" wasn't looking for someone... yeah... Until You "

The sound of thundering, clash with the roof of the building. the radio spoke a women voice came out for an announcement. the large display screen showned miltiple city and country name divided by diffrent row column and time. jinyoung head reach and stared at the screen searching for his destination where he should go. when he found his destination, he lower his head down and look at his ticket.

" 2 more hours " he said reminding himself that.Jinyoung hand grip tightly on his luggage handle bar that his knuckle almost turn white. His nervousnes suddenly seep into his system. his cold sweat slide down his forehead and cheeks. Jinyound doesnt know which ghost had possessed him to go when his mind told him to not go. Maybe this opportunity was the right moment for him to correct his mistake. Running away from his problems was not the answer. he want to run foward not backwards. this is a sign for him to accomplish something good. he always accomplish something good not bad.

" Do you have to go? ' 

A very familiar voice came from his back. Jinyounf turn his head back and saw Jackson was standing a few feet away from him.Jinyiung spun in his heels and walk towards where Jackson was standing. Jinyoung approach him.

" You know i have to right " 

Said Jinyoung. Jackson face shown a disapprove look. Jinyoung frown at Jackson.

" I dont ask you to hear what i'm saying. Im asking you to do this on behalf of you daughter Michelle."

Upon hearing what Jackson had said. Jinyoung divert his eyes away from jackson and lower them towards the crying child in between jackson arm, The sobbing sound makes jinyoung heart beats faster and broke at the same time. He hastes looking at his daughter crying. Jinyoung lower his head down at the same level as Michelle. He try to suppress the sadness in his emotion and replace them with a smile. a comfort one.

" Hey Honey...dont cry. Omma not going that long. I'll be back in just 3 days. i promise.."

But what Jinyoung thought her respond was a nod or OK! but what she said brokes him more..

" NO!!! stay.. Michelle wants omma to stay.. FOREVER!! "

JInyoung lost of words hearing what she said. Michelle is 4 years old. Ofcourse she don't undertsand the situation But for a 4 year old kid. They needs the conection with their parents. Their brains will tell them that their parents will leave them. Jinyoung never once thought wanting to leave the child he carried for 7 months from the person he hates the most. No matter how he hates the father, He still love her father. why?... Thats becuase Michelle's father is his first love. First kiss and First sweet disaster... 

Jinyoung turn his head upwords and look at the ceiling. he felt a single tears fell down his cheeks. His emotion was totally consume by heartbroke. for all the years he's been through. Heartbroke is his greates weakness. Jinyoung look at the ceiling for purpose. he want to find the correct answer. Once words started to flow in his head he turn them down and look back at his sweetheart..

Jinyoung lift his hand up and caress Michelle cheeks. His thumb brush the tears away from his ckeeks and said 

" Don't cry. Omma will be back.Trust in Omma okay. i promised. You know promised should not been broken right? "

Michelle nod her head 

Jinyoung smile and continued " Than believe in Omma will be back in 3 days. beside Jackson appa is here. He will take a good care of you. Once I'm back i'll give a present for you or Omma will always called you no matter where i've been. so that you will always here me and not missed me " 

Jinyoung lower his head and press it gently with Michelle. He lift his hand and clasp his hand with Michelle small hand. He rub the small hand in between his hands for a sence of confort. Then Jinyoung point out his pinky finger to Michelle. Michelle look at the figure. She understand as she done the same thing as well. both their pinky interwind. There's so much hidden message in that 5 second moments. The only person who could understand that message was between the mother and daughter.. Even though Jinyoung is a man, he try to give the full manly figure to Michelle but Michelle already deside. Jinyoung is her Omma..

The intercome ring up and the lady behind the speaker spoke that the plan is going to bording in just few minutes. Jinyoung heard the intercome. He pulled away after he gives a kiss to Michelle on her forehead. He turn in his hill and walk towards the entrace to International Departure Hall. before he could step his foot inside the section where people queue up he turn his head towards the two people he took care. Boarding pass and his passport on his left hand and his other hand grip tightly on his luggage handle.He saw the two figure standing a few feets away from him waving their hands towards him. Jinyoung could only smile in return but insde he was fighting with his emotion once again. He then turn back infront and there he was ready to fly far away from his third home...

