Present Day

While I am driving the air starts to dry my tears.  I thought I understood it, but I did not. The things I build with you that I cannot have with anyone else.  The way you laugh, the way to talk, the way you move and everything you do. What we don’t say in words, but what we show through our actions.  January 1st 2012 was the first time I saw your love, and I stopped crying, because I realize I was never going to be alone again.     

December 31^st 2011.

Although Yoona was nervous and still thinking of what had happened in her dressing room, she managed to act normal in front of Jonghyun, who went to pick her up after the Awards.  They were planning to tell their members they were dating.

The only time Yoona forgot about TOP was when she was with Jonghyun.  So when he appeared to take her to the party all of her sadness slowly faded.  She reminded herself she was Jonghyun’s girlfriend now.

“I saw evertything on TV” Jonghyun said, driving with one hand and holding Yoona’s left hand with the other.  “Your practice really paid off. Lee Seunggi couldn’t hide his happiness to be working with you” Jonghyun said, pretending to be mad.  Yoona hit Jonghyun’s arm.

“I didn’t know you were jealous” Yoona said, smiling. “Then, should I worry about all the girls you work with?” she asked, looking at him.

“Of course not.  You are the only girl I look at.  The others, even if they are woman, I wouldn’t notice”  Jonghyun kissed Yoona’s hand.

When they arrived to the party, togheter, all the girls and the boys from CNBlue started to make fun of them.

“Well, we must say something to you.  The truth is Yoona and I… we are dating; we just started dating six days ago”  Jonghyun honestly said.  He looked at Yoona, asking for help.

“So, SNSD you can start the interrogation now”  Yoona said laughing.  The fastest was Hyoyeon, who took Jonghyun and said “You are Yongie’s first boyfriend did you know?”  Sunny rapidly joined Hyoyeon and along with Tiffany and Taeyeon they started asking Jonghyun all series of questions.  Even Jungshin, who was supposed to be on his teammate’ side warned Jonghyun about being rude to Yoona. When they left to the bar area, Seohyun hugged Yoona. 

“Jonghyun is an amazing guy”  Seohyun said.

“But not as amazing as me.  Too bad I am already taken”  Yonghwa said, also hugging Yoona. “Congratulations”.

Minhyuk came closer and said: “I knew something was going on between the two of you.  Anyways, I am happy for Hyung. You are really pretty and polite. Congratulations” He bowed.  Then Sooyoung, Yuri, and Jessica made a circle around Yoona.

“Why is everybody hugging me?  It’s not like I am going to get married” Yoona said, crossing her arm with Jessica’s arm.

“Woow, you are already talking about marriage”  Jessica said, teasing Yoona. Yoona gently pushed her. “What I really want to know is how you feel.   Do you think this is the right decision?” Jessica asked, this time serious. Yoona looked at Sooyoung, she was the only member that knew everything.

“Sorry, but Yuri and Jessica forced me.  They know you so well that they notice how strange you were acting”  Sooyoung said, joining her hands and placing them in front of her chest.

“It’s fine.  I was planning to tell them anyways. I need to talk to someone”  Yuri suddenly hugged Yoona.  “I am happy, I really am.  When I am with Jonghyun I feel enthusiastic.  But when he is not around I cannot forget the pain I caused to Seunghyung, and I feel bad”  Yoona confessed.

“Then, why didn’t you just accept Seunghyun’s heart?” Jessica asked curious.  “I don’t want to judge you, but it seems to me you like more TOP than your actual boyfriend”

“I just want to give Jonghyun an opportunity. Unlike Seunghyun, he doesn’t have anytone to trust. Someone that really hears what he has to say”  Yoona replied.

“It’s fine Yoona.  I understand you don’t love any of the two guys yet, so you are not lying to your heart.  What scares me is that you might be forcing yourself.  Since now you will spend more time with Jonghyun, your affection towards him will grow.  But if, at some point, you find yourself thinking about another man, please don’t be unfair to Jonghyun and tell him how you really feel”  Yuri said.  Yoona always thought that Yuri and Jonghyun had the exact words to make her feel better. So she considered both of them as her soulmates.

Yoona spent most of her time with Jonghyun.  First listening all ofthe girls praising him for his looks and talent and at the same time questioning Jonghyun like big sisters.  Then, still by Jonghyun’s side, she heard funny stories about CNBlue.  When the party was in the middle Jonghyun asked Yoona for a dance.

“I thought you were bad at dancing” Yoona said, while they were walking to the centre of the dancefloor.

“Well, I practiced specially for today.  But if I step on you or something, we can return to our table and talk.  This is the first party I don’t want to leave early”  Jonghyun was smiling.  The song playing was “Most Wanted” by Cults.  “I really really like this band” As soon as Jonghyun said that, the mood suddenly changed.

“Let’s change partners everyone!” the guy on the microphone screamed.

“You are really unlucky”  Yoona laughed at Jonghyun. 

