* The Letter To Yoon Jeonghan :

Dear Jeonghan ,

                        I don't expect you to know me . I have three things I need to make it clear to you . One , I have a crush on you . Two , it doesn't matter. And three, your hair suits you. It's seems so stupid yet so right for any girl to fall for you , like seriously. The way you wear your tie so undenyingly messy , the way you always tie your hair up in a ponytail , the way you charm your way out of trouble when you get caught by teachers . Just who can manage that ? Who in their right mind would like a troublemaker like you ? I know the answer , no one's in their right mind . We're all surrounded by idiots around the globe , so every stupid girl will fall for your charms. I'm not afraid to admit that , I am also an idiot. You may not be an easy guy , but I'm also not stupid enough to let you get to me easily. You might be a badboy , but I'm plain hard to get . Good luck on that .

                                                                                                                                                                                   Yours truly , Minju .

I had no idea Yoon Jeonghan was the biggest charmer of girls , no wonder so many girls loved him . I soon realized the whole ' badboy' act he was doing was actually a fake , he never intended to hurt me at all . 

He promised what he said , the date at the theme park this Saturday . To be honest , I was kind of excited compared to the date I had with Seungcheol . It wasn't because he really treated me like a jewel , but the way he liked to keep me guessing . 

All I got to see was his face or silouhette during brief glances in the hallway , it made me wonder if all that happened the previous week was actually a dream ? All the pestering , harassing and attention just vanished , poof ! What was he thinking ? 

I knew badboys liked to keep people wondering , but it was really frustrating ! It was like an optical illusion , he was something that was there and wasn't there . Someone that used to pester me around m and now was all silent. Someone I knew but couldn't touch .

All my questions were to be answered this Saturday .

I didn't act like I had to dress up or anything , for some reason I was determined that Jeonghan didn't mind . I put on my ripped jeans , flanel and chuck taylors and nothing else .

He told me to wait near the rock records shop down the street leading to the local pub. So there I was , standing awkwardly outside the shop , waiting for him as drunkards stubled out of the pub to my right . Some guy even tried to puke on me , and ended up passing out outside the records shop .

But still , I had the nerve to wait for him until the very end.

He eventually came , half an hour later . He didn't look guilty at all , merely relaxed . And I wasn't the type to be feisty or aggressive , so I didn't protest . He was wearing a leather jacket , aviators , boots and his hair was let loose , reching his shoulders . Still , he pulled everything off.

" You're early . " he said to me .

" Technically , you're late . " I said in a small voice .

He shrugged , " I had stuff to do , sorry about that . C'mon , the night's still young . "

We walked side by side , like any other couple . Were we considered a couple ? He didn't even talk to me much , and I just stayed quiet . What made me confused and thrilled altogether was he suddenly held my hand carelessly , our fingers interwined. He had soft hands , so I didn't mind . I wasn't used to going out with boys , were they supposed to do that ? I mean , Seungcheol progressed really quickly , he wanted to kiss me after the movie ...

Was holding hands the first step ?

He didn't give a damn about that issue , like he had experience before . But then again , he was popular , of course he had gone out with someone else before , that was obvious . That meant I was the one over thinking , because this was like a first timing . 

I was so intense in figuring out our status , I didn't realize where he was taking me . It was dark , eerie , I didn't know where it was but I was positive it wasn't an amusement park . 

" Where are we going ? " I asked him . He wasn't going to-

" Don't worry , I'm not gonna you . " he said , annoyed . " You always ask questions , don't you ? "

" I have a right to know . " I defended myself . " Where exactly are we going ? "

" Somewhere better than an amusement park , somewhere we can have fun . " 

So we walked silently into a dark abyss , I had no idea the place I had been living my whole life was so much more than I had ever imagined . The place we were at the moment used to be an open space , an empty warehouse , unused . 

Now it was packed with people , and blaring lights , and music , loud music. It was an underground concert , like a kalaeidoscope of chaos and excitement with tons of people . People of all sorts of backgrounds , clothes , appearence , I felt like an outsider . 

I looked at Jeonghan , he wasn't serious ?! He smirked and guided me to the tons of people . 

" What now ? " I yelled through the loud music . 

He looked at me again,non-chalantly . " What do you think you should do ? Have fun ! "

" Aren't we underage ? We're seventeen ! " I resaoned . 

" There is no age limit in here ! Stop worrying ! " he laughed cooly and started dissolving into the crowd. 

" Wait-" I called out , but he was already gone .

So much for a nice date...

I had no choice but to join in with the crowd , even if nothing about me matched them . The music was EDM , it seemed like a disco . My eyesight blurred , I couldn't see the difference between boy or girl anymore , red or blue , devil or angel anymore . Men were swinging their hips , girls were hopping and flipping their hair . My neatly done ponytail soon came off as I jumped around , attempting to dance .

It must have had something to do with the chaotic atmosphere of the place , I was slowly drowning at the pace of the music . I think someone gave me a drink...Or Jeonghan's hands were on my waist , or it wasn't his hands at all ? One second he was there , then he wasn't...

My head was spinning so fast , like I was on cloud 9 , and now falling to my salvation . I could feel my innocence growing thin , but I did nothing wrong , so why did this feeling pop up ? It feel like an eternity , me being stuck in that time zone of acceleration and pandemonium , and I wasn't aware of what I was doing .

But where was he ? 

A guy , with a face of an angel , standing a few meters away from me . I knew who he was , and I think he didn't know that I was aware of what he was doing . His delicate hands were cupping a face of some girl , they were kissing ferociously . The blaring lights , smoke screens , atmosphere , it was a miracle I could make it out clearly .

Yoon Jeonghan was kissing someone else , infront of me . 

He was in a daze , I was also in a daze . But I could see his body interwined with another girl , they were even worse than the previous girl he was snogging . His perfect appearence with her neon blue hair and glittery makeup , it clashed . My heart was pounding , not from anger or hurt , but shock .

I blinked again.

He was at my right now , but not with me . He was so close , but he was long gone from my grasp . I stared in horror as he made out with another victim , a girl with braids and multi-coloured contacts , black lipstick and gold eyeshadow . Before I could react to anything , someone had pushed me onto the ground , making me fall to the ground . 

I lay there , crouched on the ground , filled with fear and confusion . I was slowly snapping back to my senses , what the hell was I doing ? The image of Jeonghan and those girls , the biggest and saddest fear was creeping in . 

He never meant what he said to me , never once was he serious about me . 

I think I knew that this would happen , that this relationship was never ever going to happen . It was just some final fantasy that would never come true , maybe he knew what I thought when he saw me that day after the mini-concert . And I was stupid enough to fall for him , when he took a step back , letting me plunge into this fate . 

But how could the devil be pulling you , pulling me to someone .... someone that looks so much...so much like an angel when he smiles at you ? 

He never loved me , I bet he didn't love either of those girls he kissed , he didn't love anything about this . I could almost laugh at my stupidity that I proclaimed that I would never fall victim to .

The joke was on me ...