Mi Young P.O.V.

I woke up from my nap. I ruffled my hair. I looked to my side and saw that Junhong wasn't there anymore. 

"Aish!" I said again. So I wasn't just dreaming. I sighed. I looked at the time. It was 7 PM. I sighed. I think I'm going to go out for dinner. I walked out of the dorm and saw BAP crowded around the TV. I didn't see Oppa though. 

"Yo, Mi Young! Where's Zelo?" Yongguk asked glancing at me.

"Oh I was about to ask you the same thing," I replied. I didn't want them to find out about the kiss thing. I feel really stupid for doing that. Why did I? I don't think I feel that way towards him. Do I? No he's jut my best friend, maybe not anymore. I always screw everything up, don't I? I walked back into my room after telling them I was going to change and go out. I changed into this:   (Without the hat) I wore this hat:    I walked out of the dorm after grabbing my black baggy sweatshirt. I walked until I reached the park. I have never been to this park, but I guess I needed some place just to calm down. I sat my down on a bench. I just heard people walking behind the bench. The area around the bench was very empty and clear. There were only a few people walking pass me. A lot of couples, sigh. I pulled my hairtie off my wrist and pulled my hair back into a ponytail. My hair flicked back and forth in the wind. It was nice and cool today. The breeze wasn't too harsh, it was just, perfect. I sat on the bench for a while. I just wanted to reflect on my actions. I ruined my whole relationship with him for being stupid and crazy. I laughed. What was I thinking? He obviously didn't feel comfortable the first time! Why force him? I shook my head and laughed in my arms. Stupid me. My life is ty. Forever and always. I shouldn't even try to make it better. One question stuck in my head though, where would I go now? Junhong oppa obviously doesn't want to see me after what I did, and Shinee is ing hates me. No one likes me, no one likes Mi Young. The selfish kid who does stupid actions. I chuckled to myself. I stayed out here for so long, it turned dark out. There were no people walking the streets anymore and no more people giving me pitiful expressions. It was almost pitch black. The only bright thing were the stars and moon. I checked my phone and saw that it was 9PM now. I have been just sitting here for 2 hours contemplating. I clutched my hands together and stood up. I blew on my hands because they felt a bit numb from the cold weather. I just walked to whereer my legs took me. That was to an ally. Not the usualy ally though, just another one. I heard voices echoing outside of it. I quickly hid behind the wall when I peeked in the ally. It was a couple, female and male. I think they were fighting about something. 

"Yah! Where have you been?" I heard some yelling. It was the girl. 

"Sorry, baby. I was just a bit busy. Something was just holding me up." The guy said. This conversation was a bit interesting, I'm gonna listen more. 

"Who was holding you up?" The girl snapped back asking. 

"My friend." I could of seen the girl raise her brow. I would of. "Just a friend, only a friend." He added on. The girl scoffed and I heard her cuddle up to him.

"Was it that...girl again?" She asked. I got more interested in the fight. The guy sighed.

"I told you, she's just a really close friend I haven't seen a long time. You can't blame her for being so close to me!" He said clearly frustrated with his girlfriend. The girl scoffed again.

"What if she tries to make a move on you? Huh?" She raised her voice a bit. The guy stayed quiet. The girl scoffed again. "Don't tell my she did!" She raised her voice a bit louder. There was an awkward slience. "Oh so she did!" The girl stepped closer to her boyfriend. The boy gulped. 

"I didn't do anything! She made the move! I promise! I ran away after that!" He said comforting her. Wait, Junhong oppa ran away after I kissed him. Does that mean, they're talking about me? I started listening carefully to all their words.

"Oh hell no! She does not make a move after what she's been through! That ! I swear she's trying to move in on you!" The girl yelled. I peeked and saw Junhong's face. It was him. I couldn't see the girls face though. I had to take a quick peek at them. 

"Come on Minji! You know she's just a close friend! She's just my best friend, we do everything together!" Junhong defnded himself. My eyes widened. So he's dating 2NE1's Minji. The whole time I talked about how much I hated her after I got dumped by YG and during the days I was training. 

"This girl has some nerve! Even I told Hyun Suk about dumping her! I turned everyone against her and she still finds a way to get on my nerves!" I heard Minji stomp her feet and growl a little bit after her rage. 

"I promise baby, you're the only one," Junhong said hugging her. I felt their bodies touch. How dare he lie to me! The only best friend I had left. I can't believe he got together with Minji! I would have been more ok with any of the other members, I wouldn't like it at all, but I'm pretty sure I hate Minji the most. My arch ing enemy! That bastard. Why is my heart hurting so much hearing their conversation? 

"Oppa," Minji whined. He told me I was the only one who called him oppa. And isn't she older than him? Like, what the hell? "Stay away from that she-devil. She's just a who wants attention, trust me, I know her! I have even trained with her in YG! Remember? That night we snuck out and had our first date behind her back. I still remember it," Minji said dreamily. They got together during my YG days? The days that were the worst and most painful. Those were the days I guess even my best friend even hurt me, behind my back. 

"Of course, jagiya. I remember that too. But, I don't think I can really, avoid her. She lives at our dorm," Junhong said. I heard Minji gasp. 

"Why does she live with you guys?" Minji yelled. 

"Because I found her and we're best friends. She really had no where to stay. She looked really depressed, Minji," Junhogn said defending me.

"Well, she has a home doesn't she?" Minji scoffed. I swear I could ttell she's rolling her eyes. 

"But-" Junhong started but got cut off. 

"No buts! Just stay away from her! Tell her to leave, go scram! I don't care, get rid of her!" Minji yelled. My heart hurt badly. Why me? What was going to be his answer? 

"Minji, you know I can't do that," Junhong said softly. The girl scoffed.

