Chapter 18

Normal POV

Yuri and Jessica were standing in front of each other with silence surrounding them. Jessica miraculously managed to ask what has been bothering her all this time. The brown-haired girl could not read Yuri’s expression. The boy in front of her just kept his gaze on her without saying anything. Seeing this, Jessica tried to push her luck even further.

“I just…want to know, okay? I mean I’m so confused. You tell me all these nice things then the next minute you don’t even look at me. I can’t help but feel guilty at times because it feels like you’re waiting for me to say something back but I don’t even know what to say….because I don’t know what your words mean.” Jessica caught her breath, still there was no response from Yuri.

At this point, in Yuri’s mind, a million things ran through his head but none of them were making sense. If it were to be materialized, his mind right at that moment were a bunch of cords entangled with each other. The more he tried to fix it, the more the knots become tighter and more complex than before.

Jessica’s breathing became uneven. She felt frustrated because she was not getting anything from Yuri at all. It was as if she was not even there and that Yuri was just looking right through space. Her grip on her bag tightened and this did not go unnoticed. Yuri looked down at her hands, he saw that her knuckles were slowly turning white. 

Yuri took 2 steps forward, making the gap between him and Jessica barely there. The brown-haired girl froze in her spot. Now it was her turn to stop and stare. Yuri took Jessica’s hands that were still tightly gripping her bag and raised them up a bit. He squeezed them lightly then spoke.

“Stop that. You’ll hurt yourself.” Yuri said monotonously

Jessica immediately loosened her grip once she felt the warmth emitting from his hands. Yuri let go of Jessica’s hands and met her gaze once again.

“I’m sorry if I made you troubled or confused. I meant every word I said to you, so me saying that logically answers your question earlier.” Yuri was looking for a response from the girl in front of him but unfortunately he couldn’t get anything so he tried to paint the picture a bit clearer.

“I guess not. Well, what I’m saying is that yes. I do like you and a whole lot for that matter but right now I’m trying to fix myself. There are things in me that need attention because I’ve ignored them for way too long. It got more complicated than I ever remember it being before and that’s why I’m acting a little bit more odd than usual. I’m not waiting for you to say something back nor am I expecting you to do anything at all. I just thought that honesty was the way to go when I started feeling these things I don’t know anything about.” Yuri caught his breath and took a few steps back. He thought that maybe Jessica felt uncomfortable

“...I don’t know if my words mean much and honestly I think they’re just empty words. Mainly because I haven’t done anything to prove them. Saying that I like you is very different from expressing it. I don’t know anything about the latter but I would still want you to somehow understand that I mean the words I’ve said before.” Yuri continued

Jessica was in the process of taking in Yuri’s words. Out of all the things he said, all that mattered was his answer to her question. She felt a sense of relief and as well as a glint of happiness in the corner of her heart however in the midst of all these she got reminded that this wasn’t what she was aiming for.

He likes me…

Yuri likes me…

“Yuri… I…” Jessica was trying to hook the words that were stuck in . In the end she couldn’t say nothing more.

Yuri let out an audible sigh before speaking yet again

“Let me guess, you’re gonna say that I shouldn’t feel this way about you because you’re a bad person and that you don’t deserve it. Or that you don’t like me back. Or that it’s getting late and that I should go home. Yes?” Yuri amusingly asked. His expression changed a bit, a small smile appeared and was magically plastered onto his face

“Maybe along the lines of your first guess…and maybe a little bit of your third one.” Jessica replied back, also feeling quite amused with Yuri’s play on words. She looked at Yuri earnestly. Her mind was telling her to say exactly what she said to Taecyeon earlier today, to Yuri but her heart was wavering.

“…I just want to make it clear, Yuri. I don’t think I’m ready for anything serious. And on top of that, I’m a complete mess. I have my own problems and you have yours and I’m pretty sure you don’t want to add mine to yours. I really like you too but there are just too many complicated factors that are weighing out the positives here…”  Jessica said half-heartedly

Yuri shook his head and stifled his laugh. Everything Jessica says just makes him feel downright amused. Hearing her say that she likes him back was somewhat comforting. He has heard it before but it was sort of a spur in the moment kind of thing and so he didn’t really think about it that much but now it was different. It definitely felt more sincere and true to him.

