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Sehun's qoute: It hurts to have someone in your heart that you can't have in your arms.Sometimes, you just gotta accept that some people can only be in your heart…
No matter how hard you try to let people be in your life, if they’re not meant to be there, they won’t be. You can only have their presence in your heart and be satisfied with that.
Sehun cries harder once he’s back in the car with his father in the driver’s seat, and his papa sitting in the back seat with him. He buried his head in his Papa's chest and the weight of the situation finally settling into him, realising how his brother and best friend made a fool out of him for God knows how long, now everything make sense, Kai being distant and refusing to spend time with Sehun because he's secretly dating Sehun's brother - he can’t help the tears that pour out of him endlessly. He cries like the world is ending, he cries with loud, broken sobs and his chest heaving. He cries like he’ll never get the chance to do so again.
And his father keeps rubbing his back soothingly. An hour later, sehun is curled up like a ball in his bedroom floor, the marble is cold against his skin but he needed it to feel alive– he's so angry at Kai, his brother, at himself and at everything. Sehun wondered what went wrong.
How can it be that the person which I consider as my friend is the one who will betray me? How I wish that I could just walk away and forget about everything. However, the reality that won’t come after me is the thing that hurts me the most. He chuckled betterly . He feel helpless ans stupid, now he get why unrequited love hurts, Kai doesn't love him, he love his brother, now he believed the biggest curse in life is not loosing your love like some people say, but not being loved by someone you love.
He understands once again that one of the greatest pain and agony is being in one sided love with someone you cherish. he doesn't have a chance with Kai, heck maybe he never had it to begin with, it was just him being foolishly in love with him, ! it hurts. Unrequited love is like hitting your head against a wall that isn't even there .He felt it now. He felt like his long time dream have been crushed. how is he supposed to handle everything now? How is supposed to remain friends with Kai after this? Kai You were the first boy to completely destroy me but you’ll never know that Do you know the feeling, when your heart is so hurt, that you could feel the blood dripping? That's how Sehun is feeling right now. So many unpleasant emotions and It hurts so ing much. He have to let go, he have to watch Kai love his brother and be okay with it. But the question is can Sehun do it? Can he let Kai go? Can he stop being friends with Kai? Or can he stop loving Kai? It might be difficult but he can try if Kai is happy being with his brother.– damn what is he thinking right now? He's so disappointed in Kai and his brother for hiding their relationship from him but he wants Kai the be happy no matter how much the older hurts him– then there is knock on his door, sehuyn didn't bother to move and a few seconds later his fathers walked in with glass of water in his dad's hand. "Hey!" His papa said moving closer, he crouched down and runs his fingers through Sehun's hair."you're okay?" He asked. Sehun leans into the touch and shook his head."No pa I am not okay– I am far from being okay, all I feel is disappointed and betrayed and stupid" his voice is hoarse from the amount of crying he's done. "Hey it's gonna be okay" his Dad said sitting on the floor next to him, "drink this it will help a little" he passed the cup to Sehun and he accepted it without a protest. He feels weak and drained, his thankful for his parents as his Dad helped him to sit up before he gulped the water down his dry throat resting his body against his bed. They were silent for a moment before his dad speaks first. "What do you want to do?" He asked. Sehun throws his hand uselessly in the air.
"I don't know" he said truthfully. "I mean do you want to confront them now? We can make a phone call–" "No, not now, I don't want to see either of them at the moment, I don't know what I might do or say to them." His Dad hums and nod in understanding.
"How are you feeling?" He asked. "Betrayed, disappointed, used" he said tell them. "I understand how you feel, Kai Is your best friend and you've been in love with him for as long as I can remember and Shixun is your brother that you got United with after some years and suddenly you found out they're dating behind your back, I know how disappointed you are right now because nothing hurts more than being disappointed by the person you thought would never hurt you." his Dad said caressing his hand softly. "It's hurts Dad, so ing much" he says as another set of tears roll down his cheeks. "I know, you should be strong." "The worst thing about being lied to is knowing you weren’t worth the truth.Dad" "No Sehun, you're worth everything in this world, I am sure Kai and your brother had their reasons for not telling you" "I feel like dying, I hate myself and everything" "You're disappointed. But you should know disappointments are a result of failed expectations. To have less disappointments, either expect less from other people or demand more from yourself" his dad said and Sehun knows the elder is right, he had high expectations from both Kai and his brother that's why he's feeling this way. "And again. You have to accept whatever comes and the only important thing is that you meet it with courage and with the best that you have to give. We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope." Sehun nods, more tears stream from his eyes, his carrier father uses his thumb to wipe them off. But he had no hope about being with Kai anymore. "How can I Iive with such heart ache? I don't think I can survive this" His father shook his head.
"You can. son, and Let me make one thing clear: None of us are ever going to get to the place in life where we have no more disappointments. We can't expect to be sheltered from every little thing. Disappointment is a fact of life--one that must dealt with. Life is not always a celebration; so be ready to courageously face disappointments when they come, and be sure to grow stronger and wiser from them." Sehun had always known his father is such a wise man but he's truly intrigued by his father's words which are all true, and as he let the words digest in to his heart, he felt a little tad better.
"Me and your papa has gone through depression that even lead to devastation when we lost your brother, but we made it through that hard times, because of each other" his dad glanced over at his papa who blinked the tears welling in his eyes. "Brother?" Sehun asked confused. "You lost Shixun?" "No, not shixun." His dad said with a shake of his head "your other brother, your elder brother" "What? We had a brother?" "Yes, he's a year older than you but we lost him–" "How?" "He went missing on his first birthday, that time your papa was still pregnant with you and Shixun" "Oh my God!" Sehun muffled his sobs with his palm "how did that happen?" His papa shook his head.
"We'll tell you about it some other time, but now let's talk about you okay?" Sehun can't believe what he's hearing, he had another brother? Never in a million years he ever thought he'll hear something like this, it must be a difficult topic for his parents that's why they never mentioned it to him. "What's his name" "Yifan" his dad said with a bitter expression. "I am so sorry Dad, pa–" "No sehun don't be, it's been 18 years now– well let's not talk about it for now please" his dad said and Sehun nods, he doesn't want to open an old wound his parents have tried to hard to heal from. "Now I w
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