Soonyoung rested his head against the wall, taking slow breath after the vigorous routine. Closing his eyes, he bumped his head lightly, over and over again, suddenly remembering what he told his ex-lover yesterday.

He told Wonwoo they will spend his first heat together.

He messed up again. There goes his hope to remain platonic. He actually told the man clearly that he would be there to teach him how to break his heat. How he wish he could take that back.

That being said, something else had been bothering him. It was the fact that he didn’t actually mind it, to be honest. He knew it was wrong ethically, but he felt no disgust once the word came out of his mouth. In fact, right now, he was more sickened by Seokmin than Wonwoo. It was a weird feeling. It was funny, even, because for a moment he thought he could understand why his mother did what she did back then.

‘Hoshi?’ the omega flinched a bit upon hearing his name, feeling goosebumps on his skin. He tried to recompose himself, as if the other person knew what he was thinking. That was, before he realize who the other person was.

‘Seokmin…’ He looked at his watch, scanning around him before turning his attention back towards the alpha. ‘Hey…’

‘You look busy.’ The man sat beside him, handing him a bottle of water. ‘Must’ve been hard.’

‘Yeah…’ Soonyoung felt his heart beating furiously, telling him to get away from here. There were only the two of them, and he didn’t want to talk. He didn’t want to act friendly with the alpha before deciding what to do with their relationship. It wouldn’t seem right if he chose to break up. ‘Don’t you have class right now?’

Seokmin smiled at him, handing him a Snickers bar, ‘I missed you so I skipped.’

‘Skip?’ Soonyoung frowned, remembering how the man too, didn’t like to skip classes. Was that a lie too? Was he pretending to be a nerd all this while?

‘Just kidding. Class was cancelled. And I wanted to see you too. I mean, I was planning to skip anyway so… lucky!’ The younger male snickered, giving him the normal bright smile but Soonyoung couldn’t find it in him to respond with the same enthusiasm. Instead, he had to force himself to do one as not to be rude. Sensing it, Seokmin took a deep breath and changed the subject. ‘Wanna grab dinner? You’re getting skinnier.’ He pinched Soonyoung’s chin lightly.

‘I… can’t.’

‘Lemme guess. Your friend?’ Again, his heart beat furiously, as if he was caught in a lie. He never said anything yet to confirm it so technically, he wasn’t lying. But he was about to. Using Wonwoo. Again. ‘Yeah. I promised.’

‘Can we just… talk? Just for a while. You can tell him you’re gonna be late.’

‘I can’t.’

‘Just a few minutes. Hey.’ Seokmin caught his hand, stopping the omega who was about to flee. ‘Hoshi, are we okay? We haven’t talk since forever and now you’re running away as soon as I got here. This…this is not normal.’

Soonyoung swallowed nervously, trying to laugh it off. ‘I’m not running away. I just realized the time an-‘

‘If he’s that fragile that you can’t leave him for a few minutes, he shouldn’t even be here studying don’t you think?’ Sensing the truth in that spoken words, Soonyoung let out a soft sigh. There was no use trying to avoid the alpha now that they were here. Turning back, he looked straight towards the man, biting the inner walls of his mouth as he tried to find a way to escape. However, the way Seokmin looked at him, that somewhat disappointed expression made him feel so small he unconsciously lowered his head. ‘Are you mad? That I invited you to my house? Cus you’re been acting weird since I asked you.’

‘What? No’

‘You are, Soonyoung. You should’ve told me you don’t want to instead of acting out like this.’ The sudden change in the way the alpha called him caught him off guard. He could feel the temper in the way he talked and he didn’t like it. It made him nervous. Seokmin wasn’t screaming or anything but he could feel the dominance in that tone. Weakly, Soonyoung asked, ‘What is wrong with you?’

‘I want us to be mates! You want it too! I don’t want to bond without you not knowing what my family’s like!’ There it was, the angry tone. But it wasn’t a command. Seokmin was angry at him. However, instead of cowering away, it made Soonyoung a bit mad.

‘Are you kidding me? Mates? I don’t really know you well enough to want to bond with you right?’ He jerked his hand away from the alpha’s grip, shocking him. ‘How about telling me about who you really are first?’

Seokmin snapped away from his own feeling at the jerk, blinking a few times to bring himself back to their current situation. That voice, the strong question from the omega about his own identity puzzled him. He couldn’t think of any reason why Soonyoung would ask him that kind of question. ‘What do you mean?’

‘Daejeon? Omega house?’ Soonyoung crossed his hands trying to get every part of his body hidden from the male in front of him. He was really considering taking his bag and go right now, his inner self wanting so badly to avoid this confrontation but he couldn’t. He wanted to know the truth. This was killing him inside. ‘You think I wouldn’t figure it out? You ing lied to me Seokmin.’