“I’m assuming you’re talking about ‘serious’ relationships. Well I don’t know if I’m ready for that too. What I do know is that I like you way beyond what friends should feel about each other. I know this because if I only liked you as a friend then I would’ve treated you like Taeyeon. Again, it’s pretty obvious that, that’s not the case here. “

Jessica was again swayed by Yuri’s words. Just what is this boy doing to her? She wondered. A part of her was saying that she should say no but a bigger part of her was saying that maybe it was time to take a chance. Still even with those percentages, she kept thinking that if things push through like this then nothing good will come out of it. She knew what she was. Jessica thought of herself as a whirlwind of problems who’s trying her best not to involve more people into her destructive path of life.

“This wasn’t how I planned this in my head. You were supposed to agree with me on not liking me back since I’m just a big bag of problems and nothing more. I’m giving you one more chance. I’m not the kind of girl you should be feeling this way with. There are tons of girls who would kill to get your attention, I don’t deserve it.”

Yuri never understood this way of thinking of Jessica. He figured that it had something to do with her past but even so he logically saw nothing for her to be this way. At least for Yuri, it made sense to him that Jessica’s past does not have any ties with what’s happening now.

“Unfortunately, I like you way too much for my own good and there’s nothing you can do about it. I already made my decision, Jessica. I like you and that’s that.” Yuri smiled at the end of his sentence.

Seeing Yuri’s playful side brought out an unexpected smile from Jessica. Was this it? Was she willing to let Yuri see the mess she is? Was she ready to see the mess he is? Jessica’s heart calmed down, that pounding feeling she felt earlier was replaced by a steady and evenly distributed feeling of complete bliss.

“I…You’re…” Jessica was out of words. All she managed to do was smile at the current turn of events. This conversation of theirs made the difference between Yuri and Taecyeon more apparent to Jessica. It dawned her that Taecyeon was someone she looked at as a friend. He can make her smile and laugh and even make her heart flutter a little but he has failed to make Jessica feel the cliché sensation of having butterflies flutter around her stomach and that gut-stirring nervousness whenever he’s around.

“I might act different tomorrow because I’m strange that way but I’ll try my best not to, like I said I have things inside me that I need to fix. Regardless of that, I’m a bit concerned about Taecyeon. He might beat the living out of me tomorrow if he sees me acting all nice around you. I don’t mind him doing that and honestly I would like to see him try but then again I have a permanent record to protect.” Yuri kept the playful mood of their conversation.

With the mention of Taecyeon’s name, Jessica remembered their encounter earlier today which was supposed to be how her on-going encounter with Yuri be as well. Nothing was going her way and she didn’t know to how turn things around except with her words that don’t seem to go through Yuri.

“I told Taecyeon the same thing earlier. He wasn’t stubborn like how you are now. I don’t know what to do with you anymore…” Jessica said almost in a whisper. Her feelings for Yuri are different and that’s one of things that makes the whole act of pushing him away harder

Yuri was at wit’s end. Both of them were being stubborn. Their conversation was just going back and forth with them repeating the same thing’s over and over again. Yuri wanted to end the cycle once and for all. Yuri took a deep breath before opening his mouth and letting his thoughts pour out like never before.

“Well he and I are different. You’re being stubborn too you know. I understand that you don’t want to be in a relationship right now. I completely understand that but what I don’t understand is you telling me not to like you. I’ve said this way too many times before but let me repeat myself, I don’t care about your past, in a sense that I honestly think that my feelings are in no way affected by it. I’m not gonna lie, I do want to know what happened but that’s because I’m interested in you, not because I want to use it as some sort of clincher. I like you because you’re different. I like the way you talk, the way you get flustered, the way you smile, the way you try so hard not to fall asleep during lessons and the way you do everything else you do. What I want you to do is accept the fact that I have feelings for you and that your past is irrelevant to that matter.”

