Kim Woo Bin POV

It’s Thursday.  I can’t stop thinking about tomorrow.  I will be seeing Jong Suk and we will have an adult talk.  About our feelings.  Gosh, that sounds so girly.  Why is it that I have not been thinking too much about the talk but the feel of Jong Suk’s lips on my lips and his body under my fingers?    I want him to squirm under me and moan and say my name.  I don’t want to have adult talk.  I want to do adult things….I shake my head to get rid of all this strange tension in my body. 

….

Between breaks, when I should be studying my script, my head wonders.  I think of variety of scenarios of our time together tomorrow.  Should I just take this all the way?  Will he be willing?  Or, after his date may be whatever I am thinking is distasteful to him…Am I the only one who is imagining us together like that? 

He did moan….

I am reminded of those moans now and how that kiss had escalated so quickly.  I was too afraid to take it too far.  When his fingers had moved on the buttons of my shirt and when the first button had come off, I had decided to take it a little slow.  I had whispered to him to not rush it.  I did not want both of us to regret anything.  Taking such big decisions in the heat of the moment could jeopardize a lot for both of us.  I was proud of myself.  I had seen certain disappointment in his eyes.

Perhaps, I was not the only one going insane.  May be he felt the same way…

I have had few weeks to think about this.  I am ready to take the next step.  I am hoping we are on the same wavelength.  We mostly have been so far.  But this is different….

……

I need to focus on the script.

…..

Lee Jong Suk POV

It’s Thursday.  I can’t stop thinking about tomorrow.  I will be seeing Woo Bin.  I don’t know what we are going to talk about.  He said we will need to talk.  I am slightly afraid what he has to say.  But I am more excited about what could happen.

I know can make it happen if I want to.   I know if I just show a little sign, Woo Bin will forget about any talking.  It is really up to me.  And I am scared.  Do I want the talk?  I don’t want the talk.  I want to get carried away…..

…..

I want him.  I want him to kiss me the way he did the last time.  I want to moan under him.  I want him to touch my body.  I want to squirm under him and say his name.  Ahhh…

What had started as an experimental kiss had escalated very quickly for both of.  Both of us could feel the evidence of that escalation against each other.  I wanted to feel more of him and I knew he wanted it too.  It was difficult to ignore the hardness as he ground unconsciously on me.  When my fingers had moved to remove his shirt, he had stopped. 

 Why did he stop?  I wanted to do anything he would have wanted to do but he had stopped.  When he had stopped, I had looked into his eyes and realized I had needed to stop too.  If he had not stopped, I would have touched him.  I wanted to caress his body.  Move my hands all over his perfect abs that he works really hard for.  I wanted to appreciate them the only way I could.  them, them, kiss them….

I can feel my body respond to just the thoughts…

I would have gone all the way the first time.  I had not expected how my body would react to him.  I was surprised to find out how sensitive my body was that day. 

It was not really the same with my date that day….It was fun and all, but passion was different.  Just kissing Woo Bin had made me feel much more than the whole night with her..Sigh..That was a mistake.  I don’t know what I was thinking…

Am I turning completely gay?  I slept with a woman but this feels different.  Why?  Am I gay?  Or is it just Woo Bin?

……

It’s finally Friday Morning and I am feeling so good.  It is Friday!  I am going to see Woo Bin. 

I do a nervous check in my bedroom drawer to check if I have good supply of what we may need later.  Last thing I need is for us not to make progress because we don’t have the paraphernalia!! 

I have not been this nervous about any of my previous dates and this is not even a date.  But I can’t stand still..

Woo Bin in  7 hours and 27 minutes….

I don’t think we will be having a talk….I want different things….

Kim Woo Bin POV

Finally it is Friday.  I am going to see Jong Suk!  I am too excited..

I want to first find out how he feels.  He had with a woman.  May be he feels differently now.  Darn!  I don’t want him to feel differently.  I want him to want me….

I need to finish my shooting schedule…  Gosh.  I am going to die in anticipation of the evening.  How am I going to act the whole day?  It is going to be a torture!  May be I can think of Jong Suk for inspiration for all the scenes today. 

I play a bully in this drama but I am supposed to have been best friends with main lead in the past. 

Reminds me of my drama with Jong Suk.  The feelings are so different….

Ah well…..

….

I am finally  here.  Outside Lee Jong Suk’s door, calming my breathing.  I need to be in control and not let my emotions run wild.   Breathe.

I ring the bell and it is almost like he was waiting by the door.  It opens immediately and boy, he looks gorgeous.  He looks flushed which is a look that I am not very familiar with when it comes to him.  The only other time I have seen his face this way is when we kissed the last time.  I can’t help myself.  I don’t wait for the door to close.  I wrap my right hand around his waist, pull him closer and kiss his lips.  He responds immediately as if he has been waiting for this for a long time.  He wraps his hands around my neck, he opens his mouth, shoves his tongue in my mouth, plays the tug of war and then goes ahead and starts exploring my mouth. 

