Authors note: Mildly M

Lee Jong Suk POV

It’s today!  I know there is a spring in my step.  I think people who are close to me are noticing the change.  I have been bouncing the whole day.  No matter how much I tell myself to calm down, I simply can’t today.  I am going to be seeing him and we will be at the party.  Any touches we share will be considered fan service.  Within limits of course.  But we can touch without worrying about onlookers.  Boy, sometimes I am glad fans love us together and like it when we touch each other.  I cannot imagine how it would be for both of us if we did not love each other.  It never felt uncomfortable at any time, even before all this started.  May be it was always there.  I can’t think when it all started feeling different.  Was that after running man?  Or the first Beer CF shoot?

 Ehhh.  Who cares?

I am going to see him today and I am excited.

And I can touch him whenever I want, publicly and say anything I want publicly and no one will misunderstand.  yeah!

I already got some texts from him.  He is as excited as I am.  He is starting his own countdown.  Texting me whenever he gets a break. 

“9 hours and 27 minutes” one of them said.

“Let’s do a lot of fan service.  I heard they like it when we touch”        

It is amazing how similarly we think sometimes. 

Me “There will be a lot of touching”

Him “Some ”

Me “Not in public”

Him “Really?”

He always makes me laugh.

And then

“7 hours 3 minutes”

We always make it a point to delete texts immediately.  It ruins the fun but we have to be very careful.  Some of the texts we exchange get a little racy.  Our managers are responsible for everything.  So, they read everything when they handle the phone.  We can barely hide anything.  We have no personal space.  Because personal lives impact our professional lives.  So, everything is business. 

But, we both have talked about getting personal phones where only two of us know the number and perhaps other personal friends we trust.  So, this problem will go away very quickly. 

Manager: “I saw a text from Woo Bin”

!  Which one? 

Me: “yeah?  What did it say?”

Manager smiles as he relays the message “It said 7 hours and 3 minutes.  What is he talking about?”

I am so ing relieved.  He is careless.  Never say anything w/o checking who has the phone.  That’s the law.  I laugh as if I am very amused. 

Me: “He is counting down the time for the party.  He is very excited he gets to drink again”

Manager: “Ha ha.  He is a funny dude!  I am glad you guys will get some time to hang out again”

Manager: “Last time when you guys met, did something happen?  Did you guys fight?”

Me: “Eh?  Fight?  Why?”  I am confused by this question. 

Manager: “I was a little concerned that day.  You looked like you had cried and not just having a hang over”

Hmmm..  I pretend to think.  He is getting very perceptive.  Not good.  Am I getting too obvious?  What happened to my mask?  Can’t lose it.  Especially now. 

Me: “I think after a few beers we were sharing how busy we were and how tired I was all the time.  It is possible I cried.  Ha ha.  After that drama, I don’t feel uncomfortable crying in front of him.  I must have been drunk with beer.  I completely forgot about that”

I watch him to see if he believe me.  It looks like that he did. 

Manager: “Ah.  I am sorry Jong Suk.  I know it is tiresome.  You are not unhappy all the time right?  Are you enjoying what you are doing?  It is okay to feel tired and frustrated some days but you need to continue to enjoy your work.  You know that right?  If you are always unhappy, it will start showing in your work.  When it gets like that, will you tell me?”

I am suddenly speechless.  I think.  Am I enjoying my work? A big Yes.  I love acting.  I don’t like photo shoots as much but that is part of what I need to do.  I like that I have become famous.  I like being recognized.  I may feel frustrated when I have no personal life but I will endure it because I am doing something I simply love doing.  When I am on set and shooting a scene, I forget about everything.  I want to immerse myself in that character and they are me.  Yes, I am enjoying my work.  I am glad my runway walking days are finally over.  Rest I can handle. 

Me: “Thank you manager-im.  I love what I do.  I enjoy every moment.  So, if some days I am being a diva, allow me okay?  But I am mostly happy.  This is exactly what I wanted to do.”