"Really? You can't do that? It's not hard to kick some out of your house!" Minji yelled at him. I could swear he flinched at her voice. 

"Jagiya, she's my best friend. You know we're still friends, right?" Junhong asked her, more like himself. 

"Still? After she kissed you? I would say your over. I don't get why you even made friends with that girl." Minji scoffed. That's an easy answer, we were in school together and he was the only person nice to me. The only person who understood me for what I am and excepted me. The only one who came up to me and talked to me. The only person not afraid. 

"C'mon. I know she didn't mean the kiss." Junhong backed me up. I smiled. At least he's sticking up for me. But, what if I did mean the kiss, what if I liked it? Did he? At least a bit?

"Why do you keep defending her? Does she mean that much? Huh?" Minji yelled. There was a silence. A big silence. "You know what Oppa? Me or her?" Minji questioned. The dreaded question I knew was bound to pop up sooner or later. I honestly didn't know who he would choose. My heart stung. Tears were filling my eyes. Why did I hurt so much? Is it because of love? Does love make you crazy? Does love make you stupid? Questions were filling my mind I didn't even get to answer any of them. All I was waiting for was his answer.

"Of course..." Junhong paused after that. Minji scooted closer to him. 

"Hmmm?" She asked.

"You. Forever and always. No one could come between love," Junhong answered hurting my heart. I heard them come closer to the exit, where I was. I heard them kiss before exiting. Should I run? I should. Before I could I saw them look at me. They eyes widened. 

"Mi Young, I-" Junhong started. 

"Just save it," I said. Tears were already falling down. He knew I haven't cried till' my sisters ran away. 

"Mi Young, I'm so sorry," He said. Drop. Drop. Drop. My tears kept falling. I ran away sobbing. He ran after me. He stopped after halfway from his girlfriend. I kept running, tears staining my cheeks. Why am I crying? Why am I hurting so badly? Why? Why? Why? I broke down crying. I couldn't even run properly. I screamed. I ran to another ally. Not the ally Junhong knew about. Another one. The one I only knew about. The only one that was a secret. It was impossible to find. Absolute secret. Not even my sisters knew about it.  It was a dangerous place to go, but I decided to go there. I ran to the place, still sobbing. Tears were flying all over the place. I finally dropped to the ground and sobbed. I screamed. I punched the wall and my fist geot kind of stuck in it. I pulled out my fist and pieces of the wall dropped to the ground. I collapsed on top of it. My life is falling apart, for sure. He was the only person I had. I was so sad I cried. How could he do this to me? Tears. Tears. Tears. That's all I saw. Water blinding me. I didn't want to see. I didn't want to live. I punched my hand into the broken down store that used to be here. I walked in and sat in a corner and cried. I screamed again. I grabbed a bunch of packs of beer and brought it to an ally near the place. I sat down and screamed again. My tears always fell out faster when I screamed. The pain went to from my heart to my mind as I crashed a beer bottle over my head, hoping it would knock me out. I had too much pain to have this damage me. I grabbed another bottle and poured it down my throat. It tasted bitter. It tasted gross, that's exactly how I felt at the moment though. I chugged one after one. I'm an underage drinking. It's ok, my parents own like, everything. I kept chugging it. I was going crazy. 

"I love you, Junhong!" I screamed. God, I was really going crazy. I realized I really did love him. More than just friends, but he has someone else he obviously treasures more than me. I sobbed at the thought. I picked another bottle and chugged it. It started raining, hard. I couldn't even tell which were my tears and rain. I didn't care. "No my beer!" I yelled. I covered it with my body. I chugged the one I picked up quickly to pick another one up. I picked one of with one hand. I had 2. I opened them up and drank from both at the same time. So much alcohol. I yelled everything that was on my mind. 

"Wo ai ni, Junhong!" I yelled at the top of my lungs. I was so far out that it wouldn't matter if it wasn't raining so hard. I was soaking wet from my tears and rain. I screamed. My scream was so scray sounding. I covered my ears. Why did I? I don't know I was drunk. I just knew that I was hurting on my body, head, and heart. I was hurting everywhere. I gulped down another bottle. I opened 4 bottles and picked up 2. I drank them at the same time. Some didn't even really get in my mouth it just spilled on me. I looked at my phone at the weather. It was a really bad storm that they had everyone keep inside their houses or pull over somewhere. Wow. And I'm here chugging away my feelings and laughing it off while I'm at it. Storm what? I plopped my head against the wall. I finished my second pack. They were really big packs. They had 30 per pack. Oh god. What am I doing? I'm speaking Chinese all of a sudden. 

"WO AI NI OPPA!!!!" I screamed. I threw a bottle against my head and laughed. My pain makes me laugh. So pitiful. I picked up 2 and drank from both at different times. I finished them an threw at the wall in front of me. It cracked and fell on my clothes. I laughed. I picked up some glass shards and cut myself on my arm. What am I doing? I wiped my blood on my sweater, then I wiped my tears on it. My face got bloody. I cut my stomach also. I could feel pain everywhere. I'm so pitiful. Why does the world hate me? I shouldn't be cutting myself. My mind wouldn't let myself control my actions. I didn't know what I was doing. I drank 10 more bottles then passed out in the rain. God, I'm going to have a major hangover.

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Updated! WOOT! WOOT! You guys wanted me to update so I did! YAY! Hopefully it isn't that sad as I thought it would turn out! =P I think I was kind of rushing this chapter, sorry for any typos or if it's kind of...bad. :(   I don't think it's one of my best chapters, honestly. I just had a bad night. EEP! :(   So how do you like this chappie? What were your emotions? Did you have any? Hehe! COMMENT! COMMENT! COMMENT! PLEASE! 

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