Butterfly

It's been a week since Jimin got discharged from the hospital. Right after Jimin got permission to left the hospital, I decide to go back to Seoul. The school holiday almost comes to the end and somehow I don't want to remember any of our moments at Busan. Its such a pity. There's a lot of painful memories that involved me and Jimin. 

After that incident, I am deeply regretful about the mistakes that night. I look at the outside view through the window. Somehow, my eyes busily search for something that could comfort my heart. The sunlight fell on the lonely window making it glow. I just like the sunlight very much. Weirdly, its kind of soothing for me. Just being under the sun can make me smile and forget all the problems I've got.

About Jimin. I feel bad whenever I'm thinking about him. All this time, I had misunderstood Jimin's intention. I just believed what I saw without any doubt. I don't even try to understand Jimin's state. All this time, the strange guy that keep following me is not Jimin. Jimin just happen to be there where he's not supposed to be.

First meeting with Jimin is wrong. The timing and places is just wrong. And because of that, I keep misunderstanding him. The truth is he was trying to protect me secretly from that guy. Perhaps, Jimin already know about that guy's existence. The guy that almost kill him back in Busan. We already make a report about that guy. I hope the police will find him soon. 

I'm sorry, Park Jimin. For all those misunderstanding. I should know better.

I walk away from the window frame and stroll to my makeup table. Standing in front of the mirror, I fix my gaze on the reflection of my face. My hair is so messy even though I tie it. Ignoring my appearance right now, I look straightly at my own eyes and lost in my own thought. 

"You're so fool, Dahee." My lips crack the moment I spill those words. 

Once again, I look into the mirror. The girl in front of me do the same thing as me. She's staring at me back with those dark-brown orb, as if we're having an eye contest. 

But why? Just why, I see a different girl in those mirror. The girl that look so pathetic with the pearl-shaped tears rolling down her cheeks. She's crying...but why my cheek also feel wet from the tears. The tears burst forth like water from a dam, spilling down my face. I feel the muscles of my chin tremble like a small child and I look toward the window, as if the light could soothe me.

The guilty feeling hit me hard. I can't help but blame myself because of Jimin's injury. What if he didn't survived that day. It's all because of me. I put him in trouble yet I left him, try to save my own self. I close my eyes for a while. 

I hope I could disappear.

The sound of clock ticking caught my attention. Slowly, I open my eyes and look at the clock that hang nicely on the printed wall. 4PM. Still early in the evening. Perhaps, I should go out and take some fresh air. If I still stay in this room, the sadness won't go away and my mind is full with the incident.

Wiping the remaining tears with the back of my hand, I look at the mirror once again. I pull out the hair band on my hair and put my hair up into a ponytail. My eyes don't really look red from crying and I'm kind of relieved. Its easier for me to go out if my eyes didn't look swollen from crying just now. I don't have to wear the spectacle where I really don't like it. I feel like something block my face if I wear one. After check out for the final look, I exit my room and make my way to the front door. While putting on my shoes, I keep thinking about where should I go.

"Should I go to mural town? I could spend my time there." I wander around as I ask myself. The mural town sounds perfect. Its enough to make me happy by imagining it. Plus, its contributing to the relaxed ambience. That's it. I must go there. I really need some healing time.

I smile as I saunter to the path that leads me to that town. Its not really far from my house. If I go there by bus, it might take a few minutes but I decide to just walk there. I want to enjoy the natural wind and a little bit of sunlight. Perhaps, I can calm down for a bit. The weather is so nice and it will be perfect with some music play on. I take out my phone from my pocket and unlock the screen. I press the music file and choose my favorite song. Spring Day by BTS. Perfect.

"What are you listening to?" Someone pull out my left earphone and I hear a guy voice behind me. A familiar voice.

I turn to my back and see a smiling Jimin. The boy wears a loose white shirt and blue jeans. However, he got better the more I looked. His rich chocolate hair that had tousled griminess which promised finesse. His strong arched brows and eyelashes so thick, it could be illegal. And then his eyes, they were deep and catastrophic. His pale skin made him look devilishly handsome. Why does Jimin looks different today. Somehow, I froze at my own spot, lost in my own pace. Perhaps, he does looks like this from our first meeting. Its just me that didn't pay any attention to him.

"Jimin? Shouldn't you be at Busan right now?" I look at him, puzzled with his sudden appearance. He does look much better the last time I saw him at the hospital.

"I came back to Seoul yesterday." Once again, he smiles. The wind mess up his hair yet he still attractive. 

"How about your wound?" I don't know why but the question kind of dragging my mood down. I still feel guilt about it.