We are quiet.  I am glad to have him as my manager.  My previous manager was a terrible one.  He made me feel terrible about myself.  This one tries really hard.  I am grateful to him.  I need to buy him a gift one of these days…  I think I get really selfish sometimes and forget how hard people are working around me to make me as comfortable as I can be,  that I can always look good…

I get a text.

“Hi LJS.  Wanted to find out if we need to talk about anything before tonight”

Now, that is much better.  That is how you need to start.

Me “Hi KWB, phone in hand.  Sweety.”

WB “Hey, that’s mine.  You can’t use that”

Me “Okay sweety”  It is really fun to .

I imagine him laughing.   

WB “Idiot!   Anyway, are you wearing something pretty?”

I continue to tease.  “Planning to wear no underwear”

WB “er! Call?”

Me “Can’t.  with manager.”

WB “Ahhhh.  4 hours to go”

I call him.  I want to hear his voice.  He answers.  I can feel his surprise. 

“Hi Woo bin.  Nothing much.  I am sure our publicists will give us a brief anyway.  Do you want to do or say anything specific?”

He knows I want to .  WB: “I am alone and I can talk anyway I like.  So, don’t you start with me!”

I am afraid Manager will see me blush.  I control.  And then manager leaves me alone.  He has been different lately.  Tries to give me more privacy…

“Well, now I am alone too.  So, let’s hear what you wanted to talk about” I challenge him.  I am already feeling tingly. 

WB:”I want to your ears and then pull them with my teeth.  My tongue is playing with your ears.  And then I want to kiss your neck and rip open that shirt.  Play with you left .  Are you feeling me?”

Yes, I feel him alright..

“Yeah..” I tell him breathlessly.

He continues.  “Now I am your right and back to those lips that are so soft and just waiting for my ..  My hand is now …”  I hear someone in the background calling his name.

I hear him groan in frustration.

I am getting hard listening to him and this is not good considering where I am and how many are around me. 

WB: “. !  You should not encourage me.  It is all your fault” he complains.

I know, I know. 

Me “Sorry…”

WB “As punishment I want you to think about everything I said and whatever I did not get to say – for the rest of the day.  I want you to be hard when I see you”

Me “You are a sick ”

WB: “You bet!  Going now”

Oh I hate him to doing this to me.  Guess I started it. 

Manager: “Jong Suk, your briefing is coming up.  They are here”

I calm myself down taking deep breaths.  Phone is a lot of fun but not when we can’t finish and we are in public. 

Sigh..

I am glad I have to get back to work.  Idle mind is devil’s work shop.

------

Finally I am at the party.  I asked the stylist to make me look pretty.  She was like “What?”  I laughed. 

I think they all notice how cheerful I am.  I can see the atmosphere is light.  Everyone is smiling.  Or is it just me? 

I get out of my car.  !   Flashes almost blind me.  So many cameras and so many fans! 

I forgot for a moment this is work.  I smile brilliantly and wave.  I keep scanning to see where he is.  I smile and grin.  My face hurts.  I wave some more.  They are screaming my name.  I blow some kisses.  I love my fans.  I am grateful to them.  I need to make them see I love them too. When I think about the love they have for me, my face stops hurting.  I can smile better.  My smiles are genuine.   I am happy they are here. 

And then I see him.  My whole body tightens up.  He is grinning.  His grin is all for me and my stomach is filled with butterflies seeing him look so happy. 

The flashes around me remind me there are cameras everyone and I should be a little more careful.  I grin at him and continue waving to my fans.  I am being led to where he is standing with his team.  We look at each other.  There are some brief looks that only we know.  They are our secrets.  This brief glint in his eye, a quick appraisal and another grin that reminds me he told me to look pretty.  I know what he is thinking. 

