Her hands fidgeted with the phone that was in her hands. Her left foot was tapping impatiently on the floor. The girl’s gaze that had been on the phone was lifted, and her eyes fell on the blonde girl who was in front of the full-body mirror that was in the room. She watched as the girl turned left, turned right, spinning around, before standing in front of the mirror with a frown on her lips.

“You look okay. Can we go?” Jessica asked impatiently from her seat on Hyoyeon’s bed. The girl in front of the mirror spun around towards her, her arms outstretched by her sides.

“Are you sure I look okay?” Hyoyeon asked.

Jessica rolled her eyes and got up from her seat. “Yes, you look perfect. Completely wonderful. Your looks got me all wet. Let’s go now.” Jessica said annoyed and walked to the door. She grabbed the door handle and turned to the girl who still hadn’t taken a step away from the mirror. She sighed.

“What?” Jessica asked.

“You’re so tense today, what’s wrong?” Hyoyeon asked.

Jessica rolled her eyes. “Nothing’s wrong. I just want to get moving.” Jessica said and opened the door to emphasize what she had said.

Hyoyeon gave her a skeptical look, but the girl didn’t stretch the matter any further and went to Jessica’s side, and went through the door was holding open for her.

“You say that. Yet you behave like a tense guy that has been teased to the point of frustration.” Hyoyeon pointed out.

Jessica made no comment on what the girl had said. She focused on getting out of the place instead.

“Has Taeyeon frustrated you?”

“Taeyeon has nothing to do with my mood!” Jessica snapped.

She realized her outburst had been unnecessary. And when she saw Hyoyeon’s surprised look she turned away from the blonde girl. She gritted her teeth, and clenched her fists.

“I’ve just slept too little.” Jessica mumbled and let her fingers brush through her hair. She didn’t add why she had slept too little. She knew the reason, and she also knew the reason was because of something Hyoyeon didn’t understand, something her friend didn’t know about, and something she didn’t want to explain to the girl.

A knowing look appeared on Hyoyeon’s face. The girl smiled and patted Jessica’s back.

“Being up all night watching TV-series is bad, you know you get moody when you lose sleep.” The girl said and went ahead of Jessica.

The blonde girl clenched her hands, she released a raspy breath, and closed her eyes tightly.

If only it had been because of TV-series. If only her life was as simple as Hyoyeon thought it was. If only she had been up all night, wasting her sleeping time watching people acting out the life of characters someone had created.

But she hadn’t. She had been up all night, being unable to go to sleep because of the thought of a girl sleeping in a bed, in another place, with scars on her arms, and a sheet of paper in a drawer next to that bed that told the state the girl had been in.

“Are you coming?” Hyoyeon asked, making Jessica snap out of her thoughts. “You were the one who badly wanted to leave, what are you holding up for now?”

“I’m coming.” Jessica said and went after the girl. She tried to not let her bad mood out on Hyoyeon. The girl had after all nothing to do with it, and explaining anything to the girl was too much of an effort. Too much of trouble for her.

It was better keeping her past to herself, and keeping whatever she knew about Taeyeon’s past to herself as well.

---

She didn’t know how it had happened. But she was sitting in the middle of the couch in some apartment of someone she didn’t know who it was, there was one guy on her right side, talking about something she didn’t was interested in. She had noticed he had been eyeing her since she had gotten into the room, but she just wasn’t interested in him.

A girl she recognized from school was on her other side on the couch. The girl was intoxicated, she was laughing loudly as the guy standing beside the couch attempted to joke. It was so fake. Everything in this room felt fake.

Jessica sighed and shifted the glass she was holding with her right hand to her left. The guy next to her was talking about golf, she thinks. She attempted to listen to what he was saying, but she could only see his lips moving, and some sounds she didn’t understand what it was was coming out of his mouth. She furrowed her eyebrows.

What was she doing here?

She shifted her gaze from the guy to the middle of the room where some people were dancing. A few minutes ago Jessica had caught Hyoyeon in the middle of those people, but now the other blonde girl was gone. Her eyebrows rose, and without explaining anything to the guy that had been having a one-sided conversation with her, she gave the guy the glass she had been holding and she stood up from her seat.

“Where are you going?” The guy asked. Jessica didn’t say anything, and only looked back to make sure the guy didn’t follow her. To her relief, another girl had taken her seat on the couch, and the guy had found someone else to focus on.

