Seung Hee didn't even know what to think. Of all people, why Yoongi? She had never really never suspected him, and now he knew all about her – her strengths and weaknesses, her hopes and dreams. Had he done it so that he could blackmail her later?

 

Suddenly her vision blurred. Oh, great. She was going to cry. In front of everyone.

 

"Please excuse us for a moment,” said Yoongi. “I have to take Seung Hee home now.”

 

His announcement was met with protests. “Just stay! Seung Hee, can't you stay?”

 

Yoongi pulled Seung Hee to her feet and she fought her tears as she said goodbye to everyone and followed him out. It was only when they were outside the building that she burst out, “Why are you doing this to me?”

 

He looked surprised. Whatever he had been expecting, it certainly wasn't this. “Doing what?”

 

"Did you have fun?” she asked, finally crying. “Did you laugh every time I told you something? Do you have enough to blackmail me?”

 

"Blackmail? Why would I want to do that?”

 

Seung Hee hiccuped and wiped her face, but the tears kept coming. “I don't know what kind of sick game you're playing but stop it. Whatever you've done to me I've taken it, but the… this is too much!”

 

Yoongi's face darkened. “I don't understand what you're going on about, so you better explain.”

 

"Don't act so innocent – it doesn't suit you. You made me trust you – and I said things I never would have if I had known it was you.”

 

"So why would you?” he demanded. “Why would you say all those things?”

 

"I.. I thought it was Jungkook.”

 

"Jungkook...” he muttered, then turned his stormy eyes on her. “I told you so many times that I wasn't him. But is Jungkook everything? Is he the only person you can trust?”

 

"I know him. He would never try to get close to me to blackmail me later!"

 

"Blackmail? Is that the only thing you can think of?” Yoongi grabbed her wrist. “It never entered your head that I was being sincere?”

 

"Let go of me,” said Seung Hee, her voice trembling.

 

"You think I'm some kind of evil guy, don't you? You're so wrapped up in your own misconceptions that you can't even see – you see what you want to see. Every time I try to be good to you, you push me away.” His grip slackened. “You won't let me get close.”

 

His words took her aback. She had expected him to shout, to threaten… but she could see hurt in his face through the cracks of his mask – he was trying not to let her see, he was trying not to show her that this affected him. She was going to say something – anything – but he let go and said, “I'm tired of this – of you. Just go home.”

 

He bit his lip, then quickly turned around so she couldn’t see his face and went back into the building. He had his hands in his pockets and his shoulders hunched up. She almost went after him, but forced herself not to.

 

Why should she? After all, she was the victim, not him – she was the one who had gotten fooled.

 

However, guilt clawed at her insides throughout her bus ride home, and stayed with her while she did her homework, took her bath. Her stomach even turned at the thought of food. That night, she didn't sleep in his bed – he had specifically told her not to, and she would feel as though she were trespassing if she did – and slept on the couch. Even though it was late, her mind was wide awake.

 

Yoongi had abandoned her in the middle Seoul once, she could remember that clearly. She remembered the way he had treated her that night when he had seen Jungkook hug her – yeah, he was an awful guy. Except he had fed her patiently, bite by bite, when she had been depressed, he had shielded her from Manager Woo's blow with his own body. He had even bought her a pair of Converse...

 

Seung Hee covered her face with the blanket. Argh, how frustrating! She hated him, yet liked him at the same time. She remembered how his face had flashed with hurt earlier. Did she really always push him away? Great, now she felt even guiltier – but he was the one who kept pushing her away!

 

She took her phone and read every single text he had sent her, laughing out loud at some of them and slightly smiling at the other ones. How could she have not guessed it was Yoongi? His personality was so present! Would he send a text tonight? He had always texted her goodnight…. but he wouldn't right? She really hoped that he would, but as expected no text came.

 

Looking at those texts, Yoongi did seem sincere. Maybe he just didn't know how to be nice to people in person, because he was in fact shy. He had even told her, I don't know how to get close to people. Maybe she wasn't a victim after all – she had jumped to conclusions too quickly, and Yoongi had been right when he said that she couldn't see him in any other way than a bad person. Maybe it was up to Seung Hee to apologize first…

 

She typed, i'm sorry but erased it. That wasn't enough – apologizing through a text wasn't enough. She sighed and turned off her phone, and told herself firmly to go to sleep and deal with this mess tomorrow.