But what everyone else sees is that we hug like friends.  He whispers in my ear “you look pretty”.  Blood rushes to my face.  He is being such a tease.  He knows how that will make me feel and how I have a tendency to blush.  He does it anyway.  Bastard! 

I put my head on his shoulder.  Something I have done countless times in the past and fans love that.  I whisper “I have a hard on”.  Well, I don’t but I can tease back too.

He continues to grin but I see a bit of tightness.  Good.  Serves him right!

Then we are being lead to the party.  Everyone looks like they are having a great time.  All I want is to touch him.  So, I hold his hand.  He presses it.  I look at him.  He gestures to cameras.  I am back to acting.  I think when we had not yet slept together, it was easier for me to touch him anyway I wanted.  Now, I feel different.  None of it is innocent anymore and I am afraid it will show.  I think he senses my discomfort.  He puts his hand around my shoulder.  Whispers nonsense in my ears and asks me to laugh as he laughs.  I laugh.  All for the cameras everywhere.  I thought this would be fun.  It’s not.  It is a torture.  I long for this to be over, so we can get to our rooms.  But we hug, put arms around each other’s waists, whisper nonsense in each other’s ears.  At one time, he says, “I love you.  Hang in there”.  That helps.

After very long 2 hours, we both start showing fatigue and I start signaling my manager that I need to sleep.  I knew the party was scheduled for 2 hours and we should be done.  We shake a lot of hands, smile even more as we get out of the place.  Woo Bin tells his manager he will travel in our car.  My manager says he will go in theirs.  We will be alone in the car.  Finally!

He gets in and looks at me.  The door is closed between the driver and us.  We have privacy.  He pulls me in for a kiss.  It is a violent kiss.  We bang each other’s teeth, fight with tongues, each other till neither of us can breathe.   He pushes me down on the seat and one of us has to think straight.  Right now, it’s me.  I stop him.  He is not listening.  His hands are all over me.  He rubs himself on me and I am about to lose control.  This can’t happen.  Driver will know.  I push him gently.  I keep pushing him.  He is finally coming to his senses.  He groans against my lips.  I feel him shudder and then sigh.

He straightens me and my cloths.  “This is ing hard.  I am so frustrated”.  I agree.

He takes some deep breaths.  I do the same.  He holds my hand. 

WB: “How are you doing?”

Me: “Frustrated”

He laughs.  I love that laugh. 

WB: “How far is the hotel?”  I don’t really know.

He opens the driver door and asks him.  Another 15 minutes. 

I know it will take another hour or so before we will get some privacy.  There will be more briefing, meetings.  We will have to show that we are very tired so that they can leave us alone.  We plan all this in whispers.  Finally starting to have some fun. 

Our plan works well.  They all see we are yawning and falling over.  I don’t have to really pretend.  I am tired.  But not for Woo Bin.  They have put us next to each other.  They have always done that.  I think they know we would want to hang out and chat. 

We have decided to hang out in his room.  So, I go, change, get into something more comfortable and go and knock on his door.  He has been waiting.  Just has a robe on.  It looks like he has nothing on inside.  His chest is bare.  He laughs at my expression.  He opens the robe and just when I think I am going to see in his glory, he has boxers on.  I am slightly disappointed..

He pulls me inside his robe and kisses me after kicking the door closed.  We move towards the bed without stopping the kiss.  We are all hot and bothered.  He my lips and I moan.  We simply can’t wait.  He undresses me.  I am impatient and want them to be ripped off.  He laughs while kissing me and trying to get my clothes off.  I felt his hardness the moment he pulled me into his robe.  I started getting hard the moment he put his lips on me.  Finally the clothes come off and we are scratching, biting, , pulling and grinding.  We have no patience at all.  We are already each other and we are both coming in each other’s hands in minutes.  !  I think that was the fastest I have come and it is not something to brag about.  But we both laugh and fall back in bed feeling delicious. 

We have rest of the night and I am looking forward to every moment…

……