Chapter 37

“Sorry, I just woke up. Let me freshen up for a bit.” Taeyeon excused herself, grinning, apparently high from Jessica’s sweet and ephemeral farewell.
 
Tiffany nodded as she watched Taeyeon disappear into her room. She couldn’t still process how things turned out like this in just weeks. Up to now, she couldn’t accept the fact that it was Taeyeon who broke off their relationship. She couldn’t help it as Tiffany knew herself that Taeyeon had cherished and valued their secret affair more, as if her life depended on it. Taeyeon admitted it though, that Tiffany was her life, her world, and her everything. Although it spiked her ego, she felt awful whenever she heard Taeyeon say it because she couldn’t return the same sentiment. 

However, she felt she couldn’t say the same anymore when Taeyeon’s absence started to get into her. Before her mind could wander deeper, Tiffany heard the door to Taeyeon’s room creak open. 

“So, what’s with the sudden visit?” asked Taeyeon, sitting across the other girl.
 
The question made Tiffany feel unwelcome and unwanted. She wasn’t used to Taeyeon acting casually around her. Whenever she decided to spend time with her, Taeyeon appreciated every second of it. Even a simple glance was enough for the smaller girl’s heart to swell in joy. But now, Tiffany wasn’t having any of it. Taeyeon didn't even notice her eye-catching make-up and dress. “I just thought I’d pay a visit to see how you’re doing.”

“Oh, I’m good.” Taeyeon was greatly surprised because she never expected Tiffany to show up at her place just to ask that, especially after what had happened. It wasn’t like she wanted them to forget each other’s existence. Sure they could be friends, but not this soon. 
 
Tiffany smiled wistfully. “I can see that. You look very happy.”
 
Taeyeon was starting to be confused by Tiffany’s behavior. But that wouldn’t make her deny ex’s observation. “I am.”
 
Awkward silences invaded the living room before Tiffany spoke up again, “Is this what you really want?”
 
“What do you mean?”
 
“This.” Old habits die hard. Tiffany’s pride wouldn’t let her sentiments out her chest. 
 
“I don’t exactly get what you mean, Tiffany.”
 
It had to be said. But as expected, Tiffany had to think twice about it. “Do you really… want to be with her?”
 
“Jessica?”
 
Tiffany replied with a meek nod. 

“Yes.”
 
“Why?”
 
Perplexed, Taeyeon’s forehead wrinkled, her voice a decibel higher, “Why?”
 
“Why her? Why not Sunny? Why-“ Tiffany resumed after swallowing thickly, unable to fix her gaze on her ex-lover. “You could have replaced me with someone better.”
 
Someone better? How dare she judge Jessica? Taeyeon began to chew her lips in chagrin. “Why are you telling me this?”
 
Head hung low, Tiffany’s reply came out in a reluctant whisper, “I only want what’s the best for you, Taeyeon.”
 
That did it.

“Really? If you do, we wouldn’t end up like this. You knew what I wanted, Tiffany. All I wanted was for you to love me! I know I had agreed that we wouldn’t be public. It hurt when you tell everyone we’re just friends. It hurt when you tell people that you admire our sunbaes.” 

The painful memories flashed in her head and her heart reminded Taeyeon that it didn’t forget as well. Taeyeon didn’t want to cry. She didn’t want to look weak and pathetic in front of Tiffany but her eyes betrayed her. 

“But you know what hurt the most? It’s when you don’t show me love when it’s only the two of us.”
 
+++
 
“Jessica-unnie…”
 
Jessica turned her attention to her co-worker as she waited for the orders to be ready. “Yes?”
 
“I think someone’s waiting for you outside.”
 
Her gaze flew to the window nearest the employee’s exit but couldn’t spot anyone. “How did you know they’re waiting for me? Do you know who it is?”
 
Before, it was always Yuri who always waited for Jessica. She figured Jessica had rejected her so she stopped showing up. Seeing Yuri leave nearby bars wasted as hell when her shift ended also added to her assumption. “Yeah. It’s Taeyeon-unnie.”
 
“Oh.”
 
Joohyun giggled, “Unnie, your cheeks are pink.”
 
“It’s just my make-up, Joohyun.” Jessica said with a matter-of-fact tone as she tried to keep that signature stoic face.
 
Of course, Joohyun knew she’d do that. The café-bar wasn’t that busy at the moment so she decided to have a little fun by teasing her senior. “Really? You look different today. You’re always beautiful but today, you are glowing.”
 
“I think it’s just you. Did you not have enough sleep last night? It seems you’re seeing things.”
 
