Jessica POV

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why am I so pissed?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We didn’t do anything.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Did we?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I can’t even tell what the hell happened last night before we fell asleep.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Technically, it wasn’t anything, but then again, it was, which is probably why I’m so pissed, because I’m so freaking confused.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

First she doesn’t tell me about Jun for 2 solid weeks. Then she fails to mention that she’s deaf, although I really have no right to be upset about that.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

That’s not something I should feel obligated to have been told.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But Taeyeon?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Girlfriend?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How could she fail to mention in the 3 weeks I’ve been talking to her that she has a girlfriend?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She’s just like Jun.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I should probably just start calling her Jun.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My father should be thanking the high heavens that I’m not in law school, because I am by far the absolute worst judge of character who has ever walked the planet.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yul: False alarm. It was just Hae. Sorry about that.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Me: SCREW. YOU.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yul: ???

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Me: Don’t even.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A few seconds pass with me staring at my silent phone, and then a knock comes from the bathroom.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yuri swings the door open and enters my room, holding her hands with her palms up in the air as if she has no idea why I’m upset.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I laugh, but it isn’t a happy laugh at all.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Me: This conversation will require a laptop. I have a lot to say.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I open my computer as she makes her way back to her room. I give her a minute to log on, then I open our chat.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yul: Can you please explain why you’re so pissed?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Me: Hmm. Let me count the ways. (1) You have a girlfriend. (2) You have a girlfriend. (3) Why, if you have a girlfriend, was I even in your BEDROOM? (4) You have a girlfriend!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yul: I have a girlfriend. Yes. And you were in my room because we agreed to work on lyrics together. I don’t recall anything happening between us last night to warrant this reaction from you. Or am I mistaken?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Me: Yul, it’s been 3 weeks! I’ve known you for 3 weeks now, and you’ve never ONCE mentioned that you have a girlfriend. And speaking of Taeyeon, does she even know I moved in?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yul: Yes. I tell her everything. Look, it wasn’t an intentional omission, I swear. You and I have just never had a conversation where she came up.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Me: Okay, I’ll let it go that you failed to mention her, but I’m not about to let everything else slide.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yul: And this is where I’m confused, because I’m not clear on what you think we did.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Me: You’re such a prick.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yul: Ouch? I guess.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Me: Can you honestly say that your reaction to the possibility of her being at your door earlier was a normal, innocent reaction? You were freaking out that she would see me with you, which means you were doing something you wouldn’t want her to see. I know all we did was fall asleep, but what about the WAY we fell asleep? Do you think she would have been okay with the fact that you had your arms around me all night and your face was practically glued to my chest? And not only that, but what about the fact that I sat between your legs the other night? Would she have smiled and kissed you hello if she had walked in right then? I doubt it. I’m fairly certain that would have ended with me being punched.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ugh! Why is this upsetting me so much?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I bang my head lightly against the headboard out of frustration.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Moments later, Yuri appears in the doorway between our bathroom and my bedroom.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She’s chewing on the corner of her bottom lip.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Her features are a lot calmer than when she was in here just a few minutes ago.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She walks slowly into my room, then sits on the edge of my bed with her laptop on her knees.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yul: I’m sorry.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Me: Yeah. Good. Whatever. Go away.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yul: Really, Sica. I haven’t been looking at it like that at all. The last thing I want is for things to be weird between us. I like you. I have fun with you. But if for one second I led you to believe that something was going to happen between us, I am so, so sorry.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I sigh and attempt to blink the tears away.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Me: I’m not upset because I thought something was going to happen between us, Yul. I don’t WANT anything to happen between us. I haven’t even been single for a whole week yet. I’m upset because I feel like there was a moment, or maybe 2, when—as much as neither of us wants to cross that line—we almost did. And you can deal with your actions on your own, but the fact that I was unaware that you had a girlfriend was really unfair to me. I feel like—

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I lean my head back against the headboard and squeeze my eyes shut, long enough to force back the tears once more.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yul: You feel like what?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Me: I feel like you almost made me a Dara. I absolutely would have kissed you last night, and the fact that I didn’t know you were involved with someone would have made me a Dara. I don’t want to be a Dara, Yul. I can’t tell you how much their betrayal hurts me, and I will never, ever do that to another girl. So that’s why I’m upset. I don’t even know Taeyeon, yet you made me feel like I’ve already betrayed her. And as innocent as you may be, I’m blaming you for that one.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yuri finishes reading my message, then calmly lies back on the bed.

 

 

 

 

 

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