And the day finally came. The discharge was something that Xiumin had been waiting for for tooo long. There was still a really big way to go, but to be out of the hospital was definitively the first step.

After a really big argument between Chen and Zelo regarding Xiumins next home, the fact that Chen and Zitao already lived in a small house, they were already four people going on five and with only one person working for all of them, Zelos house won.

Xiumin said that he just needed some money to rent a place on his own, but nobody listened to him, plus the dorctors agreed that he couldnt be left alone, so no, he didnt have a say in this matter.

---------

When he saw the place that Zelo prepared for him, he couldnt be anymore than thankfull.

Zelo lived in a big apparment and the room that he gave to him was as big an appartment of his own. It had a bed (of course), a desk, a library, bathroom and small living room. It was like an hotel room.

Xiumin felt ashame of himself again, he knew that he maight never pay Zelo back for all that he had done for him. "All I need from you is that you recover completely", the younger had said to him.

---------

So Xiumin try his best to keep up with all the things that he had to do. He had to take a lot of medicines and attend therapy sessions, both for his body and mind. He couldnt work, he had to focus only on himself and in being better. He also started to attend AA meetings.

From time to time, specially those days that there wasnt a lot to do, he would spend his time drawing and battling the idea of calling Luhan. Yes, he had his number; no, Zelo gave it to him. So anyway...he had a million excuses, actually one, Sehan. He sometimes even practiced what to say: "Hello this is Xiumin...I just called to ask how Sehan was doing...its been a long time since I last saw him...blah blah". He never did it, even though he thought that all of this was disapointing to Sehan, he also suspected that Luhan wouldnt want his son around him. On this times all he had to do was to take his sleeping pills a little before time so he just fall asleep and stop this nonsencical thoughts.

Luhan was the topic of a lot of his therapy sessions, he really wanted to forget about him...well not forget just take out of his mind this idea that for him there was only Luhan. And also he really wanted to erase the memories of that old Luhan, the Luhan that smiled and said yes to every of his wishes. It was hard because those memories helped him survived, when he first came to China and had to sleep on the streets and the allies and got beaten up just for doing that, when he had to sit down because he was so hungry that his body wouldnt respond and even afew month ago when he went thru jail hell.

There was also a biggest fear in him: if he let go of this fantasies he had to admit that it was just him in this world, well him and his friends, but as a grown man there were things that he still wanted, a family, for example. He was happy and proud to be a good uncle to Chens kids, even to Sehan, but he wanted to know how it was to be a father, what it was to have a "normal life", to wake up next to someone who chose to wake up with you. So he could close his eyes and see Luhan, next to him in bed, greeting him in the mornings, sharing a table for dinner...those were the thing that he remembered the most. He almost never rememberes the lusty nights nor how Luhan was like .

But he knows that in order to become a new Xiumin, he had to let all of that go, even Luhan.

-------------

Luhan was holding his newborn nephew, Fanxing, but his brother knew that he wasnt thinking about the little baby in his arms.

"Whats with you?", Yixing asked

"Nothing. Im fine"

"Is it about that man?"

"What man?"

"Kim Minseok. Sehan told me that you visited him", he said with a dissaproving tone.

"Sehan was driving me crazy. So I took him"

"Right"

"Right? Whats that suppossed to mean"

"That I dont think that Sehan was the only one who wnated to see him"

"Well no. I wanted to see him too. I told you I wasnt gonna carry any kind of cross on my soul"

"So now that youve seen that he is well. Why are you still thinking of him?...And let me add: you, all wet, at four in the morning, crying your eyes out, asking me to drop the charges against that man, is something that I wont eassily forget"

"Yixing", Luhan warned

"No, really Luhan. That world, the world that that man supported, morally and economically, was the world that kept us apart, that took Sehuns life. Have you forgotten? The life that that lawyer described was hardly the life that I had as a slave, the life that Sehun had and the life that you had, even with you living in the same house with him!"

"How dare you to say that Ive forgotten what took Sehuns life? I know very well what was it! But you talk as if Kim Minseok was the only guilty of that and he wasnt"

"I know that he wasnt, but you make it seem like he was the heroe, when he was ing you after he bought you with the sole intention of just ing you. Or you think it was love at first sight or something? That was and still is a really sick man"

"Im so tire of this. Were you there? Did you know what happend behind close doors?"

"No, I only knew what you told me. And you told me that it was hell, as bad as any other that you had, that you would be killed if you tried to leave. Remember? Were you lying to me then?"

"No I wasnt! I just think two things: one, that he had enough punishment already for everything that he and his family did; and two: that you should stay away from whatever I do with my son". Yixing sighed.

"Were YOU in love with him?"

"....I have only loved Sehun...but, right now, I dont know the answer for that", he admited.

--------------

"I think you should go on dates"

"What?! Hahahaha, Zelo ah, be honest. Who would go out with someone like me? I dont even have a house, or a job and I just went out of jail. Im half crazy and look at this", he said running a hand through his new fund grey hair.

"Pff, that can be eassily fix"

"And this?", he said pointing at his head.

"You are working on it, arent you? Or maybe is it that you only wanna date a certain someone?", Zelo smirked. Xiumin went on shy high school girl mode.

"Hyung I swear if you ever show him this much cuteness he would ask you out on a date for sure!", the older blushed at the statment. "In fact...", Zelo said putting down his chop stick and grabing his cel phone.

"What are you doing?!!", Xiumin jumped of his chair.

"Hyung be quiet, you can have big emotions remember?"

"What are you doing? Please"

"Shh...its ringing"

"Oh my God, stop, please"

"Hello? Luhan hyung! How are you?"

"Hi. Im fine. Whats the matter?"

"No, everything is fine. I was just calling you to tell you that we are having a welcome home dinner...I know its a little late, but Ive been busy...Anyway a welcome home party for Xiumin hyung, because he lives with me now...and I was wondering if could come and bring Sehan, because God knows hyung loves that kid....what do you say?"

"..W..when is it?"

"Tomorrow night. Is that ok with you? I can move the date, I really want hyung to see your boy, he misses him you know?", Xiumin was covering his face with his hands.

"Yeah he misses him too..."

"Really, so will you come?"

"Is Chen gonna be there, I dont want to pick a fight with him...you know how he..."

"Oh yeah, yeah dont worry about that. So will you?"

"Yes count us in"

"Really? Thank you hyung. You have a big heart", he said and hung up. "He said yes"

"What the hell Zelo?! You shouldnt have done that!"

"Oh please...I gave you his phone for you to call him, since is taking you a million years, I did it"

"Well didnt you ever think that I might have my reasons to not call him?"

"Yeah and Im really sure that those reason are ridiculous", he snorted. "Now we have to get you a make over".

"What?!"