The first few days for Tiffany and Yuri both knowing what they truly feel for each other was filled with awkward silences and even more awkward conversations.

When they got home after that short yet interesting stroll around the campus, both of them didn’t know how to act and what to say. The idea of both of them feeling the same way for each other still felt foreign. Both of them are quite happy but at the same time, they felt like they were betraying Sooyoung.

Technically, they aren’t really doing anything behind Sooyoung’s back and even if they were, it wasn’t like they were cheating. It’s not called cheating when the person is out of the relationship, is it? They just felt like being happy while knowing that Sooyoung was still suffering because of the break-up would be inconsiderate.

Needless to say, even without all this issue about Sooyoung and the break-up, they would still be awkward. If they had known that they’d both end up falling for each other, they wouldn’t have done and said some nasty things to the other in the past.

They felt weird that the other person was acting too nice towards them. Both of them didn’t know if it’s appropriate to laugh and taunt each other for acting so different. It took Tiffany a couple of days before having the guts to make fun of how Yuri was acting towards her.

“You really are in love with me, huh, Yul? You’re being too nice, cleaning my stuff and cooking for me,” she said as she poked the tanned girl’s nose. “I wonder if you’ll still be mad at me if I call you ManYul or if you’ll just let it slide.”

Yuri whined a little when she heard her not-so-flattering nickname once again.

Tiffany giggled and pinched her cheeks. “You are just so cute.”

“My life would be less complicated if I just fell for Krystal instead of you.”

Yuri didn’t mean it and only felt like saying it for she thought Tiffany wouldn’t take it seriously. After all, they were just tossing jokes at each other, right?

The sadness in Tiffany’s eyes was apparent and Yuri didn’t fail to notice it.

“Hey, I was just kidding.” She held Tiffany’s hand but quickly let go. It still felt like she was being an opportunist.

“Stupid.”

The awkwardness lessened as each day passed although they still didn’t know what will happen to them. They were very cautious of their actions even when Sooyoung wasn’t there.

Yuri personally didn’t know how Sooyoung would react once she finds out that Tiffany, her ex, and Yuri, one of her close friends in school, are in love with each other. She was sure that it would somehow affect her friendship with the tall girl though, especially after their conversation a few days ago when the latter’s roommate called for help.

Seohyun’s class ended early and she arrived home only to be welcomed by Sooyoung’s tear-stained face. She was lying on the floor beside their couch and she looked like she passed out. She called Hyoyeon but she was in a class and couldn’t come because of an important exam so she tried reaching Yuri.

The tanned girl excused herself from a minor class and made her way home as fast as she could. She helped Seohyun carry the thin girl and lay her on the couch.

They cleaned up the mess that Sooyoung created in their living room and Yuri also cooked a meal just in case Sooyoung gets hungry when she wakes up.

She woke up in about an hour and immediately looked for food. Seohyun and Yuri looked at her while she’s devouring the meal that Yuri has prepared for her.

A few minutes later, she started crying again. “I’m sorry. I just can stop imagining her dating someone else. The thought of her getting hugs and kisses from another person just hurts me a lot.”

Seohyun her back while Yuri tried to wipe her tears away.

“I’m kind of glad that you don’t like her, Yuri-ah. Remember that time when you told me that you’ll never fall head over heels for her? I felt really relieved knowing that. I don’t think I can bear seeing her dating a friend of mine. Not even Hyo.”

Yuri gulped while Seohyun glanced at her, perfectly aware that Yuri indeed has fallen for the eye-smile girl.

If only she could tell Sooyoung right then and there that her feelings for Tiffany has changed…drastically. Even if she could, she probably wouldn’t. She knew that it wasn’t what Sooyoung needed right now.

Tiffany and Yuri didn’t need to talk about the matter. They both know what to do and that was to be wary of their actions when Sooyoung is with them. They also agreed not to let anyone else know. For now, whatever it is that they have should be kept under wraps.


---


It’s been three weeks since I found out that Yuri was in love with me. So far, it’s been good. That is if you define awkward as ‘good’ but we’ve had our fair share of cheesy moments.

Just yesterday, she came home with a long-stemmed rose carefully tucked inside her jacket. She just handed it to me, no words spoken, and she retreated inside our bathroom.

