(Taeyeon's POV)

life couldn't get any better. Ever since we made up, my life couldn't get any better. Everyday i wake up with a smile on my face because i know i'll meet her soon. School isn't as boring as before. Even better now i have a new motivation to motivate me to go to school everyday. I even start to think that saturday and sunday should have classes as well so i have a reason to go to school and meet her. Crazy right? I know. I wasn't and still am not in my right mind. Is this what the girl crush thingy supposed to feel like?

"Wipe away that ert smile on your face, Taeng."

"Yah! I'm not a ert. You are." I retorted.

"Maybe you're not. But your smile earlier just soo ert."

"Whatever, Hee. Whatever." I rolled my eyes on him.

"So i can see that you decided to go after that girl huh? I mean staying close to her and let whatever feeling you have toward her to develop?" I'm frozing in my place. Sigh, i know sooner or later he will ask about this.

"Hee, i didn't mean to ignore your advice. I know what you said was right. And i swear i tried, Hee. I've tried to distanced myself from her. But it was so damn hard. And my wall totally crumbled when i knew she was hurt. How heartless i am Hee if i still ignoring her when i know she got hurt. Even though i still need to figure out what feeling that i feel toward her, one thing that i know for sure. She is my friend and i care for her. I always be that caring person toward people that i loved. You know that. So how can i treat her differently?"

"I understand, Tae. But i just don't want you to get hurt. Not when i know your 'happy ending' will never be with her."

"Hey, why you're talking as if i'm going to get married tomorrow? *chuckles* look Hee, i know what i'm doing. I'm more than aware of the risk as well. But people said we need to be crazy sometimes. We only live once! I never know how does it feel to have a crush on someone, or having butterflies in my stomach, or heartache, or even a flutter feeling when someone touch me. I just ever heard about those things from other people around me. My time to having fun is limited, Hee."

"That's wh-"

"No, i haven't finish, Hee so listen first." He nodded.

"My time to feel all of those feeling is limited and i know i'm slowly heading to its end. So can't i at least be kind to myself for once by letting me to have a chance to feel those craziness? Don't you think i have to be at least a lil bit fair to my ownself? Right Hee?"

"Tae.."

"I know you can't debate me anymore this time, Hee." I smiled.

"But how about Tiffany? What if you hurt her in the process?"

"I have think about that too. First, i don't think the feeling is mutual. I know she cares about me like a lot, i can feel it. But I think she just sees me as her unnie. Someone she looked up to, someone she can rely on, someone she trusts and comfortable with just like close buddies. But.. even if she has a mutual feeling with mine, then i really will hurt her in the end. But i'll find a way, no matter what, even if it means to hurt myself more, i'll try my best to fix my mistake. I'll try to make her happy and forget about me. She can hate me if she want, anything for her happiness. So later i can leave her with a light heart knowing she's fine."

"But her happiness will not be with you."

"True. It will never be with me. But it's fine with me as long as people around me happy. As long as she is happy."

"Just how selfless you can be, Taengoo-ya. This is why i told you, you'll be the one who suffered the most in the end." I know Hee i know. I better be prepare for that even though i will never be ready for the pain.

********************

"Taengoo unnie annyeong!" Yoona greets me cheerfully as always. Beside her i saw Jessica who keeps yawning while rubbing her eyes. No wonder people called her as the sleeping beauty.. But once she's aware of my presence she open her eyes and greets me too.

"Annyeong yetera." I smiled back. Wait, why there's only Jessica and Yoona? Where is Tiffany? Seolma, she didn't come to school because her cold getting worse? Last night before we ended our usual night conversation through kakaotalk, she did told me about her cold and i advised her to sleep earlier and took the medicin