Hoseok had woken to the sounds of whispered conversation.

His nose was blocked and his ears was still ringing, so he could not make out who was in the room, and the lack of senses made him struggle and open his eyes.

Only to see the back of Yoongi, talking quietly to Seokjin.

Guilt surged up inside Hoseok, and he quickly closed his eyes again.

He was not ready to face Yoongi.

So he remained lying on the bed, which he realized was his own from the guest room, a bit of the familiar scent of home making its way into his muted sense of smell. 

this meant, he was home.

Which meant Yoongi was not leaving.

Hoseok took in a sharp breath at that realization, and stilled when he heard the conversation stop. He tried his best to look unconscious, eyes closed and as relaxed as much as possible with the panic surging inside of him.

Thankfully, the two people believed it, and went back to their conversation.

Soon enough he heard the door open and close, and realized someone had left, and a quiet enveloped over the room.

At first he thought both of them had left, until he heard some faint rustling to his right.

It must be seokjin, he wondered to himself. Yoongi must have left, not being able to able to be in his presence any longer.

He was not sure of he should be happy or sad at having escaped the omega.

"Are you done acting?" a gruff voice spoke out and Hoseok stilled, eyes opening in shock.The first thing he saw was yoongi, holding a bowl in his hands, and looking at hoseok with a frown.

Hoseok gulped and nodded, but before he could open his mouth, yoongi beat him to it, taking whatever was in the bowl and forcing a spoonful of it into the alpha's mouth. It was scalding hot, and Hoseok's eyes watered, but he forced himself from spitting it out, just looked at yoongi with wide eyes.

"You have not eaten in three days, have you?" the omega questioned, taking another spoonful of the porridge, hoseok had realised, and blowing on it, as if realizing it was hot only then. 

Hoseok looked at his hand, shame engulfing him. 

"What were you thinking, running off like that, no trace for three days? I was out searching for you all night." the omega asked, and hoseok looked up to see the omega.

He only then noticed the bags under Yoongi's eyes, how tired the omega looked. 

"I'm sorry." Yoongi looked a little shock at the sudden apology, but nodded after a while, looking at the cooling porridge in the spoon. He held out the bowl to Hoseok. "Here. Eat." Hoseok took the bowl carefully, and noticed how pale the omega looked.

"Have you eaten?" the alpha suddenly asked, and yoongi sighed.

"I did, but it was of no use." Hoseok did not understand what he meant, and the other did not seem to be giving any other explanation. So Hoseok just let it be. 

"Do you want some of this?" he asked, and the omega made a face at him. "That is sick people food. There is no way I am having that tasteless thing."  That made hoseok smile, and he nodded.

A silence came over them, and neither knew how to break it. Yoongi busied himself with a book, while hoseok finished his porridge, deep in thoughts.

 Hoseok did not know how to proceed. This was their first conversation after yoongi screamed at him, calling him out for all his mistakes. The alpha had seen it coming, this was bound to happen. They had never openly addressed their arrangement, and how it had affected yoongi, and how hoseok had made stupid mistakes and how the both are dealing with the consequences of them. 

Though Hoseok had seen it coming, he was not necessarily ready for it. The outburst was a shock to him, he had not expected to happen suddenly like that, and even though hoseok had realized his mistakes, having it screamed at him when he was already not feeling great about himself really affected him. 

He could not face yoongi after that, and the guilt that was always there just increased multifold after hearing yoongi's point of view. He still made the breakfast, but could not eat it. He could not go to work, because he could not concentrate. Even sitting at home was not possible, as every object in the house that his mother had so carefully prepared for the two of them, only served to remind him of how big a failure he had been.

He had been so caught up in what he did not get, that he failed to appreciate what he had.

He looked up at yoongi, who was lost in his book, and his heart clenched painfully.

And he had ruined the only chance he had.

He did not deserve him, he really did not. 

He once again looked at yoongi. Hoseok recalled what he had said, about how lonely and scared he felt, how bad he felt for having to live alone, of having to wait up for hoseok everyday, only to be dissappointed. He thought back to the night they had spent together, though he did not remember most of it. he did remember the morning after, he remembered panicking and apologising to yoongi, calling the night a mistake.

He now realized how big a heartbreak it would have been for Yoongi.

And yet, here he was. Of course Yoongi no longer talked to him, and no longer waited up for him. But he was still living in the same house as he was, he still looked for him when he went missing, too caught up in his guilt to function properly. Is still sitting here, making sure hoseok eats and gets better.

 Yoongi deserved better. Much better than this. Than him.

"Why?" the alpha croaked out suddenly, and Yoongi startled, looking up at him blankly.

"What?"

"Why? Why did you come looking for me in the middle of the night?" hoseok asked, eyes not leaving yoongi's face, which seemed to get slightly uncomfortable. "you did not have to. Especially after what has happened, after what I put you through. so, why? why did you come looking for me?"

Yoongi seemed taken aback at the question. He seemed genuinely lost for a second, as if not knowing himself why he had done that. But the