" Good morning everyone.. This your head of flight attendant speaking. In a few minutes the plane will be arrive in Los Angeles International Airport. Any unconviniences we all apologise on behalf of the late arrival. If requesting any help, please do consult the ground stuff upon arriving. Once again we on behalf of the XXXXXX flight we apologise once again for any unconviniences.. We wish all of you to have a pleasant day anf journey in Los Angeles... "

Jinyoung stir in his sleep when he felt a pair of hand touching his shoulder while shaking him gently and called him " Sir.... Sir......." JInyoung heard what the head of attendent said. He woke up before the flight attendent going to announce the news. Its just he's lazy... So he try to regain back the sleepiness back... but the other cabin crew disturb his sleeping..

Upon arriving at  Los Angeles International airport, The outside was still dark. Guess what would 3 am would look like. Weak and sleepy Jinyoung walk/ dragging hi luggage down the hallway towards Immigression checking and out he goes. When he finally out from the building. Jinyoung was lucky enough to find a taxi that could drive this late. H show the driver the exact location where the letter told him to go. The driver only nod his head and carried his luggage to the boots area. Jinyoung sitting at the backseat..

when the car hit the road. Jinyoung eyes look at the not too busy street. The streetlight reminds him of something... The memory of this place he once had floods his mind. Some scene would appeare without invitation suddenly played in his mind. Everytime the memory return Jinyoung could only lower his head and look at his hand ontop of his lap. Every road he had been drive on, the places he once enter nor visit, the direction he once knoews where it heading to was too much for him right now. He came here, to LA is not to remind himself where all hisnightmare started. He cme here is to set everything right. To set the term between the Tuans and the Parks. And to unite a family that once broken by him even though it's not hi fault.... 

Jinyoung could only think the possible way he could master to find the person where abouts and to end the misury that never ends.

Jinyoung was so coop up in his mind that he didn't notice the car is already stop at some location he do not know. the car was park near the side walk infront of a building. An apartment was what Jinyoung could think off. Its not fancy but its enough and cozy. 3.AM, what Jinyoung could do in 3. AM? He felt tired, he felt weak and his heart wont stop twisting in his ribcage when the memory emerge in his mind. All he need right now is to sleep. withiut any second thought, he payed the driver and said his thanks to him and the driver help him to take the luggage out from the boot and he entered the building. 4 level floor..

Jinyoung enter tthe door and greet with a stairs.. Jinyoung stop at the bottom of the stairs didn't proceed another step up. he Fundle with his pocket finding the keys and the letter he once kept. He pulled the letter out from where he kept it.. He look at where the number and was written on it. 

0-3-30

was written. Level 3 and his room number is 30. Jinyoung once he found where he should go, he took his step up the stairs going to third floor. When he reach the 3rd floor theres two section. The stairs was right on the middle and theres a hall where it leads to the left section and the right section..  Jinyoung only guess his way, he turn right way. Luck was indeed on his side, once he turn right, the door that been label with the number 30 was near the stairs.. Jinyoung thanks the heaven as his hand brush with the knob and the key..He heard someone groan at his back going to the same diection where Jinyoung was standing.. Goosebumps suddenly seep into his spine. Once Jinyoung manage to open the door, he step inside follow by his luggage. When he going to closed he door, Jinyoung from the corner of his eyes saw a very familar faces going pass throught the door. But Jinyoung quickle flip everything in his mind... He needs to sleep..

The apartments interior was not that terrible look like from the outside..

Full kitchen appliances on his left eventhought its in small space. On his right a room where he could find the bathroom... Going straight from the door tawards the vast space which the livingroom slash bedroom.. A studio room for one person.. Jinyoung could only set his eyes roam around the place. Once his eye stop at the bed, he drop everything down on the floor as his body collapse with the confortable sheets as he snuggle himself till the sun is arise...

