Chapter 28

WARNING CONTAINS STRONG LANGUAGE!

--

“What do you mean he was there before Choa?” Jessica asked.

Taeyeon let out another sigh. She wasn’t fond of this particular memory but the situation calls for it to be remembered again.

“It means what it means. When Choa went up and was about to jump, Yuri was already there. I don’t know what he said but he managed to convince her to step away from the edge…”

Jessica felt something wrong with what Taeyeon was telling her. Her gut feeling tells her that there’s more to the story.

“I know it’s a lot to ask for your trust but that’s exactly what I need from you right now, Taeyeon.” Jessica sounded more serious than ever. She wasn’t gonna let this go. Not until she gets to hear the full story.

“This isn’t about trust, Jessica. It’s just that…” Taeyeon paused for a second to look around, she was afraid people might hear them. “…it’s something we shouldn’t talk about freely.”

Jessica only got more confused as the conversation progressed. Taeyeon suddenly grabbed Jessica’s wrist and gently tugged her along. She figured that if they were gonna talk about that particular incident, they should find some place where there’ll be no risk of anyone hearing them. Taeyeon brought Jessica behind the bleachers near the soccer field.

“Okay. I know you’re probably weirded out right now but hear me out. No one really talks about that incident because we were specifically told not to.”

“By who?”

“By the school. We were encouraged to just forget that it even happened.”

Jessica thought about it for a second. A student who almost committed suicide is definitely news worthy, let alone a student from a very prestigious school. She thought back to any kind of news like that from last year but nothing came to her mind. Everything was completely under wraps.

“Choa is from a family full of politicians. The school did everything it could to minimize the noise about the incident. It also didn’t help that Yuri was involved, given his background and all but everything turned out fine, more or less. What the school couldn’t control was the students’ reaction to all of it. Everyone distanced themselves from Choa and Choa did the same. Even the friends that wanted to stand by her couldn’t keep up with the way Choa was acting up.” Taeyeon continued

Taeyeon looked like a mix or nervousness and regret. Regret because she was having second thoughts on sharing this particular incident to Jessica. It was something she didn’t want to remember. Jessica waited for Taeyeon to go on with this piece of the past that has caught her attention but Taeyeon looked like she didn’t want to go any further into the story.

“Taeyeon please…” Jessica said softly. Her eyes were practically begging Taeyeon to spill the beans and as hard as it was for the latter she did it.

“That day…I was with Yuri before everything happened. I didn’t see anything wrong with him that day, he was his usual self but then something really weird happened when the starter pistol went off…”

“The what?” Jessica repeated, not quite catching the last part.

“The starter pistol. You know? That thing they use to signal the start running competitions.”

--

Flashback

Taeyeon prepared a small tower of chocolate pie snacks for Yuri in celebration of his impending transition into becoming the team captain of Whimoon’s soccer team. Though the announcement hasn’t been made yet and it was only the end of the first term, everyone knew that there was no one else in line for the position except for Yuri. Taeyeon also wanted to congratulate Yuri for being the MVP of the last game they had against another school.
During their lunch break, Yuri left the classroom first and went off on his own way. This led to Taeyeon searching all over the school for quite some time when finally her search came to its end at the school’s running field track.

“Yuri!” Taeyeon called out but to her dismay her friend did not respond as he had his headphones on and was looking over at the field. The school’s track and field athletes were gathered around the area to train for their upcoming competition.

Taeyeon slowly approached her friend planning to jump scare him but again to her dismay, before she could even touch Yuri, he had already looked over towards her direction.

“Really, Yuri? Really? I call you out like a crazy person and you don’t respond but when I actually try and sneak up on you, you notice me?” Taeyeon teased

“I guess. What are you doing here?” Yuri asks as removes his headphones and hangs it around his neck instead.

“Well since you asked in a rather nice tone, I’ll give you this!” Taeyeon whips out her hand from her back and shows Yuri a small tower of choco pies placed on a small plastic plate.

“Tada! Congrats, MVP and team captain!”

Yuri for a second smiled but then shook his head.

“Thank you but they haven’t announced anything yet. Don’t get your hopes up.”

“Like there’s anyone else! Your record speaks for itself!”

Yuri sighed and shook his head again. Truthfully, he has been thinking of quitting soccer. He didn’t have a reason to quit but he also didn’t have a reason not to. The thought just occurred to him naturally but like how he is, the idea itself was undone and was just another fragment of something he can’t complete.

