“I’m telling you – it was them,” I stress on, grabbing Himchan by the shoulder, “Definitely them, I’m sure.”

Himchan exchange glances with the other members, and they all avoided eye contact with me; with matching uneasy expression on their faces. “Yongguk, we talked about this. You’re just tired – we all are. Let’s just get some rest.”

It’s true – I am dead exhausted. We’ve been on hiatus for a year and now that everything’s resolved, we’re back on stage performing. It is the greatest feeling when we stood on stage performing for our beloved, loyal fans. I had believed that at that moment, I’d be able to turn over a new leaf. When I stood on that stage with the lights shining down upon my brothers and I, I had believed that I had succeeded in leaving my past.

“But what if this time they’re real?”

Alas, in the high of performing our hearts out, I swear I saw the sisters amidst the crowd. It was only for a split second – but I am sure it was them. My eyes searched for them whilst trying not to mess up the choreography. They weren’t there. Not anymore, at least. But I am sure. Because for that split second, the music fell into a deafening silence.

“Hyung, if anyone hears you right now, they’d put you in a madhouse,” Daehyun says under his breath, eyes locked on the level indicator of the elevator all 6 of us are in, “Are you starting to get delusional again?”

The last time I was, was about a year ago, after they left, of course. Whenever I opened the door to our dorm, I prayed Haejin and Haemi would be there in the living room, faces lighting up as they welcome us home with homemade dinner. Sometimes I could almost hear her voice calling out for me, asking for my help with the lid of the pickle jar. She’d tell me she’s strong enough, but she’s just testing my strength.

Sometimes I catch myself calling out for her in the mornings as I step into the kitchen half asleep. Sometimes I watch her favorite boring shows even though the boys hated it. I hated them too. But they reminded me of how she’d swat my hands away when I tried to change the channel. Sometimes I closed my eyes and pretended they never left – nothing ever changed.

But things couldn’t stay as they were for long. After some time, their room had to be cleared out. I made a ruckus about it, but after the 3rd month I gave in. And soon after that, we had to move out. Our new place isn’t so bad – but they lacked memory. I was sure all the guys thought so as well, but nobody dared to say a thing about it. But I guess it was for the better. After a while, I caught myself going a day without thinking about them. Then it was a week, and then a month. At that point, I really thought I’d finally moved on.

Despite it all, I guess being on stage triggered something in me that brought back all the memories in a harsh, crashing wave.

“Hyung?”

My heart skip a beat as I was tugged back to reality. Five pairs of eyes stare at me in concern. “We’re here,” Junhong points at the level indicator.

“Maybe they’d still be there,” I mutter under my breath, standing rooted against the interior of the elevator.

“Or maybe you’d be mauled by fans,” Himchan retorted, “Don’t be stupid, you just need a warm shower and rest.”

I catch a smirk tugging on Jongup’s lips. I grunt and follow suit. Perhaps he’s right.

It couldn’t have been them.

It couldn’t have been her.

I slump myself onto the bed next to Himchan with a heavy sigh.