Nervousness wasn’t a feeling Jessica was familiar with. She rarely felt nervous, maybe because she next to never put herself in situation where she would feel it. And now when she felt her heart beat fast, and she fidgeted with her fingers, she felt really silly.

I feel like a twelve year old asking my crush out on a date. Jessica thought as she watched student after student leave the classroom she was standing outside of. She bit her lower lip, anticipating the person she was waiting for to exit the room.

When fewer students were leaving the classroom Jessica felt it was strange. And despite not wanting to she sneaked her head inside to see if the girl she was waiting for actually was there. Her eyes landed on a classroom where Taeyeon wasn’t.

“Jessica, what are you doing here?” Tiffany suddenly appeared. Jessica blinked and snapped out of her surprise and turned to the girl.

“Is Taeyeon skipping class?” Jessica asked surprised. She couldn’t come up with a reason for the girl to skip class. The only time she knew Taeyeon had skipped class it was because of her, but Taeyeon wasn’t with her, so she saw no reason for her to not attend class.

“No.” Tiffany’s eyebrows furrowed. “Taeyeon is sick today.” Tiffany said.

“Oh…” Jessica’s shoulders slump. The day she had decided to talk to the girl she wasn’t here. And she wasn’t sure if she was relieved or disappointed that she wasn’t able to talk to her.

“I wanted to talk to her about something…” Jessica said and glanced at Tiffany.

“Well, I’m sure Taeyeon is home if she’s sick. I’m sure she would be happy if you paid a visit.” Tiffany said.

“Yeah, maybe.” Jessica said.

She wasn’t so convinced though. If she visited Taeyeon while she was sick and dropped the bomb on her she was sure Taeyeon would have wished she had a terminal disease.

“Do you know what kind of sick she is?” Jessica asked.

“No, I texted her to see how she is but she hasn’t responded. She’s probably sleeping.” Tiffany said.

Jessica nodded her head and turned to leave the girl to get her lunch. Maybe she should pay Taeyeon a visit to see how the girl is doing? And maybe she could tell the girl after all. Besides Jessica shouldn’t halt her whole world just because someone is sick.

Jessica was just concerned that the girl might get worse if she hears something bad while being sick.

---

She didn’t know why she was there, and why she had brought something along with her, but she had. And now when she was standing outside the apartment of her girlfriend, Jessica saw no turning back. The blonde girl sighed and glanced down at her hand where the bag of chicken soup was. She didn’t know why, but bringing something for her sick girlfriend felt right. Like a bandage on the wound she would soon cause.

Jessica looked back at the door. She only needed to ring the doorbell. But that felt like a dreading task, as she knew she had somehow walk into that apartment, strike up some sort of conversation with the girl, and then drop the bomb.

The bomb that felt heavier than it ever has been.

The girl tightened her jaw, and finally brought up her free hand and rang the doorbell. She waited. Her heart pounded hard against her chest. But the door didn’t open. She rang the doorbell again, thinking it was strange that no one was opening. If Taeyeon was asleep, at least the girl’s mother could open the door, right?

She waited a minute longer, and there was still no sign of the door opening. Jessica thought it was strange, she didn’t even hear a sound coming from the inside. With a shrug of her shoulders she took her phone out from her pocket, maybe calling Taeyeon would get the girl to open the door?

She dialed the girl’s number and pressed the device against her ear. One signal went, two signals went, three signals went, and after the tenth signal went Jessica lowered the phone from her ear. It was strange of Taeyeon to not answer. Maybe the girl was in the shower? But why would she shower if she was sick? Jessica didn’t know but figured if Taeyeon was doing something so she wasn’t able to answer the girl would call her back when she could.

With a sigh Jessica took a seat outside of the door. She didn’t know how long it would take for Taeyeon to notice she had tried contacting her, but she hoped it wouldn’t take long. Waiting wasn’t Jessica’s favorite activity.

Minutes passed and Jessica was growing impatience. And even though she had considering leaving something told her she should stay. Something nagged at her on the inside. A bad feeling. Like something bad was going to happen, or had happened.

Steps in the staircase made Jessica jump up on her two feet. Her heart was beating fast as she realized Taeyeon might have gone out, maybe o buy medicine or something, and was on her way home now. She felt nervous as she didn’t know how Taeyeon would react when seeing her outside of her door. And she panicked when she realized she didn’t know what to tell the girl if she asked what she was doing there.

The steps were getting closer, and Jessica was getting more nervous by each meter they got closer. When they finally seemed to slow down, and she saw that it wasn’t Taeyeon, but someone that looked similar to the girl, Jessica relaxed.

