The fingers on her left hand pressed down on the strings on the guitar, the thumb of the other hand strummed the strings, and her ears strained to hear if the sound was right. Satisfied with it she moved her fingers to another position and strummed the strings again and listened to the different sound the guitar made.

She nodded her head up and down like she was satisfied with the sound. Her fingers shifted position again and she strummed a bit faster this time and kept shifting them between the three different positions she had been holding them in.

Her head bopped to the rhythm of the melody. Her body relaxed and her mind drifted off to another world where she forget about all the other things she should be thinking about.

An abrupt knock on the door to the room she was inside made Taeyeon stop playing and looked up a bit startled from the guitar. The door opened and in came Narsha that looked a bit frantic.

“I’m sorry! I overslept and missed the bus.” The girl apologized as she took a seat opposite where she was sitting.

Taeyeon frowned and let her gaze fall to the note paper beside her on the table. Narsha didn’t seem to notice her change of mood and focused on fixing her appearance that seemed more important at this moment.

“You didn’t show up.” Taeyeon mumbled after a moment of silence.

“What?” Narsha that didn’t seemed to have heard her turned towards the girl with the guitar. A sigh escaped Taeyeon’s lips and she closed her eyes.

“We were supposed to perform together, but you didn’t show up.” Taeyeon said a bit louder this time to make sure Narsha heard it.

“Oh…” She turned towards the other girl and saw that Narsha looked surprised. She frowned at the expression she was shown and turned her head back to the music sheet instead.

“I got sick that night.” Narsha said.

Taeyeon’s frown faded and she kept holding the other girl’s gaze. She blinked and felt her shoulders relax and her eyebrows knotted together.

“What kind of sick?” Taeyeon asked. A small smile appeared on Narsha’s lips and the girl titled her head to the side.

“Why? Are you concerned about me?” She asked as the smile on her lips grew. The frown on Taeyeon’s lips appeared again and she looked away from Narsha’s gaze, her eyes falling on the table surface instead.

“Of course, why shouldn’t I be concerned?” Taeyeon asked.

The room was filled with laughter from Narsha. The sound made Taeyeon look towards her in confusion, not understanding her reaction to what she had asked.

“Oh…Taeyeon…you’re so adorable.” Narsha said.

Taeyeon frowned and looked down on the guitar in her lap instead; her fingers strummed the strings absentmindedly.

“I’m not adorable.” Taeyeon mumbled.

“Denying it just makes you more adorable.” Narsha stated.

Taeyeon continued to frown and strummed the strings on the guitar. She decided it was better to be quiet.

“Is this the new song we’re going to learn?” Narsha suddenly asked and picked up the sheet of music Taeyeon had in front of her.

“Yeah, it’s the song we’re going to perform for the Christmas show.” Taeyeon said.

“O holy night?” Narsha’s eyes widened and she turned to the girl with the guitar.

“Yeah, the music teacher picked it out.” Taeyeon said and shifted in her seat. “Why? You don’t think you can sing it?”

“No, it’s not that. But can you play it on guitar?” Narsha asked and nodded towards the instrument on Taeyeon’s lap.

Taeyeon frowned and tightened her grip on the guitar.

“I just have to try.” Taeyeon said.

“Okay then. Let’s get started then.” Narsha said and lowered the music sheet and turned to Taeyeon. The latter looked up at the girl opposite her, she nodded her head and let her eyes fall down to the instrument on her lap.

She let her fingers strum the strings one time, testing the sound even though she knew she had already tuned it. Her eyes went up to Narsha again, she gave the girl a nod and she began playing the first notes to the song, only lowering her gaze from the other girl when she heard Narsha began singing along to the melody she was playing.

---

A sigh left the girl’s lips the moment the pencil fell from her hand. She stretched her arms above her head before she let them fall down to her sides again. Her eyes landed on the books and notebooks in front of her, another sigh left her lips by the sight of it all and she closed her tired eyes.

“There you are!” A happy voice made Taeyeon turn away from her school work and she found herself looking at a blonde girl with a sandwich in her hand. She blinked surprised and let her gaze fall down to the food Jessica was holding in her hand before she let her gaze go back up to the blonde.

“You were looking for me?” Taeyeon asked and watched as Jessica took a seat opposite her at the table.

“Yeah. Tiffany told me you were using the lunch break to study.” Jessica said and placed the sandwich on the math book that was lying at the top of the pile of books on the table. “I bought you a sandwich, I thought you would need it.” The blonde said and smiled.

Taeyeon felt her lips form a smile. A warm feeling was filling her chest making her smile widen.

“Thank you.” Taeyeon said and met Jessica’s gaze.

“Nothing to thank me for, Kim Taeyeon.” Jessica assured with a grin.

