✌REVIEW - The Wrong Person (by innocent_geeky_girl)

✔✔TRAVERSE SHOP - REVIEW & PROOFREAD✔✔
 
 
 
 
Story title:
Author(s):
Genre(s):
Romance
Angst
Story Status:
Completed
No.of Chapters:
1
Category:
Oneshot
Total Points:
38/45
 
TITLE: 4/5
The title's okay as it is related to the story itself. But then again, it's starts with an article, 'the', an overused title which may or may not be eye-catching to the readers.
DESCRIPTION/FOREWORD: 10/10
The Description is finely made because it is not that revealing, since you didn't state who she fell in love with. There are no plot points that are revealed.

I find nothing wrong with the Foreword :)
PLOT: 8/10
You started your story by telling the readers about the characters' personalites and backstory, too. By telling. You could have changed the start of the story to something like a flashback, a dialogue-driven backstory (when they first met, ect.) to show the readers the characters' personalities and to also make your story longer and enjoyable.

The plot is what the description says: she fell in love with the wrong person, and she regretted it afterwards. Yes, the plot is realistic, but I think it's a bit too rushed?

Also, there's a potential it will become a multi-chaptered story since there are some questions left in the reader's mind (e.g. what would happen after this?)
WRITING STYLE: 3/5
Your writing style is a bit too long and wordy. There are some sentences that can be changed to simple sentences, but instead made it long and a bit hard to catch up. And there are some repeated info around...
Grammar: 4/5
There are some minor mistakes, but other than that the spelling's good.
Satisfaction: 9/10
I enjoyed reading your story! It would be nice if you continued your story :) I must say that this is a good first oneshot.
 
 
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Author's Thoughts
StoicBread
(7 - 12 -16) O YES DAY 1 EXAMS FINISHED YEEEEEA~
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Comments

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WhisperOfTheSea #1
Would you like to be affies?
http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1158939/
Sparked_Imperfection #2
Author(s): Sparked_Imperfection
Story Title: Storytime with Kym
Story Link: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1144996/storytime-with-kym-collection-horror-originalcharacter-compilation
Story Status: Ongoing
No. of Chapters: 2 (May add more while you are doing this ^^")
Genre(s): Mixed (Currently Horror and Anti-Romance (?))
Review/Proofread/Both: Review
Additional Notes: You may feel the story has no backstory. That's because these are scenes, not whole stories.
AlienDongsaeng #3
Author(s): AlienDongsaeng
Story Title: Lucky To Be Unlucky
Story Link: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1136588
Story Status: Completed
No. of Chapters: 3
Genre(s): Comedy, Fluff
Review/Proofread/Both: Both
Additional Notes: Had a hard time writing this. My laptop broke down... Couldn't check for grammar mistakes. HELP
MirrorGirl #4
Author(s): MirrorGirl
Story Title: Mates
Story Link: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1138620/mates-fantasy-romance-exo-baekhyun-werewolf-xiumin-wolfau
Story Status: ongoing
No. of Chapters: 5 (For now)
Genre(s): fantasy, abused and romance
Review/Proofread/Both: Review
Additional Notes: thank you for your time! I'm not sure how many chapters are gonna be up by the time you review the story though. Thus, the (for now)
Angst_hyung #5
Author(s): Kookie025
Story Title: Jikook Oneshot Challenge ♡♡♡
Story Link: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1131795/jikook-oneshot-challenge-hiatus-oneshot-jimin-bts-jungkook-jikook
Story Status: ongoing (hiatus)
No. of Chapters: 18
Brief Summary: Just a collection of Jikook Stories~~
Genre(s): Mostly angst, romance, fluff, humour, fantast, etc.
Review/Proofread/Both: Proofread
Additional Notes: thank you so much sarangheeee~~
Angst_hyung #6
Unnie~~ Can I request for proofread? I'll request now~ sarangheeeeeee
k4ryss4 #7
Chapter 41: Wow, thank you so much for your review! It really made me realise my mistakes. I'm kind of conflicted between making Chanyeol really happy or writing the whole story as perfect in grammar as I could (because his passion is writing and all), which isn't really the point of a diary. I'll take your suggestions into consideration and I'll definitely rewrite some parts of the chapters I've posted. Thank you so much!! <3 <3 <3 <3

P.S. Yeah, it's pre-planned(ish) because I really like to plan my stories and I don't know why .-. (ish because I still don't know how I'm going to write the conflict scenes and , or if I'm going to stick with the conflict I thought of when I was planning lmao)
AlienDongsaeng #8
Chapter 42: Btw, ALICEEEE!!
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