Rachel P.O.V

I don't think I can take this anymore. This is killing me. There's only one way I can keep myself sane. But, of course, if I relapse, I have to tell Onew. I really don't want to, and I technically don't have to. But the guilt would eat me alive. I love him too much to keep such a secret from him. I know better

I take out a small, but powerful, sharp blade. I prepare for the short pain and cut myself rather slower than usually did. I take a deep breath, and cut again, slower and lower, closer to my wrist. At that point, I started to get angry. . Thinking of my mother. The heat I felt burning in my cheeks, put me in such fit, I suddenly, without warning, feel a terrible stinging pain in the middle of my forearm. I look down and see the deepest cut I've ever planted in my arm. "I-I did that??" I thought to myself before letting out a piercing scream. "OH CRAP!" Onew is downstairs. He obviously heard since there were footsteps running towards my room. I layed down in my bed, covering my arms

SLAM!!

"WHAT HAPPENED?!" Key screamed in the doorway. He's been really over-protective since what happened at the University. Without turning around to look at him since I faced the wall. "J-just a bad dream.." I improvise. "Must've been a bad one" he sighed "Be careful" He whispers to me before giving me a warm kiss on the cheek. It felt so... Loving. He left and closed the door behind him. I felt so warm and protected. But it's Key. Why him? Ever since he held me in that hallway, I've felt a lot more warm. What kind of feeling could this be...?.. Could it be...?... NO! I'm with Onew. That would never happen. I sit up in bed and look at my door, my arm bleeding.

...Never..

Onew P.O.V >>Next day

Good thing it's Winter, that way I can hid-

"Onew, I have to talk to you about somethi-" Rachel said while she barged into my room. But something caught her attention when she looked at me that made her stop... I'm wearing a long sleeved shirt.. I never wear a long sleeved shirts. She knew what was up.. Tears filled her eyes. How can she know me so well..?

As she creeped up to me and sat on my bed next to me. Her eyes were bright green. Her eyes always turned foresty, bright  green when she cried. She slowly lifted up my sleeve and saw my cuts. I was ashamed, more than ever. My girlfriend knew I physically abuse myself. How could I live this down?. She held my arm close to her until she rolled up her own sleeve, only to see scars similar to mine, only deeper. I was speechless.

"W-why?" we both said at the same time. "You go first" she says. A silent tear rolled down her cheek.. "I'm scared.. For you. . And I take it out on myself. . I feel like I haven't protected you like a responsible lover should" I said. Bit by bit, I go more into detail. "Shhhh" she stops me. "And you?" I ask her as if she's a stranger. "I think you can guess" she says sobbing. I already knew about her dad's death, and about her mother. She resents her. Thinking she didn't take care of her father in his time of need. When she said that, I completely understood. I couldn't do anything but pull her closer to me and cry with her. I didn't feel comfortable to even try to convince her to stop cutting, because I knew how hard it was to quit. I couldn't do anything.... But cry

Key P.O.V: >>2 weeks later

I heard footsteps coming down the stairs. It was Rachel and Onew talking, holding hands. I turned back around on the couch. I started to feel my cheeks burn. The heat started to sting that I had to-

"Hey Key!!" yelped Taemin's voice in a happy mood. "Sup Taemin" I sighed. "Are you running a tempature? Your cheeks are really red" said Taemin, more quiet this time. Really? People can see that my face is red? I must be really jealous. . . . WHAT AM I SAYING?? Snap out of it, Kibum! I am NOT jealous. Onew is my favorite hyung, and Rachel is his noona. How can I put an end to their love by getting jealous? Never would I do such a thing! I look from behind the couch and watch them leave to go on a date.

.. Never..