"  Feels like nobody ever love me.. Until You love me "

"wait...please..."

Mark hold on tight on Jinyoung's arm so that the younger won't step further out from the store and disappear again. Mark look at Jinyoungs back that he knows who the person in front of him is. 

Even though with that cover up! No one I mean NO one ever called Mark with the name Hyung unless it's Jinyoung. On that exact moment when Jinyoung open his mouth and slip the words Hyung, all memories are all awaken up. 

" Where are you going? "

Mark ask gently for Jinyoung to hear him. He continued to say

" This isn't a dream right? You really return back? "

Mark ask all the possible question that went on his mind about the person he's holding right now. But Jinyoung didn't give a single glace back towards the person. Instead, he yanked his hang away from Marks hold and said

" I don't know who's this Jinyoung you've been asking about. You must thought me with somebody else. I'm sorry "

Jinyoung hugged tight the paper bag on his hand and took it towards his chest when his mind told him to bolt out as fast as he could. But Mark being so persistent that he believe that this person is the person his been looking for this whole year. Instead from holding on Jinyoung arms once again, he bang his hand on the door for Jinyoung to stop moving forwards. 

" what do you mean you're not Jinyoung? "

Mark look at Jinyoung up and down. Jinyoung could only lower his head from the person who's standing beside him on the left. 

" Take this off... "

Mark said and done what he said. He pulled the beanie off Jinyoung's head. Jinyoung felt that his cover up been tore away. He react quickly to hold on to it making his food to drop on the floor. Jinyoung was too slow since he's hand are both holding the paper bags and when he's going to grasp the pulling beanie off his head, Mark already pulled it away first Making half of Jinyoung features slowly to be reveal. Jinyoung turn around and look at Mark with his beanie on the older hand.

" Give me back my beanie!!! " 

Said Jinyoung doesn't want to further any conversation but only interested with his beanie. 

" And This!!! "

Said Mark again when he's looking at the other cover up which is the huge glasses on Jinyoungs face. He pulled it away more likely harsh making it to fly a few feet away from them. 

Jinyoung feeling being humiliate but Mark sees a memory.

"Jinyoung?!..... "

Mark sigh and continued 

" I don't know what to say anymore but I'm glad to see you again.. I missed you so much.. "

' He missed me ' 

Jinyoung told himself that. 

Mark was going to touch Jinyoung's cheek foe Jinyoung to not look down but to stare him in the eyes but Jinyoung lash out too quick that it's not him who's talking but his feeling. 

" Don't ing touch me!!! " 

Jinyoung said with gritted teeth prepare to snarls anytime when provoke. But this is not a provoking, this is an emotional limits. Mark stop what he's going to do when he heard what Jinyoung said. 

All his years with Jinyoung so many years ago, he never heard him curse like that. It seems what attitude had he done that previous years had impact on Jinyoung. Jinyoung change now. Not that innocent Jinyoung anymore. 

Mark still insisted that Jinyoung is still that Jinyoung what he be with before. He try to persuade him with Words..

" Jinyoung... I-I'm sorry for what I have done towards you before. I-... "

Marks words was been cut when Jinyoung raise his hand up in the air for Mark to stop talking. He look at Mark dead in the eyes and said

" No!  I don't believe in your sorry again Mark. Enough! This is not any negotiations for us to reconcile once again. I am here is not for you to latch on me again. I am here to set things right. Were nothing Mark. I only ask for you to return back to where you belong. Stop torturing yourself and regret on what have you done previously. Tell papa that it's not your fault. It is mine. Tell him that I'm asking for him to take you back not because of the way you act before but as a peace between us. I will never be back. I have a complete life out there. I don't what to stuck in this drama for so many years to come. For your future and for mine. Stop! Return back home and do what you want to do that's your life. That's all what I'm going to say.. " 

Jinyoung stop talking and move his eyes towards his food and his accessories that been scattered on the floor. He kneel down and gather them all. 

Mark stood still and saw Jinyoung gather all his stuff. 

" Get up! "

He said when he felt a tears is going to flow out from his eyes. 

He did regret what he had  done, Yes! 

He misses Jinyoung for all this years, Yes! 

But when he hears what the words that coming from Jinyoung's mouth about their last words to ever meet again was like a slap in the face. Mark is alone! He don't want that. He throw everything, that's why he is here. In This very shop, working.

Mark is all alone now.. 

Jinyoung stood up when he gather all his stuff. He look at the person staring at him didn't utter any more words except the once he ignore just now. ' Get up! '

Jinyoung look at Mark and sigh. He didn't want to get angry Just because of this. It's not worth it. With words is the only way. Both of them stared at it each other. For Jinyoung he felt he complete his reason to return bit for Mark, his world is shattering. 

