A/N: HEY CHINGUS! Here is our update for today!

Thank you to all our subscribers and to those who upvoted the story thank you so much!

Going back in time....

Will Soojung forgive Amber that easily?

AMBER’S POV

“Amber-ssi, we’re here…” I sighed and thanked my driver who was on the act of getting out of the car to open my door when i stopped him. “No need Samchon...”

My feet feels so heavy so does my heart. This is a bad decision. Coming here is a bad decision! I should just tell Scott I can’t come because there’s an emergency... yeah... i’ll just call him that I can’t come then I’ll go straight to the Jung Residence and tell Soojung our dinner is happening.

Soojung... I closed my eyes and saw Soojung’s sad face still lingering in my mind.

“Don’t make a promise Amber… I’m so use now on you breaking it.”

Her words were like sharp pointed glass piercing my heart. The thought of her slowly slipping away from me scares me...

I should really go now before Scott sees me--

*THUD!* *THUD!*

It was Scott knocking on the window of my car telling me to get out and follow him quickly. I nodded at him and gave him a wave meaning i’ll be there. I took a deep breath and opened my cellphone the wallpaper welcoming me. It was Soojung’s candid photo that I took the first time I showed her my new phone. The photo that always greets me in the morning when I wake up because I will text her immediately...

I’m sorry Soojung… I don’t want you to know what I’m doing… you will definitely get mad if you find out. But I promise… this is the last time. Tomorrow everything will be better. 

I promise.

“Samchon, wait for me please? This will be quick... after this... uhh... will you please accompany me to the J-jung residence?” I asked him politely while scratching my head. My face flushing in embarrassment because my driver gave me a thumbs up and a knowing smile.

“No problem Amber-ssi! But why didn’t you gave the flowers to her earlier? I thought its the plan?!”

“There... there’s a slight change of plan Samchon. I... I will explain later. For now, just wait for me please?”

“You know you can count on me Amber-ssi...” I bowed my head at him in gratitude for always being there.

I went out of my car and entered the familiar shop I have been frequenting on for the past two and a half months. The bright lights and familiar cheers of competitors echoing inside the high ceiling room where dozens of computers are set up for gamers.

Yes, gamers.

This is my hobby nowadays, playing online games. I just stumbled upon this one night when I was looking for Eric and Peniel. They were playing here so I watched them and they seem too good with it. I tried it too and got hooked, going here alone after classes or org meetings just to play.

And its also a nice way to avoid Soojung…

No… its not that I don’t like her anymore. I like her so much that I have to distance myself from her because it makes me crazy when I’m beside her. I have to control myself not to do the things in my mind that I want to do to her or else she will kill me… or probably Jessica unnie will kill me with her ledger or baseball bat.

And the attention we are getting from the students are too much, too much to handle.

I hear the other students talk about her and why we are so close. There’s also a gossip going around school that Soojung is so far from her Jessica unnie who is a model student back on her time in KIS. That instead of joining various school clubs that her sister joined before and excelled, she only joined the school newspaper and befriended the daughter of the ‘Presidential Puppet’, the daughter of an adulterer (?) and me the androgynous daughter of her Father’s business competitor. I didn’t even know they are having a competition… businessmen… tsk tsk tsk.

Soojung knows about the gossips but she doesn’t give a damn about it. Always like that, the Soojung that I know. She said if she will let the gossips affect her it won’t do good on her, if she let herself be affected by the gossips then she will just give the gossip mongers a free ride on her life.

Add the Jinri situation and it also added to the frustration I am having. Until now Jinri hasn’t acknowledge us, not even talking to us choosing to pass her message through Sunyoung. What are we?! Statues?

There are times Soojung will say she misses Jinri… but we can’t do anything because Jinri doesn’t even give a damn about us pretending we don’t exist.

Soojung and I are doing okay together until I noticed one day that its not healthy anymore…. not healthy anymore for me. Why?

Because everytime I will hold her hand or touch her, every time our skin will touch… the hairs in my body will rise same as my body temperature. Whenever I will see her lips, oh Lord…. all I wanna do is bite it. And when she bites her lips that’s when I think I’m going to go crazy… so crazy that I see myself like a tiger pouncing on her.

That’s why I have to be away from her. Push her away, avoid her until this craziness inside me called hormones dies down. Bad thing is, me avoiding her became frequent. Then I discovered this game and I became an addict, even joining a team.

Losing myself in the game.