“Shouldn’t you be with your other friends? It’s lunch time, go eat.”

“Uhh how about no? I’m not just gonna go and not have some of these.” Taeyeon sits down beside Yuri and gets one pie for herself. Yuri reverted his attention back to the field. The athletes were doing their own sets of warm-up exercises.

“Are these new?” Taeyeon asks as she points at Yuri’s headphones.

“Yes.” Yuri replies curtly. He takes off his neck and gives to Taeyeon.

“What happened to your old one?” Taeyeon asks as she inspects the pair of headphones

“I sold it then bought this one. It blocks out noise better and it’s wireless too so it’s more convenient.”

Taeyeon nods and tries on the headphones. She found herself agreeing with Yuri. It did block out noises for good. She absolutely didn’t hear anything except the music Yuri played from his phone which happened to be a piano piece by someone whose name escapes Taeyeon. The piece felt familiar and she knew the title, it was at the tip of her tongue but she couldn’t figure it out. She got over it and just listened to the soothing tones of this particular piano piece.

Yuri looked back at the field once again and noticed the athletes were now lining up side by side. Taking their crouched positions, readying themselves for the sprint. What came next was a loud bang coming from the starter pistol that the track and field couch fired up in the air. It signaled the start of the run of the athletes.

In that instant Yuri’s world collapsed. Pain surged through his head and the intensity of it shook his body along. Taeyeon caught sight of this and immediately removed the headphones.

“Yuri! Your nose is bleeding!” Taeyeon says as she sees the trail of red substance coming from Yuri’s nose.

Yuri placed his hand over half of his face, squeezing it as an attempt to contain the pain he felt but it was useless. Images started to flood his mind, the kind which he didn’t want to see. His breathing became fast and uneasy.

“Yuri! Yuri! Hey!! Are you okay? Let’s go the clinic!” Taeyeon shouted but he wasn’t responding. The latter had his head down and his body still shaking involuntarily.

Yuri looked at his side, towards Taeyeon’s direction but instead of his friend, he saw someone else.

“S-stay away from me!” Yuri swallowed hard and slightly fell on his back.

Taeyeon felt stunned with Yuri’s words. She sat there frozen, not moving an inch. Even if his voice was shaky and unstable, Taeyeon felt the seriousness of it all. In the end she only watched Yuri get up on his feet and stagger away from her.

--

Present time

“I didn’t actually hear the sound of the starter pistol since I was wearing his headphones but I was looking at the field and whatever happened to Yuri that day came after when the pistol went off. I know this because starter pistols release smoke when it's fired. The one the coach used that day had colored smoke. The next time I saw Yuri that day was up at the bell tower with Choa, while I was at the grounds along with several students."

“It probably triggered a memory…” Jessica absent-mindedly said out loud

“Huh?”

“Nothing. Listen Taeyeon I think I can handle Choa by myself. So can you just tell me where she is?”

“No, okay? If something happens to you…” Taeyeon heaves a sigh “…I’m pretty sure Yuri will go after me and that’s the last thing I want.” Taeyeon tried to lighten up the conversation but then again what she said is true. Yuri going after her is the last thing she would want. In all the years she has known Yuri, she never once did see Yuri angry. And she wasn’t about to find out.

“I’ll be fine. I promise. We already talked, you know? Me and Choa. She doesn’t seem like a bad person.”

Taeyeon bites her lip turns around but then returns right back in front of Jessica.

“You’re killing me here Jessica!”

“Please Taeyeon. I can handle this. Trust me.”

Yet another sigh threatened to escape from Taeyeon’s lips but she stopped herself and just gave up.

“Choa…Choa hangs out at the music hall. If she’s not there then I don’t know…”

--

Jessica’s POV

The minute Taeyeon told me where Choa hangs around, I gave her a tight hug and went on my way. To be honest I absolutely had no idea where the music hall is. I had to check the campus map that was placed near the entrance. I discovered that the music hall was another term for the auditorium. The auditorium had an annex that had practice rooms for the various music-related clubs.

When I got to the annex building, there was no one there. The closer I got, the heavier my footsteps felt. This Choa girl knows something about me and more importantly something about Yuri. I have to know the extent of her knowledge. I have to know how and where she got what she knows.

