Jessica POV

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She’s not looking at me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She doesn’t even know I’m not singing the lyrics.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I can’t sing them.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’ve listened to her play this song dozens of times from her balcony, yet it never held emotion or meaning until this moment.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The fact that she can’t even look at me makes the song feel way too personal.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It feels as if this song somehow just became her song to me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I turn the notebook over, not wanting to read the words anymore.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This song is just one more thing that never should have happened, even though I’m positive it’s my new favorite.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Me: Do you think Yoona can make a rough cut of this one? I want to hear it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I nudge her with my foot after I send the text, then nod toward her phone when she looks at me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She picks it up to read the text and nods.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She doesn’t reply or make eye contact with me, though.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I glance back down to my phone as the room grows quiet in the absence of the sound of her guitar.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I don’t like how awkward things just got between us, so I attempt to make small talk to fill the void.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I roll onto my back and type out a question that’s been on my mind for a while to break up the stillness around us.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Me: Why don’t you ever practice on your balcony like you used to?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This question gets me immediate eye contact from her, but it doesn’t last.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Her eyes flicker across my face, down my body, and finally back to her phone.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yul: Why would I? You’re not out there anymore.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And just like that, my defenses are down, and my willpower is shot to hell with her honest reply.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I nervously pull my bottom lip in and chew on it, then slowly raise my eyes back to her.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She’s looking at me as if she wishes she were a peoples like Jun who cared only about themselves.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She’s not the only one wishing that.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I want to be Dara right now so much it hurts.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I want to b