The cycle is turning and karma is biting. It's Mark turn now to suffer and feel what does Jinyoung felt many, many years ago. But Mark is different from Jinyoung. Even though he will face the same position as Jinyoung. There is something that Jinyoung never done before. Which is to fight for his love life. Mark will fight. 

He is not done with Jinyoung. He can't let the person who change him during university years slip away like what he did. Mark will fight and he will fight with all his might. 

Jinyoung was going to turn away towards the door and gone home but another words strike his senses down so does his feet stop. 

" what about Michelle?.. "

Jinyoung eyes widen open when he heard that Mark mention about their daughter. Jinyoung felt the beating heart on his chest. Jinyoung tried to calm himself down and said what inside his mind about Michelle. 

" You have no right to mention that name.. " 

Jinyoung said coldly. 

Mark stood there looking at Jinyoung's back while noticing the tense on the younger shoulder. This is his only way. To make Jinyoung to reconsider once again with words. If they not going back together. At least let the child they made recognise her own father. 

" I have right to said that. She's mine right! I am as his father. I have right to meet her. "

Mark said with full of hope and confident that Jinyoung would think that Mark does care about their child well being. 

But for Jinyoung hearing that Mark saying he has the right to do so was like a razor cutting your skin. Painful to think about it. Mark doesn't have that right but still Mark saying that. Jinyoung turn his body around with an angry face, heavy breathe and his bleeding heart. 

" You said something that you think its an easy thing to do. When I said you have no right. I mean it. Do you even care when I'm on the state of pregnancy before. HUH!  MARK!  ARE YOU AROUND WHEN I CARRYING YOUR CHILD FOR 3 MONTHS?  DO YOU YOU EVEN ASK HOW'S MY LIFE BEING WHEN YOU WERE AWAY? NO!! YOU NEVER DID THAT!  WHY BECAUSE YOU NEVER WANTING TO KNOW AND NEVER WANTING TO ASK! DO YOU EVEN REMEMBER THAT NIGHT! ON WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TOWARDS ME!  OF COURSE YOU NEVER KNOW BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO INTERESTED IN. EVEN THOUGH ITS A MISTAKE BUT I LOVE HER ENDLESSLY. I TOOK CARE OF HER PERFECTLY WITHOUT YOUR HELP. DO YOU THINK YOU HAVE THAT RIGHT TO BE HIS FATHER. I'LL MAKE SURE SHE DIDNT EVEN RECOGNISE HER OWN FATHER BECAUSE THATS WHAT YOU DESERVE. SHE HAS ME SHE WILL ALWAYS HAS ME... never any words I will mention about you... "

With that words end, Jinyoung rush out from the store with a heavy heart and flowing tears down his cheeks. He left the past behind. 

~•~

Jinyoung walked down the busy sidewalk, while wiping the tears flowing down his cheeks. When Jinyoung stop at the side walk in front of the crossing line waiting for the pedestrian light to signals the walkers to crossing the road. Jinyoung wait for the light to turn green when his mind took him back to where the most heartbreaking things he ever done. He shout his heart out to Mark. If that words didn't give any impact to Mark, then Mark is a heartless person. 

When the light turn green, all for people started to crossing the road for that short period of time. 20 seconds for crossing a road. Thats nonsense. But Jinyoung walk with the other people when his pace becoming slower and slower as he drown deep in his mind. 

When a honk almost scared him to death bring him back to his sense. 

" ARE YOU STUPID!!!  WALK FASTER... "

Jinyoung turn his head to the right and saw a BMW car in front of him that he's blocking the road because of his deep thoughts. Jinyoung saw a lady with a golden hair poke her head out from the car window and shouting at him to move faster. Jinyoung feel embarrass and quickly turn away and walk faster without turning back. 

He walk down the street with people passing by him going north or south according to where their destination takes Them. When Jinyoung reach the building to his apartment, his hand brush with the handle when someone calling his name. 

" Jinyoung wait!! "

It's not a familiar voice but the wag this person calling his name like this person knows Jinyoung for so many years. Like how friend would called you. 

Jinyoung turn his head to his back to see who's calling him just now. He saw the same BMW car just now. The owner who shouted at him was now parking infront of the building. 

' Eh!  '

He thought. 

" Jinyoung-shi!  " 

Someone said and Jinyoung turn his head left to right trying to find who's been calling him. The voice was belong to a lady. Jinyoung notice the person when the lady open her car door and called Jinyoungs name once again. Jinyoung does notice it and walk down the stairs going forwards to the lady. He ask 

" Yes!  Sorry but do I done something wrong? "

Jinyoung ask worries in his system since this is the lady who's been shouting at him when he's crossing the road just now. He was determine that he told himself that he must have down something that he dint even remember. So,  he prepared to impress what's going to happen. 