Jinyoung vision was cover by something bright. He can see it through his closing eyelid.. Jinyoung furrow his eyebrow in frustration as his sleep was been invaded by something bright.. Jinyoung slowly open his eyes and look at the halp open curtain.. He saw the ray of light illuminate on the opposite building and maybe it reflevted back to his room.. Thats why he had this invader middle in his privacy... But thanks to this invader Jinyoung finally woke up.. As Jinyoung push himself up from his laying state, he notice something Just by the sound of it. The honking sound coming from the vehicle outside. All he could remember by staying at LA, the honking would be cause by a few things. 

1) People cause trouble

2) Traffic Jams

3) someone accidentaly push the honk button

4) Someone trying to get someone attention 

The possibility was in between the 4 option... So Jinyoung t

stood up and walk his way towards the window. From the third floor he look outside the window and saw the street was pack.. JInyoung doesn't know what does that mean. When he look and observe the situation, his analisis been print out.. First the light coming from the sun and the traffic Jams.. Then he look at his watch

" WHATTT!!!!! "

Jinyoung mind scream... 

5.30 p.m...

Jinyoung curse in his head.. 13 hours of sleeping... This cant possible happen...

Jinyoung was so shock...

Jinyoung didnt think another things to do but to face palm himself.. He totally waste an entire whole day of sleeping. He only had 2 days left. where on earth he could find Mark in Just 2 days.. 

Jinyoung soul just left his body as his body lump back on the bed..

5 minutes later.... Jinyoung compose himself back to life. He stood up once again and walk away from the bed into the washroom.He wash himself out from his bed state. After that, he walk back to the living room and open his luggage. He takes what he needs and ready to going out. Once he gets what he needed, he stood up and with his room key and out to the front door he goes. Once the door was shut from the outside Jinyoung spun in his hill and went downstairs.When his foot reach the bottom stairs, Jinyoung walk straight towards the main entrance. His face was brush with the wind when the door was open. Jinyoung step outside and went down a few step of stairs and ready to go somewhere he could find a convenient store... 

JInyoung took almost half an hour to walk nowhere particular direction. He doesnt have a clue at all. But, once he was lucky by randomly finding his room, he was lucky again to find a convinient store just accros the street. He look left and right as he ready and wait for no car to come by then he will walk accross..

He entered the store and buy a few things that could last for only 2 days. No that many things he could buy, Just a couple of instant tea or coffee, Juice and microwave food... Finally, after he payed up he walk back where he came from. The same direction he came..

Jinyoung reach the apartmen building the same time he's searching for the convenient store nearby, half an hour. So that mean he's been out before 7 o'clock. He entered the building while carrying the paper back in between his arm he step every steps the stair lead him up and up.. When he reach his floor, Jinyoung turn right and there his room is. Jinyoung stop infront of the door while his hand searching for the key in his pocket and the other balancing  his grocerries.. When he found the key, he's ready to unlock the door and open it. suddenly he stood stil and halt his pace. Jinyoung had a question look on his face. Going down where his feet been cover by shoes, he felt a bump right under his feet slash shoe. Jinyoung played with his feet and felt that bump. He look down and move his feet away from the thing he just step onto. when his feet been remove he saw a rusted, silver key. He bend down and crouch and the same time and picking up the key he's been step onto it. 

Jinyoung then decide to went inside. Closing the door, he put his gracerries on the countertops and he went towards the living room. He make an inspection towards the key he just found. Its not unusual to find a key so suddenly been drop infront of his door room. Coincidence, it could happen.

Jinyoung took a sit on the couch and rested his back on the back rest area. His finger were playing with the key. Turning them back and forth, What caught his eyes was the almost faded number/words been written on the key. It was almost faded makes it hard to look at it easily.

Jinyoung tilted his head left to right, trying to find the right angle to look at the number slash words. 

' odd! '

Is what he could master in his mind right now. But Jinyoung never gives up. he still set his eyes on the key.

If the key is his, it can't be. All he knows thet the key he only had is one.. Only one. 

