The dorm was surprisingly quite although five of them were there; well it was five since Mari was there too. Recently, dorm was like Minhyuk and Yonghwa’s house since Jonghyun spent most of his time at Jinyi’s house and Jungshin was practically moved into Mari’s unit.

Mari was lying down with book on her hand when Jungshin towering before her asking for her passport.

‘Why do you need my passport,’ she asked, still lying down.

‘Teddy Hyung needs it to book the ticket for next week,’

Mari raised eyebrow, ticket? Next week?

‘Ticket for what?’ she sat up.

‘I asked to bring you to our tour next week,’ Jungshin replied as he scratched his nape.

‘Tour?’

Jungshin nodded, ‘yes, our tour will started by next week and you’ll come with us,’

Mari rubbed her temple, ‘dear, why I should come, I have job to do here,’

‘Look,’ Jungshin crunched down so Mari’s face was slightly above him, ‘in the past few weeks we’ve been through frustrating situation up to the point I’d like to take you out from this crazy world, unfortunately, I can’t. And this tour, we’ll go around Japan and I hope I could sneak a little time with you, can I?’

Mari didn’t say anything.

‘Please, can we make it as little holiday? If I’m not mistaken, you’re still being able to work once you hiding in Busan, so I guess you’re still able to working too in Japan.’

‘What about the other?’

‘Don’t worry about them, literally it was them who asked me to do this, will you come?’ and how come Mari will reject such a puppy eyes he was giving? There’s no way she can.

Mari nodded and Jungshin mentally dancing in the air.

***

‘Can’t you cancel you appointment? I can’t drive you −’

‘Dear, you’re not my chauffeur alright? I can go there by myself,’

‘But –’

‘I’m not a sick person, and, I just need to get my report, stop worrying me too much okay?’ Mari cut Jungshin and she heard a sighed on the other line as she close his car door and strapped herself.

‘Alright,’

‘I’m hung up,’

‘Drive safely and call me once you arrive,’ he commandingly said.

‘You’re in the studio for work, Dear,’

‘I don’t care and just for you know, I have my phone with me,’

‘Alright, I hung up now; I’ll call once I reached there,’

‘Okay, I love you,’

‘I love you too,’ Mari hung up the call and started the engine.

It was little cloudy today, and the hospital seemed rather quite than usual, was it because it about to lunch time?

Maybe.

Doctor Min’s office looked quite and her assistant told her to wait a little while.

‘Doctor Min is still outside,’ she said.

‘It’s okay, I’ll wait for her,’ Mari smiled.

‘Can I get you anything? Tea or something?’

‘Just water is fine,’

The nurse nodded and disappeared behind the door. Since Mari agreed to come to CNBLUE’s Japanese tour next week, her personal doctor recommended her to do general check up and even wished her that the little holiday will work out. Mari smiled while remembering their conversation a week ago and of course the one who excited pretty much was Jungshin.

When she was alone like this and thinking of him, her very dear boyfriend, sometimes, she had no idea why or how she fallen for him in the first place. Sure he has his own point, but well, he wasn’t the first choice for most of women out there because maybe their chosen one most likely will be Yonghwa or Jonghyun. But here she was, fallen for Jungshin right in the first time she saw him. What a way the world runs, Mari smiled.

Mari checked her wrist watch and the one she waiting for wasn’t come yet. Sighed, Mari headed to the rest room. Locking herself in one of the stall before she heard someone’s coming and chatting. Mari was about to come out once she was finish her business when she heard her name being mentioned.

‘I guess I saw Mari Lee just now,’ the first sound Mari heard.

‘Yep, why?’ her friend asked.

‘You know, I kind of envy her, who wouldn’t by the way? She has look, career, and very loving boyfriend not to mention her boyfriend is probably the one many girls wants to die for, she’s so lucky,’

‘I wouldn’t argue that except about she’s being lucky,’

Mari raised her eyebrow, curious.

‘She’s not that lucky, but yeah she’s lucky to have Jungshin all by herself,’

‘Care to explained,’

‘I can’t,’

‘Nah, you’ve just spilling the bean why didn’t you take those all out, you know who I’m,’

There quite for sometime which Mari assumed the girl hesitate to tell whatever she knows.

‘Mari, you do know she has problem with her womb right? And it’s not like something light; it’s serious, very serious up to the point she can’t pregnant anymore. To tell you honestly, all of she doing right now is useless, it’s only miracle if she be able to pregnant in the future.’

Mari’s heart felt like dropped, useless? Only miracle?

‘Then why does she keep coming over?’

‘Because she doesn’t know the truth, and this is why I envy her the most, because Jungshin trying all the way he can to protect her, he didn’t want her to break down again, he said he will tell her, but not now.’

