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Listen here: https://soundcloud.com/amberliuofficial/sets/rogue-rouge

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HOw about you buddies? 

Our Vitamin Luna will be releasing two songs in April 24! Let's support them all! 

Peace yow~!

SOOJUNG’S POV

TWO WEEKS.

Two weeks has passed and Jinri was still against the special friendship that Amber and I have. She only talks to Vic unnie and Sunyoung when we are inside the office. Inside the classroom she pretends as if Amber and I don’t exist. If she wants to tell me or Amber something, she will pass a note to Sunyoung then our friend will be the one to tell it to us.

I mean, okay fine, she has an issue about same relationships. If only she will tell us what happened maybe we can better explain to her about the reason why I am like this and Amber too. Its a process… I didn’t woke up one day and declared myself “I am gay!” puking rainbows and sounding like a unicorn.

Jessica unnie told me she was already in her second year when she met Yuri unnie back in High School who was a transferee from another international school here in Seoul. It was the first time she felt something odd to herself, having that sudden connection with a person. She said when Yuri unnie shook her hands and flashed her charming smile at her after being introduced by Yoona unnie in the cafeteria, she heard Angels singing.

Corny.

Unnie said she always has been attracted with guys. She said she was a Freshman in High School when she had her first ‘boyfriend’ that I didn’t know. The name was Shim Jaewon she said, handsome and funny, a great dancer. They broke up after a month because unnie got tired of him. It was always boys that she likes, she said. That’s why she was surprised when she met Yuri unnie and it happened to her… she was attracted to the girl she only just met.

“I was confused… I like boys and I also like Yuri. So I tried to hide it and kept on dating boys even though I was falling real hard for Yuri. Every little thing she does… even drinking water makes me stare dumbly at her. It was only Yoona who knew about my intense liking on Yuri, she told me ‘Who knows? Maybe she likes you too!’ but I didn’t believe her because Yuri doesn’t even show any interest of liking me. Gosh… she’s always being friendly. Until the end of the term when Yuri confessed to me that she likes me. By the start of Senior year we are already together and officially a couple. Only a few close friends knew about us because we are being careful not to be talk about. Scary… then Yuri and I broke up after 6 months, I dated a guy that I admit I really like and Yuri dated a girl. That made me realized that I am only gay for Yuri, but I still have this thing for guys. So now I identify myself as a Bi-ual.”

In my case, yes… I like Amber and has this overwhelming feeling of affection for her. I'm in love with her and its a good and at the same time sad feeling. And I don’t have any plans of being acquainted with boys because my system really rejects them. I don’t know why… I’m not a man hater but I don’t really find boys attractive, Sylvia and Kim said to me before that maybe I am aual. No interest in boys and girls, just my camera. On that I agree hehehe.

~~~~~~~~~

It was a lazy afternoon in the office, but I have to finish uploading the photos I took from last week. Amber was behind her desk working on her graphics and photo edits that Vic unnie wants that’s why I didn’t dare disturb her.

I fell into another staring spell on her, my favorite hobby. I love staring at her because she’s like an art… she deserves to be stared at and analyze. I really got it bad on this Llama… tsk tsk tsk.

Both of us likes each other and it was exciting. I can see from her eyes when she looks at me that I am special and the way she treats me is like I’m the most prettiest girl in this campus. The problem is…

I was always the one making the efforts. Sure, she holds my hand when climbing up and down the stairs guiding me. Walks me to the parking lot when its time to go home (until three days ago when she failed to do it), pats my head when I whine about Science and my lack of ability to focus on playing Nintendo. But…

Why do I feel that she’s limiting herself?

That’s why I’m having this thinking that maybe… she just likes me. Likes me in a friendly way or maybe she just feel so overwhelmed with this likeness on me that she already is sorting out her feelings. Maybe she likes my companionship and my silliness, my craziness even. Maybe she likes me but its not the kind of like that I have for her. Then in the end she will be like Jessica unnie and will turn her attention to boys… or other girls… Or maybe I just think too much.

“Sunyoung-ah~~…” I turned my head on the direction of the door and saw Jinri rushing in with a smile on her face. The smile faded when she saw me and Amber inside. “Oh… uhh… maybe I’ll just come back later.” she turned around to leave. Sigh… this has to end now.

I stood up from my seat and started to the door when Amber stopped me “Where are you going?”

“I have to follow her, this has to end.”

“If she doesn’t want to talk to us then don’t. She’s already getting on my nerves…” I saw the frustration in Amber’s face when she leaned back on her seat rubbing her hands on her face. She’s tired…

Taking a deep breath, I went to her side and reached for her head it gently “Are you okay?” I don’t know if I’m just too focus in every move of her but I noticed her awkwardness when I touched her. Is there something wrong?

She stood up from her seat holding a folder and went to the filing cabinet leaving me wondering. “I’m okay Soojung… just a little tired. I slept late last night because--”

“Because of playing that stupid computer game.”

“Its called ‘Starcraft’ and its not stupid… tsss…” she chuckled at me before going back to her table with a smile. Her cellphone chimed indicating a message. I had the urge to pick up her phone from the table but she beat me to it. I saw how her face lit up while reading the message, even chuckling. Who was that??!

“Ehem…” I cleared my throat trying to get her attention but it was no use. She was busy texting, replying to whoever that person who got her attention. Who is that…

When she finally finished, she closed her phone and placed it inside her pocket and reached for her back pack under the table swinging it at her back. “Soojung, I’ll go ahead now. I have to be somewhere in 10 minutes. Take care when going home, okay?” she gave me a wink before dashing out of the office leaving me there all alone. Where the hell is she going again?!

How important is it that she don’t have time for me now!? She didn’t even ate lunch with us yesterday and today because she said she has to be somewhere. She came back late that’s why she waited outside the room until Communication class ended. I wonder where she is going and who she is meeting…

What if she’s hanging out with another girl!? or boy?!

Nah… maybe I’m just thinking too much…

