Jungshin was walking home tiredly tonight, his body was screaming asked for rest and right now, all he wanted just reached home as soon as possible and sleep. Yonghwa had given him hard time today. Not complaint though because he also want perfection. But his strong desire was swept away once he opened the door and evearsdrop Mari and Jonghyun’s conversation.

‘When you gonna tell him?’ Jonghyun asked as he played his food.

‘Tell what?  And who’s him?’ Mari asked back, confused.

‘You know what I’m talking about,’ Jonghyun said.

Mari sighed and shook her head.

‘He has every right to know Noona,’ Jonghyun continued. ‘Or do you want me to talk to him?’

Once again, Mari shook her head.

‘Noona …’

‘Pet-ah, you know it’s something I can’t share,’

‘But it’s Jungshinie, somebody who love you unconditionally —’

‘I’m going back home to Kyoto.’

Jonghyun dropped his chopstick and it clanged on the floor. While Jungshin frozen on the spot.

“Going back home to Kyoto”?

What is it, the word of “going back home”, “going back home”, “home”.

Mari’s words seemed like bomb that explode all in sudden. What is it, does she wanna break up? Jungshin mentally questioned himself.

‘What did you just say?’

Instead of replying her Pet question, Mari picked up the chopstick and headed to the kitchen to get Jonghyun clean one.

‘Then, what about Jungshinie?’ Jonghyun asked with concern face as Mari handed him a pair of clean chopstick.

‘He’ll be fine. He’s fine before I came to his life and he’ll be fine even I’m not around moreover, he’s still have you. There’s no problem.’

On his hiding  place Jungshin almost faint upon listening the sentences but there nothing he could do aside weakly leaned against the wall to support himself from fallen down. He could not believe that Mari has a plan to leave him.

Why?

‘But why? Here is your home. And if you wanna home why it has to be Kyoto? Your home is Busan, nowhere else!’

Busan?

Yeah, Jonghyun and Mari, they are that close by the way, Mari even has her own room in his house; so, it is not surprise for Jonghyun saying that.

Mari shook her head before replied,

‘It’s not my place; you know that very well Jonghyun-ah, I’m so happy being with you all but I’m not in the state I can receive every love you give to me. Eomma, Appa, Eonnie and you are my precious family that I can’t lose any one of you. Even just in my imagination, I can’t bear the thought of losing. And Jungshinie …’ Mari paused for a second and smiling. ‘He’s the only person I ever love.’

‘I don’t understand,’ Jonghyun stated and put down his chopstick. He looks at his Noona right in her eyes. ‘If you love them all, why are you leaving?’

‘I told you it’s not my place; I can’t burden you with my matter all the time. I can’t risk any of you with my matter.’

‘Who “you” are you referring to? Me? Jungshinie?’

‘CNBLUE,’ Mari replied shortly.

Jonghyun laughed.

And Jungshin has no idea what or where the conversation is headed to because he is clueless.

What actually the two of them talking about?

‘Are you kidding me? CNBLUE? Don’t bring CNBLUE for your stupid reason!’ Jonghyun raised his voice, ‘you said you love me, you said you love Jungshinie YET you’re still thinking to leave us!’

‘It’s not because I wanted to!’ Mari retorted.

‘You don’t want to? Don’t tell me it’s gonna protect us. Love is not about runaway but facing everything together and you still saying that you love Jungshinie? If you love him you will never ever thinking about leaving INSTEAD you’ll stay by his side lean on his shoulder and asked him to help you to get you out from your mess!'

‘Lee Jonghyun!’

‘What!!! I’m right, am I? You never love Jungshinie; you just think that you love him but you never!

‘How dare you!’

‘Yes I dare! Why? You don’t want to admit it? You act as if you the only one who feel the sorrow. That you’re the only one who have right to feel the grief. But have you ever think about Jungshinie? Didn’t you think he also feel the same way you do? Because for the heaven sake, he’s the father! It’s not only you that losing the baby but Jungshinie too! And probably he felt worst because of the guilt. He’s the father but he’s unable to protect his unborn baby —’

‘Stop it!’ Mari screamed and stood up abruptly.

‘— he can’t even cry because he knows, he can’t down when you’re at the bottom. He has to be strong so you can lean on him, so you can find strength in him, have you ever think about that? Have you ever think that he might need a hug? A simple comforter like, “just cry, I’m here with you”. You never Noona, because you’re too busy to whinned over your life —’

‘Stop it! I told you to stop!!!’ Mari yelled and covered her both ears with her hands, tears already fall over her face.

Jonghyun shook his head,

‘— I won’t stop; I won’t stop until you open your eyes widely. I understand that you went through terrible life in the past, but it didn’t make you have every right to hurt other for the sake to try to protect your self. Relationship is about to compromised and shared both happiness and sadness. You can’t just simply leave to finish everything. I don’t care if you hurt other people or you hurt me instead, but it’s Jungshinie that you’re hurting. It’s Jungshinie, somebody who loves you more than you can imagine he would be!’

