Listen to this :) It's okay even if it hurts by snsd Seohyun

Kikwang didn't care how cold the wind is as he tries to run through the thick crowd. There's only an image of you waving him goodbye in his head and he couldn't take the pain. 

"Jaehwa." he kept mumbling your name as he searched for you.

after half an hour, he finally broke down. Tears seems to fall endlessly but he didn't care. He didn't even care how people look at him with pity as he cried his heart out in such a merry place.

"Kikwang?" a voice called him.

He looked up and stand up when he saw Junhyung and the rest of his friends standing in front of the bench, looking at him in worry.

"She left. She left" kikwang kept saying.

Jaejoong's eyes widened.

"SH*T!" he cursed.

"Did she really.." Hyunah can't finish her sentence, choked with tears.

"She left. After the confession she left... hyung.." Kikwang let out a bitter laugh.

Yongguk lowered his head to hide the tears that has fallen down.

"Let's go home. I'll get some people to search for her." Junsu said.

They all nodded lifelessly.

***

The 30 minutes road back seems like hours for them. The only thing you can hear inside the cars would be the crying of Hyunah and Kikwang while the rest of them cried silently.

Yongguk entered the room first and saw boxes and a stack of letters on the table. 

"Is this... she left this for us?" Thunder took the letters.

"this is crazy." Junhyung said as he stormed towards your room, only to find it empty and clean. 

Everything's gone. The only thing that stayed would be the frame on your small desk. It's a photo of you and the rest of them few months ago.

"This idiot." he finally cried, since he's also one of the closest to you, as he reads the note you left on the desk.

'i want you guys to go back to this time. :)'

"Oppa?" hyunah entered the room and saw him crying.

"Hyunah.. it hurts... she's like a sister and .. and.." Junhyung couldn't finish his sentence.

"I know..." hyunah cried and hugs him.

The apartment was filled with the saddest cry and even Jaejoong who always looked so tough can't help but cry as he read the letter you left him.

Everyone took the box you gave them and opened it.

'it's a christmas present for you! merry christmas. I'm sorry i won't be there with you <3' you wrote on each boxes.

"I miss her already." Zelo mumbled.

***

Listen to this

***

You on the other hand are trying your best not to cry. Joon was next to you, watching how you'd look up so the tears won't fell down.

"It's okay to cry." he whispered but you shook your head and smile.

"I miss them. I miss jaejoong oppa, i miss yongguk oppa. i miss kikwang oppa... i miss hyunah and junhyung.. i miss everyone..." you finally burst into tears.

Lee Joon's heart cringe at the mention of Kikwang.

He knew he has completely lost his chance. But his evil side kept telling him to keep you for himself.

"It'll be okay.. " he caresed your back.

"It won't... i really love him oppa. i even confessed before i left.." you cried.

Lee Joon sighed.

'should i just go back?' he thought but he shook it off.

'no. she'll love me eventually... right?' he uneasily thought.

***

2011/12/20 tuesday

By Seoulchae