Chapter 20

Normal POV

Therapy sessions for Dr. Kim had always been straightforward and to him all of his patients were just part of a daily routine…except for one. Out of all the people he has handled, Yuri interested him the most. Sessions with him had always something new to offer. To Dr. Kim, it was like solving the unsolvable or playing chess with the greatest player this world has ever seen. More often than not, their sessions would go around in circles, only to find out that whatever they were talking about was not in any way connected to what Yuri wants to achieve, which was complete peace within him.

The way the peculiar boy thinks, intrigued Dr. Kim. Yuri’s mental capabilities were superb but something was always missing; his identity. Yuri did not know himself and he has always voiced out the fact that even he doesn’t think that the way he is now is his true self. Change was something Yuri could never bring himself to do, it was a godly task for someone like him.

For Dr. Kim, Yuri was the embodiment of the word ‘challenge’. It was as if he was made to test his abilities in further understanding the complications of the human mind. By far, Yuri’s mind was the most complex he has ever examined. Truthfully, he did not really think that the peculiar boy’s case was no different among the other troubled individuals he has met but time slowly proved him wrong.

When Dr. Kim first tried analyzing Yuri, the former thought that the boy could easily pass off as a sociopath of some sort due to his lack of emotional attachment to anything. Although, he had a sound moral compass, Dr. Kim thought that maybe with a bit of a push, he could be very well capable of something heinous. The human mind is full of secrets. Whether we are conscious of it or not, dark thoughts lurk around our heads. It’s part of what makes us human. We are after all just imperfect beings trying to live out day after day. Yuri, just like everyone else has his own brand of imperfections and flaws. The only question, was if those were ever his to begin with or if he was just mirroring someone else’s.

Fast forwarding to the present time, it dawned Dr. Kim just how far Yuri has gone. There wasn’t any tangible development in finding a solution for the latter’s problem but Dr. Kim figured that what was happening right now just might be the start of something new for his favorite patient.

Dr. Kim had just asked the obviously nervous brunette across from him what she wanted to know about the boy they were both acquainted with. Jessica, on the other end, didn’t know where to begin with. There was just so much she wanted to know about Yuri.

“I guess… to start… Why is he seeing you, Doctor?” Jessica’s hands were clasped together and were resting on her lap. This was the question that will more or less give light to all the other ones she had on her mind. Why was Yuri seeing a therapist? Or in a more direct way, what was wrong with Yuri for him to see someone like Dr. Kim?

“Because he’s brave enough to do so.” Dr. Kim plainly said as if it were the simplest thing.

Jessica’s expression changed. Like Yuri, Dr. Kim had the habit of talking in puzzles and riddles. One more reason to add to the list of why the two get along.

“What do you mean?”

Dr. Kim smiled brightly once again. He was fond of doing this simply because of his motto. ‘Smile at everything you can until life takes that away from you.’

“Everyone in this world is broken in some ways however there are also people out there who are a bit more broken than the others, than us. Yuri is one of those people.”

Jessica’s heart sank at the last few words. She was affected because from the start she knew that there was something fundamentally wrong with Yuri. He wasn’t your average teenager. Jessica thought that Yuri’s behavior was too much to just be a phase. The brunette’s eyes were full of anticipation as she waited for Dr. Kim’s follow up.

“As you may have noticed, he’s not like your peers. That boy may have a brilliant mind but his emotional stability is almost non-existent. I first met him when he was just about 6 years old. Yuri was brought to me by a close friend of mine. That friend was a lawyer and on that day, he just showed up with a little boy silently standing behind him and a court order at hand, demanding me to be his therapist.” Dr. Kim looked back at that fateful day wherein he first met Yuri. It was a rather strange way to have met him but that kind of process wasn’t that unfamiliar for Dr. Kim. He has had patients that were court ordered to see him but none of them were as young as Yuri. Moreover, the doctor was not given any details as to why the boy was mandated to see him as a professional.

“C-court order?” Jessica gulped. Her breathing became a bit uneven, her mind was practically driving her to different kinds of assumptions. The kind of which were not very appealing.

