//- so sorry guys because I was suppose to update it yesterday but the stupid internet kept cutting off ugh . Anyways I'm telling u guys there's a trigger warning here and i dont want to spoil anything but if u find it sensitive/unpleasent u can skip it. enjoy reading !! 

The loud bang of the door filled the air inside the empty house . Lighting struck high above the dark grey sky with the endless tears still pouring down . Jinhwan entered his house , with the droplets of water from his small body each crashing to the wooden floor . His coat and inner clothes were drenched but he didnt care about it before he took his now wet coat to the floor . The small boy closed the door behind him , preventing the rain to enter the house . 

Jinhwan went up to his room , with his eyes  and nose restraining from sniffing due to the cold of the rain and crying. He walked slowly upstairs as he held the railing and looked down to each step he took . Wet footprints were left behind as he finally reached his room . He unlocked it and found the same vibe and feeling he was looking for . Loneliness . He sat down on his chair and took out his notebook from his drawer . As each page he slipped through , it became clear how his happiness were just a mere illusion from reality . "Why ?" he said as his voice cracks and was now sobbing when he went to the last page he wrote . 

This time I have finally met someone who I can really trust and this person really brings the joy out of me . 

Tears marked on the page as Jinhwan sobbed . He didnt understand why . Why would Junhoe betray him . He doesnt know how to handle the feeling anymore . The numbness and depression starts to kick in . Pain swells up through his body . He knows this familiar pain , and he knows how to handle it . 

Jinhwan lifted his small body from the chair and went to his bathroom . He looked up to the cabinet's mirror . The person who he knew , the person who thought was going to find happiness and leave all those negativity away . But he found himself there , back again to square one . Again to the place where all the pain he received from the past , all came pouring back again . He opened the cabinet and took something from the top shelf . Jinhwan knows too well where he put it , he always left it there . Hidden from his parent's sight and unreachable . The sharp sides of the small razor blade touched Jinhwan's fingers as he took it from the shelf . 

"How to stop the pain." the small boy said as he sat on the bathroom floor . Outside it was still a downpour with the small window on the wall , letting in the chilly breeze . It was dark outside due to the clouds giving the bathroom a more sad and depressing atmosphere with mixtures of lighting strike and the breeze intruding in . Jinhwan pulled up his long sleeve shirt which was still wet . He quiver a bit  as the bathroom was more cold than it was before .  The old scars were plastered against his soft skin on his wrist . Some weren't even that old because he had done it a month ago , before he met Junhoe . His heart ache even more to the thoughts of the younger's words . The blade was in his grasp now , and he could end it right there , and no one would even know . A last drop of tear rolled from his hot cheeks and fell to his wrist . "Im sorry ."

                                                     ***

"Where are you going man ? We still have some celebration to do ! Coach is even bringing us to Mr.Chanwoo's restaurant ! " Mino asked happily while Junhoe  was desperately packing up his things in the boy's room . He didnt even repsonded to Mino leaving the older male shrugging and walking off to the other players who were cheering happily . As soon as all his stuffs were in his bag , the younger made his way to the exit door of the school at the back hallway . There he was directly sent to the school's garden at the back and Junhoe didnt took that much time to ran towards the gate Jinhwan and him used before . 

What were you thinking Junhoe ?! Jinhwan's probably more hurt now than never ever since you started hanging out with those jerks . Jerks ? Wow , Junhoe never thought how much a two face person he can be after he hang around with Rey and the guys and now calling them jerks after saying they were his friends infront of Jinhwan . The younger groan in frustration and concern grew inside after knowing Jinhwan went home with the rain still pouring heavily . He knows that his hyung will get sick immediately , and he doesnt know if he will be there to care for him . After what he had said . 

The rains beats down on Junhoe's head and his hair was stuck to his forehead . He ran as fast as how the lighting struck above the dark clouds and finally made it to his house . He opened the front door as if it was tightly locked . "Hyung !!" the younger shouted as he threw his bag on the living room sofa . The older wasn't there and not in the kitchen too . Junhoe thought he was probably up in his bedroom . The younger ran up the stairs with his wet shoes and clothes leaving the floor wet . " Hyung ! Im- " he was about to finish his sentence when he thought would be on his bed , crying . But the latter wasnt there , not even the bathroom . Junhoe got more and more worried