‘But it’s ridiculous, didn’t she read her report?’

‘We give her fake and the original we give to Jungshin, dr. Min is Lee’s personal doctor though,’

Enough, that’s more than enough for Mari, everything seemed blurred now. What was that? Did she seriously have no chance? And did Jungshin really keep this matter from her? It’s crazy, why did he keep this from her? She has every right to know.

“He didn’t want her to break down again,”

Those line rung in her mind, sure, it will break her down. That is why he asked her to let miracle playing, that is why he insisted they will keep trying but no pressure, of course because he knows from the start, she wouldn’t be able to bear a child. Their child, their living proof of love.

She will not be able to be a real woman.

Ever.

***

Mari walked lifelessly on the side walk, she forgot her appointment, she forgot her car, in fact she knows she can’t drive with her not in the right mind and she forgot if she had to take her report. There nothing she on her heart but guilty. As much as she didn’t want to remember her past, but those were the main reasons of her severe life right now. Why her gave mother gave birth to her that time? Why didn’t she kick her out once her brother was born?

Oh Mari forgot; her mother did that, she sent her to Vancouver, there was everything started.

Mari’s miserable life.

Why? Why everything is complete mess? It is just recently she can fully open up toward Jungshin, and it hasn’t been long since their nice days finally coming.

Mari swept her tears away with her back of the hand as she fished out her phone and leaned on the wall behind the bus stop.

‘Yoboseyo,’ Jonghyun picked the call after ringing twice.

‘Jonghyun-ah ... what do I do?’ Mari weakly asked as she wiped her tears away.

‘Noona are you crying?’ Jonghyun began panic. ‘Noona what happen?’

‘I feel useless now,’

‘Noona, are you outside? – Mari nodded didn’t aware if Jonghyun can’t see it – waiting for me at home okay? Just going back home I’ll be there after I finish my photo shot okay?’

‘Alright, I’ll see you later,’

‘I mean it Noona; wait for me at home alright?’

‘Okay,’ Mari wiped her tears again before she hung up and walked toward the bus stop bench.

Mari’s chest clenched upon seeing mother and daughter sitting next to her, a minute later she saw a pregnant woman stepping down from the bus. Mari heaved a deep breath and fished out her phone.

‘Eomonim, can I visit you?’

***

Jonghyun frowned when he arrived at Mari’s unit and it’s empty. The whole house was still dark, as if told that the owner of th house not home yet.

‘Where is she?’ Jonghyun mumbled and quickly fished out his phone and put in on the speed dial.

Frowned.

‘Eomonim?’

It can’t be happening.

No, it’s not.

Jonghyun run as fast as he could and impatiently waiting for the elevator, he even kicked the metal door several times and once the car was arrive and the doors finally opened he began to kicked the compartment wall for being slow.

He cursed Mari for her love toward high place for living. Why does she choose to live in the 26^th floor? Why didn’t she live in the 16^th or better yet 6^th floor?

The silver Mercedes speed up as soon as the owner slid in the car and strapped himself hastily.

Halfway driving Jonghyun put his Bluetooth earpiece and to his dismay the number he called was busy reluctantly he push the other number and in two rings the other line picked up the call.

‘Yes Hyung?’

‘Where are you?’

‘Still in the photoset but I’m about to leave,’ Jungshin replied.

‘Is Junhyung Hyung there?’

‘Yeah, why?’

‘Can I talk to him?’

‘Wait sec,’

Jonghyun drumming his finger on the steering wheel while waiting for the red light turn into green and just then the line was reconnected.

‘Yes Jonghyun-ah is there anything? You just called me didn’t you?’

‘Yeah, does Jungshin have another schedule after this?’

‘No, why?’

‘Don’t send him home,’

Junghyung frowned and cocked his head to Jungshin who joked around with the other staff and just listen to whatever Jonghyun saying with wide eyes.

‘Alright, we’ll see you there,’ Junghyung said.

‘Thank you Hyung,’

‘Anytime, you drive safely,’

‘Got it,’

***

Why I’m here? Where is this?

This place is strange, it’s strangely bright, the light is dazzling up to my eyes can’t found its source.

I looked around and ... what with those people?

Why they swarming around?

I went to one of them, asked, but seemed no one can hear me.

Strange,

They act as if they didn’t see me, invisible.

What is it?

I try to walk and strangeness hit me, why do my body feel so light?

Jungshin, Dear where are you? It scares me now I need you here...

Please hold me, I’m scared.

Everything is bright, too bright; my eyes can’t make to figure anything now.

Dear I’m scared please hold me I need you ...

Update .....

Like I said earlier, this story is coming to an end, it left couple of chapters ... I

hope you guys enjoy the rest of the story,

I'd like to say hi to all my subbies, and silent reader out there :)))