Taeyeon said nothing and grabbed the sandwich Jessica had bought. She unwrapped it from the plastic foil around it, and slowly brought it to and took a bite of it. She noticed Jessica was still looking at her, and she felt herself blush under the blonde’s gaze, and so turned away and focused her eyes on the boring text of the books.

“How come you’re studying now?” Jessica asked and broke the seconds of silence that had been between them.

Taeyeon looked up at the girl again. She finished chewing the food in before she responded: “Because I don’t have time to study at home anymore.” She said and took another bite of the sandwich.

“Oh, why not?” Jessica asked and placed her chin in her palm as her eyes continued to look at Taeyeon.

“Because I have to practice my guitar playing.” Taeyeon replied.

“Did you get something else to practice from the teacher?” Jessica asked.

Taeyeon let her eyes lower to the books in front of her. Her lips formed a line and she slowly looked up at Jessica again, meeting the blonde’s gaze for a few seconds before she averted it elsewhere.

“Yes and no.” Taeyeon said and shifted the sandwich nervously in her hand.

“Yes and no? What kind of answer is that?” Jessica said, amusement lacing her voice.

“Yes, the teacher gave me a song to practice. But it’s not why I need to focus more on practicing the guitar playing.” Taeyeon said and looked up at met Jessica’s gaze. The blonde had her head tilted to the side, her expression looking expectantly at her like she waited for her to spill whatever it was she hadn’t told her yet.

Taeyeon looked down at her books again. A sigh left her lips before she closed them and she bit down on her lower lip. She contemplated whether she should tell Jessica about her job or not. She released her lip and she looked up at the blonde, who now burst out in a small laugh when their gazes met, making a confused expression appear on the brunette’s face.

“You know, Taeyeon, you spend too much time in that head of yours.” Jessica said after she had stopped laughing.

“Huh?” Taeyeon blinked confused, not understanding what Jessica meant with her statement. The blonde giggled and shook her head at her confused face.

“You think too much. You need to go with the flow more often. Just spill whatever’s on your mind.” Jessica said and leaned back in her seat.

Taeyeon stared at Jessica for a few seconds. She blinked a few times before she let her gaze lower from the blonde girl’s brown orbs down to the nose she vaguely remember having brushed against once when they had kissed, which lead her to lower her gaze down to the pink lips she could clearly remember the raspberry taste of.

“Let me guess: raspberries. That’s what’s on your mind right now.” Jessica said and interrupted the brunette’s train of thoughts.

Jessica’s voice made Taeyeon quickly avert her gaze away from the pink lips. She felt her cheeks heat up and she had to look away from the blonde girl when she noticed Jessica smiling at her.

Jessica’s giggles filled her ears, and she felt herself blush even more. She tried focusing on the text of the books in front of her, knowing full well that some boring letters wouldn’t make her feel like her cheeks were burning up.

The sound of a chair dragging across the floor made her look up at the blonde girl again. Before she had the time to react Jessica was standing beside her, the hand holding the sandwich had a hand around the wrist, keeping it in place, another hand was placed at the side of her face, slender fingers tracing her jawline, and a pair of soft lips covering hers.

Her eyes closed, savoring the feeling of Jessica’s lips against hers. She pressed more into the kiss, only to have Jessica pull away from her, settling a feeling of disappointment in her.

“Hey,” Jessica spoke holding her gaze with hers. “You can come to my place today after school.” Jessica offered.

Taeyeon almost blurted out an ‘okay’ right away, but she managed to stop herself before she had uttered any words. She could see Jessica saw her hesitation and it made her look apologetically at the blonde.

“Sorry, I already have plans after school.” Taeyeon explained.

Jessica leaned further away from her while she studied her face. The hand that had been feeling her jawline was lowered from her face, and Taeyeon felt coldness wash over her when all physical contact with Jessica had been broken.

“You do?” Jessica asked.

“Yeah, I’m going to meet my little sister.” Taeyeon explained.

“Ah…little sister.” Jessica said a small smile appearing on the blonde’s lips.

Taeyeon continued to watch Jessica as she put an even further distance between them. She thought she had seen disappointment on Jessica’s face, but it had been so briefly she wasn’t sure she had seen right.

“I guess it can’t be helped.” Jessica said and shrugged her shoulders.

Taeyeon nodded her head and watched as Jessica made her way back to her seat opposite her instead. Their gazes met when Jessica had taken a seat, the latter smiled at her, and Taeyeon managed to form some kind of smile to return to the blonde.

“We can be at my place some other time.” Jessica assured.

“Yeah…some other time.” Taeyeon said and nodded her head. Her eyebrows furrowed as she felt disappointment fill her again. Her teeth bit down on her lower lip and she stared in front of her as she tried figure out when that some other time would be.