I walked through the hall of rooms, looking at each one through its small window on each door. I got to the middle of the hall when I finally spotted a familiar side profile. I stopped in front of the door and knocked. Choa turned her head towards my direction and gave me a confused look. I entered the room without any hesitation but stopped right by the door. Choa was sitting in front of a small piano, she had music sheets sprawled over the holder of the piano.

“Let me guess… You’re here because you want me to tell you everything I know about Yuri.”

“And what you know about me.” I added.

Choa shows me this sarcastic smile as she says “I’ve already told you what I know about you and trust me, Yuri’s story is much more interesting.”

“No. Tell me everything.” I tried to sound as intimidating as I can to let her know that I mean business. (but if I were Choa right now, I wouldn’t be scared or intimidated at all. I couldn’t possibly be because it’s me we’re talking about here. Lanky and fragile Jessica Jung.)

“Whoa there tigress. What exactly will I get if I tell you what I know? You didn’t even listen to me when I tried.”

“I need to know everything before I can decide whether to believe you or not.”

Choa didn’t speak for a while. I could see that she was thinking about it hard. I’m not leaving here without knowing what she knows. I need to push her a bit to make her talk.

“The incident last year… is that where what you know came from?” I tried to be careful about my words but I really needed to know.

“Smart girl. If you know as much then you should also know that your guy, Kwon Yuri was up that bell tower as well.”

I swallowed the lump in my throat and tried not to sound unstable even though for whatever reason I felt nervous in that moment. Maybe because I was afraid to know. Or maybe because I already know the answers to my question and I’m just afraid to confirm them.

“Why was Yuri there?”

“From what I saw… he was probably there to do the same thing I was supposed to do. And I would’ve done it but then your guy decided to become a hero and talked me out of it.”

Yuri? Wanting to kill himself? Why… just why…

I didn’t dare to speak at all. I wanted the whole story out of her.

“Like what everybody else knows, I came up there to end everything. When I got there I didn’t see him at first. Believe me when I say that I was really out of it that day but when I saw him, I knew that I was better off.” Choa stands up from her seat and closes the door that I left open. After doing so, she stands right in front of me and looks me in the eyes.

--

Flashback

Choa’s POV

This is it. Park Choa’s last day on earth. I am nothing now and I’ll still be nothing when I do it. It’ll be messy and probably a sight to see but at least when I hit the ground the pain will stop just like how everything will. Sometimes it just takes one simple push to get people to even consider what I’m fully prepared to do today. And it did, well in my case that is. I convinced myself to ignore everything until it just exploded right in my face and now I’m here. Waking up, wanting to end my life. I will be honest about one thing though, it wasn’t supposed to be like this. I wasn’t supposed to feel this. At one point the pain I felt, the pain I’ve always felt went away and it wasn’t supposed to find me again but it did because the person who made me forget left. If this was the old me, I would absolutely slap present me right across the face for being so pathetic. It’s pathetic how I let myself get so affected by this person. It’s also pathetic how I let my guard down and now I’m here, at this breaking point. There’s no turning back now.

I made my way up the bell tower. To my surprise the door leading to the top was busted open. I’m not sure if it’s always been like this but that doesn’t matter. If anything it makes things easier for me. I got out in the open and felt the cold gentle wind brush past my face. Today was a perfect day. The weather was perfect. It wasn’t hot but it wasn’t cold either. It was perfect. Too bad I’ll ruin it with my little stunt but like everything else in this world, I’ll be forgotten and disregarded. All it takes is time. Heck that person did it to me in a blink of an eye, who’s to say that the other people around me wouldn’t do the same? Standing before my so called end, made me realize how stupid, us, human beings are. It’s stupid to rely on each other because at the end of the day, everyone is just looking after themselves and no one else.

I took a deep breath and placed my hands on the rails. The railings weren’t that high so I got across and landed on the edge easily. With my hands at my back, still holding onto the railing, I closed my eyes and tried to calm myself down.

Okay Choa. This is it. Just let go and everything will end.

For some pathetic reason I wanted to calm myself down. I didn’t want to die feeling all panicky and whatever. I sure as hell didn’t want to scream down to my death. No. That wouldn’t do. I need to do this as calm as possible. As I mentally chanted myself to reach my zen point or whatever they call it, something caught my ears. I looked to my right and at that very corner I saw someone. Whoever this person was, was talking to someone on the phone.

