Is He...?

Twisted Fate. (Editing)
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Kai qoute:  Sometimes  it’s not the person your miss, but the feelings and moments you had when you were with them.  


Kai walked into the school after parking his car in the parking lot, he walks to where he knows Sehun's car always come through. He feels dead from the inside. Like a living person without his soul, Don't even start with how he feels right now, because he feels like , the whole ordeal with Sehun is killing him slowly, Sehun is selfless and endless giving. Without him, kai doesn’t think he could be where he is today, all he wants is for his best friend to forgive him, because he can't imagine his life without Sehun as his best friend, he don't want a live where Sehun is not part of it no matter how little the other's presence is.if not as a lover at least as a friend.  he doesn't want to know what he'll be without Sehun,  he's sure it will be like loosing a part him that he'll never recover from. He'll be nothing without Sehun. because Sehun is his other half. without him in his life, leaves a gaping hole that no one can ever fill no matter how hard they try.  Sehun has been everything that he had ever wanted. He never saw this coming,  He feels as if he's buried deep in a broken dream, where he's knee-deep without a plea. It a ing toture without Sehun. It's only been a day but he felt as if ages have passed. He have to make things right. He'll do anything to earn Sehun's forgiveness. He can never let go of his friend. No matter what might comes he'll stick with Sehun till the very end. it’s just gotten to be too much. Kai is struggling to hold back his feelings for Sehun. If he didn’t love Sehun so much as his best friend he would try to distance himself, but there’s more than just romantic attraction toward the younger. They’ve been each other’s anchors for years now. You don’t just walk away from a bond like theirs. That's why he wants to fix things. He need to– no he have to fix things with his best friend. We wished he can turn back the hand of the clock to make things right, where Sehun wouldn't be mad at him, where they'll be happy like they used to. But for now he'll give sehun the time he asked. He shoved his hands in his pants pockets as he walks, then stop before he turned around when he heard his name being called. "Hey Kai!" He saw Kris running towards him. "Alright wait a second" But Kai don't want to face Kris now, he wants to see Sehun and see how the other will treat him, he wants to see if Sehun will at least spare him a glance or hopefully will even say a word or two to him"I need to go Kris" was all he said before turning around to keep walking. "Hold on a damn minute" Kris yelled impatiently. "I need to talk to you. Damnit" "I don't have a minute, not now Kris, just ing leave me alone" "You can be pissed all you want but quit being a ." Kris says as he caught up with Kai. Kai stopped his movement and turned slightly to glance at his friend. "Look I am not trying to act like a or something, I just– I want to see Sehun before classes start, it's important" Kris sighed before he nods. "Alright,go see him, but I am guessing his probably still mad at you" "You knew?" "Of course i knew, he's like a kid brother to me, I will know when he's troubled" Kai sighed, of course, how can he forget what Sehun meant to Kris."I don't know what to do Kris" Kai said defeatedy . Kris gave him a sympathetic look. "You hurt him Kai" "I know" "Why did you?" Kris crossed his arms over his chest as he stare down at his friend.  "I don't know man, one minute I love Sehun, the other his brother is asking me out and telling me not to tell his brother and now Sehun found out and he's mad at me. And I am still pathetically in love with him." Kris shakes his head with a chuckle.