Looks like he learnt something new.  The door is still open.  I close the door with my free left hand without breaking the kiss and then I push him towards the wall.  I get really close to him, put my forehead on his forehead while I try and calm down.  He does not let me.  He pulls me closer, our crotches are touching.  He moves against me and moans.  Our kiss deepens.  All I hear is kissing sounds and with a lot of grinding.  This is going to too fast and neither of us is mentally ready.    I. Must. Stop. This.

I pull away.   Put my hands on his cheeks and touch my forehead to his.  He tries to kiss again.  I resist.  Darn!  His lips are swollen and he looks for the lack of better word, .  If he ever looks like this on the screen, I cannot imagine fans keeping their on them.  They have not really seen a Lee Jong Suk face.  I think it is the best face yet!  

I wonder if he looked like that when he did that with that girl. 

That thought cools me down immediately.  My heart rate comes down and I am glad because we both needed a moment of sanity here.  I whisper in his ear “We have lot of time.  Let’s talk first”. 

Another quick peck which he tries to deepen and I don’t let him.  I pull away quickly and I can’t believe he pouts!  Ha.  He can really pout…  I smile.  He then smiles back.  Our grins get wider and then we are grinning at each other like idiots.  I think we know something about our relationship now.  Not too many words are needed to know we are extremely attracted to each other’s bodies and find it difficult not to touch each other.   That is why I need to create a bit of distance right now so that we can have some talk.

I pull him towards the couch.  “Come, let’s talk a bit”.

Jong Suk: “Let’s not.  Let’s continue whatever we were doing”

“No.  We will need to talk a little bit to at least figure out what is going on”

JS: “I think we have established what is going on already, don’t you think?”

He tries to kiss me again.  Now he has a mischievous glint on his face.  Gosh, he really can do a lot with that face of his.  His lips and eyes can pull a thousand different expressions.  Where did he learn this?  Is this what they call charisma?   He clearly has that in spades!

Focus Woo Bin.

I continue to push him away and he pouts as usual.  I think he knows I am serious. 

JS: “Okay, Talk”

I want to know what he is feeling.  What has he been thinking about us? 

Me: “Have you thought about us? Where this is headed?”

He suddenly looks lost.  Moves his hand over his hair.  Looks at me.  I see uncertainty written all over his face.  

JS: “I have thought about nothing else last 5 weeks Woo Bin.  Friends with benefits?”

It bothers me.  I know love him.  I realized it when I had many weeks to think about what I was going through, the impatience I had felt, how jealous I had gotten, I cheated I had felt and how much I had missed him.   He is not just a friend with benefits to me.  I love him.

But I don’t let it show.  If that is what he wants to call this, then that is what this is.  I can deal with what I feel for him.  It does not matter.  Labels are not that important.  He does not ask me the same question. 

But I try to pry a little bit. 

Me: “So, if I go out with a girl, should I tell you?  How will you feel about that?”

He is quiet.  He is thinking. 

JS: “Honestly, I don’t know if I want to know.  If I know, I think I will feel jealous.  I know I should not.  So, I don’t know.  But it is not fair for me to ask you to change your life considering what we have is not really practical.  So, again, I am not sure.”

He is really honest.  Honestly, I don’t know as well.  But based on what I feel, I wonder if I am going out with anyone for a while unless it is business.  All I have been able to think is about him.  No one has interested me for a long time now.  Whenever I am free of work, the first person I think about is him.  Though we could not really hang out, I still thought of him.  It is unlikely that I am going to be attracted to anyone any time soon.  I don’t yet tell him that.  It may put pressure on him and will not really change anything.

We just have to go with the flow is what I think.  I expect we are going get hurt in the long run.  This is not going to be easy.  I almost suspect I am going to be more hurt than him. 

Sukkie watches me thinking.  I am sure he is wondering what is going on in my head.  I don’t really think we have resolved anything but just talking a little bit is removing the tension for me and I feel slightly better. 

This is good.  We needed to talk.

Me: “Do you understand we won’t have time to spend with each other like normal people?  That it is going to be hard?”

JS: “Yep.  That part bothers me but I ignore it.  This can’t be helped.  But we will have to see if we can make it a little more frequent…. “

He looks as if he is going to cry.  I am already missing him….Ours is helpless situation.  That is why we can’t get emotional about this too much. 

I pull him closer now.  Turn his face and give him a comfort kiss.  He understands.  His response is all gentle.  We sit like that.  Him leaning on my shoulder with my right hand on his head.  My left hand is on his thigh.  He has wrapped his left hand around my waist.  His right hand pulls my right hand and he is intervening his fingers with mine.  We sit like this, no talking.  Just in silence.  It is extremely comfortable but slightly melancholy.  As if we both know how difficult things may get for both of us.