~~~~~~~~~~

TWO MONTHS...

It went on for about two months. Amber always hurrying to finish her work then hurrying to go home without even waiting for me. It was always a different reason. Like “I have to be home early because Dad is coming home from L.A.! I asked him to buy me that limited edition Marvel comics I wanted.”

Jackie unnie texted me that night asking if Amber is with me. I suddenly got nervous because all I know she’s already home that time even though she didn’t sent a text like she always do. I replied to her that Amber went home early saying their Dad is going home from L.A…. she told me their Dad was just at the office the whole day. That was 1 point for lying.

The day after, I asked her how her Dad is and if she’s happy about the comics she received from her Dad. She answered me with a nervous smile and said, “Yes it was great. He bought me a lot of comics… yeah…” I stared at her intently waiting for the moment she will admit she’s not saying the truth but failed. She didn’t and changed the topic about the homework for the weekend our teacher gave. That was 2 points for lying. Plus another point at the end of the day when I asked her to accompany me to the bookstore to buy the book I like. “Sorry Soojungie… b-but Eric, Peniel, and I has a plan to study tonight at Peniel’s house. Remember the homework you told me?”

“Then why not just study with me?”

“I a-already made a promise with them…”

“Are you avoiding me?”

“A-avoid you!? Why would I avoid you?! Silly… promise, tomorrow I’ll go with you to the bookstore.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

Four points because the promise didn’t happen.

Five points because I heard the morning after from Eric that he and Peniel were playing basketball the night before with his brother. I heard them at the back talking to Amber and teasing her why she ditched them. I didn’t hear what Amber said because it was in a whisper.

Two months and the total accumulated points is now 80. If she will give me a lie again today she will really have it from me. I don’t know why I’m still believing what she says when all along I always know she wasn’t saying the truth.

Hahaha… now I’m even doubting if she was saying the truth before when she said she likes me… all those times she makes me feel special… is it just a lie?

So all those times I’m just the one pushing myself on her… hahaha… I’m so stupid. So stupid to fall for her.

I try to keep up with her, in class, in lunch time, in the office when we do our work for the paper. She does accompany me when I take photos and she acts normal… too normal that I’m beginning to be annoyed. Sometimes awkward… She does look at me with a smile, I can still see the admiration but why do I feel that she’s slowly slipping off away from me?…

All I do is make her feel that I’m always here for her… but why do I feel that she’s distancing herself little by little?

~~~~~~~~~~~~

*BEEP* *BEEP*

I stopped typing on my keyboard and looked around the office. Amber went out for a while saying she’s going to get us some juice from the