The blonde girl left the living room where she had been spending her time since she got there. She went to the kitchen, only to immediately stop buy the door. Her eyes landed on one girl and two guys that were standing around the kitchen table, the three people turned towards her, and from the looks on their faces, Jessica felt like she wasn’t invited into the kitchen.

“What do you want?” The one of the guys asked. The guy took a step forward, and positioned himself in front of the table with his back facing it. Jessica didn’t know why, but it felt like the guy was trying to hide something, like he was blocking her view of the table.

“I’m looking for Hyoyeon.”  Jessica said firmly and crossed her arms in front of her chest.

“Who?” The guy asked.

“It’s the other blonde girl.” The girl that was sitting by the table said.

“She went to the bedroom down the hall with some guy.” The other guy said.

Jessica spun around on her heel and went the way the guy had told her her friend had gone. She stopped in front of a closed door, knocked on it and waited a few seconds before she felt the door handle. It wasn’t locked, and she could enter without problem.

She found Hyoyeon in the room, with a guy on top of her. To Jessica’s relief both of them were still clothed, except for that Hyoyeon’s dress was showing more of the girl’s legs than it should. Jessica frowned and walked up to the pair that was on top of the bed, not minding the guy who glared at her.

“What do you want?” The guy growled.

“Not you.” Jessica answered and yanked the guy away from her friend. The guy had consumed so much alcohol that when Jessica pushed him he easily tripped and fell to the other side. With the guy gone Jessica pulled Hyoyeon up from the bed and led the girl out of the room.

“Hey, we were in the middle of something!” The guy growled, but he was too intoxicated that he couldn’t get up from his position on the floor without falling back on his bum.

Jessica ignored the guy and focused on getting Hyoyeon out of the place. She had had enough, and she wasn’t going to leave an intoxicated girl alone in this apartment. She didn’t know who these people were, and she wasn’t too sure if Hyoyeon was too familiar with anyone. In other words, Jessica wasn’t sure if there was anyone here she could trust to keep Hyoyeon out of harm. 

Jessica didn’t bother about putting on their shoes, and just took the shoes in her hand and walked the girl out of the apartment. She didn’t let Hyoyeon go until both of them were standing in the elevator.

“You should’ve told me if you wanted to leave.” Hyoyeon slurred and sat down on the floor.

“I did.” Jessica mumbled and sat down in front of the girl to help her put on her shoes.

“Didn’t hear ya.” Hyoyeon mumbled.

“Because I didn’t verbally say it.” Jessica said and began putting on her own shoes when she was done putting on Hyoyeon’s.

A giggle escaped Hyoyeon’s lips. Jessica didn’t mind the girl, and stood up from her position on the floor when she had finished putting on her shoes. A ‘ding’ indicated that the elevator had reached the entrance floor, and Jessica helped the blonde girl on the floor to stand up to walk out of the elevator.

“I want hamburgers!” Hyoyeon said and wrapped her arms around Jessica in a hug. Jessica furrowed her eyebrows. Getting hamburgers wasn’t that bad, she didn’t want to go home just yet, so if she could kill some time by feeding Hyoyeon’s drunken cravings, she would do it.

“Okay, let’s get some hamburgers.” Jessica said.

The blonde led her intoxicated friend down the street, holding Hyoyeon’s arm tightly to not let the girl stumble out on the street and get hit by a car. She didn’t have time to get Hyoyeon to a hospital, and frankly, Jessica would rather not go to a hospital at all, and if needed, she might leave Hyoyeon to go to the hospital by herself if something unfortunate was to happen.

---

After what felt like hours of walking Jessica finally arrived at the hamburger place in the middle of the town. The hamburger place was located opposite a pizzeria, and the two food places always seemed to try to have the best offers for the best prices, trying their best to get the youngsters to choose their place to eat.

This night the hamburger place offered a free soda if you bought two hamburgers. Jessica looked at the rest of the menu that was hanging on the wall above the counter where you ordered and paid for the food. She didn’t feel like eating, but maybe she should, just to have something to do while Hyoyeon was eating.

“What do you want?” Jessica asked her friend.

“Something with cheese! And bacon, can you get that? Without onions. I hate onions!” Hyoyeon said.

Jessica nodded her head. She figured she had to pay for her friend’s food, as she had no idea where Hyoyeon’s wallet was, and she didn’t feel like searching for it either. She decided for what she was going to go with, and began getting ready to make the order.

“Can you – “ She turned towards Hyoyeon to tell the girl to get them a place to sit, but stopped mid-sentence as her eyes fell on a familiar girl, a familiar girl she hadn’t seen in a few days, a girl she hadn’t expected to see this night.