“Yes. I met him because of a legal document that was very lacking if you ask me. There were no details about his case whatsoever. All that was written was an order for me to accept him as my patient and the specifics of the treatment I was to give him. If you can even call what we did back then as treatment.” 

Jessica was so immersed in Dr. Kim’s story that she failed to notice her phone vibrating inside the front pocket of her blazer.

“I was instructed to see him once a week and to just basically baby sit him. I wasn’t allowed to ask him too much. Our encounters back then ended up with me doing all the talking since Yuri was not that responsive. Truthfully, I felt insulted. It was as if they were belittling my profession but then again it was me against the court who ordered it. My chances were slim, that and the lawyer who brought him was a friend of mine.”

“Did you ever find out why he was brought to you in the first place?” Jessica asked with her mind determined to hear the end of this story.

“No but I’m not the only one. Yuri, too, is just as clueless as me.” Dr. Kim let out a sigh.

As more words were spoken, it had only brought confusion upon Jessica and nothing more. 

“I don’t understand, Doctor. How can he not know why?”

To break the very tense atmosphere, Dr. Kim got up from his seat and went to his little pantry room. He poured Jessica a cup of tea and went back to his office proper.. He placed the cup on the table, earning a confused look from Jessica.

“You might as well have something to calm you down now before I tell you what I know.” Dr. Kim went back to his seat and comfortably sat while the girl across from him, didn’t dare move an inch.

“…It’s not that he doesn’t know. He actually doesn’t remember. You see, Yuri has dissociative amnesia. It results from a psychological cause as opposed to direct damage to the brain. There is a certain period in his life that he does not remember at all. He has bits and pieces from that period however he is not sure whether those are real or just fabricated memories courtesy of his intricate mind. He doesn’t know why he changed, he told me he just woke up one day being the way he is now. And because of that he has grown a strong sense of hate for himself. His case is quite severe, he doesn’t show it but it’s all in his head. A person could only hate himself so much but for Yuri it’s the only thing he feels.” Dr. Kim paused to look at Jessica but he got no reaction from her whatsoever. Jessica just listened and nothing more.

“He might say that he feels nothing or what not but he’s just masking it to prevent the people around him from asking because if anything he doesn’t want to talk about it. He wants to suffer alone. I’m actually quite surprised at how good he is at pretending. He walks around, appearing ‘okay’ to people but the truth is he isn’t. With so much hate in his head, I’m amazed that he hasn’t even tried taking his life away. Instead, he drowns himself in hate which is as bad as the latter. When you live a life where you balance being okay on the outside and constantly reminding yourself of the hate you have for yourself on the inside, that’s when you’ll be able to understand Yuri at the slightest instance. Unfortunately, that’s not everything. I know he still has a lot to share and I’m not sure if there’s anything worse than that but chances are, there is.”

Jessica let out the breath that she unconsciously kept in. Her heart felt even heavier and tears were already forming in her eyes but she held on to them. Jessica needed to compose herself, she didn’t want Yuri to see her like that, not when he had bigger problems on his own. She couldn’t even begin to imagine the struggle Yuri silently goes through every day and even if she did, just thinking about it breaks her heart. It wasn’t because she liked Yuri, it was because she knew that Yuri doesn’t deserve to feel that way. No one ever does.

An idea struck Dr. Kim. He wasn’t sure how Yuri would take it but from the looks of it, his patient might just be open to try new things. Ever since the boy got himself under to Dr. Kim’s care again, the latter has been trying all sorts of exercises that may help Yuri remember the things he forgot but none of them worked. He noticed the sudden change in his patient when he met Jessica. The changes were subtle but they were there. It was evidently there when Yuri decided to drop by his office a bit earlier than his scheduled visits but even then Dr. Kim was doubtful of Yuri’s so called progress but today is a whole new different story. It now made sense to Dr. Kim that Jessica might really be of big help to Yuri. Dr. Kim liked the idea of his patient exploring and expanding his social horizons. It might be irrelevant in the whole remembering process but he was hoping that along the way something in Yuri would trigger itself which would help him, just like how something unknown triggered him to forget that certain period of his life.

