Soonyoung laid on his bed, staring at the ceiling. He didn’t want to sleep just yet as it was still early, but he didn’t want to be downstairs with the old man either. It would be so awkward. It was also a bit embarrassing, how he cowered at the soft growl from the alpha. He knew it was instinctive, he was, an omega after all and Seokmin, an alpha. But to his grandfather who probably had no idea what was happening, it would look like he was chickening out in his own house.  He could just imagine the man preparing his lecture about sticking up for himself and whatnot.

Knock knock. Sitting up, Soonyoung called his grandmother inside, making room for her to sit. She did so, holding his grandson’s hands as she stared at him warmly. The young man could only smile back, preparing himself for her lecture on relationship. Maybe. ‘How was your mom?’

‘Hrm?’ He lifted his head a bit, completely forgotten about it. Sighing, he replied, ‘Fine. I guess. She looked… older.’

‘Yes she does.’ She kept her eyes on him, making his mouth twitched, feeling as if he was expected to elaborate on his emotions. But instead of abiding to it, he continued to nod instead. Frankly speaking, he was still confused. ‘You talked to her?’

‘Nope. She can’t talk normally.’ He tried to keep it simple, ‘Not like she’s ever normal,’ he muttered unconsciously, stopping as soon as he realized his own action. ‘Sorry.’

‘She was normal, you know. She was just… too spoiled.’ Soonyoung frowned a bit. The subject was always kept from him since the old couple prefers not to talk about their failure. He wondered why she only mentioned about it now. ‘We always give her what she wanted, and with both your uncle and your dad giving her attention, she thought she deserved everything.’

‘You know, normally, when someone outside your family give attention and care about you, it’s never without intention. Usually, it’s because they want you to do the same, and sometimes, because they want to be with you, as partners. And if you’re not willing to do the same, you need to make it clear. Your mother, thought she could use people like your dad without giving back.’ His grandmother, who was now looking at her own lap, shifted her gaze back at him, as if she was secretly accusing him of something. But maybe it was only in his mind, because she was giving him a sad smile instead of a sinister one. ‘Good people can only take so much before they give up.’

‘Why do you want me to meet her?’ He finally asked, itching to know. Even after that explanation about relationship, which he was expecting, he still couldn’t see the point of letting him meet her. If that was all there was to it, a lecture, like this would have sufficed.

'Soonyoung-ah, what do you remember about her?' She asked instead, confusing the young omega even more. Even so, he tried to recall what his mother was like before everything went wrong. She was, always... silent. She treated him lovingly for the first few years of his life but she never really talk much, not towards him, nor towards his father. He never actually realized it but now that he thought about it, his mother only laugh when she was with her friends.

'She always kept things to herself. Nobody really knew what she was thinking, until it was too late...' Soonyoung clenched his jaws. Something felt really wrong here... 'You remind us so much of her.'

Soonyoung opened his mouth in disbelief, speechless to what he just heard. From his own grandmother. She just accused him of being like the woman he hated. The one person he would never become. ‘What?’ That was probably the most incorrect, offensive thing somebody ever told him. And to think that it came from his grandmother whom he loved so much... he just felt really, betrayed. He just wanted to leave right now and try to forget what he just heard. He didn't need this, not today after what happened. 'You never tell us your thoughts, it worries us, especially your harabeoji. We always doubt if we raised you well because we don't know how you'd act...'

'...just like eomma...' . He never wanted to be like her, he just wanted to be accepted. He endured enough hate he just wanted to be liked and adored instead. He never thought... his mother... .

‘That Seokmin kid, he’s a nice boy. You seem to tell him everything. He must be someone special...’

Soonyoung furrowed his eyebrows, flabbergasted at the sudden change of subject. Was she trying to guilt him into accepting Seokmin? After everything he told him about the alpha? Was all this 'being your mom' thing an act?? ‘Halmeoni… He lied to sleep with me! He’s the one who told me to-‘

‘Use him?’

‘No!’ He pulled his hand away, not liking the situation. He thought she would be on his side, hating the alpha with him. He thought she would understand. He was not the bad guy here. ‘Yes! He told me to use him, okay? He kept on feeding me with this bad thoughts about Wonu and told me to sleep with him- I’m… He’s the one using me!’

‘Owh no, Soonyoung, I agree. He should be punished for that trick he pulled.’ Finally, Soonyoung thought. Sighing a long breath of relief, he held on to his breathe when his grandmother continued with a firm tone. ‘-and if it was that one thing, I would blame him too. But dear, you kept on doing it even after that day. You knew it was wrong, you could’ve stopped.’

‘But I didn’t…’

‘But you didn’t.’ She repeated, gripping his hands in her own. ‘You’re an adult. You know the consequences, and you made your choice. You don’t blame other people for that. And being lied to doesn’t give you the right to use people either.’

Staring at the floor, just listening to the bomb dropped on him, Soonyoung felt himself being pulled into a hug. Biting the inner wall of his mouth, he tried so hard to make himself hate her, so his tears wouldn’t fall. ‘Don’t be your mom. Don't reject people who wants to make you happy because you think you deserve better.’

