“You’re really hiding here?”

Seon looked up from her work and discovered Jinhwan sitting across from her at the library table. “I’ve made my decision.” It’s just I couldn’t face it yet. 

“So, you’re going to stop talking to Jiwon altogether. Aren’t you always so adamant in helping him?” The boy questioned.

It wasn’t that. My eyes dropped down to my book that I had hoped to keep my thoughts occupied. “I’ll give in.” I start off gently. “If I see him again.”

Understanding my viewpoint, Jinhwan stayed silent. 

“Not yet.” I could only manage to say. 

“You know I’ll support you.” He was quick to comfort me. “So, whatever you want.”

***

Countdown until graduation was relentless and coming fast. It felt like every time I blinked, another day has flown by.

Schoolwork grew less and less once students’ plans were set. Days were growing uneventful as their minds only focused on the anticipation of graduating. Yet, I wasn’t in the mindset to get caught up in that contagion of excitement.

And one boy was the reason.

Maybe it was because I felt like I had time or maybe I was hoping Jiwon would give in and see from my point of view that I remained rooted in my own thinking. I wanted to believe that Jiwon would see what he was doing to his body and decide he wanted something better for himself. 

I wanted him to see that the other side had less pain, less anguish. 

There’s a good possibility he knew…but didn’t care.

***

Jiwon didn’t want to go home. 

With his hands stuck in the pockets of his jacket, he allowed his feet to carry him along without a destination in mind. Just like his feet, his mind was also wandering. 

He didn’t think this was where they would end up. He hadn’t thought about it long-term. Jiwon couldn’t afford to think long-term. Blinking back from his thoughts, he observed the small neighborhood only illuminated by a few street lamps. From his spot, he focused on the house and the single window that still had a light glowing to indicate that sleep had failed to come.

She must be up, he thought.

Was she also thinking about him like how he had been thinking of her?

He winced as her face appeared in his mind – he wanted to think positively about it. About the fact that right now they weren’t on good terms. Because it wasn’t that they weren’t meant to be…the time just wasn’t right.

Jiwon runs a hand through his hair before fixing the hood of his sweatshirt. 

His hands slips back into his pocket and skims his phone. Slowly pulling it out, his mind immediately comes up with different scenarios of how this may play out. Fearing she wouldn’t pick up his call, Jiwon ended up texting a short and simple message – 

‘I’m sorry.’

***

From where I sat, I could see Aunt Dara sitting amongst the sea of adults – families. A perfectly made bouquet in her hands that was put together thoughtfully for the special day. 

Facing front once more, Jinhwan’s words from beside me consume my attention.

“I can’t believe this is happening.” 

We were finishing another chapter in our lives. “I can’t either.” I answered softly. Everything thus far has been quite unbelievable. It’s always interesting to think about the people you ne