I met Scott, Caroline, Jin, and Ellin in the computer shop. They are a group of American born Koreans who are Star Craft gamers. They are not studying anymore and went on full time playing Star Craft because they earn some money just playing the game all day. They spend almost 12 hours inside this computer shop just playing and having a good time. It was fun… the game calmed my mind a bit when I am playing. Forgetting Soojung and us a bit… that is my mistake.

That a lot of times I already forgot my promises to her of going out and tutoring her after class. Forgetting too to walk her to the parking lot before we go home because after class I have to rush and go to the computer shop because Scott will be texting me non-stop asking where I am because the tournament will be starting without me.

And when I do get a chance to be with her I was always preoccupied with a lot of things, friends, etc.

It always pains my heart when I tell her a lie… lying to her about my whereabouts. I don’t want her to know where I am going and what I am doing because I don’t want her to be disappointed of what I’ve become.

She has always been patient and understanding, not asking a lot. Sometimes I see her staring at me with her beautiful smile that I always love to see. But these past few days I see sadness in there.

Am I making her sad now?

Hahaha… I’m such a fool…

Maybe she’s better off without me… this fool who what only knows is to push her away, avoid her, make her a fool with broken promises. Here we are eager to reach our goal that by the end of this year we will be officially together, learning everything about each other… falling in love along the way.

Then here I am… possibly ruining my chance of being with her.

I want to be with her and make her officially mine but I am too afraid to be the reason of her fall.

~~~~~~~~

Is it too late to realize that pushing her away is the dumbest thing I ever thought of? Because if anyone will tell me its a ing Yes then I am really dumb to the highest level.

Yesterday I already told Scott I will stop playing Star Craft for the better. It was supposed to be my last game yesterday and today is officially the end of my online games saga This is hard to say but I missed some classes and important exams before because of playing with them. They included me in their team and we were winning bets, earning money. Me forgetting that Soojung is waiting for my call or text… me going home late at night because I didn’t notice the time. Instead of entering through the front door, I will climb at the Fire Exit of our house at the back that I always leave open by sticking something on it so it won’t lock. I became a sloppy version of myself that I am not.

But all secrets will be revealed at the most unexpected time. The other night while I was opening the door of the Fire Exit, Jackie was standing there looking at me like I’m the most stupid person in this land. She didn’t spoke a word, she just looked at me and I saw disappointment in her eyes.

It was the same when I look at Soojung’s eyes when I lie to her. I see love… but I also see disappointment.

I don’t even need money… but what hooked me with the game is how I can be someone different from myself.

I am not Amber Liu, the androgynous second daughter of Gong-JJL Holdings.

In the gaming world, I am Llama_24… the fastest rising Star Craft gamer in Seoul. They wouldn’t even know who am I or where I came from.

Jackie brought me to my room that night in silence. The moment she closed the door. She stood in front of me crossing her arms while studying my face. Too embarrassed to look at my sister, I looked down to hide my guiltiness.

“I called Soojung a while ago…” my ears perked up hearing Soojung’s name. I straightened my back while still looking down, playing with the key of my Porsche. I drove the car home… I told my driver to leave me at the computer shop and I will just call him when I will go home. I took the key from him and gave him money to take a taxi home.

The truth is… I was force to make a bet. Since I don’t have cash on-hand, I decided to bet my car. If our team wins, I keep the car. If we lose, they will have my Porsche and I will go home walking because I included my Jordan 3 that I am wearing.

Luckily we won. I was so worried that we will not win because if I lose the Porsche, I will also lose my freedom.

Instead of calling my driver, I drove the car home in a careful manner so I won’t attract the attention of the police patrolling the streets. I know how to drive, Jackie already taught me well. Its just that I don’t have a license since I’m still a minor.

“W-what did she say?…”

“I asked her if you are with her. She was surprised because what she knows is you were hanging out with me and our ‘cousins’. I’m really baffled Amber… when did we had cousins?!”

“I made it up Jack..”

“Of course you did! We don’t have cousins! I told her we don’t have cousins! YOU KNOW WHAT SOOJUNG SAID!?” she took her phone from her pocket and shoved it in my face. Showing a conversation window of Jackie and Soojung. It broke my heart reading her message to Jackie that I deeply regretted everything.

“She said… ‘Unnie, maybe Amber is just playing basketball with Eric and Peniel. She hasn’t returned my calls since she left the school after our class. Don’t worry about Amber because she won’t do anything bad… she’s just having fun… don’t scold her when she gets home.’ … hear