The blonde girl let out a sigh and leaned back in her seat. Her gaze left the other people in the café as her eyes went out the window. People were walking up and down the street, all busy on this Saturday afternoon.

“Here you go, unnie.” A voice and something being placed in front of her made Jessica turn her gaze forward. Her sister had taken the seat opposite her, and a cup of what she had ordered had been placed in front of her.

“Thanks.” Jessica said and grabbed the cup and brought the hot beverage to . She pulled the cup back when she realized it was too hot to drink, and she placed the cup back on the table but let the heated up porcelain keep her hands warm.

“I didn’t think you’d visit.” Soojung said and took a sip of her cup.

“I had nothing planned.” Jessica said and shrugged her shoulders.

“Mhmm.” Soojung let out a hum. Jessica let her gaze go down to the cup, her thumbs against the white porcelain as her thoughts wandered to the real reason as to why she was here.

She had wanted to visit her sister, but then she probably wouldn’t have done it if she hadn’t wanted to have a reason to not hang out with Taeyeon. So technically, she used this as an opportunity to get away from home, so she didn’t have to come up with something else as an excuse to not hang out with the girl.

Jessica also trusted her sister to keep her so busy that she wouldn’t even think about the girl. Which she also needed. Her head needed rest from all the Taeyeon matters.

“When will you go to England?” Soojung suddenly asked.

“If I get accepted, in August.” Jessica answered.

Soojung nodded her head. Jessica looked up and met her sister’s gaze, and to her fear, she saw that Soojung had that thoughtful expression that usually meant the girl would soon ask a bunch of questions that required Jessica to open up, because if Jessica lied about her answers, Soojung would see it and the girl would get hurt. And the last thing Jessica wanted was to hurt her little sister.

“What?” Jessica asked when the younger girl still hadn’t asked or said anything.

“Why England? You know there are good universities here.” Soojung said.

“I know.” Jessica said. She bit her lip as she thought of how to answer the question. How much of the truth should she say, was there a way to answer it in a way that would be truthfully, but still wouldn’t give away the whole reason?

“I just need a change of environment.” Jessica said. She looked her sister in the eyes, and without saying anything, Soojung had shown that she knew Jessica wasn’t telling the whole truth. “And I think if I get away from here I can finally start anew, be with people who don’t know me and stuff. I can finally leave things behind.” Jessica added when she figured there was no way for her to answer with half of the truth.

“I thought you already had done that.” Soojung said and sipped on her cup.

Jessica clenched her teeth. She had already walked away from one part of her past that Soojung knew about, but somehow Jessica had managed to get herself deep into something else that she wants to get away from, something she hadn’t told the younger girl about yet.

“Well…let’s just say that I got my new start, but I somehow ed it up.” Jessica said and brought the cup up to her lips. She sipped the hot coffee, and ignored that it burned on her lips and tongue. She could live with that pain.

“In what way?” Soojung looked shocked. And Jessica understood the girl, she hadn’t let the girl in on what was going on in her life, she just didn’t want Soojung involved, not that she thought it was possible for the girl to get involved.

“Well…unnie hasn’t been honest with a person she should have been honest with.” Jessica said. She bit her lip and looked at her little sister. Soojung said nothing, just raised an eyebrow and waited for Jessica to go on.

“I thought that it wouldn’t matter if I was honest or not with this person, but now it kind of do matter…” Jessica said. “I’m just afraid that it has gone too long, and if I’m honest now I’ll hurt this person more than I want to.” Jessica said.

Silence filled the table. Jessica dared to look up at her sister. Soojung didn’t look judgmental, the girl only looked thoughtful. Jessica watched as her little sister sipped her hot chocolate in silence, and she hoped that when Soojung was done analyzing what she had said the girl would say something.

“You care a lot about this person.” Soojung stated.

Jessica felt the urge to protest, but she figured it was no use, her sister had already seen through her cover, and even if she denied it the younger girl would still know the truth. By being silence Jessica could spare her sister some time trying to figure out why she would deny something so obvious.

Jessica meekly nodded her head in answer. And by admitting to Soojung that she cared, she finally realized how much she cared Taeyeon. More than she had ever cared about anyone else.  And she wondered why. Why had the brunette been able to strike a chord inside of her? How had the girl been able to get inside of her?  As far as Jessica knew, Taeyeon hadn’t even tried doing it. For all she knew, she is the one that had tried to get Taeyeon to care about her.

“I’d say if you care about the person you should be honest and deal with the consequences.” Soojung stated in such a way that Jessica wondered who of them were the older sister. The younger girl slowly sipped on her chocolate, and when she lowered the cup from and revealed her chocolate mustache Jessica inwardly smiled.

Her younger sister with the wisdom of a grandmother. She wouldn’t be able to go through life without Soojung to talk to about anything. She wished she had talked to Soojung about more concerns in her life, if she had she could probably had saved herself from a lot of mistakes and a lot of hurt. But it was too late to be regretful of that now.

“Have you told this person that you’re thinking of studying overseas?” Soojung asked and made Jessica snap out of her thoughts.

Jessica felt as if cold water had been poured over her. She honestly hadn’t thought of telling Taeyeon about her plans of the future, and she figured by doing so she would disappoint the girl even more.

When she thought about it, all she will ever do for the girl is letting her down. She kind of wished she hadn’t gotten close to the girl, just to save Taeyeon the hurt and disappointment.  

“Then you have something else to tell this person.” Soojung said and finished her hot chocolate.

Jessica stared at the younger girl. She couldn’t blame Soojung for just being honest, the girl had a point. She should be honest, and if she had been honest from the start she wouldn’t be in this position. The only one she could blame for being in this position is herself.

And even though Jessica didn’t like the self-blame game, she blamed herself a lot. She regretted her actions, and she could see how things could have turned out differently if she had let things with people pass and she had moved on in a different direction.

But no, she had to get her revenge. She had been so blinded by her anger towards Narsha that she hadn’t cared about who she had dragged into the mess. An innocent person that had her own problems to deal with that didn’t deserve any of what Jessica would make the person go through.

Jessica felt like she had swum into water that was too deep for her, and Taeyeon had jumped in to save her, and now Jessica was making both of them drown.

Jessica’s only hope was that she would drown before Taeyeon does. If she did the girl might be able to at least save herself.