Kim Woo Bin’s POV

It felt good that nothing has changed between us. 

…..

He has been just wallowing in self-pity.  He has been going through a lot of stress and his own anxiety about his career and his own skills.  He has been overthinking everything and was in need of a sounding board.  The fact that we could not see each other just added to his stress and he simply decided to withdraw.

I understand him.  He is when it comes to self-analysis.  Acting is the only thing that fills him with passion and the only thing he knows.  He is never satisfied.   

But, I don’t like the way treats our relationship.  Not when what we have is something precious.

When I simply could not get in touch with him and I finally asked his manager how he was doing and Manager told me he was not doing well.

I finally had a Friday with a light schedule and decided to let myself in his apartment after work Thursday night.

Shock was written all over his face.  He did look terrible.  As if he was simply not taking care of himself.  He had lost of weight again. 

It made me angry to see him like that.

I should have been careful with him but touching and kissing him again and my anger and frustration at his behavior…

Ah well…I am never going to lose my control again…

I need to do better. 

He is vulnerable.  I love him.

…..

“I am here okay?” I tell him again and again as he sobs against me.

“Are you in pain?” I ask him again.

I feel his nod.  Right now, I almost feel he is a child in my arms, crying to his mommy because he bruised his knee.  I almost want to laugh but I know he is not crying because of the physical pain.

“Do you want a warm bath?  I can make it ready for you” I ask him. 

He nods again.

I squeeze him tight and try to go to the bathroom.  He holds on to me. 

So, I don’t let go. 

I move my hand in his hair gently as he sorts out whatever he is sorting out in his head. 

“I am here now” I tell him again.

We stay that way for few more minutes.

“Do you want me to put a band aid on it and kiss it?” I ask him. 

I finally hear a snort.  That eases the general mood.

I squeeze him again as I smile back. 

“Bath?”

He nods and allows me to go to the bathroom to get his bath ready.

When I come back to the bathroom, he is trying to stand and wincing in pain.

I should feel really bad but reminder of why he feels that way actually makes me feel hot. 

I am a starved .  Stop.

“Need help?” I ask him leaning against the door. 

I think he sees my mood.

“You are a bastard” he tells me. 

Well, looks like we are back to calling each other names.  He does not sound angry. 

I try and look apologetic.  But what comes out is a smirk.

He throws a pillow at me while struggling to stand. 

“Don’t strain yourself” I tell him as I catch the pillow in my hand.

He throws another one which hits my face.

“Bastard” I growl and attack him as I push him to bed.  He howls at the pain but his howling is mixed with laughter and we roll around the bed tickling, biting a bit, mostly him biting me..

My heart feels lighter.

“Bastard” he says again and I hold him tight and kiss him till he pants for breath.

“Go for bath now”

He does and I go to the bathroom with him.

“ert” he says.

I wait for him relax into to the tub, pull the corner stool and sit and watch him relax.

“Feel better?” I ask him.  He nods.

And we talk….

He talks and I listen. 

……

Later, I take a shower myself and we both are suddenly hungry.

At least there is food in his refrigerator. 

“Are you losing weight?” I ask him.

“Not much.  But I will beef up soon.”

……

“When is your movie promotion starting?” I ask him.  It gets hectic during promotion.  Hours and hours of interviews, photo shoots, press conferences drains you completely. 

“You need to take care of your health” I tell him

“Yes mommy” he tells me.

…..

“Aren’t you tired?” he asks me. 

“It’s okay.  I have a light day.  Plus I saw you.  I feel better”

…..

“Let’s go to bed” he suggests.  “No hanky panky.  Just sleep”

“Come on..  Some hanky panky is in order don’t you think?” I make a disappointed face.

“Tomorrow” he promises.

“Aren’t you boiling youth?” I .

“That joke is getting old” he tells me.  I suppose.

…..

“I am sorry” he says when we snuggle in bed. 

I just squeeze him tight as I drift into a dreamless sleep. 

…..

…..

I wake up when the alarm goes off feeling refreshed.  I feel his fingers caressing my face as he rests his head on one of his hands looks at me.

“What a view to wake up to…” I tell him.

He seems to have woken up before me and he looks as if he is already washed up.  His dark circles seem to have almost gone.  He looks bright, content. 

“You can have this view everyday” he tells me.