 

 

* * * *

 

 

Seung Hee stirred as she heard the door open and then slam shut. She opened her eyes a crack to see Yoongi go in in his room and come out almost immediately, clutching a black notebook.

 

Seung Hee stumbled off the couch and stood in front of him, her hair wild and tangled, her eyes puffy from tears. Even this early in the morning, Yoongi was as he normally was: well dressed and effortlessly good-looking. Except now, there was a kind of vulnerability in his eyes.

 

They stared at each other, each waiting for the other to make the first move. It was only when Yoongi looked as though he might leave that Seung Hee said, “What are you doing here?”

 

Expressionless, he held up the notebook and said one word: “Notebook.”

 

Then he moved to the door.

 

Without thinking, Seung Hee wrapped her arms around his waist just as his hand touched the door handle and whispered, “I'm so sorry...”

 

That was all she needed to tell him – sorry for jumping to conclusions, for

always seeing him in a bad light.

 

Yoongi stiffened at the contact, at her words. He put his hands over hers

for a brief moment before removing her arms from his waist and wrenching the door open and slamming it shut.

 

Seung Hee stood there, stunned by her sudden boldness. Had she really just hugged Min Yoongi? And he had rebuffed her – she had known that he would push her away, but it still hurt.

 

She sighed, and tried to go back to sleep but kept jumping at any slight sound. She gave up in about an hour, and got ready for school – which was worse than usual because Ha Na was sick and didn't come.

 

 

By the time she got back home, she was too tired to do anything besides flop down dramatically on the couch – the place that she ate, slept, studied and watched TV on.

 

Sleep overcame her, but she woke up in a panic at 1:00 AM with none of her homework done. She couldn't not turn in her homework; the teachers would not tolerate it. She tried to work, but an hour later her eyes burned and mind was numb with the desire to sleep. Words jumbled together and made no sense, and despite her mind screaming 'NOOO', she felt herself slip blissfully into slumber land.

 

* * * *

 

Yoongi was finally able to go home at 5:00 AM after completing another damn photo shoot for a coca-cola ad. It was at times like this, when he wore himself to the bone with something that had nothing to do with music, that he wished he weren't an idol.

 

He could work ridiculously long hours in the recording-studio and the practice room. He invested so much effort to transfer his passion and energy on stage, in the songs he wrote. Variety shows and modeling wore him out and he hated them. He was a singer, a composer, an artist. Was he ever treated like one? Hardly.

 

He was treated like a manufactured idol – the kind who couldn't do a thing on their own. He had screaming girls drooling over him, he had his audience eating from the palm of his hand. Wherever he went, all eyes turned to him.

 

The attention disgusted Yoongi. Those people would not have spared him a second glance if he had not been famous. It was all fake, all shallow – he knew it, but it gave him immense satisfaction to prove it. He attracted models, actresses, anyone, and despised them while enjoying their attention. He loved seeing their faces when he left them - he never gave them what they wanted, so he could preserve the tiny fragment of dignity he still possessed. It was all he had.

 

Now, he went to his apartment instead of the dorm – the members would expect him to stay the night out anyway as he had left with one of the models in the ad - and stopped dead in his tracks when he saw that the light was on and someone was inside. Then he remembered – of course, the kid. How could he have forgotten?

 

Yoongi remembered the other morning, her crazy hair and sleepy face. He didn't know if other people would think the same, but he found her adorable like that. And she was in Hello Kitty pyjamas – that was adorable, too.

 

Yoongi approached the couch carefully. The kid was lying on her tummy, her head on an open book and her backpack on the floor, books spilling out of it. He gently slipped the book from under her head – it was a Korean history book. Did she fall asleep while reading that?

 

A grin split his face. The kid was even in her school uniform, her hair untied and some of it falling across her face. He bent down and smoothed the hair away from her face, and took the pen she had clutched in her hand. It was cold; he fetched a blanket and tucked her in snugly.

 

It was strange that he no longer felt angry – at the coca-cola ad or at her (after all, she had apologized). And right now, she seemed so innocent – more than he had ever seen before. The difference between her and that model from the ad were striking – the kid was so pure, so untouched by qualities which defined human nature: greed, cunning...

 

Yoongi couldn't help it. He bent down, and placed his lips tenderly on her forehead. Seung Hee's eyelashes fluttered, and he froze. Her eyes did not open, but Yoongi saw her lips turn up a bit in a tiny smile.

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