It must be some sort of a clue... 

Now Jinyoung is playing detective..which he's bad at it...

Jinyoung work hard making an analysis about the key he found..

He found the right angle under the correct lighting, he saw something been write  with a letter ( o )

He squinted his eyes making a little bit of his vision clear..

" B "

He found out the third he assume was a B.. Jinyoung look again closely as he find the same words, B and finally the last one was so easy. Anyone could guess that. 

" I " 

Jinyoung said poudly...

When he going to to combine the words into sentence. He felt stupid right away. Someone must played prank with Him..

" OBBI!?....... Seriously!  " He said unbelievable..

" What is this.... OBBI-WAN KANOBI " 

Jinyoung made the conclusion to early. He push his back more likely harsh enough to making a people punch a wall that his back bump with the back rest area. Jinyoung felt all his energy was gone on something he take seriously and at the end it was all a joke.. But not for long when something bang on his head making him shot up... and look back at the key. The words or should i said numbers..

" 0-3-31 " 

Jinyoung voice out. Jinyoung raise his hand up in the air in defeat. Thats why playing detective is not his specialty. Jinyoung once again suspect the key for something else. Whats the occasion.

Looking Just by the number Jinyoung find ,is the key was supposed to be a home key. Then everything suddenlymake sence. Its not a clue or anything. Jinyoung suspect it must be his neighbour drop the key when he or she walk pass by his door. With all the exhaustion Jinyoung quickly stood up and walk out from his room towards the owner of the key which is just beside him. Right now Jinyoung is standing infront of the door. he raise his hand up in the air as his eyes stare at th pastel colour door. He wanted to knock but his gut tell him " Don't Knock or People will knock you back " 

When the sentence pop inside his head, he face palm himelf. since he step his foot here in LA, nothing is really normal happen to him. Something stupid will came out from his mind. Not Just stupid, the luck he had was a coincidence. Something is not right and Jinyoung can feel it. In his guts...

Jinyoung try again to knock as his hand were hanging midway going to knock. he want to knock but something keep on bugging him to not to knock. If you can say nervous. What could Jinyoung nervous for? Jinyoung, is going to get sick if he keep on going to have this defeat batteling with his emotion. He needs to confront every possible challenge. Like what he use to do 4 years ago. But that was far long time ago. 4 years is not a short time. There's so many thinhs you could do in 4 years. But still, todays Jinyoung had this feeling again. He will loose this battle.

Jinyoung took a deep breath as he blow them out, calming himself. He finally knock the door...

But, theres no answer..He knocked again for a couple times still there's no answer. Jinyoung assume that there's no one at home. So he made a decision to come again when the person who leave there return so that he could retun the keys. But his action immediately stop. He move his head a few inches to the left when the corner of his eyes find something. The door was not properly closed. Theres and inch gap between the door and the door frame.Jinyoung could see light pierce through the gap. Without hesitation, He slowly push the door open. Not that wide so that his head could only peak inside..

" Hello!? " 

He voice out his existence.. But theres no one answering.. 

" Hello anybody home!? "  

He try again but theres no one answering..

Jinyoung decide to enter but his foot stop before he could step over the door frame..

" what if someone accuse me of breaking and entering? "

" But i already knocked the door.." 

" What happen when someone died inside? "

" Then called 911 " 

" What happen when a cat lady started to chased with with a broom? " 

" That's not possible Jinyoung, you could run right? ... STOP IT.... NOW GO!!! "

Jinyoung blinked his eyes when he found out he's already inside someone place. He felt scared suddenly.. He's going to turn back around where he entered the place but thats not what he should do right now. His intention was to find the owner. If thats his purpose, then since theres no one around Jinyoung should turn back and leave as quick as possible..   

JINYOUNG POV

I felt wrong by doing this. i should't come here... this is a bad idea... I was going to turn around and leave this person home. When i walk down the small hallway towards the door, i stop! My eyes saw something that i saw a long time ago. It;s not possible but its real. I remember this so clearly. But it must be a coincidence that i could find something so damnly the same. I think im going insane.. This is not real... I touch the hanging fabrick that been coil on the DIY rack behind the door  and been arrage perfectly the same as what i remember. The tie that i saw was completly the same.