‘That was… so long ago…I mean, you needed help an-‘

‘I didn’t need your help! I was weak and- and emotional but I could’ve handled it!’ The younger only stood there, trying to digest the reality that the lie, which he told two years back, that he thought were long forgotten and buried, was uncovered by none other than Soonyoung himself. ‘It was humiliating but I could’ve handled it myself…’

‘Soonyoung-ah, it wasn’t what you think. I- I didn’t… god.’ He still couldn’t believe this was happening to him. Everything made sense back then but now, nothing did. He couldn’t explain himself, his actions back then. He thought he had a good enough reason but it turned out, he didn’t. ‘I didn’t plan the tri-‘

‘-to sleep with me?’

‘No! I only wanted to get to know you!’

‘By bringing me in the middle of the woods and lie to me about the place I can-‘

‘I didn’t think you’ll get your heat! You think I know when it was?? I’m not a stalker!’

‘Are you? A stalker?’

‘...what?’ Seokmin found himself out of breath, trying to explain himself. How the hell did he get himself into this mess? Stalker? How in the world-

‘You knew where I dance, you knew my real name. I never told you that. What else? Shinee?’ Soonyoung was backing away from him, slowly. That action made Seokmin frown, he knew the other was afraid of him. But instead of giving him space, the alpha felt the need to move forward, to catch the other in case he decided to run. Because somehow he knew, once Soonyoung walk out that door, they would be over. ‘Owh yeah. My workplace. You knew that too. Finding out about my heat’s not so hard right?’

‘Soonyoung-ah. It’s not like that. I was at Shining Diamond when you danced so I-. You were wearing Shinee T-shirt! I’m not a stalker! What are you-?’

‘You expect me to believe that? First, you lied to me about where you lived. Then I found out that you lied about the omega house.’ Soonyoung suddenly laughed at a realization, ‘God, I’m so dumb. That’s right. You lied about where you live cus you wanted me to go to the concert right? What el-‘

‘Nothing! I di-‘

‘The first thing you ever told me about your personal life turns out to be a lie, Seokmin! How do you expect me to believe anything else you said after all that-‘

‘It’s not a lie!’ Seokmin grabbed the distressed omega before,

‘I DON’T BELIEVE YOU!’ Soonyoung screamed, the sound echoing in the studio. Both the males froze in shock at the loud voice. Particularly, at how expressive the omega was. The only time the man would scream would be out of excitement. But that, just now, was out of anger. And Soonyoung never get this angry. He would always cry out of frustration, never anger.

Seokmin gulped, trying to recompose himself. Looking at the other whose face was also that of shock, he tried to hold his hand, desperate to for a second chance if not to prove his innocence. But again, his hands were pushed away and this time, Soonyoung walked right pass him to get his bag and return towards the door. ‘Soonyoung, are we over…?

‘I need some time to think.’

‘We’re over…’

‘Stop talking Seokmin.’

‘I’m sorry…’ His voice were barely audible as the omega walked through the door and slammed it closed, leaving Seokmin staring at his feet, still in a state of shock.

*****

Knock knock. The soft sound coming from outside his room followed by his mother’s cheerful voice telling him to come down for lunch forced Seokmin to get out of bed. His room was a mess, his phone out of battery, his clothes unchanged since yesterday… everything about him spelled ‘heartbroken’.

Sighing, Seokmin brought out a new set of clothing to change into and proceeded to take a shower. He didn’t want his mother to ask all those crazy, curious questions to him he knew she would. It was obvious from her face that she had been itching to do so since seeing him walking into the house on a school night yesterday. One last check in the mirror, noting the red eyes, Seokmin again let out a deep breath before making his way downstairs.

‘Your favourite food. I didn’t have time to buy crabs. Omo, you should tell me when you’re coming home.’ Mrs. Lee urged him to sit and proceeded to put various side dished onto his bowl. Without a word, only a soft smile, the son started to eat, dreading the time the mother will start her investigation. And without a word, she continued to put in more food into his bowl when she noticed they were gone. And to his surprise, she spoke nothing about his condition throughout the meal. ‘You’re not eating?’

