Chapter 37 
Back Stabbed

***

That night, when Jongin sent a message needing to talk I replied back to tell him to meet up outside their apartment and I'll pick him up. Before leaving I go dressed with a thick coat over the orange sweater that I'm wearing.

I quickly wrote on a spare piece of paper that was lying around our  table and left it on top of Taemin's bed side table. I walked out of the house and locked the door and went inside my car and drove off. 

As I was driving closer to their apartment I spotted Jongin standing in the cold. I pulled the car over and scrolled down the passenger's seats window. "hurry and get in ~ it's cold!" you called and opened the door from him while you were still seated in the driver's seat. 

"where can we go that warm, and quiet" he asked while you started driving off. 

You stopped at a new by park, and parked in the empty parking lot. "okay we can talk now" 

"here? just in the car? what if someone see's us?" Jongin asked 

"ani- the fans here are different trust me ~" you reassured "uhmm, there's something I've been wanting to tell you for a long time" you began

"go on ..." he replied waiting for you to continue. 

"well it's to do with our past.." you paused before you could continue "Even though it's been for years and we've cleared all our misunderstands there's still something that remains in my heart that I am guilty for towards you" 

"do you still ... like me?" he asked *uhm ... this is totally going the wrong way ... uhm* 

"uhm I don't know how I should say this .." 

"just say it ~ I mean I also thought that there was still feelings for me remaining in there" he says as he points towards your heart

"that's not it ~ just listen .. please" you were now stuttering 

Jongin went silent and attentively listened ... "before I got married to Taemin I was already pregnant with Taerin-ah" 

"so because, Taemin got you pregnant you ended up getting married? is that what your trying to say?" he asked *at times Jongin-ah why can't you be sharp?!*

"Before I met Taemin I was already pregnant . Do you not understand what I'm trying to say?" you asked trying to be patient with Jongin's  slow reactions

You waited for Jongin to speak as you watched him blank out ~ taking everything you tried confessing. He was about to open his mouth but he stops and  walks out of the instead, walking into the park that was dark.

** you simply cursed yourself. You walked out of the car and locked the door and ran after Jongin who was already far from your sight "YA KIM JONGIN WAIT!" you yelled and he stops. His back was still facing you when you caught up with him. 

"I'm .... I'm sorry ... I .. -" 

"ENOUGH!" he yelled, turning his body to face me "WHY ARE YOU ONLY TELLING ME THIS NOW KIM HYORIN??" his expression ... it was muddled with hurt, anger, shock, basically anything that reflected pain.. his eyes were tearing and the tone of his voice ... it was exactly like the first time you bumped into him this year. 

"I can explain ... just let me exp-" 

"YOU ALWAYS SAID THAT, IF TAERIN'S MY CHILD ... AISH WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THEN. I COULD HAVE GIVEN UP MY DREAM FOR THE BOTH OF YO-" 

"THAT'S EXACTLY WHY I DIDN'T WANT TO TELL YOU!" you cried, tears streaming down your face "you worked so hard to finally get where you are now ...." you tone died down "I didn't want you to end something that you've put so much effort and dedication too, do you not understand that that?" you explain

"I'M SICK OF HAVING TO ALWAYS UNDERSTAND HYORIN-AH. YOU KNEW THAT I LOVED YOU! WHEN YOU LEFT HERE I WAS ON THE VERGE ON ALREADY GIVING UP! WHEN WE MET AGAIN AFTER FOR YEARS ~ YOU KILLED ME. SEEING YOUR FACE AGAIN, YOUR NEWS ABOUT BEING MARRIED, HAVING A CHILD AND WHAT NOW THIS?! DO YOU NOT KNOW HOW I FEEL?" he complained 

The guilt was there, you didn't want to cry but your mind wouldn't listen