" No! You don't nothing wrong! "

' what! '

" and yes, I do know you! "

' WHAT!!  '

Jinyoung nervously laugh and said,  " Hahahaha, " while scratching his head " Sorry, but did we met before.. I assure that I did meet you before but where that I don't remember. " Jinyoung tried to me friendly even though he doesn't know the strenger. 

The lady laugh back and said " Of course we did meet before Jinyoung but not face to face, from the bleacher and from the fields gate.. "

' EH! What is she talking about ' Jinyoung said in his mind. 

" I'm sorry, I never recall any bleacher and fields gate? "

' please not the person that I remember correctly..'

Jinyoung prayed that this person is not what he think. Even though he lied on the outside that he doesn't know this stranger but from the inside, his memory is still fresh from that day happen. 

" I'm sorry then. Would you prefer JYP university ring any bell? "

'No please don't.. "

" No, I don't remember you back at JYP!.."

" then I should said my name then.. "

' God!  Please no! I had enough about this... '

" I'm Natalie..."

~•~

' This is awkward... ' 

Jinyoung told himself that he is now sitting in front of Natalie inside a restaurant. He did remember saying 

" I'm sorry! I had something else to do.. "

when Natalie ask Jinyoung to follow her somewhere to talk but Jinyoung insisted that he had something to do. Bit when the blue box was mention, here he is now. Eating his foot long burger and the strawberry drinks. 

There's a silence between them which is awkwardness radiate out from Jinyoung body. The air was so thin that Jinyoung could throw up in another minutes if no one starting conversation between them. Jinyoung starting to munch on his food as his eyes roam the inside of the restaurant. Every restaurant has their own policy of no food and drinks outside but he is eating his foot long right now. 

He doesn't give a DAMN!!! 

it's not that he doesn't care about the policy, it just that he don't want to be indebted with Natalie. Since she offer Jinyoung to buy some food on behalf of her treat. Jinyoung said NO quickly and prefer his foot long. 

He doesn't know if he could eat all of this. 

" So Jinyoung, How is life treating you this whole years? "

Not to be rude but Jinyoung spoke honestly. 

" Not so much! Many things had happen. Had to deal with it.. "

Natalie nodded get head in agreement. She continued to say

" Sorry about all of this! With the sudden gift and all had happen years back! Really, I apologies deeply.. "

Jinyoung heard what she said and she nod his hand in understanding. He reply back

" No no it's not your fault. It just, you have rights you know. Mark, relationship and stuff... "

Jinyoung deeply doesn't want any conversation anymore. But, this is like a coincidence that he met the lady who terrorising the who house thing. Maybe just maybe Jinyoung could know something that he doesn't know and tried to persuade Natalie to go back with Mark!! 

" Ah! Speaking about Mark. How is he? Is he alright? "

" he's fine! A little bit skinny and he shave his head, working at subway now. So... " Jinyoung blew out the heavy breathe out from his chest and continued " I don't know what's going on in his life right now! "

Jinyoung shrugged his shoulder. 

Natalie grew quiet and only hear the words from Jinyoung. She didn't said anything back but to only receiving words not giving words. 

Jinyoung notice it and saw the staring from Natalie eyes. He look away as his mind talk to himself. 

' Ask her!  ' 

' it's your opportunity, ask her.. '

Jinyoung commit his defeat and turn his head back so fast that he could snap his neck and ask Natalie. 

" so,  how's your relationship with Mark? "

Natalie showed a different facial expression when the mention named Mark been arise. 

Natalie move her hand and grasp the glass of orange juice on the table and sip it. When she done, she reply back. 

" umm... Not that good actually. Since Mark lost his job at the company he started change a little bit. That kinda complicated.."

" So, that's why you run away? "

' Jinyoung watch your mouth! '

Jinyoung scolded himself. 

" What! HAHAHAHAHA "

' Eh!  Why is she laughing.. ' Jinyoung ask himself when he sees Natalie started to laugh like a maniac! Isn't it true? 

" Hmm rumours, always making a bad named about me! Think about it. If I run away, why would I be here? Giving you boxes of Mark where about. If I did run away I would be somewhere else in the world. Playing golf and stuff. "

Natalie sigh and continued her part of the stories 

" I never run away from Mark, I love him. But the question is did he love me? What you heard from my past, all is true but some are not so true. I never make Mark to go wild during high school. That's his decision. I always be there to guide and to be on his side when he is down. I, never in my whole life causing an unwanted disaster which lead all pointing finger at me. Saying I was that Mastermind to brainwash Marks mind. I once had an unhappy childhood experience. By meeting him during high school was like a dream that he fulfil me. Give me everything that I never ask. My feeling started to grew towards him making me wanting to love him. I love Mark so much that I can't erase him out of my mind. He give a huge impact to me. "

Natalie started to sob when she tried to tell Jinyoung about the life she's been through. Jinyoung slide the tissue box to Natalie and Natalie said her thanks to Jinyoung and pull a few piece out and rub her eyes. 