‘Please stop it …’ Mari pleaded tears still covering her face.

Meanwhile Jungshin has mix feeling on his hiding placce, he was glad that Jonghyun told Mari everything he wanted to tell but he can’t and on the other hand seeing the woman he loves with all his heart and soul tortured by those words, it indescribably feeling because it pained him so much. He hates to see Mari powerless, he hates to see her crying.

‘Do you have any idea how much Jungshinie loves you? And as simple as that you wanna leave him —’ 

‘Please stop …’

‘— Jungshinie —’

‘Lee Jonghyun enough!’ Jungshin cannot hold any longer. He cannot bear to see Mari tortured, although he wanted to know her secret badly. It is million times better if he doesn’t know anything. ‘Enough Hyung,’

Jonghyun stood died there, surprise, when did Jungshin come? He appeared out of now where.

‘It’s okay, I’m here,’ Jungshin whispered as he crouched down and hug the crying woman tightly, it took several second for him to calm her down before lift her up and carrying her into their room.

Mari was sobbing hard when Jungshin threw blanket all over her body and caressed he top of her head. It was the time he acknowledges that Mari’s fingers intertwined to each other just like when she scares of something. Slowly, he stretched out his hand and covered the small knuckles with his own large palm. His heart drops into his stomach upon feeling the trembling hands beneath him, he lying beside her and hold her tightly. He cannot help but mentally asking what kind of past she had been through yet he promised himself, as much as his curiosity will eating him alive, he would never dig up Mari’s past. It’s more than enough to see her tortured by Jonghyun’s words just now.

‘Don’t take what Jonghyunie Hyung had said into heart, you know how much he loves you,’ he whispered and kissed Mari’s head.

Minutes passed and when Mari’s breathe became soft and regular signalling that she is already doze off, Jungshin slowly and carefully shifted and got up.

The house was pretty quite, it was serious unusual thing here because Mari would always play the player 24 hours a day if she’s home. The house was never silence without music. Jungshin went straight in to the dining room; the room was still the same with abandon food and messing table. Jungshin looked around the house to find Jonghyun, but the latter seemed nowhere in the house. He didn’t hear the door open when he was put Mari on sleep then he must be somewhere in the house, but where is he?

And there he was, Lee Jonghyun was standing against the sink with his both arms supporting his body from the edge of the sink, he was shaking, and his eyes are puffy and red. He was surely been crying.

‘Sorry,’ that was the only word that came out from the crying man when he acknowledged Jungshin approaching him.

Jungshin sighed and leaned against the bathroom wall and crossed his arms on his chest.

‘I know Hyung love her, and Hyung don’t purposely hurt her either, it’s nothing to be sorry. I don’t know if it’s proper or not but I thank to you. No matter how much I wanna say those words, I just can’t. I don’t know what kind of past she had been through or what Hyung doing for her in the past but with her condition right now, it must be tough for Mari and I don’t wanna hurt her just because of my curiosity.’

Jonghyun didn’t know what does he feel upon hearing the younger’s word and he couldn’t help but admiring the maturity of the young man behind him. His affection and his understanding toward his precious Noona are priceless.

‘How much you heard?’ Jonghyun straighten up his body and facing his maknae through the big mirror in front of him.

‘I heard everything,’

Once again, Jonghyun was frozen on the spot.

Jungshin had heard everything!

***

‘Wanna have drink with me?’ Jonghyun proposed out of the random blue to Jungshin after their practice session today.

Jungshin frowned.

It’s bit off and strange since recently both of them never really talked or joke around like they used to be.

Minhyuk was about to volunteer himself to join but Yonghwa quickly tugged the drummer arm and signalling to him to let the two.

‘Right now?’ Jungshin questioned.

‘Yes,’ Jonghyun replied shortly and still occupied himself with his stuff.

‘I’m sor –’

‘I’ll ask Jinyi to sleep over and take care of Noona if that what you think are you’ll say,’ he cut the younger across.

As if on cue, Yonghwa dragged Minhyuk out of their studio to give the other two private spaces.

‘What is it Hyung,’ Jungshin asked calmly as he leaned at the back rest of the sofa.

‘We need to talk, I have something to talk to you,’ Jonghyun said, still avoiding the younger’s gaze.

‘Alright,’

Hnggg big fight again :(  

 

And how I wish I have such an understanding boyfriend like Jungshin awwwww ...

Out of story.

Actually I don't have mood to write anything since yesterday. I was so broken hearted seeing my other boys are suffered.

I'm not talking about CNBLUE but I'm talking about EXO.

I just recently being their fans, and huge shockwaves caused by Yifan is like drained my energy. But then again I realize, my reader here doesn't know about it since they're here for CNBLUE, so here it is, an update for you.

To those who want to know what excatly happen to me yesterday you can visit my blog post #WeBelieveInKris

Until the next upadate :)

Thank you for reading XD