“Jessica?” Taeyeon asked. The brunette girl was holding a paper cup, probably on her way to refill it. Taeyeon looked surprised, with a small blush on the girl’s cheeks. Jessica was also surprised, and she momentarily forgot about Hyoyeon, and what state Hyoyeon was in.

“Hey! It’s that girl you’re ing!” Hyoyeon exclaimed louder than necessarily.

Jessica wanted to shove Taeyeon’s paper cup down Hyoyeon’s throat. But that would make the situation worse, and the blonde figured, by how Taeyeon tightened the grip around the cup, that the girl might need the cup more than she did.

“She’s drunk.” Jessica said in an attempt of explaining Hyoyeon’s inappropriate exclamation.

“I figured.” Taeyeon said. The girl’s face had turned bright red, and she didn’t seem to be able to look at Jessica. It kind of irritated Jessica, because it was no need for the girl to be that shy, because they hadn’t done it. They hadn’t even been in front of each other. So nothing of what Hyoyeon had said was true.

A short haired blonde girl appeared by Taeyeon’s side. Jessica felt like the girl was familiar, like she had seen the girl, or met the girl before, but she couldn’t remember from where.

“This is Jessica.” Taeyeon said to the girl and pointed at her. The girl’s eyebrows rose, and she turned towards Jessica, a small smile on her face.

“Hi, I’m Sunny.” The girl introduced herself.

“Hi, I’m Jessica. This is Hyoyeon.” Jessica said and nodded towards her drunk friend.

“Sica, I think Taeyeon has a blonde girl .” Jessica heard Hyoyeon slurred by her side. The girl was attempting to whisper it in her ear, but because of all the alcohol she had consumed, she didn’t seem to realize she was speaking with a normal tone of voice, making the two girls close to them hear every word she said.

“She’s drunk.” Jessica repeated.

“It’s quite noticeable.” Sunny said.

“Are you going to eat?” Sunny asked, and looked from Jessica to Taeyeon, and then back at Jessica. Jessica looked at Taeyeon that looked at her, and then back to Hyoyeon who was the reason why she had come here in the first place.

“Yeah.” Jessica answered, and turned back to Taeyeon and her friend.

“Why don’t you sit with us?” Sunny asked, but the minute the girl asked the question she averted her gaze to Hyoyeon, like she wondered if it was a good idea letting the girl sit by their table.

Jessica turned to Taeyeon, the brunette girl met her gaze, and for some reason Jessica wanted to eat with the girl, but with Taeyeon alone. Without Hyoyeon, without the Sunny girl, without anyone that could get in between them.

“Sure.” Jessica said and shrugged her shoulders. At least she had a place to sit now.

“Are you going to order?” Taeyeon asked.

“Yeah, I am.” Jessica said, she glanced at Hyoyeon like the girl was a bother and it was because of her that she hadn’t been able to order.

“I can bring Hyoyeon to our table, and you can have Taeyeon helping you carry the things.” Sunny suggested. Both Jessica and Taeyeon snapped their heads towards the girl.

“Taeyeon has to pay for our refills anyway.” Sunny said, and held out her own paper cup towards the brunette girl. “You know what I drink.” The short haired blonde said.

Without listening to any word of protest, the short haired blonde grabbed Hyoyeon and led her to her and Taeyeon’s table. Jessica and Taeyeon watched stupefied as Sunny and Hyoyeon left them alone.

Jessica turned to the brunette girl that was still watching as her friend led Hyoyeon away. The blonde girl turned away from her, and turned back to the menu on the wall. Her shoulders slump, and she held on to the wallet she was holding in her hand tighter.

She felt a presence beside her, and she noticed Taeyeon had stopped by her side. A smile found itself to her lips and she turned to the brunette.

“What did you do during Christmas?” Jessica asked to strike up a conversation. They hadn’t talked much since the day Jessica had surprised Taeyeon by being in the girl’s home. She had only heard the girl had been working, but she doubt that it was all the girl had been occupying herself with these days.

“I was at Sunny’s place.” Taeyeon replied.

“Oh,” Jessica muttered out. She shifted in her stance, her eyebrows knotted together as a feeling of jealousy slowly started to grow inside of her. She clenched her hands, and tried to ignore the feeling. She had no reason to feel jealous. There was no reason for her to feel anything at all.

