Death. I was waiting for it. I wanted to welcome it. My plans consisted of the worst possible scenarios, and me dying was always expected. I just wanted Naeun to be safe. She was all I cared for. I might lose my life, but she has hers to look forward to.

The memories I had with her flashed before me. These were the memories I wanted to keep. I only wanted the memories I had of her rather than the bleak, lonely ones I had the majority of my life. As those memories flashed before me, I could feel my heart getting heavier.

I didn't want to, but I started to regret it. Regret forfeitting my life, instead of spending it with her. I missed her smell, her touch. Her smooth skin and fragrant hair. I could still remember them as though she was right there beside me. Her lips that tasted like strawberries. I wanted to kiss them again. My heart, if I had one, yearned for her. My fingers missed interlocking hers.

Guilt was the next emotion that hit me. As I remembered how happy she was, how in love we were, my heart broke thinking how hurt she must be right now. I remember promising her I would stay by her side forever, and yet here I am, waiting for death to fetch me. Seeing her cry once was bad enough, knowing I'm the one to cause her heartbreak now is just depressing.

I wanted to go back. To the times I spent with her. To the days I spent laughing with her, hugging her, kissing her. But I could not. I'm waiting for death. And death shows no mercy.