Yuri has spoken more in this conversation than in his entire life. He was quiet boy but in front of Jessica, he had a lot to say it seems. He felt very refreshed because he was able to release some of the things he had unconsciously built up in his mind.

On the receiving end, Jessica was basically at awe. Yuri’s words felt sincere to her because she knew that he wasn’t the type to say much and all of these coming out from him felt surreal to her. Yet again, his words tugged her heart into such a blissful and wonderful trance.

“Kwon Yuri… you’re definitely out of the ordinary.” Jessica shook her head in amusement. This girl couldn’t help but smile widely at what she just heard from the boy in front of her.

“I thought I already made that clear before? I’m sure you’ve witnessed a fair share of my well-rounded oddities. Well, at least now you have a much more meaningful first-hand experience with my weirdness. Kidding aside, you should really go inside now. I wouldn’t want Kris to think horrendous things because I’m keeping his cousin out, late at night” Yuri was stern about the last part

Jessica giggled and bid Yuri goodbye and goodnight with her ever so lovely toothless smile. Yuri stayed in his spot until the brown-haired girl disappeared from his sight. He continued his walk home and when he reached it, he began to process the events that had just transpired. Yuri began to feel his body suddenly become lighter. It was a new sensation for him, actually everything he feels is new. The boy went inside his room and hopped onto his bed. He stared at his ceiling and began to analyze what just happened.

“Jessica Jung…” he muttered. Yuri caught himself smiling at the thought and of course mention of that particular name.

Tonight was a turning point in his predicament and even in his life. This was the start of something new and it has been ages since he felt something new. The confusion he felt before just suddenly felt like it was never there to begin with. Yuri just needed to conform to the reality of things instead of worrying about how every single little thing worked.

Tomorrow was another day and he was hoping that he could stay like how he was now. Yuri hoped that tomorrow he could still be able to say all those things like earlier and not be unrelentingly indifferent.

--

Jessica’s POV

I entered our apartment and went straight to my room. I closed it gently and when I heard the door click, I slid down and ended up sitting on the floor. I tossed my bag aside and buried my face in my palms. I could feel the heat from my face. I must’ve looked stupid while Yuri was talking. I bit my lip, I was stopping myself from smiling because what happened earlier was definitely not supposed to happen but I can’t really lie to myself. I liked what happened. I like it so much that I have to bite my lip to keep myself from smiling.

“Oh my god Jessica. What are you doing?” I muttered to myself

I picked myself up and walked towards my bed. I heaved a sigh and grabbed my pillow. I clutched it with all my might and buried my face in it. I let out a short scream and immediately after I felt my tensed body, relax a bit.

“…What I do know is that I like you way beyond what friends should feel about each other…”

“..I already made my decision, Jessica. I like you and that’s that…”

“…I like the way you talk, the way you get flustered in certain situations, the way you smile, the way you try so hard not to fall asleep during lessons and the way you do everything else you do…”

His words were looping themselves in my head again. I can’t stay like this. I need to talk to someone or else my head is just gonna explode. I grab my phone from my pocket and searched in Tiffany’s name. Seconds after, the call went through and proceeded ringing.

*Ring Ring*

*Ring Ring*

“Jessi~” Tiffany lovingly greeted through me through the line

“Tiff… I have a problem.” I put her on speaker and placed my phone on somewhere near my ear on my bed

“What’s up?” She casually asks me.

I went ahead and told her what happened but since I was still in a daze I wasn’t really able to tell the whole thing in an understandable manner.

“Wait what? Let me get this straight, you turned Taecyeon down because of a reason you were sure of until you talked to Yuri? Why is Yuri involved again? And what did you tell Taecyeon?” 

“I planned to clear things between me and Yuri just like how I did with Taecyeon. The reason I told Taecyeon was that I wasn’t ready for anything serious…..” I whispered the last part. I’m pretty sure Tiffany will understand what I mean

There was a couple seconds of silence before she began speaking and well screaming.

“Wait so if you told Taecyeon that then that means…. OH MY GOD!!!” Tiffany exclaimed. Putting her on speaker is one of my best ideas yet.