I remember the white one, i want to touch it so badly. I remember this. Its the time of my first prom. It was amazing.. 

Ah the other one the graduation ceremony. The black colour..

But, this one. I had to sigh looking at this dark velvet colour. The time where i remember where all chaos happens.

But, the last four took my heart away. My gift.. I remember those. The once he never open but he open it. The Dark blue necktie, his favourite but what suprise me was the pin thet been pin on the tie was the pin i design by myself. The gold J pin with a ruby as and Eye on the middle. I smile remember those nonsense. Its not real. Im going sick, thats why i'm seing stuff that i should not seen. I think i should go out now but i can't. There this smell i that always makes go attach to him. it coming from the bathroom.. I turn my head and went towards the bathroom.. I step my foot on the cold tile once i switch the light. I say on the vanity was filled with accesories like brush, earing, watch and stuff but the bottle of Dolce & Gabbana.. 

Why is this person had the same things Mark once had.. I'm so confused right now. Who is this person? 

i stomp out from the bathroom after i closed the light, i went straight towards the bed and living room. I try to find something else to find about what does this person had other that the once Mark had. My guess is real, its just a coincidence that this person had the same thing that Mark had. Its not only Mark have one of the kind item p.eople, other people would have it to.... That's what i thought but not that picture.. I slowly walk where the picture that had caught my eyes was on the night stand. The picture was me and him inside my old bedroom back in Korea.. I-I I can't describe the words what im going to say but my body took a hold of me as my emotion started to eats eavrything. I closed my mouth as my body going weak so suddenly. I had to sit on the bed to take a hold of myself.

My hand grip on the sheets so tight for me to get and controled my breathing..

This is not real

I try to told myself that. But no matter what answer i should find is right infront of me. That picture is me and him we once taken.. I leave beside the person whos been hurting me this 7 years. I'm not ready. This is too much.. I am not ready.. It could be more perfectly if i could not just met him. Why cant i just ignored everything...

Is this the sign that i still love him?

I lower my head and rested them on my palm. i keep on thingking a way that i should just go away, far away and never return. But this matter will never end. It is the right time for me to set everything clealry...It;s the right time

But i'm not ready...

I should get up and leave this place. I stood up and turn around. I bend over clearing the sheets so that it wont be noticeable that somone is sitting on them. The brush the rinkling on the sjeets to make it smooth but my hand accidentally puch the pillow away from its right spot. i stop again, 

A letter was folded neatly under the pillow that i just push away.I see that letter. I know that letter. Its a matter of time that my curiosity will kick in and my sense want me to pick it up and just to make sure. I guess my body was right all along. My finger already pick the letter and once again i crouch down and sit on the floor. 

The letter that i was holding, i open them...and there's a paper drop on my lap. It seems to be like a poloroid. I pick it up.. A huge breath been knocked out from my lungs. It was Michelle, She was just so little in this picture..And the letter is the onve i wrote before i went inside the surgery room. My last words.

Mark!? why you keep all of this?

My question will be answer when i heard the he sound of key Jigling outside the main door. Panick started to collide with my emotion. I felt froze.I stop on my track, my brain just stop working. But i need to hurry or i will be face to face with the person i'm not ready to see. 

I try to push my current state to work fast and i did. I clear everything including the ;etter and tge sonogram back where i found it. But where i should go? There is no place for me to hide. My eyes instanly look outside the window. Every windows had an imergency stairs that connnect to the other windows all over the building. 

I heard the key is been inserted in the Key hold but i;m still stryggling to open the window; I push the heavy window up once i unlock it. I took my foot and flung them over the brick wall as i do the other one. I'm safe landed on the stairs. i hod to stood up and closed the door. My finger was barely and inch to push the window down when the door is flung open..

There he is.....

My nightmare

but at the same time, he's my knight in shining armour...

I missed you so much....Mark