‘I’m not her.’

‘Running away from your ex by having -friend, then running away from Seokmin by playing with that omega… I’m worried about you.’

With his actions being concluded in that simple sentence, shoving the reality of his becoming in his face, Soonyoung clenched his teeth. His cheeks were wet but he kept himself from breaking again. He didn’t want to cry. 'Relationships are not about who deserves what. It's about tolerance and accepting other's flaws. He's not perfect, but Soonyoung-ah... he makes you whole. Like your harabeoji and me.'

He was becoming his mother. The selfish woman who only cared about herself. Who used people, good people and throw them away. He was becoming the person he hate.

He didn’t want that. He didn’t want to be left alone in the end, being hated by his own family. He didn’t want to live in regrets, crying alone thinking about the people he drove away.

‘That kid is staying in town tonight.’ His grandmother stood up, wiping his tears. ‘I’ll explain to your harabeoji tomorrow if you decide to do something.’

*****

Seokmin looked at the clock showing half past ten, wondering if the knock on his door was mistaken. But a few more knocks showing that the guest was determined to get inside made him got out of the bed to peek through the peep-hole.

‘Hey.’ Seokmin looked at the omega standing at the doorway, his hands squeezing the hem of his shirt. Shifting his body slightly to make room for the latter to enter, he closed the door behind, signalling the other male to take a sit. The hotel room was small, but thankfully there was a chair so they wouldn’t have to talk on the bed, or while standing.

‘I… Thanks for coming. To your death.’ Though still confused, Seokmin smiled weakly at the joke Soonyoung tried to crack. He knew the man was not comfortable with the tension in the room, and was expecting for him to smile, to show that he was not as angry and was willing to talk. But again, Seokmin could never be mad with the omega. Disappointed, maybe, but never angry. ‘I just wanna tell you that uh, it’s not because of you. The omega thing. It’s a personal issue.’

‘Owh. Good to know.’

‘Yeah. Totally over it. It was a mistake.’ There was a long silence, both party didn’t know what else to say. Seokmin, not sure whether he was allowed to say anything to make the omega change his mind about leaving, and Soonyoung, not knowing what else to say so the alpha would talk. He was willing to give the alpha a chance to explain himself, but he was not sure if that was what the man wanted. If he still think Soonyoung was worth it. Or whether he himself could accept the explanation that will be given to him.

‘So…’ Seokmin started this time, not actually sure where to bring the conversation to. ‘It’s late. Your grandpa’s okay with you here?’

‘Maybe… I didn’t tell him.’

‘Cool.’ He nodded, awkward. He knew that was a stupid question considering the omega was big enough to not tell his guardians his whereabouts but that was all he could think of. ‘You’re done with that omega thing?’

‘Yeah. I’ve been stupid.’ Again he nodded. Puffing his cheeks, tapping his fingers on the mattress as he tried to think of another subject, Seokmin was instead, questioned. ‘Why did you lie about the omega house?’

‘Owh.’ Now his heart was beating furiously. That question, the one question he prayed the omega never asked albeit the truth was already out, was finally asked. And though he had already thought of the answers to that question, he couldn’t recall anything that he prepared. ‘I just… wanted to be with you.’

‘So it is my body…’

‘Look. Soonyoung, I’ve been wanting to see you since our first meeting. Which, I guess, is also our first time together BUT-‘ he had to screamed the last part after realizing he had been mumbling about the something that could destroy any chance of him with the man in front of him. ‘-I mean, I wanted to tell you I like you that night. But you told me you already had someone. And I was ready to give you up but your heat came and I, I just, grabbed whatever I could. I didn’t want to let you go.’

‘But you don’t even know me. We slept together, and we meet a few times during club session. You don’t know me enough to act like that.’

‘You think we only had during orientation?’ Soonyoung frowned at Seokmin, surprised at the statement. He didn’t remember anything from that night besides the because he was too drunk but he was sure nothing else happened. If it did, he would have recalled, even just a bit, right? ‘If it’s only that, I wouldn’t even bother searching for you. I mean, I liked the , but honestly, we were both s. We were clumsy.’

‘Heol… you’re unbelievable.’ Seokmin laughed through his nose at that reaction. Who knew they would be able to talk about these things like this without being awkward and conservative about it. They were always shy about it, but since things had turned out this way, he realized that was just another tool to share their feelings. Just like talking. And crying. At least, for the both of them. Because was never without feelings for him, and he hoped it was the same for Soonyoung too.

‘We talked. Most of the night. You told me that it was the first time someone ever touched you like that. And you liked how I treated you. And you were being all adorable with your snuggles and naughty fingers and I just, fell in love. I guess.’

Seokmin looked back at the omega who was now all red, probably embarrassed with his confession.  It was not as if it was the first time he ever told Soonyoung about his feelings, but now that he thought about it, it was the first time the man ever listened to it. ‘You fell in love? That night?’