“I didn’t do it… I didn’t… It wasn’t me… I was there but… No. Maybe I did it… I did it, didn’t I? I did. I.. should follow him right? I should die too?”

“Hey! Hey you! What the hell? Hey!” This guy is either deaf or he’s just really ignoring me.

It took him awhile but when he turned his head, I finally saw his face. It’s Kwon Yuri. The soccer star of Whimoon is up here at the bell tower with me, crying his eyes out like a little boy.

“What the ? Kwon Yuri? The hell are you doing here?” If he’s here to kill himself too, he better find another spot. I’ve been planning this for a week now. I don’t care if he got here first. Cursing out loud actually made me feel better. I didn’t know it could feel this liberating from uttering a more or less socially unaccepted word. That doesn’t change anything though. I’m still here to end my ever so un-fairy like life. Actually, it could be a fairy tale, just a really ed up one.

“I didn’t do it. I didn’t… I swear but I don’t remember what happened…. You’ll believe me right?” Yuri says dropping his phone on the ground.

I absolutely have no idea what the hell this guy is saying but I really don’t have time for this. (Though it’s comforting to know that I’m not the only one who’s ed up in the head in this school. Who would’ve thought that Whimoon’s precious Kwon Yuri is a ing nut job like me? Scratch that. He might just have more loose screws in his head than I do.)

Any minute now the whole student body will be walking through the campus for lunch break and I would rather kill myself without such an audience.

“Hey buddy. I don’t know what the you’re saying but you better get out of here. This is my spot. Go find somewhere else to die.”

I guess the word ‘die’ is his trigger happy word or something because he started spazzing like crazy. He had both hands on his head and I could tell he was in pain. Who isn’t anyway? And with my unfortunate luck the bell rang. (not the one that’s hanging behind us)

“Great. Just ing great.” I said under my breath

I looked below and students started flocking around. It started with one student pointing up at me and then from that one person, people gathered right in front of the bell tower. Everyone looks so tiny from up here, a real sight to see but even I can distinguish students from teachers. One of the faculty members had a megaphone with him. Telling me to calm down and step away from the edge, it’s all bull by the way. What the hell does he think saying that can do?

“If any more come up here, I’ll really jump! It’s bad enough I got this weirdo with me up here!” I shout with all my might.

I’ll jump no matter what. I just didn’t want them to send people up here. I’m already having enough trouble with this guy up with me. I turned my head to Yuri’s direction, to my utter surprise, he’s standing much closer to me than before. His eyes were felt like daggers. I can’t really describe but to be literal, Kwon Yuri really was looking through me.

“Don’t do it… please. Don’t die. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do it. Just please don’t die again. I promise I’ll be good now. I won’t do anything. Please. I can’t live like this anymore. I’m sorry for what I did. I didn’t know what I was doing but please I can’t live through seeing you die again. I just can’t, hyung. Please.”

Kwon Yuri, Whimoon’s top student and soccer star says to me with this pleading look in his eyes. Tears were threatening to leave my eyes. For whatever reason everything in me went off. I’m aware that he wasn’t probably talking to me and he was probably imagining someone else but the feeling was there. My grip on the railings got tighter.

No. I can’t let this guy talk me out of it. I don’t even know him. I just see him all the time on the school paper. I’ve made up my mind right? I’ve decided to end my life today. Park Choa dies today. I claimed it this morning and nothing should stop me. No one can stop me. No one should stop me.

Right?

--

Present Time

Jessica’s POV

“I don’t know why but after hearing what he had to say, I couldn’t jump.” Choa bitterly smiled and continued “Yuri fainted right after I backed away from the edge. We were both sent to the clinic but he didn’t stay long. A doctor took him to the Kwons’ private hospital.”

A lot of questions ran through my head. Why did Yuri say those things to Choa? And who was he talking about when he said ‘hyung’? I’m pretty sure Yuri is an only child, he did say it himself. I have this unnerving feeling that Choa knows more.

“You’re giving me that look again. That look that just screams that you don’t trust me and I do understand that but let’s be honest… In this hole, I’m the only you can really trust.”

“Then make me understand. I know you know more than what you’re saying right now. Even that thing about me that absolutely no one else but the other two persons involved should know, you are somehow aware of. I want to understand how all of this ties together.”