It became her turn to order, and she ordered a cheese burger for Hyoyeon and something for her to drink. She didn’t feel like eating, she felt bothered. Something was bugging her, and she couldn’t figure out what.

Or she didn’t want to figure out what it is, as she was afraid what she would realize.

She got her order, and Taeyeon paid for the refills for her and Sunny’s drinks, and the two girls made their way to the table Hyoyeon and Sunny were seated at.

Hyoyeon was talking about an actor from some movie she had recently watched, and Sunny was nodding her head to what the girl was saying, even though Jessica figured that Sunny had no idea what Hyoyeon was actually talking about.

“Hamburger!” Hyoyeon exclaimed when Jessica and Taeyeon reached the table. Jessica didn’t say anything and handed the hamburger to the girl. Hyoyeon quickly unwrapped the burger and buried her teeth into it. When the girl’s mouth was filled with food she stopped talking and the three sober girls by the table got time for the thoughts in their head.

Jessica sipped on her soda as she looked at Taeyeon that happened to sit opposite her. The girl was munching on fries, her eyes focused on a spot on the table. Jessica averted her gaze to the short haired blonde next to Taeyeon, only to get surprised when she noticed Sunny was looking at her. Sunny gave her a nod, before the girl turned her focus to her cellphone.

Jessica felt her cheeks heat up. She didn’t know why, if it was because she had been caught looking at Taeyeon, or if it had been because of the alcohol she had consumed earlier. She blamed it on the alcohol, even though it had been a very little amount she had been drinking.

“Jessica.” Jessica snapped out of her thoughts when she heard her name. She looked at Sunny that had been the one saying it, she saw the girl nodding towards Hyoyeon, and Jessica turned towards her friend, only to find out Hyoyeon had fallen asleep.

A sigh left her lips and she turned back to the two girls.

“I’m gonna get her home.” Jessica said and stood up from her seat.

“Do you need help?” Taeyeon asked.

Jessica hesitated in her answer, she looked from the brunette girl to the girl’s friend. A faked smile formed on Jessica’s lips and she turned back to Taeyeon.

“No need. I can handle it on my own.” Jessica assured the girl and turned back to Hyoyeon.

“Are you sure? We can call a cab for you.” Sunny said.

“No need.” Jessica said more firmer this time. She turned to Sunny, that didn’t seem to have faltered by the tone in her voice. The girl only raised her eyebrow, but Jessica ignored it and put her focus on getting Hyoyeon up.

She managed to make Hyoyeon stand. And with the girl’s arm wrapped around her shoulders, and her arm wrapped around Hyoyeon’s waist, she turned to the remaining girls by the table.

“Thanks.” Jessica said even though she wasn’t quite sure what she was thanking them for. She felt her gaze landed on Taeyeon again, the brunette looked at her with concern in her eyes, and Jessica felt she couldn’t handle that look, and so she turned away.

“I’ll see you some day.” Jessica said before she began leading Hyoyeon out of the restaurant. She didn’t stay to listen to the two girls goodbyes, she focused on getting out and away from them.

---

To Jessica’s relief the chilly night air seemed to awaken Hyoyeon, and the girl could walk without needing Jessica to drag her around. But to Jessica’s dismay, the chilly air also had awoken Hyoyeon’s talk activity.

“You’re jealous.” Hyoyeon pointed out.

Jessica frowned. She didn’t look at the other blonde and continued to stare at the pavement as they walked home.

“Your silence only confirms it.” The girl continued.

“I’m not.” Jessica barked.

“You are. You’re jealous that Taeyeon is hanging out with another girl that isn’t you. Do you think they’ve ed?” Hyoyeon asked.

“They haven’t.” Jessica said through gritted teeth.

“Are you sure?”

“I am.”

“They’re only friends?”

“They’re only friends.”

Hyoyeon stopped in her tracks and turned towards Jessica. Jessica looked back at the girl, the girl was smirking, and Jessica didn’t like the look. It meant something, it meant that Hyoyeon was going to say something that would piss her off, and it would usually piss her off because it was most of the time true.

“You should know that only friends too.” Hyoyeon said.

Jessica knew something like that would come, but it didn’t make her feel any better. If Hyoyeon had said it with more sympathy then she might have felt less angry, but the girl didn’t look any empathic at all, and that made her even angrier.

Jessica didn’t say anything, she only turned away from the girl and continued to walk. Hyoyeon was right that Jessica should know that, if she hadn’t known that she wouldn’t be where she was today.

If she hadn’t known that, she wouldn’t have tried getting close to Taeyeon at all.