‘I guess… kinda like a first sight thing? I just love that smile. That soft, funny side of you. It’s weird. That you make me laugh without being loud. I just feel like I can be happy if it’s with someone like you.’

‘You didn’t think I’d be this complicated…’

‘Nope.’ Again the alpha laughed, enjoying another flush on those cheeks. ‘All the more reason why I wanted to get to know you better. Then I met you at Shining Diamond dancing with your members, and Jeonghan-hyung told me your name so I joined the club. To see you again. Then, you wore your Shinee tour shirt, so I got us tickets to spend time with you,’

‘And the rest is history.’ The omega continued, interrupting him, but Seokmin didn’t feel attacked. The former wasn’t doing it sarcastically, he was just cutting the story short. ‘I didn’t choose the date for the concert. It was the only place not sold out-‘

‘I know. My heat was early. Sorry for that.’

‘I wasn’t gonna touch you. I never been with an omega in heat but I… It was stupid of me but I thought, if I was gonna let you go then-‘

‘Maybe take what you can?’

‘Yeah…’ Seokmin stated, weakly. That was his exact thoughts, bad one. Which he was not proud of.

‘I-uh… I was wrong too. I was gonna cut of all contact with you after returning your jumper but… you told me about the concert and I thought…’

‘… do it after the concert?’ Seokmin noted the nod from the omega and let go of his breath, letting his head fall down. He couldn’t believe what he just heard, how close he was to being rejected by the omega had it not been for his stupid plan. And to think that Soonyoung was actually using him, though not as serious as he was, came as a bit of a shocker. Though that was only logical, considering he was betting on that exact reaction to get his plan to work.

‘Since we’re doing it… tell me what else you’ve been lying to me?’ The alpha raised an eyebrow, wondering why he should do it. Wondering what else he lied about to the omega. Because he couldn’t recall anything. Except…

‘I didn’t win the tickets. I got it. From someone…’

‘I kinda expected that. What else?’

‘I… didn’t buy the condoms? Bam Bam gave it to me. But I swear! I didn’t realize it until we were there. He put it in the trunk I’m surprise neither of us noticed.’ Soonyoung felt his heart jumped at the mention of that name. A name he was determined to forget ever since that unfortunate night. Not wanting the alpha to elaborate on the subject any longer, not wanting to remember what was attempted to him, Soonyoung asked another one, in a serious tone. He noticed Seokmin realized the atmosphere, as he too, sighed.

‘I… don’t like your mom. I lied when I said I didn’t mind her actions.’ Soonyoung pursed his lips, swallowing at that bold statement. He knew people who learned about her have the same thoughts. He just thought Seokmin was different. But maybe, that was too much to ask, considering he too, hates her. ‘She’s abusive and I don’t want her anywhere near you.’

Abusive? That wasn’t… Yes, she was a bit harsh on him but…

Nobody ever told him she was abusive. Nobody ever hated her because of what she did to him rather than what she did with her omega lover. Nobody actually cared about what happened to him during his time with her…

‘And I lied when I said I understood why you hate your dad. I like him. I think he’s cool.’

‘I used to hate your grandpa too. But then I saw him protecting you today. He’s cool too.’ He added, making Soonyoung snort. When he asked Seokmin to tell the truth, this wasn’t what he was expecting. He thought more things about their wild nights would appear, not this thing about his family being abusive or cool.

‘You know what, Lee Seokmin? You’re cool too. Coming all the way here to meet my grandpa.’

‘I could’ve died.’

‘Shot right in the head.’ Soonyoung made a gun with his hands and pretended to shoot the alpha, earning him a much expected reaction – Seokmin falling down on the bed, pretending to be hurt by the imaginary bullets. Giggling his heart out, Soonyoung got up and laid on the bed, where the alpha gestured him to be.

Seokmin’s smile, he missed it. So much. Just seeing it, like this, made all his worries go away. Touching the man’s nose, he jumped a bit as he heard Seokmin laughing. ‘Why are you touching my nose?’

‘I like your nose.’

‘I like you.’ Soonyoung smiled as a soft peck landed on his lips. Hugging the alpha and hiding his face on his neck, he pulled the man closer as he felt his wondrous scent again, enveloping him, making him feel safe, like Seokmin always does. Taking in all the scent he could, really missing the alpha, he replied,

‘I like you too.’

To be continued…

Finally! After all that running away and pushing, they finally got back together! Everything is now clear and resolved! Phew, that was a hard one.

Seokmin finally caught his fox! And that fox isn’t going anywhere anymore :3

To be honest, Hoshi is so hard to write because he has such complicated thoughts. I have a love-hate relationship with his character because he’s a naïve, yet not so innocent omega. He’s determined but unconfident too! Owh boy, he’s complicated XD

Anyways, the fic is ending soon now that they made up!  Just a few more chapters more!

Thanks for those who always read and comment on the fic. I know how frustrating it must have been this past few chapters :(

As always, love you readers so much!! <3<3