10PM. That was the time when I checked my phone. Chaerin and Dong-Wook have finished things that they have to do at the YG Building but before we left to where we’re supposed to spend the night in, I’ve got myself scolded by them.

 

Mostly from Dong-Wook. He’s such a protective-like-brother.

 

I just stood there and avoided his gaze the entire time. He’s a really nice person but when he’s angry, you can say that he’s really scary.

 

Right now, we’re on Dong-Wook van going to somewhere I don’t know.

 

“So where are we staying?” I asked, finally.

 

 “BIGBANG’s apartment.”

 

My eyes almost went out of it’s socket. I felt chills on my body, I guess you can say it’s because of fear. Fear to see Jiyong.

 

“We’re staying at Seungri and Daesung’s apartment.” Chaerin cleared the information out.

 

I felt somehow relieved. God, I don’t know what I’ll do if ever I meet Jiyong.

 

In almost half an hour, we arrived at the apartment.

 

“Aren’t we gonna be a bother?” I asked as Dong-Wook punched the numbers on the automatic lock. As the sound ‘cling’ was heard, Dong-Wook opened the door and so we went in.

 

“They won’t be using this apartment for the mean time. They’ll be staying with TOP and Taeyang.” Chaerin answered as she wore her slip-ons. I followed back and grabbed whatever slip-on I saw. “It was YG’s order.”

 

I just nodded.

 

“Where do you guys stay while you weren’t with me at our apartment?” I asked another question.

 

“We stay at the YG Building and sometimes, at Jiyong’s apartment.” Dong-Wook answered, walking to the room and placing his belongings to the sofa.

 

“I feel like you don’t wanna sleep on our apartment.” I copied Dong-Wook's earlier action and threw myself on the black sofa. “It’s just near this apartment, you know?”

 

“This apartment is nearer to everything we need, like the YG Building and Hyunsuk-hyung apartment is just above Jiyong’s.” Chaerin said, going to the kitchen after she placed her things on the coffee table. “It’s not like we don’t wanna stay in our apartment, Dara. This place is just more convenient.”

 

I just ‘hmp’ a sound in response to what she said.

 

I looked around and everything in Seungri and Daesung’s apartment screams that it’s a boy’s apartment. It’s neat and tidy too.

 

“This is a nice place. Much nicer than mine.” I remarked as I made myself comfortable on the sofa.

 

Dong-Wook went to the television and opened it. He sat on the bean bag near it and watched some variety show.

 

“What do you guys wanna eat?” Chaerin asked from the kitchen.

 

“Anything delicious!” Dong-Wook and I chorused. We both chuckled at that.

 

 

 

 

The next day, Dong-Wook and Chaerin woke me up early saying they had to go to the YG Building and exercise and then they left.

 

I tried to sleep again but I guess I’m already fully awake to do so. I got up and went to the bathroom and did my morning rituals.

 

Feeling hungry, I walked to the kitchen and opened the cabinets, finding if Seungri and Daesung have any ramen. I’m really too lazy to cook something difficult so something instant would do.

 

Luckily, the boys had five ramens in their cabinet. Perfect!

 

I grabbed one and started preparing what’s needed to cook it. After 5 minutes, my ramen was cooked.

 

I went to living room after. Placed the cup of hot ramen and chopsticks on the coffee table, sat on the floor and opened the ramen’s lid.

 

Hot smoke, greeted me, and also the yummy smell of it. Before I ate it, I opened the television since it was so silent at the apartment and I felt lonely.

 

And what made me more lonesome was the fact that I can’t go out this apartment until Dong-Wook and Chaerin come back.

 

I pouted childishly and then angrily ate my ramen. I feel like I’m back at my LA house, not allowed to go out unless I have bodyguards with me.

 

Déjà vu

 

I focused my eyes on the television as I ate my hot ramen.

 

It was SBS showing morning news. Just as I was about to change to another channel, the reporters mentioned BIGBANG’s comeback being postponed to 4 months from now and announced that some members would go solo for the mean time.