" When he heard that his father going to retire. He told me he's going to quiting school that he want to represent to his father that he is ready when he is still young. I support his decision and he told me that he wants me to work with him during that day he wanted to tell his father about him being ready and me. I was there when he shouted at Mark saying that I was the one had cause all of this. He tried to separate us by sending him away from here from me. So I did the same. I run and start a career by my own from scratch. I work at a tailor shop since I was still 17. I don't have any basic skills they hired me is all because of my great at sewing. All the years gone by, we talked through the phone saying about our well being and when are we going to meet each other in the future. But when I heard his last stop at Korea, there's an open job that recruiting a junior designer for future career. I join that and as months gone by and I getting all busy up I can't constantly called or texted Mark any more. I told him that our relationships would be over. But he can't except the truth. He started to get angry and snarl at me. He insisted on wanting me. So I made a fake picture and posted it online that I'm going out with other guy. I think Jackson notice that. I don't know if he told Mark or not that Mark never contacting me again. I called Jackson on that day and ask him if Mark is okay, but when I heard he started to study hard it's kinda weird to hear that since he only knows to go outside and party around.. "

Natalie smile and look at Jinyoung. She raise her eyebrows for Jinyoung to notice and he did making him to turn away again. 

He remember Mark started to study hard when he been dispelled from the University. 

" It seems that someone had change Mark's mind. So I'm okay with it. As the years gone by and I heard that he's going to graduate and I took my time to considered to fly there to Korean maybe to congratulate him. When I reach the university late, I entered the only way that I notice and there is where I saw him sitting on the bleacher. I'm sorry I didn't know you were there. Because his figure covered your figure from where I was standing. I look at you when I called Marks named and I feel bad that I felt like I made a mistake to called Marks named. I saw you walk away when he started to embracing me and kiss me. I was shocked. I thought that we already over. He took me back to LA we spend together again and he propose to me. I wanted to reject since I know this will lead to something different that will turn south. But he, insisted me to stayed and to be with him. Soon or later, The father heard about us being together and he warn me to stayed away. And I did for the second time. I don't know how he started to turn to you. Hearing him proposed to you make me shock. I don't know what his intentions are but as time stretch out he's becoming more desperate lately. now, my question will turn to you Jinyoung shi. I'm not a bad person. I know what is wrong and what is right. The limit that i learn, I try to stay away. Now it's your turn to tell me what's going on? "

Jinyoung bite bus lips when Natalie pointing the question to him. It's so hard to remember as Jinyoung already buried all of that story deep down away from it to resurfing once again. But now, it's been called once again. Weather he likes it or not, sharing has the power to healing the mind from stress and burden. Jinyoung decide to talk his side of the story. 

" Truth is, I don't know. I confess to him that I have feeling towards him and yet I don't know he has a girlfriend. He disappear for 3 years and started to move on. I knew he still love you the way he embracing you on that day. But I never though he would return back to me. All I know he's doing this is because of the company. He made a deal with my family of to spread the company name but not my family business named. He done that all because of you Natalie. He still loves you. He only used me for his precious company. So I ended to engagement and run away.."

" But why? "

" What do you mean Why? He hurt me. I'm a human not a robot that could easily played and tossed away when corrupted. I made a decision to start brand new out from everything. But I was wrong. Trouble find me once again.."

" Jinyoung don't be blind! That's not trouble, that's destiny. Are perfect fit together. "

But Jinyoung still hold on to his words that they are not fit together. He respond back. 

" You don't understand Natalie. Mark loves you and will always love you. I'm just his "mistress". I only get on your way. I give this chance back to both of you to started love again and not to be afraid. You're an adult now. Your decision is on your hand.. "

" Yes! The decision is on our hand, but I am nothing to him Jinyoung. I learn that, if I still stayed on the pictured it will only caused trouble. You didn't know what happen to Mark when you broke the engagement. He quit working at the company. His father didn't kick him out. Raymond was so disappointed at him and Mark makes a decision to leave the company behind. He lost something that I don't want to ask. Yet, I know what the thing he lost about. I have a career that I need to sharpen up every time. I can't stop for a while and find love. It's not my time yet. My feeling for Mark had long gone when I broke the relationship with him. Long distance relationship is hard. I don't trust the person I love going somewhere I don't know and start life there and again I don't know what he's doing there but to hear from him only by texting and calling. I want him to enjoyed life and find someone else. You Jinyoung. He has something that he lost. Michelle! She needs a complete family and yet you push the pictured of her father away. I made all of this is for you to be together again. if you still have doubts, all you have to do is knocked this door... "

Natalie scribble something onto the piece of tissue with the pen he took out from her bag. Once she is done, she slide the tissue towards Jinyoung to see. 

" 0-3-31 " 

.......