“Maybe.” Joohyun did stay up late to review for her upcoming tests but it wasn’t a reason for her to see things. She wished the fun lasted a little longer but patrons began occupying chairs and tables like a flash flood. 
 
+++
 
Jessica's arms crossed over her chest upon spotting the short girl leaning against the walls of bricks. The said girl was playing on her phone her presence went unnoticed, prompting her to announce it herself, “Why are you here again?”
 
Taeyeon immediately quit the application and pocketed her phone. Her face couldn’t hide her excitement as she approached Jessica. “I’ve been waiting for you. Have you already packed your things?”
 
“You’re serious about that?” Jessica didn't miss the way Taeyeon's expression drop when she asked that.
 
Taeyeon met her Jessica’s unexpressive eyes with her determined ones. “I am. Are you?”
 
She didn't get a reply right away. “What about Tiffany?”
 
“What about her?”
 
“You mean? You didn’t-“ Jessica didn’t bother to finish that sentence when Taeyeon didn’t react. She guessed Taeyeon failed to convince Tiffany to come back to her. “Nevermind.”
 
“What is it?” insisted Taeyeon.
 
“You’re an idiot. I left you two there alone so you could make up.”
 
Upset, a deep sigh escaped Taeyeon’s lips. She should have known Jessica only did that because she wanted to piss off Tiffany. Something Jessica loved doing as per her assumption. “We didn’t.”
 
Jessica was astounded by the simple response. “Why are you so okay about it? The last time she broke up with you, you were a crying mess.”
 
“Why are you so concerned about it?” Taeyeon answered with a question. She wasn't gonna tell Jessica that it was her who decided to break it off. Not now, at least.
 
Jessica was caught off guard. The way Taeyeon’s behaving was weirding her out. “I’m not.”
 
Taeyeon just shrugged her shoulders. “Okay. But, we’re not getting back together again. That’s all I’m saying.”
 
Jessica didn’t believe that 100%. Or maybe Taeyeon got a new girl now. “What about the other girl?”
 
Other girl? Taeyeon paused to think. “Who? Sunny?”
 
“Yeah.”
 
Taeyeon wasn’t sure if she heard a scoff when Jessica replied. “She’s just a friend.”
 
Maybe Taeyeon was really telling the truth. Jessica couldn’t either think of anything as to why Taeyeon would lie to her. “I see.” 
 
“You see what?” asked Taeyeon somewhat playfully when she heard Jessica sigh in relief.
 
Jessica snarled upon noticing that -eating grin on Taeyeon’s face. Just when did Taeyeon become this confident? Did her bestfriend’s cockiness rub off on her? “I just don’t want any girl getting overly jealous of me again because I’m gonna live with you under the same roof.”
 
“Don’t worry about it. I promise that won’t happen again.” Taeyeon raised her right hand as if she was taking a pledge.
 
Taeyeon didn’t look anything near serious and Jessica pondered why she could feel the sincerity behind that stupid, childish grin. “Whatever, let’s go home.”
 
Us.
 
Home.
 
 Taeyeon liked the sound of that.
 
+++
 
“I’m gonna buy stuff when payday comes.” stated Jessica, eyeing the belongings she could only take with her. She didn’t want to abuse Taeyeon’s hospitality so she thought she should do her part.
 
“Like?”
 
“A bed. Personal things.”
 
“You can sleep with me.” Taeyeon said without thinking, causing Jessica to arch an eyebrow with a ‘what-a-ert’ look and a fake gasp.
 
Taeyeon palmed her face at the wordless accusation. Her cheeks reddened when her ‘dream’ with Jessica resurfaced in her mind. She prayed hard that she wouldn't remember it every night because they were going to lie on the same bed from now on. “N-no! I mean, we can share my bed. We can sleep ‘beside’ each other. It’s not what you’re thinking, okay?”
 
Jessica snorted, mocking her, not missing the way her face turn as red as a tomato. “As if you know something about it, noob.” 
 
“Wha-“ Then Taeyeon realized Jessica was making fun of her being a .
 
“Quite ironic, isn’t it? You’re still a but you have the hands of a ert.”
 
Jessica was calling her that again. She wasn’t sure if which was more insulting – Jessica calling her a ert or a ? The latter isn’t something to be ashamed of though… “For the nth time Jessica, I’m not.”
 
“You’re not a what? A ert or a ?” Jessica snickered. 
 
“I’m not a ert!” Taeyeon firmly declared but stuttered when she added, “A-and what’s wrong with that? Being a, uh, ? Didn’t you say that you’re one too?”
 
“How long has it been since I said that?” answered Jessica blithely. Actually, Jessica had expected th