“If you must know the three of us are connected somehow. In a really ed up way, that is.”

“Please explain…” I pleaded

“Jung Taekwoon. Does that name ring a bell?”

My mind immediately clicked. The necklace, it had those initials. JTW. Could it be? I took out the necklace and showed it to Choa. She eyed it carefully and gave me this confused look.

“What’s that?”

“Someone placed this inside Yuri’s locker. To be honest, I thought it was you… This necklace has the initials JTW, engraved on it. The name you mentioned, Jung Taekwoon right? It fits the initials. Who is he?”

“I didn’t do it. I don’t know if that necklace belongs to him but I do know who Jung Taekwoon is.”

“He fainted after seeing this. This Jung Taekwoon guy. Who is he? And how is he connected to Yuri? I need answers, Choa. You’re the only who can help.”

She looked at me as if she was trying to weigh out her options. I want to find out as much as I can because I want to help Yuri. Nothing more, nothing less.

“12 years ago, a young boy shot himself with his adoptive father’s gun. That boy was Jung Taekwoon. It was all over the news. A lot of people blame the parents’ for leaving a child alone in a house with a gun lying around somewhere but then the police released the results of their investigation. They said it was definitely suicide. An 8 year old boy, committing suicide didn’t sound likely at all. People didn’t buy it but then when the police started talking about how he was always a loner and how he had strange drawings in his notebook, people changed their opinions.”

My heart started to pick up the pace. I knew exactly why it was doing that. At the entirety of our conversation, this was the only time, I wished she would stop because I was afraid to know what came next.

“The police left out something in their report. That boy, Jung Taekwoon, wasn’t alone during his alleged suicide. Another boy was with him.”

In an instant the little things I knew about Yuri went down the drain. All I could see was the young him, in that particular moment. My imagination grew wild. An image of a young Yuri pointing a gun towards someone sent shivers down my spine. My knees felt like jello and all around weak. I was about to fall down but Choa caught me and helped me sit down on the chair near the small piano. I felt weak because it made sense. 12 years ago would make Yuri 6 years old. Dr. Kim told me, he started seeing Yuri at that age too. When Yuri called Choa ‘hyung’, the idea that he was hallucinating and seeing Jung Taekwoon instead of Choa made sense. His cold demeanor, the way he projects himself as the bad guy and every single little thing about him… everything was making sense, just not in the way I wanted it to be.

“Yuri… Yuri was there… and when he called you ‘hyung’ he was… he was talking about Jung Taekwoon…”

Choa didn’t speak. She pursed her lips and looked away from me.

“How did you know that it was Yuri? It could’ve been someone else, right?” I just can't accept this. Even though I can imagine the whole scenario right in my head, I still can't accept it. A 6 year old holding a gun... No. It can't be.

“When I saw him up that tower and heard what he said, I became curious. I dug around and found the answer from a former police detective. He handled that case but he was taken out of the force. It took him forever to tell me what he knew but he did. That’s where I found out that Yuri was there. The investigation was put to a stop so they weren’t able to process any more of the evidence. They never found out whether Yuri did the deed or not. That’s where I come in. I’m not saying that he did it because even I’m not sure myself. He could’ve said those things to me when were up at the tower because he was carried away or what not but that doesn’t change the possibility of it all.”

It was my turn to be silent now. I didn’t know what else to say. I didn’t even know if something should be even said in these kinds of situation. I don’t know what I should believe in. I don’t know anything.

“If I hadn’t gone there in the first place, I would’ve never became curious nor be interested in digging around Yuri’s past. It all comes down to my reason for going up there and coincidentally… you’re part of the reason.”

When I thought that I’ve had my fair share of incredibly shocking news, Choa decides to drop more. I can’t blame her, I did just moments ago tell her I want to hear everything.

“I know about your scandal. Well, fake scandal that is. You were covering for someone else which by the way I think was stupid. You should’ve let them figure it out on their own.”

Again, I chose not to speak. I wanted to be careful. For all I know, she may not know everything. I didn’t want to risk letting more things loose.

“Tell me was it worth it? Covering for Hyomin and that Daniel?”

--

HELLO! 

How are you my dear readers? 

Hope you liked this chapter! Tell me what you think down at the comments! 

Thank you for all the support! 

:D 

Peace! 

-ymllama