sorry, really sorry for the long wait.
this chapter was a mess, still is according to my opinion.
 but i am going to power wrote through my block. 
here is the next chapter

oh no. what have I done?

he took a step forward, but was immediately yanked back by namjoon, who had finally been let in by the healer. the alpha closed the door and tried pulling hoseok away from the room.

"let me go! let me go, please!" hoseok yelled, trying to squirm out of namjoon's grip. But the alpha was too strong.

"are you stupid? don't you dare take a step inside! he can scent you, and stop screaming, he will wake up!" the alpha hissed into his ears.

Hoseok stilled immediately. but he was too late, as a deep whine sounded from inside the room. 

seokjin cursed out loud before he dashed inside, namjoon trailing behind, leaving the door open for hoseok to see.

the sight inside was devastating.

yoongi was up, looking around the room with a confused expression.

until he scented citrus.

the omega's eyes locked onto Hoseok's own.the blue irises widened.

and the omega broke down. 

hoseok watched with increasing alarm as the omega scrambled towards the edge of the bed, whining and sobbing. he kept mumbling something, looking directly at the alpha, while the healer tried in vain to calm the omega down.

it was only after namjoon closed the door on his face that hoseok understood what the other had said.

yoongi had been apologising.

 It was morning when seokjin finally had calmed yoongi down enough for the omega to fall asleep again and he stepped out of the room. to his shock, he found hoseok curled up on the floor, trembling slightly.

he called out for the alpha, who jerked awake, wide eyes searching and confused. "I am awake! i am awake! what happened?" he asked, words slurred.

"shouldn't I be the one asking you that?" he said coldly. the alpha flinched back at the tone, but remained silent, gaze returning to the floor. 

"you did not answer my questions yesterday. so i am repeating them for you. why was my friend here during his heat? why did he say you would reject him?" 

silence.

two strides in, seokjin had hoseok's collar in his hands, shaking the alpha harshly.

"you do not get to stay silent! you don't ! not when my friend is in there, bawling his heart out!" 

"GIVE ME AN EXPLANATION" he screeched.

namjoon intervened at that point, pulling the two apart, resulting in hoseok falling down. 

"leave me joon, i need to show him what happens when he s around with my yoongi, i will show him alright." he screamed, struggling in the alpha's hold.

"answer me you coward! answer me now!" 

" I ED UP!" hoseok yelled, quietening the omega, who froze, not expecting the outburst.

hoseok lifted his head to look at seokjin in the eyes, tears streaming his own. he was barely suppressing the sobs, as he racked his brains to form proper words. 

"i ed up and he became distant... and i let him, and i ignored him.. and I .. and I... let him believe that.. that i.. hate him, and I... i don't know what to do.. oh god.. what have i.. what did i.. oh no.. i can't ..i cant breathe.." the alpha coughed and heaved, trying to breath, but he couldn't, as sob after sob racked his body, and the tears blinded him.

he felt terrible, the guilt that had been slowly rising inside him, burst out like a volcano, and no thoughts except that of 'i ed up.. i ed up.. its my fault' came to his mind. he had never expected things to turn out this way. he was confused, shocked and guilty. all the emotions had washed over him in a rush, leaving him desperate for breath.

A sudden hand on his back brought him back.

"breath hoseok-shi. slowly. breath. i will count. breath with me, come on."

it took some time, but slowly the alpha starting taking breaths, his heart calming down step by step, breath after breath. after he finally felt like like he could breath normally, he opened his moist eyes to thank seokjin, who was looking at him with a unreadable expression, hand still on his back. 

"i am sorry." 

the omega just sighed. "this does not mean i forgive you." he got up, going up to namjoon and telling him something, before leaving the infirmary.

hoseok just stared at the closed door.

hoseok trudged toward his house, mind a muddle of thoughts. namjoon had insisted he go and fresh up, but he knew.

yoongi would wake up soon, and they did not want him there.

tears sprang once again as he remembered the expression on the omega's face earlier that day. yoongi had been scared of him. his alpha. his own mate. the omega had apologised to him profusely, when he should have been the one apologising.

apologise for being an to his own husband.

he made his way into the house, moving into the guest room to pick his clothes and noticed the made bed. 

he didn't remember making it. it must have been yoongi. 

a feeling bubbled up his chest.

guilt.

he almost left the house after cleaning up, but decided to get some of yoongi's clothes. he entered the room, and yoongi's scent hit him hard. he suppressed a sob at realising this was the only place that smelt like the omega while all other rooms smelt only like himself. 

yoongi wore his scent blocker at home too.

He made his way to the cupboard, seeing the rest of his own clothes piled up neatly next to yoongi's own. the omega had segregated the shelf into two, keeping ample space between the two piles, and the sight only made him feel more guilty. tears blinding his vision he picked up the first clothes he could get his hands on, and turned to leave the room, only to stop in shock at the sight in front of him.

the pile of clothes on the bed.

yoongi's nest.

hoseok slowly made his way to the pile. the clothes were carefully arranged, the scent of coffee radiating from the middle. but he could distinguish other scents from the pile.

vanilla of jimin, rosewood of the healers. 

there was not a single clothing of his own in the pile. and the fact hit the alpha like a truck.

guilt.

 when hoseok went back to the infirmary, namjoon just came out of the room.

"is he alright?" the alpha croaked, voice hoarse from all the sobbing earlier at home.

namjoon nodded, and hoseok slumped in relief. "he woke up some time back, ate and took the herbs.i think he did not realise what was even happening. he dozed off again." hoseok nodded. he knew heat suppressants made omegas extremely tired. the heat was controlled, but it took a toll on their bodies.

to think yoongi thought that was a better option than coming back home to hoseok, made the alpha feel sick.

guilt.

Namjoon took a look at the tear stained face of the alpha. he had told the alpha to freshen up, but he was looking worse. he sighed. "his fever has gone down. i think the heat has passed for the most part." the alpha sighed again."seokjin has gone to the palace to check up on jimin, so you go and take a look, hmm? but don't go too near, he may wake up." hoseok nodded, tears b his eyes in gratitude, before he made his way inside.

coffee scent was still prevalent in the room, however less potent than earlier. Yoongi was sleeping on the bed, curled up in the position as hoseok saw him in before, brows creased together in discomfort.

the omega looked so small, so vulnerable. a pang rose in hoseok's chest.

guilt.

the alpha slowly made his way to the other end of the room, sliding down to the floor, eyes still on the sleeping figure. at every rise and fall of yoongi's chest, the invisible rope around hoseok's heart tightened, and he fought to keep the tears away.

he could not cry.

he felt did not deserve to.

the alpha remained at the same position, unmoving, eyes fixed on the omega. he expected to remain there for the entire day.

what he was not expecting,however, was the king's arrival.

jimin rushed in, tears streaming down his face, fist stuffed in his mouth to keep from making a sound. he immediately went to yoongi's bed side, taking yoongi's palm into his own. jungkook remained at the door, a concerned look on his face. Seokjin standing beside the alpha, glaring at him for being inside.

hoseok, on the other hand, was panicking. how did jimin know yoongi was here? did seokjin tell him everything? oh god, he was not ready to face him, or his questions. if jimin k