Chapter 36

Author’s POV

The night grew darker and crueler. The figure in question took Yuri back to the boy’s apartment. This person was smart enough to go through the back entrance and carry Yuri all the way through the flight of stairs to get to his unit.

Once he was confronted by the door, he punched in the code for Yuri’s house.

“You know; you should really be changing your code every once in a while.” He scolds the still unconscious Yuri.

The person goes into Yuri’s apartment without trouble at all. He sets him down at the couch and goes into Yuri’s dining area to grab a chair. The unknown person goes through Yuri’s stuff with familiarity and knowledge. This person practically knew every single inch of Yuri’s living space.

Once everything was ready, he took Yuri again in his arms, only to set him down on the chair he grabbed earlier. He then took the rope he had found in one of Yuri’s cabinets and securely tied Yuri to the chair. When that was done, he reached down to his pocket and brought out a syringe. He checks the fluid inside then sets his eyes on Yuri’s neck.

“This would probably sting but hey that’s the least of your problems, really.”

--

Yuri’s POV

I come to my senses and the first thing I notice is the place I’m in. Everything was painted white and an odd sense of familiarity struck my skin and bones.

Where am I?

My vision is anything but clear. I try to move but I feel the restriction on both my hands and feet. I move my head and I pick out a figure in front of me.

“Took you long enough. How’re you feeling?” A voice which I’m guessing is owned by this figure in front of me, asks.

I don’t say anything but instead I try my best to make out the person in front of me. When my head decided to actually recognize the person in front of me, I felt my heart stop. Fear spread out all through my body. I closed my eyes and quickly regretted it. Rapid images of things I could only assume are memories flash themselves in my head. And for the nth time since I was born, I felt like my brain was literally on fire.

“You can close your eyes all you want but I’ll still be here when you open them.”

I didn’t want to open them but I did. I don’t know what’s happening to me. When my vision got a bit clearer, I saw it again. The mask that I supposedly saw the night, Taekwoon died.

“Remember me?” the person behind the mask says

I wanted to get up from the chair or at least move my body but I couldn’t. With my hazy vision, I look at my hands and realize they were tied to the chair I was sitting on.

“Who are you?” my words were slurred and almost inaudible. I was feeling numb all over but my fear was still there. I could still feel it within me.

“You already know that right? Why are you asking me?” his voice sounded like he was speaking through an old microphone. It was full of static and unnecessary noise. I’m not sure if he’s actually speaking through a mic or I’m just really going insane. I remind myself to breathe over and over again. For whatever reason, I think that if I don’t do it, I’ll forget to.

“It’s been a while since you called me out and I actually thought you forgot about me.”

Called me out? What?

“It’s been…what? 6 or 7 years, I think.” His voice remains to sound like something from an old microphone or radio. I’m more inclined to think that my sanity may have gone out the window.

“I don’t know you.” I try my best to not slur my words but even I heard myself. It just sounded like a bunch of words mashed together without any chance of recognition.

“Oh yes you do. I’m you. Technically speaking, I’m the other you.”

The distortion in his voice lessened while my vision remained in this hazy dream-like state. My head was pounding along with my heart and the thought of death landed itself down in my head. I focused on the person speaking in front of me. It was still the same, nothing changed. I’m seeing the mask that changed my life forever. A part of me says that this isn’t real but I really don’t have grip on reality to actually judge what’s real and what’s not.

“Long time no see, yes? How have you been?” This person speaks in a casual tone as if everything about this moment is normal.

“Where am I and who are you?” I still couldn’t feel anything below my neck. I don’t know why but I feel like I’m the only one seeing the mask this person is wearing. Maybe I got kidnapped on the way home from that soccer training with Kris…

Wait. That woman… I was talking to her before I out. Maybe she’s the person in front of me and my mind’s just going insane with all the hallucinations and what not.

“Yuri… Yuri… Yuri… Aren’t we done with this phase? I know it’s been a long time but come on. Can you really forget me?” I hear a hint of irritation in this person’s voice.

I chose not to answer. I shook my head and groggily stared at this mysterious person. All I manage to see is a tall figure whose face is hidden beneath that treacherous mask.