“T-that means you LIKE YURI! Like, LIKE-LIKE him!!!” Tiffany kept her voice loud and clear.

Now that the cat’s out of the bag, there’s really no use in denying it. I like Yuri more than what I should be feeling. I already knew this but I’ve only openly said it just now, with Tiffany on the other line spazzing like we’re some kind of idol-celebrity couple she’s been shipping since forever.

“I totally approve of this! I am so happy Jess!! I want to run to your apartment and give you a big hug! Finally, you’re moving on!” Tiffany continued to cheer

Yes, I like Kwon Yuri, the only heir to KGC and apparently he likes me back. What a life, this one is.

“I still have my fears but they’re not as strong as before and I think it’s because of Yuri. I feel bad for Taecyeon though.” I ranted and whined to my best friend.

Just what would my decisions make of Taecyeon? I told him I wasn’t ready for anything serious and then on the same day I talk to Yuri, I’m suddenly feeling like I’m sort of ready. What a fluke I am, really.

“Don’t be. You can’t force yourself to feel the same way about Taecyeon. If it’s Yuri then it’s Yuri. Take your time and see if he’s the guy who can make you feel like you’re ready to take risks again.”

I thought about this for second when Yuri and I were talking.  Was I really ready to take the risk of possibly getting hurt again? Was I really ready to possibly feel happy again?

“And what if he is, Tiff? Do you really think I could handle it? I’m doubting myself… I don’t want to hurt anyone…” I said

As much as I like Yuri, I also don’t want to hurt him. He did say that he wasn’t waiting for anything in return but that doesn’t mean he can’t and or wouldn’t get hurt.

I don’t know if my feelings are strong enough to overcome my fears wholly. Yuri thinks he isn’t ready for anything serious just like me but what if the time he’s ready comes and I’m not? Wouldn’t I be just hurting him by making him wait? I may not know what his problems are but mine is exactly about this whole thing. Falling in love again is something I’m afraid of. I’m like this because I’ve been hurt before and I would do anything not to feel that way ever again. I know it’s naïve for me to think that I can avoid getting hurt but it’s the only way I can comfort myself.

“It all depends on how you’ll feel about Yuri later on. If your feelings are strong enough then I think you can handle it.”

“You know I really didn’t want to be caught up in all this but there’s just something about Yuri that I can’t seem to get away from…”

“Maybe it’s because you’re both weird.” Tiffany teased

I laughed at her remark. I couldn’t deny it. Although, unappealing to hear, I guess I’m attracted to Yuri’s weirdness. I changed the topic by asking Tiffany how her day was and other random stuff. We soon bid our goodbyes and right after ending the call, I got up from my bed and showered. Once I was done, I did some reading then soon felt the exhaustion creep over my shoulders. I went back to my bed again and fell asleep a few minutes after my head hit my pillow.

--

Yuri’s POV

The next day came soon and before I knew it, I found myself already in my classroom and looking out the window just like how I always do. I thought about what happened last night and unexpectedly a smile formed upon my lips. I wonder how things would turn out today. Hopefully, it won’t be awkward when I see her today. I still feel the same way as I did yesterday so that’s a good sign. I was half expecting to wake up feeling different.

The empty classroom was slowly getting filled. After seeing at least half of my classmates enter the room, the one I’ve been waiting for came. Jessica arrived with Kris closely trailing behind her. Our eyes met and like some sort of habit, we smiled at each other. She settled her stuff on her seat while Kris went to his seat which was at the back, next to the empty chair beside mine.

More people came and soon the class was complete. It was almost time for our homeroom period but then the principal’s assistant went to our classroom to inform us that Ms. Hwang Sun Hee will not make it to class so we ended up having an impromptu self-study period. The assistant left us and the whole class did their own thing without making much noise.

The books I have with me now were all for yesterday’s set of subjects. I forgot to return them yesterday after the training session. I took all the books from my bag and stood up. I walked down the aisle and headed for the door. As I got out in the hallway, I heard the door open and close again. I stopped to look who got out of the classroom and to my surprise it was Taecyeon. After identifying who it was, I continued walking but then I heard Taecyeon call my name. I stopped walking again and turned around.