Taeyeon’s brother stopped when he saw Jessica, and the girl realized he must be surprised to see her on the outside, when the last time he had went here and Jessica had been there she had opened the door for her.

“Have you been kicked out?” Kangin asked surprised. Jessica let out a small laugh at the guy’s questions.

“It’s hard being kicked out when I haven’t even been let inside.” Jessica said.

Kangin’s shoulders slump and he glanced at the door. “No one opened?” He asked.

“Nope. Not Taeyeon that’s supposed to be home sick, and not your mom who is supposed to be home…just being home.” Jessica said. She glanced at the bag of groceries the guy had brought once again, she felt bad for him when she realized that he probably wouldn’t be able to enter with them if Taeyeon was home.

“Oh, well…in that case, can you take this and just tell them it’s from you. I’d rather not be here if Taeyeon is home…” The guy said and reached out the bag of groceries.

“Sure.” Jessica said and took the bag. She wondered why Taeyeon was so against her brother, he seemed like a really nice guy, and he seemed to genuinely want to help out.

“Thank you.” Kangin faintly smiled and turned to leave, but to his horror someone was walking up the stairs. He turned to Jessica, terror on his face, and he quickly walked to the side, like he was hiding from whoever was walking up the stairs.

For his sake, Jessica hoped it wasn’t Taeyeon. And for her own sake, she hoped it was the girl.

The person reached their floor. And Jessica found herself to be on the lucky side, and Kangin to be on the very unlucky side.

“What the are you doing here?” Taeyeon said when her eyes fell on her brother.

“I…” Kangin was scared speechless. He glanced towards Jessica, and Taeyeon turned and her eyes fell on the blonde girl, that wasn’t sure if she could step in between the siblings.

Taeyeon eyebrows furrowed and she turned back to her brother. “Why are you with her?” The brunette girl asked and pointed at Jessica.

“I-it’s not what it seems like. I just came here with some food for mom and she was here waiting for you.” Kangin finally found the words to defend himself.

Jessica saw that Taeyeon’s face darkened and she spun around. For the first time she had met the girl, Jessica was afraid of being close to her, and now when Taeyeon was marching towards her she wasn’t sure if she should back away or stay in her position.

Just when she thought Taeyeon would launch at her, the girl snatched the bag of groceries from her hand, how Taeyeon had figured out that was the food Kangin had brought was unknown to her, but what Taeyeon did afterwards, shocked her.

“She doesn’t need your ing food because she’s in the hospital!” Taeyeon shouted and threw the bag of groceries at her brother.

Shattered eggs, crushed tomatoes, flour and milk laid on the floor in front of Kangin, but the guy seemed to not care about it as what Taeyeon had said had caught his ears.

“Mom’s in the hospital?” Kangin asked.

“It’s none of your business.” Taeyeon said and spun around.

“Taeyeon, please tell me, I want to help.” Kangin begged and stepped closer to his sister.

“No! I don’t need your help. Last time you tried to help someone died, remember?!” Taeyeon snapped.

Kangin’s shoulders slump, and a regretful expression appeared on his face. Jessica felt that this wasn’t something she should be seeing, but she had, and she didn’t know what it was in her, but she went closer to the brunette girl. And even though she had been scared of Taeyeon hurting her when the girl was close to her, she grabbed Taeyeon’s hand, and tried pulling the girl away from the guy.

“Taeyeon, let him go.” Jessica said and tried pulling the girl further away from her brother.

She noticed a painful expression appear on Kangin’s face, and the brother turned his head away. When Jessica turned to Taeyeon, she noticed the girl had tears streaming down her cheeks.

Whatever was going on between the two siblings, it had caused deep wounds in both of them. Taeyeon had gotten so deeply hurt that she couldn’t forgive her brother, and Kangin tried to earn his forgiveness, but didn’t seem to be able to forgive himself.

And it pained Jessica to see them like this.

---

Jessica had in some way gotten Taeyeon to go inside, and she had managed to make Kangin leave. And without questions or explanations she had brought Taeyeon to the girl’s bed. And Jessica didn’t know how she had managed to do it, but she had managed to make the upset girl fall asleep.

The blonde stared at the ceiling of Taeyeon’s bedroom. There was so much going on in Taeyeon’s life, and the girl seemed to carry so much on her own, without depending on anyone else. And Jessica didn’t want to add more to Taeyeon’s piles of problems. Even though she didn’t want to admit it, but she wanted to help the girl in some way.

Jessica just didn’t know how.