‘Ate while making those.’ She laughed her weird laugh, ‘probably filled with my delicious sal-‘

‘Eww eomma! Stop!’ He cringed, earning him another loud laugh, infecting him as he found himself smiling, thankful that she didn’t say anything despite knowing how hard it is for her to keep shut. ‘You’re eating well? Tell me if you want anything. I’ll send them to you my swee-‘

‘Eomma, I’m 21.’ He reminded her of his age, hopefully to stop her babying him which in return, she mocked. It annoyed him as he sighed loudly to pretend to rebel, just for laughs, but as soon as the tension died down, and she started to gently place her hand on his cheek, he realized how much he wanted to cry. He knew his mother couldn’t fix anything, but he just wanted to tell her.

To his surprise, his mother kept quiet throughout. He could sense her disappointment in him when he mentioned what he did, but she never once interrupted nor made faces like she always do. Growing up in this house, Seokmin never knew how good of a listener his mother is. Because like his friends, she is the loud type, always craving for attention. And to see this part of her, how she was instead, giving her full attention to him and keeping silent, was nothing less than surprising. Making him even more grateful for having her as his mother.

Soonyoung was like this. Except he only get loud in front of certain people instead of everyone. People he was comfortable being with. And Seokmin was one of them. More than just one of them.

He was special to Soonyoung.

Unlike all his friends who treats him as just ‘Dokyeom’, not caring about his real self, Soonyoung made him feel special. Not by his words or special actions. Soonyoung made him fell special by being comfortable around him. By showing him every sides of him, the bright and the dark, the crazy and the calm. By caring about him and his thoughts, and not brushing his problems off like it never mattered.

But he screwed up. He lied to Soonyoung.

He didn’t deserve the man.

*****

‘Soonyoung,’ The said man turned his attention towards the older omega, inviting him into his room just as he was leaving Wonwoo’s. ‘Let’s talk.’

Though reluctant, still not in a friendly term with the man, Soonyoung complied and got inside, looking around the familiar looking room. The interior was almost the same as to when Jeonghan was his neighbor, with a few changes, and Soonyoung couldn’t help but feel a bit nostalgic, thinking about the time when everything was going so smoothly for everyone. The time when things were much more simple. The time when everything was just straightforward.

He could sense the tension in the air, just by looking at Jeonghan’s face. The latter was thinking hard on how to start speaking what was on his mind, and Soonyoung knew it was not pretty. ‘I need you to leave Wonu alone.’

‘What?’ He knew this had something to do with the male in the other room, but he was definitely not expecting to be warned to stay away. At least, not straight into his face, without any reason. But, ignoring how rude it was said to him, Soonyoung would not comply to that request because right now, that man was the only one he have left. The only one he can trust despite being a mess. Because right now, even from back then, Wonwoo was the only person who never lied to him, and accepted him the way he was without any hidden agenda.

‘I’m glad you’re helping him recover but I’m not letting you drag him into a sick relationship.’

‘It’s none of your business.’ He didn’t know where that came from but Soonyoung was tired of saying yes. Despite the misunderstanding from Wonwoo’s part, they were not doing anything bad. They only watched movies and eat together, sometimes spending time talking, just like any friends would. So Jeonghan telling him off like this meant telling him not to be friends with Wonwoo and to that Soonyoung said to mind his own business. ‘He obviously don’t think you’re just friends.’

‘So he thinks all his close friends are his lovers? Is that what you’re saying?’

‘You know exactly what I’m saying.’ Jeonghan seemed more firm in his warning, staring the younger one hard. That action did shake the latter slightly, but he still stood his ground. ‘Someone told him it was okay for omegas to date and it’s not me. It’s not his friends.’

‘Wh-‘

‘Don’t ing tell me you don’t know about it because the only person with that kind of experience here is you. And yeah, I’m using it against you right now. Surprise.’ Jeonghan seemed to be having a really hard time keeping his cool, slamming his hand against the table, shocking Soonyoung. Not only because of the loud sound from the impact, but also due to the fact that the older knew about his family. He didn’t remember telling him about it, and he knew Wonwoo wouldn’t. So that meant…

‘Come on Soonyoung, don’t try to act surprised. You told me yourself when we drank together a few years back.’

‘…and you think it’s all right to accuse me of dragging Wonu with my secret?’

‘God.’ The older rubbed his face before scratching his head, obviously feeling very uneasy. ‘We’re all adults here, okay? Stop acting all innocent and grow up. I’m not letting you ruin him just because of your ing problem with Dokyeom. Get your together and stay away from Wonu.’