I knocked on the bathroom door a few times hoping she’d open it so I could at least thank her but she didn’t. That idiot. I had no choice but to say thank you while she’s locked up inside our bathroom.

She eventually came out covering her cheeks with both hands. I couldn’t help but kiss her forehead. She’s just too damn adorable. The more I get to see this cute yet shy side of her, the more I think that I really have fallen in love with her but I wanted to be sure. I guess I’m being more cautious now because of what I did to Soo.

Kwon Yuri who hasn’t done any of these things for other people before was doing it for me. It felt nice and it made me smile.

Too bad I can’t even let my sister know about this. I’m not used to not sharing stuff that happens to me all the time. She’s like my personal form of Twitter. I could tell her everything and she’d only let other people know about it if I allow her to.

I was waiting for her in front of the ticket booth since we both agreed on watching a movie this weekend. We both told everyone that we had plans with other people so they won’t tag along. I wouldn’t call this a date though. It’s just us hanging out like that one time when we watched Thor.

“Fany-ah.”

I turned around and there she was, wearing jeans and a pink shirt. Yesterday, she was wearing a pink shirt too and the day before that and the day before. It’s been a week. I swear it’s like she’s doing this to please me. She really didn’t have to do that though.

“Why are you wearing a pink shirt again, Yul?”

She scratched the back of her head and smiled. “Just because.”

“I thought I’d let you know that you’re adorable like this. You’re like a freaking teenage boy who’s had his first crush.”

She pouted and said, “You’re not going to tease me about looking like a dude again, are you?”

“No, dummy. I was only talking about how you’re acting like a little boy not looking like a dude.” I held her hand but she pulled away.

“S-sorry.” She slowly reached for my hand but I decided to walk away.

“Fany-ah,” she called but I ignored it and walked straight ahead, pretending that my pride was really trampled on.

“Fany-ah, I’m sorry.” I can sense the desperation in her voice. Kwon Yuri who wasn’t afraid to run when we first met has gone soft. Too soft.

I turned around and she almost bumped into me. “Why are you being such a softie?” I cupped her cheek. “I don’t want you to be too vulnerable because of me. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

She just smirked at me and said, “Aren’t you flattering yourself too much?”

“You guys just need to stop falling head over heels for me. I know I’m pretty and smart and nice and all but I don’t want to break more hearts.”

That one earned me a knuckle on my forehead. I laughed it off and pushed her lightly.

“Even if you put a warning sign I don’t think I could have ever stopped myself falling for you.”

Rely on Yuri to make everything awkward. I have to admit though that it was pretty sweet and the blush creeping up on my face seemed to agree.

I held her hand again and we both went to the booth to purchase our tickets. Our hands never separated during the whole film and even when we got out.

“Kwon?” I called.

“Yeah?” she answered without looking at me.

“Can I get my hand back?” I didn’t really want her to stop holding my hands, I was just testing if she’d really let go.

She glanced at our hand before looking at me and replying with one word. “No.”

I smiled and gave her hand a tight squeeze.

I felt happy. Maybe I really am in love with you, Kwon Yuri.


---


I’m still walking around the mall. Tiffany has already left. We agreed that one of us has to go home earlier than the other so the others won’t be suspicious. It felt like we were sneaking out and doing something bad behind our friends’ backs.

I tried hard not to think about Soo though. Just for today, I didn’t want to feel like I’m backstabbing her. I wanted to enjoy my day with Fany. I know I’m being insensitive but what else was I supposed to do?

I looked down and tried not to step on the lines while walking.

One, Two. 

I looked back to the things we did today. It felt great to finally be with her.

Three, Four.

We held hands.

Five, Six.

She told me she was happy. We both were.

We’re taking our time. We didn’t need to hurry. Just nice and steady.

One step at a time. Baby steps.


---


I woke up, my nose was aching, eyes were swelling and there’s still this indescribable pain in my chest. I stood up wobbling with every step that I take and made my way to our bathroom.

I looked at myself in the mirror and I finally saw how pitiful I looked. Why am I even doing this to myself? I’m pathetic.

I washed my face to get rid of whatever gunk that was on it.

