Depressed
One Twist After Another1 week later> Rachel's POV
"You think she's gunna be okay?" Onew asked me as we were walking down the street, away from the hosptial, hopefully to stay away for quite some time, but most likely not.
"She's a strong young woman. I know so. She'll live" I faked a smile
"I know you'd be strong about it all too" Onew smiled. I only glanced and flashed another plastic smile
We finally got to our apartment. Amber wasn't to return until tomorrow.
"Prepare yourself" Onew said quietly, jokingly next to me while I stared at the pavement. I giggled at his comment
I tried to keep the conversation alive, but failed miderably. I didn't know what to say. With all of the events over-powering my life, I really didn't feel like the Rachel I was when I first moved to Seoul, and nobody could blame me
"Look, I know we're starting to seem a little more distant because of all the stress, on all seven of us" Onew started.
"But I believe we can really get through this, I really think so. Not all of us, but us as in.. You and me. We have to keep moving on" he sighed
He read me like a closed book. Tears started to coat my cheeks.
I couldn't look at him. I thought if I revealed that I was crying, I'd get some unwanted attention
The sun started to set and by this time, I'd usually be tired, but I wasn't
Onew started to sniffle, he was crying. When I realized, with my eyes wide open, I took him by the face then gave him a tight hug.
"You do realize I love you" he said, muffled by my t-shirt.
"I've always known" I sighed, so quietly.
I took him again by the face and gave him a kiss. Not a wet, playful one. A long, meaningful one. But it felt so sad. Tears again continued to fall from my eyes. When we broke away, my forehead was rested on his and we both cried for maybe ten minutes, sitting on the steps outside of my apartment complex.
When the sun started to go down and dusk fell harder. "Goodnight" I whispered and ran inside, without looking back. I ran into our dorm and looked outside the window down on into the street. Onew was slowly walking away from the building, back to his and SHINee's dorm. His posture was depressing. His swag we all knew so well was faded and his head was held low. Staring down at the ground and his hands in his pockets, wind started to slowly pick up and blew his bangs out of his face. He turned a corner and was gone. Amber was coming home tomorrow
That night, I never fell asleep
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Onew POV >The same night
I walked in the door and headed for the kitchen to look for banana milk. I searched for milk and found nothing. I took in a huge sigh and stood alone in the kitchen. It was only then when I realized... That is was.. so quiet. So quiet that I couldn't hear a single thing.
"YOU GUYS!?!?!" I yelled through the house
"Yeah?" I heard a faint familiar voice from upstairs
"Come down stairs please!"
I waited for about ten seconds when a door from upstairs opened. I stood by the stairs and waited for a member to come down and address me. Down came Jjong.
"Is everyone else here?"
"No. It's just me. Where have you been?"
"Walked Rachel home."
"Oh, Minho and Tae went out to eat dinner and Key is still at the hosptial. I've been waiting for any type of life form to come through the door"
"Why didn't you go with Minho and Taemin?"
"Didn't feel like eating out today. I made chicken. Want the leftovers?"
"You're asking me that? You obviously don't know me well enough" I laughed and followed my dongsaeng into the kitchen to try his chicken left overs
>> The next day. Rachel POV
I got up from my computer at around 5am to get a drink of water. When I walked out of my dark room, the sun was just starting to come out and I sighed.
"Guess I'll just sleep all day, better than confronting-"
There was a sudden knock at the door.
"What? Who's here so early?" I thought quielty. I walked over the door without making a sound and looked through the hole in our door. It was Amber
"I gotta make her think I actaully fell asleep" I thought.
I teased and tore at my hair and rubbed my ears until they turned blood red. I was happy I was in sweats that way I wasn't in jeans and my band tee
I opened the door, making it look like I just woke up. When she saw me, she jumped. "You look like s***" she giggled
"Well it's kinda 5am" I faked a yawn. I let her in. She looked fine after a week in the hospital. She was on the other side of the living room when I heard her stomach scream "FEED ME!!!"
"Hungry?" I asked, trying to keep my "Half awake" state.
"Yeah, hospital food can it" she laughed.
I shuffled in the kitchen and made us both pancakes
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Jonghyun POV
I slowly opened my eyes from my hardcore hibernation. I seriously felt like a rock when I slept.
I looked up slowly at the clock
.... 5AM!?!?
"WHAT?!" I yelled a loud without realizing.
More quiet "Since when was the last time I woke up at 5am without an alarm clock?!"
I took the time I had awake to good use and started to make breakfast for everyone. Of course, when they wake up, it'll all be cold, but I need something to do. When I was halfway down the stairs, someone knocked on the door. "At 5am?" I asked, tilting my head. When I got down to the final step right next to the door, I got a better idea of who was waiting to be let in
"....Key?" I asked the closed door
"... Jonghyun?" Key asked from outside
I sighed and opened the door. Key stood in the doorway, with bags under his eyes. perhaps because it's hard to fall asleep in a hospital waiting room.
"Morning hyung"
"Come on in, I was gunna make soup. Are you hungry?"
"Yes, please. Thank you" Key said softly while heading over to the couch. By the time the soup was done, I went over to the couch to give it to Key, who was now sleeping on our couch. I sighed.
"Since when the hell do I wake up at 5am?"
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Rachel POV >8pm same day
So for the whole day, which I thought was gunna be a wreck, was actually not as bad as I imagined. Amber was content and all in all fine for the whole day. Almost as if nothing ever happened.
I know people have thoughts and feelings that'll never be revealed, and sooner or later, if you tell nobody about it, you'll break. So I'm worried Amber will snap and I won't be there to help, but I am and I always will.
I was hoping the whole day would go by without a fuss... Until...
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I heard Amber scream bloody murder from our living room. I was in my room and literally made me jump in a split second. "WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT!?!?!?" I screamed. running into the room. The cool, calm, and collected Amber was now on the ground in a fetul position, pulling her hair out crying.
"I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!" she cried
"Shhsshhh shhh. It's okay" I got down on the ground and grabbed her shaking body. This was definitely hardcore depression. Manic depression, the same thing I have.
"Why Rachel!?!? WHY?? Why why why why why?!?!? WHY?!?!? Why did it have to happen to us!???" she cried repeatedly
"It happens worldwide. It's okay. It happens everywhere. And it's not you fault either" I tried to calm her. Amber has finally snapped.
I started to cry with her. Her shaking body making me vibrate while I rubbed her back so she'll calm down
When she finally did, I finally snapped. I started to cry so hard. I felt like I could never stop, not for anything. I leaned and hit the floor. Amber tried to hold me up but I was already lacking control of my own body, the only thing I could do was cry.
Amber tried to pull me back up, but gave up quick. We both laid on our living room floor and pushed all of our tears out until we couldn't anymore
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