“Jessica, could you do something for me?”

--

Maybe letting her meet Dr. Kim wasn’t such a great idea after all, Yuri thought. The two got out of the building and headed for the bus stop that was conveniently placed a few steps away from Dr. Kim’s building. They sat down on the bench and there silence found them. Yuri looked at Jessica but couldn’t tell what she was thinking. There was absolutely nothing written on her face and Yuri wasn’t sure if that was a good sign. At this point, Yuri couldn’t possibly do anything to fix what has been done.

“Do you tell Dr. Kim everything?” the brunette suddenly asked. Yuri turned to face Jessica but she wasn’t looking at him. Her attention was on the road.

“No. I know I’m supposed to but I leave stuff out. I only see Dr. Kim to get his views on things then from there I try to figure it out on my own.”

“I see...” She said almost in a whisper.

This is what Yuri worried about. It seems like the boy’s plan to make Jessica trust him is heading somewhere else rather than towards its goal. The bus arrived and the two got on it with no words exhanged at all after that small conversation they had. The ride back was a little bit longer than earlier since there was a bit of traffic along the way. Their stop came and the two swiftly got off the bus. They walked side by side with silence still looming over them like an enormous shadow. A lot of thoughts ran through Yuri’s head. He was trying to figure out what to say to her. He felt as though explaining things will just make the current situation worse but at the same time, keeping silent gives way for Jessica to misunderstand things. It’s pretty much a lose-lose situation.

Soon enough, they reached Jessica’s apartment complex. They both stopped walking and Yuri turned to face Jessica.

“Thank you for coming with me today. I’ll see you tomorrow then.” He said before turning away. The boy was about to go on his way when he felt Jessica grab his wrist. Her actions were too sudden that it made Yuri jerk a bit.

“Do you trust me?” Jessica asks Yuri in all seriousness. It took the latter a few seconds to process her question. The whole wrist grabbing distracted Yuri and left him dumbfounded for a while.

“I wouldn’t have brought you there if I didn’t.” Yuri finally answers back. Jessica firmly held Yuri’s wrist and it seemed like she wasn’t gonna let go of it any time soon. He met her gaze and tried to draw just what on earth Jessica was thinking. She looked a bit hesitant but at the same time she wore this determined look.

“Then tell me everything.” Jessica said. When those words escaped her lips, everything for Yuri just stopped. He stared at her for the longest time, trying to get himself together. Maybe it was because he thought that she would run off after he brought her to Dr. Kim, and her asking this caught Yuri off guard. Strangely enough, Jessica still had the audacity to know more about the peculiar boy as if she wasn’t a bit frightened of the fact that he wasn’t quite normal.

 “Are you sure about that? You might not like me afterwards.” This was Yuri’s attempt to lighten up the mood. He doesn’t like it when Jessica was this serious. It makes him feel uneasy all over. Her grip on his wrist tightened. Yuri heaved a sigh and gently removed Jessica’s grip on his wrist but held her hand instead.

“You’re better off not knowing. It’ll just drive you away and I don’t want that.” If meeting Dr. Kim didn’t drive her away, Yuri was sure that telling her everything would. There are things that are best kept within ourselves because that’s what’s best for everyone, especially in Yuri’s case. The look Jessica gave the latter made him think that she wasn’t gonna let this go and indeed she didn’t. Little did Yuri know that the next words he would hear from Jessica would be the first words he’ll be holding onto and for a very long time at that.

“Let me help you. If you could do that for me then I’ll do the same. I won’t go anywhere, I promise.”

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HELLO DEAR READERS!!!!! HELLO TO NEW ONES TOO!!!

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!

This is a short update but don't worry the next would be pretty lengthy!!!! 

Thank you to everyone for supporting this story and welome dear new  readers!! WOOO

As always let me know what you guys think about the story so far, down at the comment section! THANK YOU!! 

(sorry no music recommendation this week) 

-ymllama