"Of course you are.–" he chuckled again  "You both are idiots" he said resting a gentle hand on Kai's shoulder. "I am the stupid one" "No. you don't understand Kai, you both are stupid" Kris groaned "I wish I can make you two realize what you both are missing" Kai don't understand what his friend is talking about."what do you mean?" He asked narrowing his eyes. Kris shakes his head once again. "I wish I can tell you how Sehun really feels, but I can't because it's not my place to say it, and same goes to you, I wish I can tell Sehun how you feel but I can't ugghh" he groaned again. "You both are stupid. Really" "H- how does Sehun feel?" Kai's heart is racing like it might jumped out of his ribcage, he doesn't want to rise hope "Perhaps does he– does he have–"  "No." Kris quickly cuts him off. "Did you not here what I said? I can't tell you, it's Sehun's to tell not mine. But really Kai you made the wrong choice, you choose the wrong person" Not again. Why the does everyone keeps telling him he made the wrong choice? Who the hell do they want him to be with? "Oh yeah?" He says and Kris nods "So why don't you uhm tell me who the right person is?" "Sehun" Kris said without an ounce of hesitation. Kai let out a bitter laugh. "You don't get it do you? I love Sehun. Kris, you knew that, but Sehun doesn't love me, heck he doesn't even like me in that way, he have someone else he likes" "Okay!"Kris nod and chewed on his lips, clearly trying to hold back a laughter "Who might that be?" "Jeon ing Jungkook" This time, Kris laughed, as he looked at Kai like he's the dumbest person on Earth. "Right! Okay then, good luck to both of you. But let me give you a piece of advice. 'Never pretend to a love which you do not actually feel, for love is not ours to command" he smoothen Kai's blazer and adjusted the shorter's neck tie "You don't love Shixun Kai" he patted Kai's chest directly where his heart lays, and with that Kris patted his shoulder one more time before walking towards the classes. Kai stare at his friend's retreating figure as he allowed those words to sink in.
Never pretend to a love which you do not actually feel, for love is not ours to command. He repeated Kris' words in his head. Kris is a cryptic bastard. Kai decided.  He heaved another sigh and was about to walk away when he felt a hand circling around him, hugging him from behind. He was startled but immediately recognized who it was."Hey baby!" Shixun said softly. Kai turned around a little.
"Hey! Where is Sehun?" Was what he asked. Because that is the most important thing to him. Sehun. Shixun was silent for a moment and Kai slowly unwrapped Shixun's arm from his waist before turning around completely when he noticed the other's quietness. And Shixun has his bottom lip trapped between his teeth. He looked sad and remorseful, he takes a deep breath before he says.
"I am sorry Kai. I caused this rift between you and Sehun, I should have thought before I asked you not to tell him" he ran his fingers through his well styled hair."I was so stupid, I was waiting for the right moment to surprise him but everything got ruined" and the next thing Kai noticed was tears rolling down his boyfriend's face."I am sorry Kai. I will do whatever it takes to make sure things are good again between you two again." Kai felt his heart sinking at the sight, he moved closer and pulled his boyfriend into his arms. Shixun buried his face at the crock of his neck as he cries. "I am sorry–" he choked on a sob. "Hey" Kai rubbed his back in a soothing manner. "It's okay, it's not just your fault, I am at fault as well." Which is true, he should have insisted on telling Sehun but he didn't and went along with what Shixun wanted. "No please it's my fault and I just want you to know how truly sorry I am. It breaks my heart to see you hurting. I am sorry Kai. I love you so much"  Kai hums and tightened his grip on Shixun's body.
"Shh, cry no more" he shushes and he raised his head to adjust his position but his eyes caught the sight of Sehun, staring at them from a far. His heart sank further from the look on Sehun's face. Sehun looked at him with an unreadable expression.but there is that look of betrayed and disappointment still lingering in his eyes.
He wants to apologise over and over until the words are cemented into Sehun. He hurt Sehun But he’ll live up to that mistake now. He’ll never forget the way Sehun's looking at him now..He can’t forget the disappointment sprawled over Sehun, evident in the way his shoulders had slumped. Kai tried to offer a smile but Sehun turned away and walked towards the classrooms. He sighed before gently pulling away and uses his thumb to wipe Shixun's tears. "We'll figure out what to do .okay?" Shixun nods "now let go to class." He pulled his boyfriend along as they walked to their classroom. When he entered into the classroom, he was expecting to see Sehun sitting somewhere but no, he was in their seat looking attentively at the book in his hand. Kai let out a breath of relief. He let go of Shixun'
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