‘Gosh you kids are ing problematic! I’m not your ing mom! Why shou- Like you’re the only one with problem! GOD!‘ Sensing the instability of the older omega who was now walking in circles cussing, Soonyoung backed away slowly until he reached the door and ran back to his room, taking deep breaths to calm himself. It was not the warning that broke him, it was what he saw in front of him. The way Jeonghan acted reminded him of his mentally ill mother back when he was young, how Jeonghan was muttering to himself about the other despite Soonyoung standing there with him, and the sudden change in character frightened him. The older omega, despite his wild image, had always been a happy person, helping those around him, though with a price sometimes. Though the man was no saint, the worse he had seen of Jeonghan would be him getting fed up with things and sulk, nothing too severe but just now, that scene was a whole level of distress. Almost borderline crazy. He knew the older needed medication sometimes to control his breakdowns, everyone knew since he wrote it in his book, but this was very new.

Still on the floor, eyes wide, Soonyoung finally gulped to wet his throat, closing his eyes to calm down.

Things had been really hectic for him these days. Everything was wrong. From Wonwoo re-appearing out of nowhere as an omega, to Seokmin’s lies, to Jeonghan acting like a madman, his personal life was becoming too complicated. Why is everything so complicated for him? His family, his relationship, it was as if he was cursed.

He used to think being ignored by a whole village was the worse, but that was way better than the feeling he had right now. Back then, as long as he didn’t talk to other people, it wouldn’t matter. Right now, he had to avoid the two men he trusted the most. Moreover, despite how hellish his hometown felt like, he always knew he was safe at home. His grandparents always protected him from the bad people. Right now, the one person he thought would protect him betrayed him. And another needed protection which he couldn’t give. And Soonyoung himself, had no one else to lean on but himself. And he was not doing a good job at that. And that feeling . No, it was worse. He never felt so helpless in his life.

He used to be so good at protecting himself. He used to be an expert on building walls. Since when did he forgot to do so?

The room was already bright when Soonyoung realized the time. Looking at the clock, still wanting to check for the time which indicated it was 10 in the morning, he wiped his face and laid on the bed. He couldn’t sleep a wink last night but it was not as if he had been spending the whole night thinking about his problems. Everything was blank. He just couldn’t sleep. It was as if he tried to close his eyes and without sleeping, it was already morning. And he already missed his first class.

Maybe, skipping today might not be a bad idea. His body was still tired, and his mind, even more. He would accomplish nothing going into class in this condition. He would just have to lie about catching a cold or something. Surely his lecturer would believe him considering his effort all this while.

Forcing himself to sleep, Soonyoung pushed the blanket off the bed, spreading all his limbs to cool himself. Maybe freezing himself to sleep would help. It didn’t though, and came afternoon, Soonyoung decided he needed to take a break from campus. Packing only the necessary items which was his charger and laptop, he walked towards the bus station, heading back to his grandparents.

He needed to get away from all of this.

He needed to breathe.

*****

After what felt like months, Seokmin was finally cheerful enough to talk to his friends again, at least, on Facebook and through messages. Taking his mother’s advice, he took some time off to cool down – a few days – and spent his whole day talking to his family, entertaining his grandmother, basically, going back to when he was a child with nothing to worry about.

Looking at the dozens of messages from his friends, mostly asking him for help with their homeworks and some asking him to hang out, he took a deep breath before typing in his usual answers. He wondered if he should just skip on a few unimportant ones, scrolling down until he saw a familiar looking icon, and name. It was from Jeonghan, Seungcheol’s mate, and a very dear senior to him. They kept in touch after the orientation, mostly with the older always asking him if he was doing good in school, and him laughing it off, telling the omega to stop treating him like a baby.

The last message he could see from the review panel told him to ignore the messages above, and the man saying sorry. It was dated sometime last week so he wondered if he should actually just ignore it and write another automatic response. But then again, he felt like there was no reason why Jeonghan, out of all the people, would apologize to him. Curious as to what that reason was, Seokmin scrolled up the chat, noting the long messages, until he reached the first ones.

‘Owh no…’

To be continued…

Phew! That was so much drama in a chapter! Who would’ve thought their relationship would actually reach this kind of situation right?

FYI, Jeonghan’s not a guys!! Don’t hate him! He has his own issues, and he’s also on medication like Wonu, and he’s a fourth year student thinking about graduation. To top it all off, he has to take care of Wonu, who is actually pretty stubborn. It’s only normal that people reach their limit and have some kind of breakdown whether it’s crying or acting crazy. Some people can control themselves, some people can’t. As long as you’re not hurting anyone or yourselves, I think it’s okay to have a breakdown once in a while, if that makes you feel better after ^^

Also, I’m just wondering, if the same thing happened to you guys, what would be your reaction? If I was lied to like Hoshi, I would definitely break it off (sorry DK). But if I was DK, I would probably spam Hoshi with messages, acting all crazy to prove myself (I’m creepy like that XD)

Anyways, thank you for reading and commenting on this fic guys!!! I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH!! <3<3