 

Jiyong already made an official statement about it at his me2day and that he apologizes to the fans. He hopes that the member’s that would have their solo next week would have the fan’s support though not all BIGBANG would perform. He also told that there was some difficulties with the songs of BIGBANG’s album so it had to be fixed. He didn’t want to disappoint the fans and show them low quality songs so he decided to postpone it. As a leader, he had to decide for it. The other members were also involved with the decision and agreed to it.

 

Why would they postpone it? Why would he postpone it? And does their president approve of it?

 

A lot questions were on my mind as I blankly stare at the TV.

 

Just as I was about to contact Chaerin and Dong-Wook to gather some infos about Jiyong’s decision, I heard the familiar ‘cling’ of the apartment door.

 

I wonder who it was? Seungri? Daesung? Chaerin? Or DongWook?

 

But as the door opened and after the person walked inside, that’s where I realized that, the person wasn’t who I expected.

 

I felt like someone punched me on the stomach and I felt like breathing was not possible. Cold feeling enveloped my body.

 

Jiyong

 

I abruptly stood up, instinctively. Unfortunately, I forgot I was seated below the coffee table and that it has ramen on top of it and it went to my hands and down to my feet.

 

I cursed as I felt the hot temperature on my hands and feet. I looked at them and saw it was turning red and painful.

 

“Oh Gahd! F**k! Aish!” I wiggled my hands and stomped my feet, wanting to be relieved.

 

Suddenly, a hand was on my wrist and then an arm on the back of my knees, Jiyong was carrying me, bridal style, bringing me to the kitchen. I looked at Jiyong, his forehead was creased and he wasn’t looking at me.

 

He settled me down at one of the seats of the dining table and then laid my feet on another chair so it won’t be touching the floor. He got dry small towels, ice from the fridge and put it on my wrists and ankles.

 

“Why are you so clumsy?” He said lowly, angrily.

 

I didn’t answer as I felt the coldness touch my reddened skins. My forehead creased as I still felt painful like something was ripping on my skin.

 

“Does it help?” Jiyong asked, looking at my wrists and ankles.

 

I nodded, though, my wrist and ankles still felt painful.

 

He went to the living room, I saw him kneel down the mess I made. He touched the spilled soup by using the back of his hand, testing the temperature. Like he wanted to see what temperature hit my ankles and wrists.

 

He went back at me after, cleaning the mess and placed it on the trash bin at the corner of the kitchen.

 

“Don’t you want to go to hospital? The ramen’s soup was really hot when it touched your skin.” He said, observing my red ankles and wrists.

 

I shook my head. “Can you just get the medicine for this from my bag? It’s in Seungri’s bed.”

 

He nodded once and left.

 

After a moment, he went back with my ointment. I always experienced this kind of things so I’m pretty prepared.

 

He held the soles of my feet as he settled on the seat, where my feet were a while ago, and then he placed it on his lap. I was about to get the ointment from his hand so I could be the one to put it on my skin but he already grabbed both of my wrists to him, removing the towels with the ice.

 

He opened the ointment and squeezed the content out to his fingertips. Gentle with care, he applied the gel-like-ointment into my wrists.

 

I winced with the contact. It was a bit painful.

 

“Sorry.” He softly apologized, staring at my wrists. After he was done with it, he focused to my ankles. He did the same with my wrists. I winced again and he apologized.

 

As he was done, silence enveloped both of us, just as what I had expected.

 

To break the silence and awkwardness, I spoke or more like whispered. “Thanks.”

 

“It’s fine. . .” He looked at my wrists and ankles. “Is it effective?”

 

Looking nowhere but him, I nodded twice. Silence enveloped us after. I could hear our slow breathing and the thudding of my heart. I just hope he doesn’t hear it.

 

I glanced at him to make sure he didn’t hear my heart thumping loud on my chest. He was frowning at my ankles, like he was in deep thought so I guess he doesn’t heard.

 

I was about to put my feet on the floor, since it’s really awkward having it on his lap, but he stopped my action by holding the back of leg. He looked at me with an emotion I can’t recognize. 

 

I looked away, feeling guilty of something his eyes were doing to me. “I wanna lie down.” I  whispered.

 

“Where?” He asked like he wanted to carry me to the place I’ll say.

 

I shook my head. “I can stand.” I wanted to but he held my leg tighter.

 

“Jiyong.” 