“Can I help you?” I asked.

“I’m sure you know that I don’t like you. I find you annoying and arrogant but since we’re in the same class I can’t really do anything about seeing you almost every day.”

“Please get to your point. I have to be somewhere.” I said. I already know that he doesn’t like me so I don’t really need him to remind me.

“Fine. I’m sure you’re well aware that we both like Jessica, right? Yesterday, she drew the line between us. She told me it was because she wasn’t ready for anything serious but even I know that, that’s not the only reason.”

He furrowed his brows and let out a sigh

“It's pretty obvious that it’s because of you as well. I just wanted to warn you. If I ever hear that you’re just messing around with her, you’ll have to answer to me. I may not know her that well but even I know she doesn’t deserve to be treated that way.”

This is the second time I got warned about hurting Jessica, the first one was Kris. I guess I look like someone who is capable of such a thing which is totally understandable since generally everyone is very much capable of hurting another person. I just find it ironic that both of them warned me about playing with Jessica’s feelings when in fact I can’t even understand my own in some ways.

“If that’s all then I’ll get going now.” I turned around and continued my walk. I didn’t find any reason for me to answer back and so I just left without saying anything.

Well I guess that means Taecyeon wouldn’t be a problem anymore.

--

Normal POV

Yuri walked out of the academic building and headed straight for the lockers, there were a couple of students there when he entered the building for lockers. He got to the end of the hall to where his locker was and proceeded in opening it. As he entered his code and opened his locker, he noticed a small package that sat on top of his books.

He put down the books he was carrying and took out the small white box from his locker. The box felt pretty light when Yuri took it into his palms. There was nothing outside of the box nor was there a card of some sort. Yuri opened the mysterious box and was greeted by a piece paper with writings on it and another small black encasing of the object in question.

DO YOU REMEMBER?

After reading, Yuri took the small black encasement and set aside the box, as well as the piece of paper that was inside. Yuri opened it and saw a necklace. The end of the necklace was a miniature knife sleeve, its color was gold. Yuri looked at the back of the pendant and saw three letters that were engraved on it. (CLICK HERE TO SEE THE NECKLACE)

JTW

In an instant, Yuri’s head started to throb. Images of him and an unknown person flashed in front of his eyes. The intensity of the pain felt familiar. It was exactly the same as when he went to their old house over the summer. Yuri tried to close his eyes to try and contain pain however just like the previous time it was futile. The images he saw in his head were crossing over from clear to just pure distorted. Yuri lost grip of the necklace and got himself leaning onto his locker. Just like the first time, his nose started to bleed and eventually he slipped away from consciousness. Yuri fell on his back and landed onto the floor. The impact he made startled the students who were at the hallway. Seconds after, the students crowded over him, rushing and shouting for someone to call for help.

--

Jessica’s POV

Our homeroom teacher didn’t go to school this morning and so we had a self-study period instead. Yuri left the room right after the principal’s assistant told us about Ms. Hwang and soon after him, Taecyeon followed suit. That made me feel quite uneasy. I kept staring at the door feeling all worried and tensed. I guess Taeyeon noticed me because she called for attention.

“Hey, don’t worry.” She whispered then smiled at me. Like me she must’ve noticed that Taecyeon followed Yuri out.

I gave her a half-hearted smile. I feel like something bad is gonna happen but I tried my best to rid myself of these kinds of thoughts.

Nothing’s gonna happen.

Everything will be alright…

Instead of feeding my worrisome nature, I grabbed my notebook and started writing notes and summarizations of lessons from our book. A few minutes after, the door opened and Taecyeon entered but there was no sign of Yuri. The former went to his seat at the back. Seeing Taecyeon go in alone sparked my worries yet again.

Yuri probably went somewhere else…right?

I found myself thinking about that mysterious overlord again. I wonder where he went. Maybe he went to the lockers? He did have his books with him when he went out. Yeah, that’s probably it, right? Why do I still feel uneasy? I think it’s because I’m afraid of Yuri and Taecyeon confronting each other but something just doesn’t feel right. Is it really because of that?