“I want to… “I tell him decisively. 

I do want to.  I want to live with him when he is in his apartment and I am in Seoul.  I just have to figure out how to make it happen without it becoming an issue.

…..

“When do you have your schedule?” as we sip our morning coffee.

“Around 5.  We have till about 4 in the evening.  What do you want to do?” I ask him.

“Nothing much we can do.  So, just hang?”

I agree.

…..

So, we hang.  I will have to miss my gym.  It has been very irregular recently due to how busy my life has gotten. 

So, I ask him help me exercise a little bit and he agrees.  “What a boring man you are Woo Bin”…

He does not like to work out but both of us have to.  At least I enjoy it.

….

He holds my legs as I do sit ups.  He counts as I do the pushups.

“Can’t you get that exercise in more interesting ways?” he asks me.

He has weights in his apartment.  So, I do a few more shoulder, biceps. 

He starts becoming restless.

“Enough already!” he complains like a child.

“Do your sit ups!” I yell at him.

“ off” he says.

“You are useless” I shake my head as I pump my muscles. 

Finally I am breaking a sweat and back to shower I go.

……

I come out drying my hair and he is sitting on the couch hugging his legs, watching something.

“What are you watching?” I ask him.

“Medical drama.”

“Why that specific?”

“My next one is medical drama” he says.

I knew he had to start working again… “When does it start?”

“About three months, premiering in spring”

I take a deep breath.  “So, we have to use these three months huh?”

Once the drama starts, it is nonstop for almost 3 months.  If you are the lead actor, then, there is very little rest.  Those are the months; we simply cannot imagine getting any time for each other. 

So we plan.  I have a movie coming up soon.  I have commercials to shoot.  Movie schedule tends to be less punishing than Drama schedule.  So, we will have to work around all that.

He has a China trip coming up as well.  I have to go to New Zealand for a photo shoot.

Hang on…I have not told him something.  I am suddenly reminded of something that will make Jong Suk insanely jealous.

A sudden laugh escapes me.

“What?” he grins at me just responding to my laughter.

“I am not going to tell you” Well, torturing him a bit is so much fun.

“What? What?” obviously that is making him all the more curious. 

“It is a very interesting thing.  If you want to hear it, then you have to pay for it!” I tell him, laughing.

He is ready to play the game. 

“What do you want?” he hits me.

I dance my eyebrows. 

“What erted thoughts are running in your head?” he ask me as he hits me with the remote.

“Ouch…Now I will not tell.   Hitting me is not the best way”

“How about this?” he dances his own eyebrows.  He does not have eyebrow skills.  He just looks funny trying hard.  But his eyes look adoringly mischievous as he puts his hand down my pajamas.

“Mmmm…may be.  We will see the results first”

“ert”

I laugh and let him wake the sleeping giant.  Giant?!! 

Soon we both are exchanging heated kisses.  I push him down the couch.  My hand roams around his back.

“Whoa whoa whoa” he says pushing me.

“Clearly you want this more right now.  So, before anything, tell me why you were laughing”

Argh… Entirely my fault.  I lost this game.

Now I want him and I dug myself a nice hole. 

“When did you get this smart?” I ask him.

He giggles.  “Tell me”

“I am doing a shoot with your crush” I sit up straight crossing my hands, waiting for his reaction.  This is going to be so much fun.

His face makes a round.  “Who? Nooo…Really?  Nooo..Reallyl?!!”

The expressions on his face a priceless.  He is excited and he is reminded it is me who is doing the shoot and then he is jealous. 

“Arrghh.  You should have refused!”

“Yeah right!” I tell him.

“I don’t want to talk to you now”

“I will tell her how much our Jong Suk loooveees her” I try to pacify him

“Don’t you dare!” He shouts.

Yes, this is fun!  I feel content doing the bickering.

….

“Now the pay the price” I tell him.

“Why should I?  you should instead console me.” He counters.

Ah well…Some battles are best lost.  Especially when there is so much to gain by the loss.

So, I console him for almost an hour.  In bed.  Till he begs me to stop saying he is fully consoled.

I tell him I feel he needs to be consoled more.

It has been the most exhausting yet most relaxing day I have had for a very long time.  Months to be exact.

There is no way, I will throw this away for anything.  There is no way, I will let him throw this away for anything.  I will fight to make this work.

…..