The Mins had a daughter; but as they couldn't have another child,as they so wanted to hve one, their marriage fell apart. Mr Min started numerous affairs and one of them ended up with him getting a son – Yoongi.

 

Yoongi was five when his birth-mother died. His father, whom he had rarely seen, had come to get him. For one moment, Yoongi believed that he was going to have a home, and he would live with the father he always wanted to have. However, his father had taken him to an orphanage, and left him there.

 

One month later, Mrs Min came to get him. Despite Mr Min's protests, Yoongi was formally made a member of the family. But that month in the orphanage had destroyed him – had destroyed his childhood innocence and he mistrusted everyone. The one who pulled him out of it was Eunji, his elder half-sister.

 

Eunji had been one of the first to accept Yoongi in the family, and the two grew close – they became inseparable. Five years later, though, Eunji became sick and died.

 

Yoongi plunged into music to deal with his grief, and stuck more to Namjoon. They had been friends since age seven and had a close group of five friends.

 

When they were eleven years old, they were all supposed to go on a trip together to the beach, but before they got there they got into a road accident. Only Yoongi and Namjoon survived, but Yoongi had lived for a while believing that he was the only one who had survived as Namjoon was in a coma for nearly a year.

 

Namjoon finally woke up, but neither of them were the same. They became troublemakers. They bunked school and got into fights and vandalized shops. They even got expelled from two different schools. But they kept singing – it was all they had of their old life. They even auditioned one day, having nothing else to do and it was just for fun.

 

To their shock, Yoongi was accepted by all three major agencies – SM, YG, and JYP. He chose SM, and Namjoon was accepted the next year and they trained together.

 

"I would have never made it without him,” said Namjoon. “He was the one who gave me the courage to keep going – and he was the one who took all the blame when we both got in trouble with SM.”

 

"What did you do that was so bad?” asked Seung Hee.

 

Namjoon shook his head. “I can't tell you – but it was mostly me who said it. He couldn't debut because of me. They never told us that we wouldn't debut, you know, we just kept working hard. We would have probably still been there if K Entertainment hadn't found us.” He gave a sudden laugh. “You should have seen Yoongi when he just debuted. He was so shy and unsure! He learned to hide himself behind a mask of confidence and indifference – you can't survive in this world if you appear to be too sensitive. That's also why he's a rapper – he feels powerful when he raps.”

 

"But why is he doing all that?”

 

"He doesn't want to get hurt again, Seung Hee. He thinks that if he doesn't get attached to anyone, it won't hurt him if they ever leave.”

 

She tried to look at things from Yoongi's point of view, and all she could think about was how lonely and hard it must have been to shut himself out from anyone else. But he had to – he had to protect himself.

 

Namjoon had explained a lot about about Yoongi, but there was one thing that really bothered her.

 

"Can I ask you something?” she said. “Everyone says that he's a playboy, and has hundreds of girls. Is that true?”

 

Namjoon smiled. "I'll tell you a secret: he always leaves the girl after making her fall for him. He has never had a one-night stand. This is a secret, so don't tell anyone. Even the other members don't know."

 

A knot inside Seung Hee loosened. She felt lighter, somehow.

 

“You want to know another secret?" said Namjoon. "He's never had a girlfriend.”

 

"What?” cried Seung Hee in surprise. “But … he's so old… how come?”

 

"I told you, he's scared to get attached to people. He's already lost so many, he doesn't want to lose more. He is only attached to Mrs Min, and us. No one else. He told me many times that he would never fall in love. It's even in lots of the songs he wrote.”

 

Namjoon sighed and took a sip of coffee. “Aish, it got cold...”

"Should I go heat it up?"

"It's all right." He sighed again.

 

"Oppa,” said Seung Hee. “Actually… why are you telling me this?”

 

"I just want you to understand,” said Namjoon softly. “All this time, he was trying not to get attached. He's scared he'll lose them – and now he's scared he'll lose you, too.”

 

"Me? But he hates me! He treats me like a kid!”

 

"I can see his defenses crumbling when he's around you," said Namjoon. "I've never seen him like that before, and I've been his best friend for half our lives. Trust me, he doesn't hate you. In fact, he's gotten quite fond of you."

 

Seung Hee realized then that there was some truth in what he was saying. She knew it was too much to say that Yoongi liked her, that he had gotten fond, but he tolerated her now.

 

"Can you promise me something?" asked Namjoon. "Just... whatever happens, promise me you won't hurt him."
 

