The best of me

"What is wrong with your friend, Jimin?" The girl asks when Dahee walks away from them. She rolls her eyes as she looks at Dahee's back, annoyed with her sudden behavior. She blinks away from her small figure to looks at Jimin who somehow, looks melancholy. Jimin keeps his mouth shut, not even uttering a word. Puzzled with his action, the girl takes Jimin's hand on hers. With that, Jimin suddenly woke up from his short daydream. 

He looks lost. "Huh..What?" His face shows disappointment when Dahee's back completely gone.

"I said, what is wrong with your friend?" The girl repeats her question one by one while judging his reaction. Still, nothing on his face. Lost.

"You know what, let's just go. Do not acted this way. We should celebrate your birthday today." Fed up with Jimin losing himself, the girl suggest something to do for his birthday party.

"Yeah, let's go." Jimin shook his head twice, trying to regain his consciousness. He just agrees with the girl's idea. Perhaps, Dahee has something urgent to settle, that is why she left. Jimin tries to come out with other thing to make himself feel better. He does not know why he suddenly feel dejected and he does not know why he didn't run after Dahee. His legs just stuck on the ground as if the gravity is pulling him hard. 

The girl hugs Jimin's arm with a cheerful smile plastered on her face while humming to the random song. Jimin looks at her and then his arm, at how close they are right now but none of them feel real. None of them feel butterflies in the stomach. It's not her. It's always Dahee. Dahee. 

Ignoring what his heart told him, both of them walks away from his house. Maybe forgetting this sad feeling on his special day is the best thing to do. 

-

It hurt, it did hurt when I saw someone, I slowly falling into cared for other girl. The girl which I don’t even know her existence all this time. It double hurt when my heart started to open for him. I don’t know what I should do. I’m confused as well. What is this feeling. I cannot sort out this kind of feeling. This is too much for me.

After the incident, I quickly left those two without thinking twice. I cannot bear watching them anymore. What if I burst out crying in front of them? Do I lose then?

About the gift for Jimin, I think it is the best way if I just keep it to myself. He did not care much though I guess. The best present for him already besides him.

“Okay now, don’t be sad Dahee-ah. There is a lot of thing to be happy right now. Be happy for Jimin is the best thing you can do!” I cheer for myself while look at the wide sky. Yeah, that is the best things to do right now. If you can make him happy, why not let other fill in the happiness for the one who you care a lot. That is enough. That is love.

But for the last time, I still want to give him the present I choose before. Maybe this is the last present I’ve given. Making a U-turn, I walk to Jimin’s house, hoping that they won’t be there since I am not ready to face them after those incidents just now.

As I arrive in front of his house, I let out a relief sigh. Good, they are not here.

“So, Park Jimin, I guess this is the end of our story. I’m sorry to say all of this. I enjoy most of your company, but it seems like I’m the one who feel that way. I guess you don't feel the same way as me. Perhaps, you never feel anything about me. So, this is my last goodbye before we parted away from each other life.”

With that, I leave the big blue-sky boxes in front of his house and walk away into the orange purplish colour of the sky. The sun almost set at that time. love sure is hard but somehow, I don’t feel sad about it. All this time even Jimin didn’t say anything about me, I did enjoy his presence. Love is kinda complicated. I chuckle to myself when the memories of meeting him till now flash in my memory. It taught me a lot about love, and I think I’m fine right now. thank you, I’m sorry and I love you, Park Jimin.