I opened my laptop only to see my desktop filled with Tiffany-related photos and files. Even the damn wallpaper is her. Tears started to well up at the corner of my eyes again, I wiped it away immediately.

Right click. Personalize. I started browsing for another background but all I could see from my library are photos of me and Tiffany. I randomly clicked a preloaded desktop background and opened my ‘Library.’

I needed to erase these photos. I right clicked on a folder and clicked ‘Delete’ which made another window pop up.

Are you sure you want to delete this folder permanently?

Not even a “Are you sure you want to move this folder to the Recycle Bin?” It took me ten minutes and every ounce of my will power to click ‘Yes.’

One, Two.

One folder deleted.

Three, Four.

Another one.

Five, Six.

I remembered what Seohyun told me.

Baby steps, unnie. You don’t need to force yourself to immediately get over it.

That’s what I’ll do. 

I’ve made my decision. I’m going to take baby steps if that’s the only way to get over her.


---


Taeyeon sat on the couch waiting for Jessica to come back from her meeting with her group mates. She wanted to tag along but Jessica didn’t let her saying she would just get bored there.

She’s dozed off twice but Jessica still hasn’t arrived.

Just as she was about to doze off for the third time, she heard the front door getting shut.

She sat up and grinned when she saw that it was indeed Jessica. “Sica-yah.”

Jessica walked towards her, plopped herself down on Taeyeon’s lap and hugged the tiny girl.

Taeyeon her girlfriend’s back and said, “Sica, please don’t kill me but dirty thoughts are running through my head right now.”

She felt a light punch on her shoulder but the blonde didn’t say anything and didn’t move from her current position.

“I’m kidding…sort of. Are you hungry? How did it go?”

“I’m tired. I’ve already eaten. Jae bought us food.”

That name again. She really hated it.

“I really think that guy’s into you.”

Jessica was in no mood to tell Taeyeon that she doesn’t give a crap if the guy has a thing for her. She was definitely not in the mood to reassure her that even though her hunch about Jae is correct, it wouldn’t change what she feels for the older girl.

She tried to stay awake and got off Taeyeon only to be pulled back by the latter. “Where are you going?”

“I don’t want to talk about Jaebeom, Taeng. I just want to sleep.”

Taeyeon got up as well and followed her girlfriend to their room. “I’m sorry. I just feel jealous, that’s all.”

Jessica took her coat off and tossed it in the hamper. “There’s no need to be jealous. Haven’t I told you that before?”

“You have. I’m sorry,” she said with her head hung low.

“Just trust me please.” She held Taeyeon’s hands and led her towards the bed. “I want to sleep and I want you to hug me and sing to me so I can sleep better.”

They both lay in bed as Taeyeon sang Jessica to sleep.

She trusts Jessica. It’s that girly voice that she has a problem with.


---


Another week has passed and Sooyoung was slowly getting used to the fact that it was time for her to completely let go of what her and Tiffany had in the past.

Everything was going well. She was returning back to the normal Sooyoung who doesn’t have swollen eyes and runny nose all the damn time.

Everything was going well and if it wasn’t for her little problem of forgetting things, everything would’ve stayed that way. Everything would’ve been fine.

“Hyo, I forgot my phone at the dining table. Wait for me here. Don’t you dare leave and make me take a cab,” she threatened as she made her way back to their house. She was a few feet away from the dining area when she heard someone giggling.

The door was slightly opened but she didn’t need to take a peek to know that it was Fany giggling. She knew it was rude to eavesdrop but curiosity got the best of her.

“So you needed your brother, Victoria and her husband to know that you’re in love with me?”

One, Two.

“How was I supposed to know that I was falling in love with you? I thought it was nothing so I just tried to ignore it.”

Three, Four.

“What about you?”

“I only realized that I started liking you when Krystal got in the picture, I guess. I don’t know…”

Five, Six.

Just like that she goes crumbling down again. She felt betrayed. Oddly enough, she didn’t feel betrayed because of finding out that Tiffany has been feeling something different for Yuri. She felt betrayed that all this time Yuri has been harbouring hidden affection for the bubbly girl.

Help. Someone just wounded my heart…again.

She ran out of the house and hastily got inside the car. Not saying a word. Trying not to break down and cry.

So much for taking baby steps.