Hyunah decided to take a stroll along the han river to ease her mind. It's been a tiring day for her. She had a mission and school. But that wasn't enough, she had to find out that her bestest and closest friend is the person 4Minute, BEAST, and MBLAQ have been looking for.

She sat on one of the bench and buttoned her coat, putting her hands on the pocket as she shivered a little due to the weather.

Her tears once again fell down. She couldn't get rid of the guilty feeling when she found out Jaehwa is Jaejoong's little sister. How can she be so blind all this time, she thought. And realization hits her as she recaps Jaehwa's changes in attitude earlier at school.

She was trembling. She kept holding Yongguk's hand, like a little kid holding her mother's hand. She looks pale and she's quieter.

How can she not notice that?

Hyunah sighed and looked at the evening view. Christmas is approaching, she thought as she admires the beautiful lights and christmas trees. But the warmth of christmas didn't reach her heart. She's too drown in guilt.

Hyunah never knew who her parents were. All she knows is that she lives in an orphanage ever since she was little and when she turned 16, she left and find an apartment to live in. It was small but she liked it. She had to work after school and study till late. 

She vaguely remembers her childhood as a toddler. An image of two little girls in a park flashed through her mind. 

'Hyunaaaah~!' the little girl cried, approaching the other girl who seemed to be the smaller version of her.

"waee?" little hyunah asked and her eyes widened when she saw the little girl's arm had bruises.

"who did this?" Hyunah gritted her teeth.

the little girl cried louder and hyunah hugs her. She whispered the culprit in hyunah's ear and hyunah's eyes flamed in anger.

"wait here. I'll get your oppa. I'm going to do something." Hyunah said.

"Don't go... please... i don't want to go home..." the little girl cried.

Hyunah's heart cringed at her tears. 

"araso. i'll stay.." she smiled and pat the little girl's head.

'woah.. what is that?!' Hyunah's snapped back to reality. 

She shook her head and her eyes caught something few meters ahead. It was him. She gasped a little and tears endlessly fell down when she noticed another girl was standing next to him as they walked closer to her.

She quickly wiped her tears and curve her lips upwards when the couple saw her.

"what are you doing here?" He asked.

"I'm enjoying the view." she said non chalantly, trying to surpress her irregular heartbeat.

"Pabo. You'll freeze to death. Go home, Hyunah." His caring voice caused her to look at his warm eyes.

"Is this your- your girlfriend?" Hyunah changed the topic, hoping the answer would be 'No'.

Her heart once again shattered when he nods shyly.

"y-yeah." 

"oh.. you look good together." hyunah forced a smile.

"Hello" the girl bowed at her.

"hi. I'm Hyunah." hyunah said, holding out her hand. 

"i'm Hara. Nice to meet you, Hyunah-ssi" The petite girl shook her hand and smile.

"Well i guess i better go. don't want to disturb your date. Bye Hara! Bye Junhyung oppa." Hyunah said and waved at them as she turned around and walked away.

'damn it.' she cursed in her head when tears once again fell down endlessly.

'damn it. damn it. damn it. why does it hurt so much?' she wiped away her tears.

She took out her phone and texts the only person that knew her best, telling her that she needs her.

a minute later, she got a reply, telling her to come to her apartment.

Hyunah smiles at the text, glad that her bestest friend still wants to be with her after what happened.

Going back to the apartment she visited an hour ago, she was greeted with the warmest hug.

"i'm so sorry, Hyunah." she whispered.

"It hurts, Jaehwa... i know he has a girlfriend but to see it with my own eyes..." Hyunah breaks down.

"it'll be okay," you said.

"Nothing went right in my life. I almost kill my bestest friend and i lost him." 

"Stop blaming yourself. You didn't kill me, didn't you? and you said you'll protect me. That's more than enough. Beside, you should be thankful you knew. I could get you a private fan-meet with JYJ" you joked and Hyunah giggled.

"yeah, true." she smiled at you.

***

2011/12/08  thursday 

By Seoulchae