“There you go again, locking yourself inside your head.” Jessica said and interrupted her thoughts. She looked up at the blonde, blinking as she tried to keep up with what Jessica had meant. The blonde laughed at her and lightly shook her head.

“Don’t worry. I’ll leave you to your books and mind. I’ll see you some other time, Kim Taeyeon.” Jessica said and stood up from her seat.

Taeyeon felt her jaw made a movement to open , but nothing seemed to happen, and the words she wanted to say didn’t seem to escape her lips. She watched as Jessica left her, and the feeling of disappointment filled her again.

Her shoulders slump, and her gaze was lowered to the sandwich still in her hand. Her lips formed a line and she let her gaze go back up to the empty seat in front of her. A sigh escaped her lips and she slowly brought the sandwich to her lips.

opened and took a bite of the sandwich. She slowly chewed and her mind wandered to pink, raspberry tasting lips, making a small smile appear on her own lips as she thought of how soft the lips felt.

---

She drummed her fingers against the table surface anxiously as she stared outside the window of the café she was at. Her eyes kept looking at all the people that passed by the small coffee shop, everyone was on their way home or on their way to activities after school or work.

“Unnie.” Taeyeon snapped her head towards the girl that had spoken. Seeing her little sister standing by the table she was sitting at a smile formed on her lips and she motioned for the younger girl to take a seat opposite from her.

Sulli did as she was told, her eyes landing on the cup that stood in front of her. Her eyes left the cup, her gaze meeting with Taeyeon’s.

“I bought you hot chocolate.” Taeyeon said and nodded towards the cup.

“Unnie, you didn’t have to. I don’t want you to treat me if you’re short on money.” The younger girl said and looked at the cup.

“It’s no problem, besides, I have a job now.” Taeyeon assured and let her hands cup the cup of coffee in front of her.

“You do?!” Sulli looked wide eyed at her. Taeyeon smiled at the surprise registered at Sulli’s face. She nodded her head, but Sulli continued to look surprised at her.

“I told you I’d get a job and get the money you need to go to the boarding school.” Taeyeon said and let her eyes fall down to the cup.

“I kinda feel bad about that now…” Sulli mumbled.

Taeyeon looked up at her younger sister. The younger girl was staring at the cup in front of her, absentmindedly tracing the porcelain with the tip of her fingers. Taeyeon frowned and leaned back in her seat, not leaving the girl’s form with her eyes.

“But I wanna do it. I don’t want you to be stuck here if you wanna get away.” Taeyeon said.

“What about you then?” Sulli said and looked up.

The question was kind of sudden, and Taeyeon had no answer for her, or she had, but it wasn’t anything she wanted to admit to yet, or tell her little sister about. She gulped and let her gaze lower to the cup, her mind making images of blonde hair, rosy lips and the taste of raspberry appear in her head.

She had something she wanted to stay for. But nothing she wanted to put her hopes in, but one day she wanted to. A small sigh escaped her lips and she looked up at the younger girl that still waited for her to say something.

“Someone has to take care of mom.” Taeyeon finally answered. Sulli’s shoulders slump at the answer and her lips formed a frown.

“Leave her to Kangin and Heechul oppa.” Sulli said.

Taeyeon frowned at the statement. She looked down at the cup in front of her, her hands had tightened their hold on it, making her feel more of the warmth the cup radiated. She sighed, and loosened her hold on it.

“They’re not trust worthy.” Taeyeon mumbled.

“Maybe not. But mom is also an adult, unnie.” Sulli pointed out. She looked up at the younger girl, their gazes met, and Sulli looked at her with a serious look she never had seen in her younger sister before. “Mom has put herself in this situation herself. And you shouldn’t feel the need to take care of her. You should also get the chance to have a happy life.” Sulli added.

Taeyeon kept looking at the younger girl in silence, too surprised to say anything. She realized that Sulli no longer was the young girl that usually followed her and her friends around. The young girl had been through things, and had matured from them. So that the girl would say these things to her shouldn’t be that surprising.

The older of the two girls sighed. Taeyeon let her gaze go back to her hands that still were holding the cup.

“One day, maybe, I’ll take the chance to become happy.” She mumbled. She glanced at the younger girl, seeing Sulli’s disapproving expression she added: “But I have to take care of some things before I can.”

Sulli looked defeated, but she nodded her head, not like she agreed, or that she understood, just that she acknowledged what she had said.

“You shouldn’t carry that burden on your own, unnie.” The younger girl said.

A bitter smile appeared on Taeyeon’s lips and she turned her head and looked outside the window, watching all the people that passed by.

But I don’t want to share it with anyone. She thought as she watched all the people go by.