 

There was something the way I said his name that made him loosen his hold. I lowered my feet on the floor and so I stood. In an instant, Jiyong held me, just above my elbow, to support me.

 

I guess he didn’t believe that I can stand by own.

 

“I’m perfectly fine. Really.” I looked at him softly and so he removed his hold.

 

I decided to lie down on the sofa since the bedroom is so boring, and here in the living room, I have my own source of entertainment, the TV, to keep me from loneliness.

 

As I rested my whole body on the sofa, head on a throw pillow and another one on my arms, Jiyong followed and sat at end of it. The sofa was big, L shaped. He was now seated at the farthest, right across my feet.

 

I wonder how I’ll break this silence. Then I thought why he was here. “Why did come?”

 

He looked like some light bulb shone in his head. “Oh, I forgot.” He stood up. “I’m getting the boys their stuffs that they forgot to bring.”

 

Right, of course it wasn’t because of me. How silly of I to even thought about it.

 

He walked and disappeared to the boys’ rooms. He went back in a few minutes with things occupying both of his arms. There were books, a toy dog made by MCM, and two laptop bags.

 

“Need help?” I asked, he looked like he needed it.

 

“Yeah, just a little help opening the door.”

 

He’s leaving.

 

“Sure.” I walked with him to the door and opened it for him. As he walk out, I felt the urgency to yank him back inside. I tightened my old on knob, restraining myself to do so.

 

Suddenly his next few words made me relax. “Uh. . . Can you help me open my apartment door too?”

 

I bit my lip as I nodded, because if I didn’t I might humiliate myself by showing how eager I was.

 

I went out of the door and closed it. We walked side by side to the elevator, I pressed the up button and as it opened, we went in and went to Jiyong’s floor.

 

I didn’t really care if we were silent now at the elevator and at the hallway to his apartment. I just wanted to be with him, nothing else. Though, I wondered why Jiyong would place Seungri and Daesung’s stuffs on his apartment and not on Top’s, where they were staying.

 

He instructed me his set of numbers for his digital lock, as I heard the sound ‘cling’, I pushed it open and waited for Jiyong to come in.

 

Once I again, it was departing time. I was already planning to bid goodbye and close his door when he spoke, “You wanna come in?” I just stared at him. “I mean, you hardly touched your ramen and . . . since it was also because of me why you lost your breakfast, and I apologize for that, so I’m willing to . . . repay by cooking for you.”

 

He was blabbering cutely that made me accept the offer.  Just as he turned his back on me, I saw him grinning.

 

I lowered my head, grinning back as I followed him behind.

 

He placed Seungri and Daesung’s stuffs on the dining table. He turned to look at me, he looked shy when he asked, “Do you want to watch the TV or just sit here and wait for the food?”

 

“I’ll sit.” I sat on one of the seats. He followed my action through his eyes before he nodded twice and headed to fridge.

 

I remembered his shy expression. Why would he be shy? It was supposed to be me. He was supposed to be angry at me, ignoring me but here he was being all but kind.

 

It made me feel guilty of how I pushed him away last night. I knew being here was also wrong. I had to keep my distance but I can’t seem to do it.

 

“I’m sorry.” I breathed. Tears forming at the back of my eyes. I didn’t deserve his kindness, his care. I didn’t deserve him, all of him.

 

But I wanted him even if I knew it was so wrong and dangerous. I knew he would be in great danger being with me and tag him along in my pathetic life. It’s too risky.

 

But I still wanted him and maybe more.

 

Before I knew it, I was tightly hugging Jiyong from the back, feeling his warmth, and my cheek resting on his upper back.

 

“I’m sorry for pushing you away, Jiyong. I hope—“

 

He turned, facing me while holding both of my arms. “Look. You can’t tell me what to do, Dara. This is my life, my mistakes, my decision, my choice. So stop pushing me away because I’m not gonna leave.” He held both sides of my face as he stared right through my eyes. “You’ve become someone special to me, Dara. Someone I wanted to protect with my life so please . . . let me.”

 

I stared at him, taken aback from the words he just said. I just can’t believe that he would risk his life for my own. Tears were rolling down my face as I nodded twice. In a second, he pulled me closer and wrapped his arms around me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

AN: Jiyong's such a sweet guy, isn't he? (: Comments please!