“Can I dance with you?” Bom came out of nowhere and asked Jonghyunfor a dance. Yoona looked at Bom and tried to force a smile.

“Go” Yoona encouraged Jonghyun, who accepted grundgingly.  Yoona was about to return to her seat.  She was looking at the floor until she bumped into someone.

“You did it on purpose to dance with me, didn’t you?”  TOP carefree asked, hiding his pain, using his deep and seducing voice. “Ok, I’ll accept.  Let’s dance”  TOP took Yoona’s hand and then her waist.  When the DJ saw everyone in the dancefloor had a partner he played “Harvest moon” by Neil Young. Yoona and Seunghyun were so close she could feel his breath on her head.  Seunghyun bend himself and while he rested Yoonas head on his shoulder. He whispered:

“Come a little bit closer

Hear what I have to say

Just like children sleepin'

We could dream this night away”

Yoona heard Seunghyun’s voice and got gosebumps. She unconsciously squeezed TOP’s hand. When Yoona realized what she was doing, she raplidy broke the hug and looked at him. He looked back at her.  For Yoona it was imposible to win against TOP’s gaze, so she looked down.  She was about to go when Seunghyun took her by the wrist.

“Why him?” He asked, not out loud, not even with a sound, he just moved his lips, but Yoona understood.

“He is my soulmate” Yoona mumbled. Seunghyun looked at her one more time and sighed.  Then he slowly slip his hand over Yoona’s hand and walked away.  Yoona stood there, in the center, until energy came back to her and went to her seat too.

Jonghyun joined Yoona when the song finished.  At  11:30 most people was already gone to spent New Year with their relatives.

“I want to show you something.  Would you come with me?” Jonghyun asked Yoona. They were walking to the parking lot when Yoona realized she didn’t have her phone.

“I think i know where is it.  Go ahead”  Yoona said while runing back to the building, before Jonghyun could offer himself to go for the phone.  When Yoona entered to look for her phone, all the people in the party was already gone.  The remaining were cleaning, so she walked straight to the bar, and then, she saw him.  TOP was taking his last drink, and he had Yoona’s cellphone on his hand.  Yoona came closer and Seunghyun noticed her presence.  He stood up.

“I knew you were coming back”  He said, tired.  He waited for her all night.  “I know you don’t want to hear it, so i won’t say it, but i will show you”  TOP sent a message to Yoona’s phone.  It was a video.  When Yoona pressed play a classical song played on guitar named “Modest Request” started.  The video had only lyrics:

“Hello Miss Yoona.

If i am lucky, next New Year

My date will be a beautiful girl like you

But for now, right now, i want you to know

That no mmater who you choose,

You are still my favorite person in the world

And I do believe you and I are meant to be

Not necessarily as lovers,  but maybe as friends.

So, this regular good looking person (me)

Will make a modest request:

If you change your mind, would you let me know?

Yoona was really touched.  She smiled at TOP and nodded.

“3, 2, 1… HAPPY NEW YEAR” the remaining people in the party yelled.

Yoona came closer and hugged TOP. 

“This is all i can do for you.  Happy new Year”  She whispered.

“That’s enough.  I can let you go now” Seunghyun said, while smiling.  If felt like time and space had stop. 

Yoona came out, and Jonghyun was waiting for her. 

“Did you find it?” He asked.

“Yes”  Yoona answered and both entered the car.  While Jonghyun was driving, Yoona kept looking at him.  “Can I hold your hand?” She asked. 

“Whenever you want”  Jonghyun smiled. Yoona did too.  They drove for another 30 minutes until  the car stopped in a scenic overlook. When they got off the car the weather was really cold.  Yoona was looking at the city when Jonghyun gave her a back hug, and hid her inside his coat.

“Do you like the view?”

“Of course. I cannot describe its beauty with words”

“Now you understand how i feel whenever i look at you”  Yoona turned arounf and hug him back. “I know about Seunghyun and you” Yoona was shocked.

“Who..?”

“Bom ssi, she told me while we were dancig.  I… I don’t know what should I feel.  I don’t know whether to be grateful or worried”

“What do you mean?”

“I am grateful you picked me, but I am worried if you are happy.  I saw you dancing with him, so tell me, how do you feel?”

“Tonight, Tabi Oppa and I said good bye.  It is true i kept thinking about him when i accepted your feelings, but tonight, i am with you, in mind and soul.  I guess when Seunghyun and i said goodbye today i understood he is fine, and he will be fine.  This is the real Yoona: imperfect and wrong.  Do you still want to date me?

“Yoona, whenever I talk, I mean what I say.  I said I love you because I really do”  That been said, Jonghyun, still hugging Yoona, pressed his lips against hers.  Yoona slowly slided her hands over his chest until she reached his neck.  Then she gently grabed his  hair.  “Happy New Year Yongie”.  Jonghyun didn’t know this was going to be his happiest holiday.