Kim Woo Bin’s POV

I hear his voice in the room.  It immediately envelops me.  I do not know how this meeting will go.  I gather my wits and turnaround to look at the source.  Hoping he is looking for me too.  But, nope, he is busy with others. 

Someone nudges me.  “Go, your friend is here.”

I grin my easy grin.  “Yeah.  I will give him some time to greet the others”

He moves to the second group but does not look for me.

I am disappointed.  I feel heartbroken.  Not even one glance at me Jong Suk?  I don’t let my emotion show anything different. 

I wait patiently.  I nod to the conversation around me distractedly.  My whole body is now tuned to his frequency.  I steal glances at him, waiting. 

And then, finally, he looks up.

Our eyes connect. 

What do you see Sukkie?  Do you see me?  How have you been?  Are you feeling what I am feeling right now?  Was your breath taken away too seeing me?  Did your heart skip a beat or two or three?  Were you filled with inexplicable warmth?  Did your chest tighten too? Why do you have that camera smile Sukkie?  It is me.  Smile as if you are happy to see me.  Smile at me the way you smiled at me once. 

I am rooted to the spot.  For that brief moment, everything disappears.  It is just me and him. 

He breaks the spell with a grin and a wave and then goes back to talking to others completely nonchalant.  I thought I saw something when our eyes met.  But maybe it was just me. 

A grin and a wave.  That is what I get for being on edge all these days, just waiting for this moment when we saw each other again.

“Go, meet your friend.  He is waving at you” someone tells me.

I suppress every emotion that I feel deep inside.  I am sure he is putting on a performance and I will have to reciprocate.  I walk over to him, tap him on his shoulder and pull in for a friendly hug. 

Is this what you want Jong Suk?  If this is what you want right now, I will make it comfortable for you.  But, we will talk.  You won’t be able to escape me.  I am not giving up now.

…..

Five hours of script reading with short breaks, he does talk to me once.  We are among a group of people.  I can’t get aggressive.  If he needs his space, I am going to give it to him.  We have a lot of time now.  I have waited for a very long time.  I can wait for few more days.

…..

When we finally finish for the day, I go to him quickly. 

“Jong Suk, do you want to have dinner together?”

Jong Suk looks at his manager. 

“Sorry Kim Woo Bin, he has another meeting in 2 hours.  We have to leave”

“Sorry, may be some other time” says Sukkie. 

“How about tomorrow?” I insist.

Manager says he has schedules till the shooting starts.

“Sorry” he says again.

 You are making this harder than it needs to be Sukkie.

“Alright, when we start shooting then” I tell him.  I make sure my disappointment show. 

“How is your girlfriend?” he asks me casually. 

“Oh.  I don’t have a girlfriend” I tell him.  I don’t need any confusion or misunderstanding.

He looks at me suddenly.  His guard has dropped just a little bit as if he is surprised.  But it is back on again.

“I am sorry to hear that” he says.

“Don’t worry about it.  I never really had a girlfriend” I tell him.  I look into his eyes, willing for him to understand. 

“Right” he says.  I don’t really know what that means.

“I hope you get one soon.  It must get lonely” he says brightly. 

“It is lonely” I agree with him.  “Aren’t you the same?” I ask him.

“I get by.  Used to it now” he tells me.  “I think I have to leave now.  See you”

….

Well, it was a conversation of some sorts. 

I am confused.  A little battle-scarred.  A little drained. 

I wish I know what he is feeling.  He is too easy.  Too nonchalant.  Too uncaring. 

Is he putting on a façade?  What should I do next?

…..

I am almost ready for the answer when his manager says he can’t give me Jong Suk’s phone number when I call him the next day.  He promises to give him the message.

…..

Two days before the shooting starts, I get a call from Sukkie late at night.

It is an unfamiliar number.  I don’t know it is him when I answer the call.  When his voice comes through, I almost drop the phone in shock.

“Hey, it’s me” he says.

“Hey” I tell him.  I feel the tension with just that exchange.

“I want us to feel comfortable with each other” he says.

“I have moved on but it is a little awkward.  So, will you work with me?” he continues.

“No” I tell him.  No way.  “I have not moved on.  I have been waiting”

“What do you mean?” he asks.  I am sure he is not that dumb.

“I still love you.  I have not moved on.  So, no.  If that makes you uncomfortable, you will have to deal with it”

His silence stretches the moment.  I wait for his answer, holding the phone so tightly. 

“Well I have.  So, you will have to deal with it” he says testily.

“We will see when we meet.  You can look me in the eye and tell me that and if I believe it, I will simply have to change my tactics.  Does not mean I am going to give up” He might as well know.

Silence again.  Why is he resisting?  Has he really moved on?  Does he have someone in his life may be?

“Good night then.  Please don’t call me back”

“Wait Sukkie”

“Please don’t call me that anymore” he says and disconnects.

…..

There will have to be a lot of chasing….

Unless he has someone else, I am not going to give up.

And, there can’t be someone else.  He belongs to me and me alone.

I just have to do better.

…..