I finally break the silence.

Me: “So, you had fun on your date?  I did not like it.”

LJS: “You have no reason to be jealous.  Our kiss at the door felt 100 times better than what I did with her whole night”

Me: “Whole night?”  I can’t ignore the anger that is building inside me.  I let go him abruptly and stand up.  I should not be angry.  I have already rationalized this in my head.  I did not want to bring this up but it happened anyway. 

Me: “I thought after our kiss, things would be different.”

LJS: “I am sorry.  I regretted it though.”

Me: “Why did you regret?”

LJS: “It felt like I was cheating on you”

I turn and look at him.  His acknowledgement how I actually felt gives me some relief. 

Me: “I felt cheated on”

He nods and looks away.  “This is not really friends with benefits is it?” he asks me rhetorically.

“It does not feel like it” I tell him.

He puts his head in his hands as he sits there.  I look for beer in his fridge.  

I sit next to him again opening both cans and taking a long sip from mine. 

We sit in silence for a while, deep in our own thoughts.  I wish I knew what he was thinking.  I want to break the ice..

After what feels like longest few minutes, he finally looks up.  Without looking at me, takes a sip of beer.  I watch his movements.  I think he feels my stare because he turns towards me.

He is hard to resist.  He has a great face.  A thousand expressions, a hundred different smiles… I may be exaggerating a bit here.  I smile to myself.  I look at him.  He looks at me.  His eyes move to my lips and back to my eyes.  The intensity changes.  There is no more thinking or talking.  I kiss him softly.  He puts his beer can down, puts his hands around my cheek and deepens the kiss.  I guess this is the time to get carried away finally…

I put my can down.  I pull him closer and explore his mouth.  My left hand is now inside his t-shirt and I am moving my hand on his chest.  I nibble his ear and move down on this neck.  He moans.  Gosh, his moans are such a turn on.  I give a small bite on his neck and he says Benniah…I want him to moan my name more.  So, I pull his t-shirt off.  He has added some muscles recently.  He has always been thin with no defined muscles.  Sometimes, he even was soft around is belly – not bothered to tone.  But now he is different.  He is fitter.  He has muscles and a great shoulder.  When did he get this shoulder?  And these arms!  My hands are exploring his chest, his arms, his abs and I bite his .  I wriggles around me.  He wants my t-shirt off and I oblige him.  His hands are all over me.  He pulls me back for a very wet, deep kiss.  Now we are panting like there is not enough oxygen left in our lungs. He kisses my neck, and then starts me all over.  I have goose bumps all over my body. 

He whispers in my ear “Shall we find a comfortable spot?”.  I did not think I could get even more excited.  I am rock hard and my clothes are constricting.  I know he is hard as well.  The bulge is showing.  I think bed is more comfortable.  So, wordlessly I get up and pull him towards the bedroom. 

We fall together and immediately come closer and continue kissing.  I try to get free from my cloths.  He says “Let me” and proceeds to unbuckle the belt, and pull the pants and boxers down.  I help him by kicking them down.  I am free and that feels good.  His hands are immediately head south and I moan his name. “Sukkia….”

He says “I love it when you say my name like that… “ 

“mmmmm”

My turn to get him .  I do that quickly.  I take him in my hand.  I never thought I would one day have a someone in my hand and like it. I look at him with wonder and think I made him feel this.  That turns me on.  I move my hand up & down his length.  Slowly at first.  I feel him accelerating his movement on me.  I get it.  He wants is faster.  All this time, we are kissing, and biting each other.  Careful not to leave any marks.  Our faces and bodies are money literally.  Have to be careful.  We both are sensitive to that.  We moan against each other.  We rub our bodies against each other.  His eyes are closed.  Face a little crunched up.  His lips are swollen.  He looks divine and I want him.  “ahhhh”  groan ”ahhhh” “I am coming ahhhh  AHHHH”.  With that, his is all over my hand, his stomach and bed sheet.  He shudders against my body.  Continues to move his hand up & down and I am close.  Ahhh… this feels AHHHHH…”Sukkia!”….I come in his hands the next few seconds.  I can feel his grin against my chest. 

It is the best I have felt in a long time.  Suddenly my eyes are wet.  I look at him and he looks drained. 

I take a few tissues that are there on his night stand.  I clean him and myself gently. 

He is moving his hands in his hair.  I pull him very close.  “How are you feeling?”  He looks at me.  “Are you kidding me?” look.  He snuggles closer.  “I did not expect to feel this”.  I ask “What?”.  “Whatever this is”….He sighs contently.  We snuggle.

Next thing we know, we have lost 2 hours.  It is almost close to mid night.  We simply slept in each others arms.  The room smells of .  Bed sheets feel a little sticky.  Sukkie stirs against me.  I hold him close and kiss his head.  He looks up and I am yet again.  ….

It’s going to be one wicked night!