"Oh, about that. I already recover from the wound. I'm fine, look!" Jimin acts silly while showing his biceps. I admit that he does has a big biceps. Maybe he went for a workout at a gym. "So, stop blaming yourself. Its not even your fault." His lips form a straight line. He looks serious.

"But.."

"No but this time." Jimin cut off my words. And this time, he's smiling again. "Where are you going?" Jimin asks as he looks around us. Wondering.

"Mural town. I just want to clear my mind." I said while pointing at the straight path. His eyes moves, following my forefinger. "And you? Why are you here?" Its kind of weird though. How can he ended up being here? 

"I just stroll around the town and happen to saw you walk alone." Jimin simply said. We just stand there for a while since none of us utter a words after that.

Should I ask him to go with me?

I have a lonely battle with myself, thinking whether to ask him or not. Noticing my action, Jimin suddenly voices up. 

"Can I follow you to the mural town?" He's in doubt. Maybe he afraid of getting rejected. "If you don't like it, I could-"

This time, I cut off his words. "Sure."

Jimin grins like a little child getting an approve to go to the playground. Somehow, it makes me smile too. We walk side by side to the mural town. Having a company to laugh and chat is better than walking alone in this nice weather. I watch my feet take steps across the grassy path next to the canvas sneaker beside me. How I wish to turn back the time to where I met him for the first time. If I don't push him too far, he won't suffering as much as he is right now and mayhap we could know each other better.

After walk for several minutes, we reach the mural town. I gawk unabashedly at the passing scenery, then stare wide-eyes as the path is full with mural painting. Jimin looks at me with a grin beaming from ear to ear. I can tell that he also feel the same way as me. He jogs to the one of the painting and lean on it. The butterfly painting. I chuckle when I saw him standing there. What a tough butterfly.

"Come on, Dahee. Take my photo." He beams as he already strike a pose. I feel kind of happy that he likes it here. Perhaps we could heal our own wound by being there for each other. 

I quickly walk in front of him and take out my phone as he wants. Ready, smile.

In some way, by looking at Jimin with butterfly behind him make me think of butterfly effect. Small causes can have larger effect. His presence is small yet bring a lot of unexpected things.

"Let's go." Jimin takes my hand in his and we stroll through the beautiful path.

Jimin POV

I take her hand in mine and lead her to the stall nearby. In this hot weather, its perfect to have an ice cream. We get into the stall and Dahee pulls my hand when she saw an ice cream container. The way she smiles put my heart in a whirl and somehow the times move in slow motion. She is smiling. Perhaps 'smile' isn't the right word for it. The top row of teeth is showing and there is a faint curve to her lips, but there was no crease the eyes, no movement of the cheek. On anyone else, it would be a grin at best. On her face, however, it is a sign of bliss.

"Which one do you want?" Dahee's voice make me startled for a while. I was so immerse into her that I forget that we actually in the stall.

"Same as you." I simply said. My mind can't cooperate well right now. I can't even think an answer to a simple question. 

"Okay then." She takes two chocolate flavor and put it at the counter. I go beside her and about to pay for the ice cream but Dahee quickly hands the money to the cashier. "My treat." She said while put the ice cream into the plastic bag. She sure is a fast one. "Let's go."

We exit the stall and sit at the bench provided by the stall maybe since its near the ice cream stall. Dahee takes out our ice cream and put one in front of me. She tears the plastic and begin to eat her ice cream. I keep looking at her, forgetting about my ice cream.

"What are you looking at? Eat your ice cream. It will melt soon." She waves her ice cream in front of me and point to my almost melt ice cream. 

"Huh? Uh, I'm about to eat my ice cream." I quickly take the ice cream and tears the plastic. Without thinking much, I put the whole ice cream into my mouth and the coldness hit me hard. Brain freeze alert. "Argh, my head. So cold." I press my palm on my temple and close my eyes tightly.

A giggle could be heard while I close my eyes. Aish, why are you acting like this Park Jimin. You look so silly right now in front of her. I mentally cursed myself as I open my eyes and look at the girl in front of me. She's laughing, amused by my silly action. Curse my clumsiness.

"Are you okay?" She asks as she looks at me. Half worried, half laughing.

"Yes, I'm okay. Nothing serious though." I try to act cool as I compose myself. This is so uncool actually. Once again, she is laughing.

This girl is so dangerous. I can feel my heart pounding in my chest. The beating get louder and louder, surely if there is something there, it can hear this cacophonous thrumming rhythm. I am mesmerize by the lively eyes that happen to be in front of me.