“Fine, if you’re gonna be like this then let’s take out really old and dusted out memories you asked me to hide from you.” This person goes behind me and slightly lifts the chair I’m sitting on and puts me at arm’s length away from a TV.

The TV opens and I see a video. The video’s angle suggests that it’s from some kind of CCTV but sound could be recorded from it. The video shows an office. A sense of familiarity hits me and I finally recognize the place. It’s Dr. Kim’s office.

A few seconds into the video and I see myself from years ago. I sat down on one of the chairs and waited for Dr. Kim to arrive. When he does, in his hand, he carried a notebook and a pen.

“Good Morning, Yuri. How’s my favorite patient?”

“I’m… I don’t know.”

“It’s pretty early in the morning. Do you want to do a few exercises to wake yourself up?”

“…”

When I didn’t say anything, Dr. Kim approaches me

“What’s the matter---“

“I remember what happened. I know it all. I lied when I said I didn’t.”

No. Stop. Please.

“Why did you lie, Yuri?”

“I was scared. I didn’t know what to do. I was really scared.”

Please. Don’t say it…

“Okay. Then tell me what happened…that night in that house.”

I didn’t want to hear anything anymore but I couldn’t move. I was helpless. I was screaming in my head but it’s as if I forgot how to speak, I kept my silence instead.

“I… I went to Taekwoon hyung’s house that day. When I got there, no one was home except for him. We went to his father’s room to play. I went around his father’s desk and saw a gun. We both thought it was fake. We took turns swinging it around but then…”

It was all coming back to me and it hurts so much that I know what the next lines were.

“but then I took it way too far and pointed it against hyung’s head. We were laughing and then I heard a voice inside my head. I pulled the trigger and the next thing I knew, Taekwoon hyung was on the floor with a lot of blood. He wasn’t laughing anymore, he turned silent and I didn’t know what to do.” I spoke in parallel with the video.

And in seconds every single feeling and memory came back crashing themselves inside my thick skull. I remembered everything and with that I drowned in the memories that came back.

“Now do you remember me?” the masked person hauntingly asks

I remember exactly who this person is. Every single bit of him…

--

FLASHBACK

Author’s POV

“I didn’t do it…” Yuri said with tears in his eyes

“Stop running away Yuri. Stop lying to yourself. Face the truth.” The person across from Yuri says.

Yuri and this enigmatic masked person were talking inside a white room where nothing else existed but both of them.

“You put the gun against his head when you heard a voice telling you to do so and then you pulled the trigger. That’s what happened Yuri.”

Yuri only shook his head in disagreement but the words that he just heard poked around his mind and then everything started to shift. A moment of affirmation and acceptance happened and the next thing Yuri knew, he was reliving the moment he was given.

--

Author’s POV (Back to the present)

Memories came back to Yuri and finally all the cards were on the table.

“I didn’t call you.” Yuri said in a much more audible and calmed down tone.

“Well, I wouldn’t be here if you didn’t. It seems like you remember everything again.” The masked person says

“It’s your fault. You promised you would take away everything.” Bitterness shrouded Yuri’s voice. The hazy-dream like state he was in no longer bothered him because right now, to him, he was in the reality that he was always sure of.

“Well, technically just like this conversation we’re having, the memories you wanted to forget and basically this whole white room we’re in… it’s all in your head. I’m not real but the memories you discarded were and we both know there’s no absolute way of getting away with that.”

Yuri stayed silent.

“You’re on your own now. I can’t hide those memories from you anymore. In all honesty, I didn’t even hide them. You just thought I did.” The masked person stood up from his place and was about to leave the limitless white box of in Yuri’s head but then something stopped him.

“I know. I’ve always known. I just didn’t want to admit it. I got pretty far too. I lived quietly but then there’s this girl who made me feel like I was a real genuine person and I guess that triggered for everything to explode. The reality I made was touched by something that was ultimately real and pure. She destroyed my perfect reality. The sad part is, she believes in me, not knowing what a monster I really am.” 

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-ymllama