Rain. He loved rain and so did I. We used to run around the rain together as if we were little kids.

“Dara! I'm coming to get you!” he yelled

“That sounds like something someone from a horror movie would say,” I laughed

“Don't kill the vibe,” he frowned

“Fine, but I don't think you can catch me,” I splashed him before I began to ran further away from him

“Oh please, I can run fast,” he boasted.

He began to run full speed at my direction and I couldn't help but let out a little yelp as his strong arms enveloped me.

“Gotcha,” he said before twirling me around

“Yah, we might fall,” I warned him

“I'm strong enough for both of us.”

Now, here I am, all alone in this cold outpouring and never have I ever felt more alone. Strong enough for both of us, what a lie that was. I could taste nothing but extreme bitterness in my tongue. I continued to walk around the street in the rain, not giving a care about the world. What was so good about living anyway?

“Hey lady! Watch where you're going!” a driver honked at me

Right, I shouldn't be walking in the middle of the street. Who gives a damn anyway? Who cares if I disappear off the face of the earth? Nobody. What is it in being 2NE1's Dara when I no longer have him? How do I continue living like an idol when my heart is shattered, when my world has been taken from me? How do I put on a facade when I can't even lie to myself?

I let my thoughts eat at me. I let the darkness consume me. The sound of the rain was all I could hear, my visions a blur. Where do I go from here? How do I begin again?

“Dara?” I heard someone call to me, a man's voice

I squinted my eyes trying to find the person. Not afar, I saw a figure, a familiar one. It cannot be. There is no way that could be him yet my steps become bigger, faster. The figure I was staring at seemed like it was his, but the closer I got, it began to morph into someone else's.

“Dara!” he shouted louder

My hearing became better. Of course, it wasn't him. It couldn't possibly be. Lee Donghae would not be able to find me in this rain. Lee Donghae would never be able to find me anymore. The love of my life, Lee Donghae, was no longer walking this earth. No matter where I went, I could never find him. The tears began to roll down my face.

“Dara!” Chanyeol appeared in front of me, “What are you doing out in the rain? Are you out of your mind?” He was yelling but I could tell he was concerned.

I looked up at my younger friend's face with no shame to hide.

“He said he was strong enough for the both of us... But he died, Chanyeol. He died from a car accident,” I cried harder

Chanyeol pulled me into an embrace.

“It wasn't his fault. It was the driver of that crazy stalker's fault. You know that,”

“Why couldn't he have fought? Why couldn't he survive? Did he not know I would be waiting for him?”

“Don't hurt yourself even more,” he said, “He wouldn't be happy seeing you like this.”

I know it wasn't Donghae's fault. I know what happened to him was an unfortunate accident. I know that my Donghae would have lived for me if he could. But I couldn't help but be mad because being mad was easier than being sad.

“I want to go too. I want to go and be with him,”

“Don't say stuff like that!” he let me go, “He wouldn't want that,”

“But I'm dead at heart,”

“You have other people that love you. I know how much you love Donghae but please. If you can't think of living for yourself. Think of your family, your friends, your fans,”

“He was my world,”

“I know,” he hugged me again, “But Dara, if you die too, I don't know how I would live. This sounds selfish right now but Dara,” he paused, “Losing Donghae wrecked me too. He was like an older brother to me, family. He was always there for me when I needed him. I looked up to him. But... But if you go too, it would kill me.”

Chanyeol poured his heart out the way the rain was pouring but Dara couldn't understand where this was all coming from. How could she accept his love when he was so close to Donghae as well? How could she love anyone again after Donghae?