No. Jessica. You’re just overreacting. Jeez. Calm down.

I resumed doing my notes but I was pretty out of focus so I stopped writing from time to time. I was waiting for Yuri to come back but he never did. Our self-study period passed and still he was nowhere to be found. Taeyeon started to worry too because this was the first time Yuri would ever skip a class according to her.

“Maybe he got called to the principal’s office or something” Taeyeon tried to offer an explanation which is pretty logical but a part of me isn’t buying it. I’ve felt this kind uneasiness before and more often than not, something bad actually happened and that statistic made me even more worried.

Our next class was about to start and still Yuri wasn’t here yet. I mustered all the strength in me and approached Taecyeon at the back. I was having second thoughts about asking him about Yuri since I feel like it’d be awkward and weird for me to do so but even so I did it.

“Uhm, do you happen to know where Yuri went?” I tried to sound as casual as I can

Taecyeon’s expression stiffened but he still answered me

“No idea. I saw him earlier. He told me he had somewhere to go.” Taeyeon answered curtly

Somewhere to go?

Maybe he did get called to an authority’s office or something. He is the top student after all… Students like him get excused from classes all the time for reasons as such. I gave Taecyeon a nod and thanked him. Kris asked me if I was okay since I couldn’t really hide my worries but of course I told him I just felt tired from all the writing I did. (barely did, actually). I went back to my seat and waited for our next period to start. The uneasiness within me didn’t really fade, it just stayed there and when our next teacher came in, I found out why it never left.

“Does anybody know if Mr. Kwon Yuri takes any kind of medicine? He fainted along the hallway.” Our teacher asked once he entered our classroom.

The class started murmuring on their own but no one really answered our teacher. It was because no one really knew if he actually did, even Taeyeon wasn’t sure. My heart suddenly felt heavy and at that moment I just really wanted to go and see Yuri.

--

NORMAL POV

In a park full of children playing around, one boy kept to himself and was sitting under a very tall oak tree. This boy was always alone. Even if he didn’t want to be, something always stopped him from talking to his peers. Seeing the other kids around him play, made him smile a bit. He liked seeing other people smile because for the tiniest moment of his day he felt like he was normal.

“Hey!” Another kid approached the lonesome boy

The latter did not speak but instead looked up and kept silent. Something caught the attention of the former and so he couldn’t help but ask.

“Ohh so you like to draw! I like to draw too! Can I see notebook?” The other kid pressed on. The lonesome boy nodded and gave him his drawing notebook which he had not shown to anybody else, simply because no one asked him to before. The other kid browsed through the notebook and was at awe, the pictures were so detailed and the colors were pretty too.

“Wow and I thought I was good at drawing! You’re 100 times better! What’s your name?” the other kid asked

“My name… my name is ----“

--

HELLO ALL!!!! WOOOOOO HAPPY HOLIDAYS my dear readers!!! I just got back from a trip and it was pretty awesome. 

Sharing time! My friends and I were talking about the whole GG issue. We all had our opinions about what happened then a friend of mine showed us (me and my other friends) Gifs, videos and pictures of Taeyeon and Jessica being awkward with each other in the past. I never really noticed it till that friend of mine showed me. It kinda got me down and that's partly why I updated so late lol BUT always remember OT9 is awesome!! So let's support them all, yes? YES! 

For this update's music, I want to share with you Nell's newest digital single 청춘연가 or Green Nocturne (it actually doesn't translate to that, it's supposed to be Youth Story and or Love Song of the Youth. I don't know where they got Green Nocturne from lolzz) Please do check it out! It's an awesome song and Nell is an awesome band!!!!!! (Nell fanboy here)

 What do you guys think of this chapter? Let me know in the comments! Or tell me what you think about anything! hahahaha 

WELCOME NEW SUBCRIBERS! 

THANK YOU FOR THE UPVOTES AND COMMENTS! THEY ARE VERY MUCH APPRECIATED! :D

-ymllama