“Let’s break up.”

Qingge looked at Dayu blankly. “What?”

“I said, let’s break up. I think it’s better this way.”

Qingge gave Dayu a frustrated look. He stomped his feet and walked back and forth in front of Dayu. “Give me a reason.”

“Because we are both men.”

Qingge glared at Dayu and with a harsh tone he said, “Why are you even concerning about that now? What the actual , Dayu!”

“I realized that I was too naive before. I was just thinking about my own happiness. I don’t count on my parents’ thought about it. I don’t wanna hurt them and I...”

“Stop, stop, stop...”

“And I don’t want to betray them.”

“I SAID STOP!!”

Dayu was already in the verge of tears. Qingge sighed deeply. He massaged his temple and talked in a softer voice.

“Should we tell them that we are in a relationship now?”

“NO!!” Dayu was so flabbergasted by Qingge’s words. “How could you do that!?”

“It’s better this way. How long do we need to hide it from them?”

“We don’t need to hide it if we break up.”

Again, Qingge felt his heart seethed. He violently grabbed Dayu’s collar and spun him around so that Dayu’s hips bumped the outskirts of the dining table.

“Say that again, and you’ll see the consequence.”

“Qingge… we need… to… break up,” Dayu said the sentence with a strong emphasis on each word.

Qingge let loose his grip and put his hand on Dayu’s neck. He roughly forced a kiss on Dayu. Dayu wanted to break free, but then Qingge hugged him hard.

“Baby… baby… listen to me...” Dayu stopped his movement and Qingge continued his words, “I don’t know what happen with me. Though it was you who said it first that you like me, but I, I feel like, it’s me who is always loving you. Please, just… give it a chance. Give our relationship a chance to live.”

Dayu’s tears began to roll down his cheeks. But he didn’t say anything nor he made any noise. Qingge was also in tears. He hugged Dayu still and put his chin on Dayu’s shoulder.

They kept hugging each other for a long time, until Dayu slowly pushed Qingge’s body away from him and stared at Qingge’s eyes.

“I think, it’s better for us to… give it a break to our relationship for the time being...” Qingge wanted to interrupt, but then Dayu put his hand on Qingge’s lips. “Let me finish it. You can stay here. I will try to look at another place to stay. Let’s just keep our distance for a while. We need to think about the whole thing, including our parents. They must have their expectation on us, moreover I am the first son. I couldn’t bear to see my parents getting hurt, especially my mom.”

Qingge held Dayu’s waist with his left arm, and his right arm moved up to Dayu’s cheek, caressing it lightly. “Will you be happy after leaving me?”

Dayu blinked his eyes, a single tear dropped from his beautiful eyes. Qingge kissed Dayu’s forehead, down to his nose and he scraped his thumb on Dayu’s dry lips, kissing it until it become wet and swollen.

Qingge laid his forehead on Dayu’s forehead, calming his heart.

“If there is one thing that I couldn’t bear to see the most, it is when I see you being unhappy.”

“Qing...”

“What if I refuse to break up?”

“I insist.”

“Isn’t it unfair? You always fight your best to help your friends and make them found their own happiness. How could you be so unfair to yourself? Why don’t you fight for your own happiness?”

“If my happiness causes my beloved ones grieved, I’m rather not having it.”

Qingge’s tears finally dropped. He has held it for the whole time and it pained him so much to hear that statement from Dayu.

“Let me hold you tonight.”

Qingge pulled Dayu’s legs up and carried him. Dayu automatically tighten his legs around Qingge’s waist. They kissed while Qingge walked to his bedroom.

They made love passionately like today was the last day they lived on the earth. The feeling was so suffocating.

Qingge made a note for himself in his mind.

It’s not the end. It’s just a new beginning for us. Just wait for me. I’ll make you completely mine. Mine and mine alone.

To be continued