Once again, she was taken aback. "Hurt him? I... what do you mean?"

 

"I know the relationship between you two is complicated. Just don't do something that will hurt him."

 

Seung Hee wondered how she could hurt the cold Min Yoongi - and then remembered: the cold Min Yoongi is a shield to protect himself.

 

"I won't hurt him," she promised. "And thank you for telling me all this. I... guess I can understand him a little better now."

 

Namjoon suddenly became anxious. "Don't let him know I told you all this! That guy would kill me!"

 

She laughed. "I won't."
 

He relaxed, but then checked his watch. "Oh, gods - I have to go now."

 

He stood up and Seung Hee saw him out. After he left, she curled up on the king-size bed, her head spinning with Namjoon's revelations. It did not occur to her even for a moment to doubt his words – he seemed too sincere, and the whole story made sense.

 

As she lay there, an image came in her mind – a crying child and a man's

figure walking away. That crying child turned into Min Yoongi: cold and indifferent, and, according to Namjoon, afraid to love.

 

 

* * * *

 

 

Seung Hee was making a dinner of instant noodles that night at ten pm, still seeing that crying child in her mind, when the door opened. She went to see who had come, and was pushed back into the kitchen by Yoongi.

 

"Is that noodles?” he asked, then ordered, “Make some for me, too.”

 

Seeing him standing there, all cold and with a closed expression, Seung Hee's image of him as a crying child vanished.

 

"What are you doing here?” she demanded.

 

"Do I need to answer you? This is my house.” He turned away, sullen faced.

 

His mere presence made her temper flare up. She was about to say something back to him, but remembered everything Namjoon had told her - even if he was a jerk, he was a jerk she felt sorry for. So she forced herself to ask, “Shall I make you some ramen?”

 

She noticed the way he quickly looked at her, as though checking to see whether she was joking, then nodded.

 

Yoongi sat at the table and watched her put a pan of water to heat and open another packet. She looked at him quickly and averted her eyes. He was about to say something mean, she knew it. He opened his mouth and she told herself that whatever he said, she would not get angry – she would not give him the satisfaction of knowing how his words affected her.

 

"Come eat your ramen,” he said, and that was so unexpected coming from him that at first she thought she had misheard him. But he nodded at her bowl and said, “Eat it before the noodles get soggy.”

 

"It's all right,” she said, not sure if he was playing around with her. “I'll make it for you first.”

 

She could feel his eyes on her, and just for the sake of doing something besides standing there and waiting for the noodles to cook, she said, “Are you tired?”

 

She hadn't really been expecting an answer, and apparently he hadn't been expecting the question, for he jumped slightly.

 

“It's been a long day,” he said, and he rubbed his eyes. “I pulled an all-nighter yesterday.”

 

No wonder he seemed drained of energy, thought Seung Hee. Thankfully, the noodles seemed just about done and she put them in a bowl and set it in front of him along with a pair of chopsticks.

 

Yoongi fell upon the small bowl as though he were starving, shoveling the hot noodles in his mouth.

 

"Slow down,” said Seung Hee. “It’s hot.”

 

He glanced at her and she thought he was going to yell at her for telling him not to do something, but his lips went up in a half-smile. Then he kept eating.

 

He seemed so hungry that Seung Hee asked, “Do you want more?”

 

He nodded.

 

"If you're so hungry, you should have rice.”

 

"Don't bother, I can just have more ramen.”

 

"There's already some rice in the fridge with some side-dishes. I'll heat them up for you.”

 

Yoongi did not protest, and watched her take them out of the fridge and heat them up. She looked at him, and smiled. “Hang in there a moment.”

 

He nodded, and warmth spread inside him - and he was grateful. He was grateful that she was taking the pain to give him proper food on a day when he had not slept the night before and all he had eaten was some bread in the morning.

 

Seung Hee set a steaming plate of fluffy white rice and side-dishes in front of him. “There you go,” she said brightly. Yoongi's throat tightened as he took a spoonful, and he had to swallow twice.

 

"Not good?” she asked, trying some. “It is – did you get a really spicy part?”

 

He nodded, and she pushed a glass of water towards him. “Quick, drink this.”

 

It all became too much. He got up suddenly. “Sorry, I- I really have to go sleep now.”

 

"What?” she said. “Oh, yeah, go ahead. I'll clean up.”

 

He left, and Seung Hee sighed. He was so confusing! At first, she had been nice to him because she felt sorry for him. It was when he told her to come eat before her noodles got soggy that she really did want to get along with him...

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